ChampangeAndComplaints

Too petty for paradise, too tired for therapy. 17

[aarizorchid]

Orange......

The best color ever….

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana

[aarizorchid]

Who Am I?

I enjoy letting out my feelings in large chunks, like how I used to on here. I've been struggling with the concept in which I feel like I don't have my own personality. I have always felt like a sponge, soaking up the personality and traits of everyone around me and never forming my own. While I was talking about this with my boyfriend, he tried to tell me that I had plenty of personality, which I could agree but none of it feels like me. I know that this feeling will soon subside, and that it's a very normal feeling to have. Especially at this empty point of my life, the summer after I graduate and before I move away. It's hard and it's tough but the only thing to help this is to do what makes me happy, be who makes me happy. It's not such a negative thing, it can be a way to recenter with myself, remembering my interests and rediscovering hobbies.

[aarizorchid]

Does It Count?

While in the car today, my boyfriend had said something that got our conversation to the point about sexual partners and how many we've had in the past. Now, I will always admit to having five sexual partners in my life, though three of the people were not consensual at all, one my ex-boyfriend who pushed too far, and now my current boyfriend, who is perfect.

When it comes to counting my moments of sexual assault as sexual partners, I assume it's just me being honest of how many times I have gotten to that level with another person, willing or unwilling. There's another part to this, does my rape count if it was another female?

To m, I find it hard to say yes because it wasn't with a penis, though that did happen twice. The two incidents that it happened with another girl, I never wanted it. Not at all. Yet we were young so I never put much thought into it. It still scares me sometimes to rethink the moments because it was scary, and I didn't want to be fingered or eaten out by who I thought was a friend of mine. It's just confusing and I'm lost. This seems like a Reddit post but I find myself more comfortable here. Thanks!

[aarizorchid]

I missed posting but I’ve also liked telling my thoughts to my journal

[aarizorchid]

I would’ve said happy birthday but it’s clear you didn’t want me to so, I didn’t- my bad

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[aarizorchid]

It hurts so bad to walk

[aarizorchid]

May have sprained my ankle two days before grad

[tockthewatchdog]

we need to give this tweet more credit for im pretty sure coining "die mad about it"

[invertprivileges]

checks out, thank you melanie

[aarizorchid]

10 am and my history teacher sent me an instagram reel

[aarizorchid]

He got me a McChicken and an ice cream cone, then split a large fry with me. It meant a whole lot

[aarizorchid]

I have so much tmi to spill but the groupchat is sleeping, ugh gag me with a spoon

[aarizorchid]

I just want the day to end

[aarizorchid]

He wrote me a letter and mailed it to me 😭

[aarizorchid]

I need to talk to him about my senior project and ask him for help but he’s to busy playing tf2

[aarizorchid]

I want to play ocarina of time but I have to wait until Thursday

[aarizorchid]

Sometimes you have to write a letter that will never be sent