longtime lurker here incoming with some meta: i’m really intrigued—in a good way!—by the implications in (who really gets to be) one of the greats that carlos is in a way even less well-adjusted than jannik (not that jannik himself is much better). like sure he has a much more present family and friends, is completely (?) fine with being gay and jannik perceives him as this big, bold beacon of unabashed freedom, but at the same time he’s crippled with insecurities and hinges everything on the opinion and attention of other people even as it crushes him and reduces him into an object because imho he’s still very much running on catholic software with jcf, his family, his fans and especially jannik replacing god—essentially. idk if this was intentional or not but it’s very interesting and gave me the brainworms, like it’s not just black and white and these two have much more in common than they think, it just manifests in totally different ways.
anyways, sorry for the messy rant. it’s just something that’s been rotating in my head ever since i read the ootg series. you are an absolutely incredible writer and i can’t wait to see what you do next 🫶
aghhhh thank you so much for this little analysis! 🙏🏻
carlos thinks his catholic upbringing does not affect him since he doesn't consider himself religious anymore – but he doesn’t realize how much it has shaped the way he sees himself. he thinks of himself as unworthy because it's how people are painted by catholicism (more than the bible itself but catholicism straying far from its foundational text is a different conversation altogether). in my experience the church shows people as tainted, guilty, small. they need to repent their entire lives just for being born it seems. and it manifests in the way carlos thinks and acts – no matter what he does, he is not enough, he is not worthy, he needs to be even more self-sacrificial, more humble, more generous until there is nothing left to give anymore. he doesn’t clock that the way he is is deeply rooted in the fact that he grew up in a religious environment.
jannik replacing god for carlos is also a very interesting take. it is only hinted at in my work but it is true to an extent (though carlos obviously does it unconsciously) – he wants jannik to see him as worthy of his love. he needs someone to tell him if he's good enough – if not god, then jannik.
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