Oranges

I’ll help you swallow it down

[a1-playboy]

I finally pack my things.

I pack up my grief and I pick up the pieces of my heart that broke on the kitchen floor. This place lays grave to everything I thought I was and everything I thought I wanted.

Memories die as new desires flourish. The ghost of lovers and friends will haunt these walls as I wash them. I wash the place new, nothing but an ear piercing echo of nonsense. I accept the change it’s had on my heart and I take the parts of me I’ve gained.

I hope for the love I gave to find its way back to me as I leave us here to die, and free my heart from the deafening silence of your absence. Here’s to moving the hell on from shit that’s got you stuck.

[stay-close]

“Though I may seem at times somewhat distant from you, through the gray mist of philology, I am never far, my thoughts always circle around you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche, Selected Letters

[stay-close]

“Sure, I’m sad, but I’m not looking to soothe that sadness by replacing it with a new relationship. Women are allowed to be sad, and they’re allowed to be single, and they don’t need to hear that one day a man is going to make it all go away by telling her she is good enough again. She’s good enough as she is.”

— Charlotte Green

[strykerlancer-deactivated202405]

Something in me wants more. I can't rest.

— Sylvia Plath, from “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.”

[stay-close]

“Lonely people have enthusiasms which cannot always be explained. When something strikes them as funny, the intensity and length of their laughter mirrors the depth of their loneliness, and they are capable of laughing like hyenas. When something touches their emotions, it runs through them… awakening feelings that gather into great armies.”

— Mark Helprin

[stay-close]

“I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody’s going to come and save you, you’ve got to save yourself. Nobody’s going to give you anything. You’ve got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t get it. So don’t give up on your dreams.”

— Barry Manilow

[stay-close]

“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

— Jorge Luis Borges, After a While

[illbeyouranchor-deactivated2024]

“Why does what I think matter to you so much?”

“Because you matter to me. You’ll always matter to me,” I said my voice small.

I could feel my heart beating in my fingertips at my own admission.

An admission you did not deserve.

We both felt it.

We both knew it.

And for once you were silent.

Because you knew my words were pure.

And you knew yours never were.

[memories-beneath-the-skin-deact]

I drift my waking moments in a dream

walking in tunnel vision with you just out of my view

I'd break my bones to reach out farther if it meant holding you

If your name was the last words I'd ever speak on my dying breath

I'd carry no regret in my my life, if you were the last sight my eyes

were to see before permanent blackness, I'd leave this realm

Seeing true art

[memories-beneath-the-skin-deact]

My favorite sexual organ to stimulate is her mind

[stay-close]

“We were the people who were not in the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edges of print. It gave us more freedom. We lived in the gaps between the stories.”

— Margaret Atwood

[memories-beneath-the-skin-deact]

Once you truly taste someone, the primal addiction is too alluring a flavor to ever want to go back to the mundane

[flowerytale]

Jeanette Winterson, from The Stone Gods

[hypervigil]

they’ve always said, when you feel a random shiver, that a rabbit has run across your future grave

(now in technicolor! happy fall equinox)