erin michelle .x

36 • stoner • bisexual keep your sexual comments to yourself, please

[a-thought-potato]

I think when I’m ready to be sexual again with another person, it’s going to be with a woman 🙊

just a feeling.

[a-thought-potato]

patiently waiting for The Maine to release their latest single. and I can’t help but feel a little sad knowing I’ve never had a friend to share in the excitement of this band with. it’s always just been me & them.

[a-thought-potato]

I sometimes regret posting this here..

but is anyone up and maybe wants to chat?

rough night over here.

[emotionalwords]

kinda sad tonight but that's ok

[a-thought-potato]

seven. whole. months.

[a-thought-potato]

maybe I’m ready to fall in love with another tumblr stranger lolllllll

[a-thought-potato]

I’m finally learning to be okay at night, by myself. Even when there’s no one to talk to, I don’t feel nearly as alone or scared as I used to.

Sobriety is wild.

[a-thought-potato]

✨ wake up, babe.. we’re falling in love with life again ✨

[a-thought-potato]

my heart hurts.

break ups suck when you don’t want it but know it’s the right thing..

dear god, let this hurt be quick.

[a-thought-potato]

161.

Having some trouble winding down, so I just started this show on Netflix about the Menendez brothers. That should relax me, right?

[a-thought-potato]

oh, and I’m 154 days sober today.

[a-thought-potato]

I miss the connections that Tumblr used to bring me. Seems I can’t find that here anymore, or anywhere else on the internet. Makes me sad.

[a-thought-potato]

149.

My trip to my parents house got extended because my little sister is in town. I see her maybe 2-3x a year now so I’ll take any chance I can get. But being around so many people, especially my mom, for almost a week now is starting to get to me.

But, still no alcohol. So that’s something, right?

I’m exhausted, but proud of myself.

[mafanwysmufon]

[a-thought-potato]

144.

today was, as the kids say, all panic and no disco.

actually, it wasn’t bad until about 3pm.

and then, I don’t know what happened.

I suddenly didn’t feel like I had the right to be at a bar if I wasn’t drinking. Or like I’d get in trouble with someone just for being there. And of course, those thoughts spiral into a thousand other negative thoughts that are 99% untrue.

cue the panic attacks.

I’m spending the next (at least) 5 days at my parents house for a number of reasons.. brainwave therapy appointments, some family is town, we’re having a baby shower for my littlest sister. Living 2 hours away from everyone has its perks for sure, but this is one of the downsides.. when there’s a lot going on here, I end up having to stay for way too long. But I have to be thankful that I’m so close with my family. Right?

I just took a 100mg THC shot, because for some fucked up reason, I like that I can shoot it like I used to with tequila. Maybe I should add that to the list of things to speak to a professional about.

there’s still so many goddamn thoughts in my head, but I think things are starting to quiet down. this therapy works, and I respond really well to it. I can already see and feel it making a difference, despite the panic attacks today.

Maybe I need to take the time to write out that post, huh? Maybe throw some positivity around here every once in a while, lolllll.

maybe the giggle grass is kicking in.

can I still call it giggle grass if it was in liquid form?

asking for a friend.

[nikkilunalace]

[a-thought-potato]

139. I cried last night because I’m happy.

Been a while since that’s happened.