Some nights I struggle to fall asleep. I can feel the pressure of so much anxiety building and no matter what I do, I cannot shake it off my skin. It’s these little details, subtly finding their way into my head. And my head has a habit of spiraling them out of control. It’s gut wrenching honestly. I don’t feel any closer to myself after all these years. I still feel like I am watching my life unfold from a distance and I can’t get it back. I have tried self reflection. I have tried self preservation. I have tried self contemplation. I find my thoughts are uncontrollable. They pass with time, but some nights they come full force and drown me. I am drowning tonight.








