Aabha Deshmukh

she/her this love

[un-----made-deactivated20240219]

forgot to post this from a couple of weeks ago 🌷 I love getting my bag ready to work & study outside

[fitmydaydream]

“I want to still have a sharp pen and a thin skin and an open heart.” - TAYLOR SWIFT

[aabhadeshmukh]

I got noticed by Taylor nation today and i really feel so happy thought I’d share cause it still feels so unreal!

[aabhadeshmukh]

[aabhadeshmukh]

My nerves entangle, hollowing my body and filling me with emotions to which I'm an addict. These nerves entangle to form one united force. This united force beats, rhythmically like my heart which doesn't belong to me. It's with you and yet I survive. I'm in love but I can't be. For you'll never see and I'll never tell, where my heart resides.

What a convenient deal it is for you, and it irks me.

"The ending, is it happy?" I ask before watching a drama. "Yes of course" is what I want to hear because I'm certain we'll never have one. We'll never even have an ending to begin with. We'll never begin again and I'll write this down on a crumpled up piece of paper, that'll then be buried in a potted plant. Hoping this love for you leaves me.

[aabhadeshmukh]

this one morning I was at the beach and the sea was so beautiful, I felt possessed by it. A quarter to 7, this girl comes along looking like she walked right out of bed. After minutes of stealing glances we involuntarily get into a sea shell collecting battle. I got 3 good chunks and I’ll never know how many she got.

all of it felt too beautiful to be true.

[aabhadeshmukh]

Order was very much needed for my teeth, just as messed up and crooked as the world we live in. Grade 7 was when I got myself braces. My very own golden ticket to embark the journey of unattainable standards of beauty. I had to put on braces for more than a year and that was something I was initially blinded to. I felt very unlovable when I particularly looked like Mia Thermopolis before transformation, and they were considered outcasts. Having bad teeth or getting braces never shook a leaf forget tree. I looked forward to the monthly dental visits but, these groups of brackets sat on my teeth so prominently all the time that no rainbow-coloured rubbers for braces made things easier. Amidst the constant travel from the pillar of jovial to the post of miserable, came a boy.

I knew him all along, to be precise, ever since Grade 2. But his choice to like me at my lowest is something that changed a lot many things, even who I am today. To be loved by someone is a feeling your heart will always find refuge in, and that alone can change everything.

It sweeps you off your feet, tosses you into the endless sky of hope and you just can't comprehend how something so invisible can feel so strong and real.

This here is clearly a thank you note and I hope the boy in question doesn't read this. Times are such that gratefulness isn't an alternative but a constant necessity.

This love taught me to love within and I feel grateful to once have been tied by this invisible string.