A New Man

Gosh, what to say here? I’m a 48 year young tabletop RPG gamer, IT professional, systemZ sysprog, and Db2 admin who just happens to be exploring polyamory, his queer side and just a bit of kink along the way. Who wants to join me for the ride of my life?

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Being alone may scare you, but staying in a bad relationship will damage you.”

— private-counselling.co.uk

[gazanarchive]

I overthink. I over love. I over feel. I’m the sea or I’m nothing.

Juansen Dizon

[agiraffesjournal]

Through their eyes

I think you may not truly understand someone until you’ve seen them loved by another.

The feedback loop of a couple can be intense, whether times are good and bad, with feelings reinforcing themselves.

But when you see someone being loved and loving another, you get to experience them through someone else’s eyes. You find new dimension in their character.

No one can love someone like I do. But I can’t love someone the way they do either.

[sensualcuriosity]

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. that’s not fair on yourself. you’ve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter? please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.

[lickerishdreams-deactivated2019]

“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.”

— The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: A novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid

[sensualcuriosity]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Cope with Jealous Feelings

1. Understand what jealousy is. It’s a mixture of fear and anger – usually the fear of losing someone who’s important to you, and anger at the person who is “taking over”. Recognise that it’s a destructive and negative emotion - and often nothing good comes out of it.

2. Try and figure out why you’re feeling jealous. Is it related to some past failure that is undermining your ability to trust? Are you feeling anxious and insecure? Do you suffer from low self-esteem, or fear of abandonment?

3. Be honest with yourself about how your jealousy affects other people. Do friends or partners always have to justify their actions and thoughts, or always report on where they were, or who they were with? That kind of pressure is destructive in the end, and puts a strain on relationships.

4. Find the courage to tackle your feelings. Decide to question your jealousy every time it surfaces. That will enable you to take positive steps to manage your feelings in a healthier and more constructive way. Some possible questionsto ask yourself include: “Why am I jealous about this?”; “What exactly is making me feel jealous?”; “What or who am I afraid of losing?”; “Why do I feel so threatened?”

5. Work on changing any false beliefs that might be fueling your jealousy. Start this process by identifying the underlying belief, for example “If X leaves me, then I won’t have any friends”; “If Y doesn’t love me then no-one will ever want or love me”. Understand, that beliefs are often false – and that they can be changed through choice. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel.

6. Learn from your jealousy. Jealousy can help understand ourselves better – and teach us important lessons. For example, it’s natural to feel frightened when a relationship is new, and you don’t yet feel secure. This is normal and commonplace! Also, some people DO have a roving eye, and they may lack commitment in the longer term. Better you know that now, than later on.

7. Work on accepting and trusting yourself. That makes it easier to trust others, too, and lessens our tendency to feel jealous of others.

[samueldeckerthompson]

The crisp carnage of Autumn will soon crunch underfoot; imagine them to be your many burdens, the spines of your enemies, and the hearts of those who once broke yours.

See all of that spread out beneath you, stomp through these lifeless leaves without mercy, then step aside and watch as the winds of change render it all meaningless.

-Samuel Decker Thompson

[tackled]

“Call me and tell me you miss me. Call me and tell me I’m on your mind as much as you are on mine.”

— (via flame)

[visualsymphony]

But only if it’s true…

[polyintheburbs]

Can I text it? #introvertproblems

[beforethebeautyfades]

girls with brown eyes, I swear theres nothing more beautiful.

[samueldeckerthompson]

She delves beyond the surface desires of physicality and gets to the heart of what I truly want;

one who understands me,

one I can be honest with,

one who will accept the dirtiest bits of my past along with my deepest darkest desires,

and one who always wants to help me fuck it all away.

-Samuel Decker Thompson

Our Fucked up Hearts [Samuel Decker Thompson] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. A nearly 300 page collection of poetry, s

[maga-master]

The best thing about kissing is when you first start really slowly with shy kisses. And then you just start to push yourself against the other one and kisses get longer and rougher and you start to breathe heavily. And ugh.

[0ne-with-nature]

this rn please

[a-new-man-is-born]

Mmmmmm yassss

[a-new-man-is-born]

Oh those eyes, those lips.

They belong to the devil,

And they bewitch me.

They would steal my soul

had I not already given it willingly.

Take and do with it what you will,

For I have no claim on it any longer.

Mine, mine, mine,

The heart too.

The heart, the soul, the mind, the body.

The all!

All is yours to treasure or trample at your whim.

Oh, kinky!!

[qvotable]

“Two souls don’t find each other by simple accident.”

— Jorge Luis Borges

[a-new-man-is-born]

I’m not sure I believe this, but it’s a beautiful sentiment to be sure. Accident or no, I’m thankful for all the souls that have crossed my path and touched me.

[samueldeckerthompson]

Our Fucked up Hearts [Samuel Decker Thompson] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. A nearly 300 page collection of poetry, s

There will never come a time when I grow tired of hearing your whispered affirmations of our love, for it is like pumping oxygen to my soul, and with you in my life, I can finally breathe again.

-Samuel Decker Thompson

[a-new-man-is-born]

I like this guy’s style.

[a-new-man-is-born]

Don’t blink.

“Blink and you’re dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink. Good luck.”

It was with these cryptic words that the Doctor warned Sally Sparrow of the sinister Weeping Angels in my favorite Dr Who episode of all time, Blink. Today I commemorated these terrifying monsters on my arm, as my first tattoo.

There’s no denying that the Weeping Angels are one of the scarier creatures in recent scifi/fantasy pop culture, and certainly one of the most popular Dr Who creatures. But to me this tattoo means even more. It represents my newfound dedication to facing my fears, looking them in the face and not backing down. For if we do not face our fears they will destroy us. They will trap us in the past and drain the potential energy of our lives, just as the Weeping Angels do to their victims.