TAKE MY LEAVE OF YOU - PART 14 {Present Day Roger Taylor x Reader}
RECAP: So, I wrote this on my old tumblr. If you would like to read the story in it’s entirety then it is still available over there or you can find parts 1-13 in one place on my Wattpad. This is a smaller part to ease you back into the story as I think some context would be good before a finale.
The first day in the hospital was tiring. Roger stayed with you the entire time. You could tell that he was desperate to announce to friends and family that the baby was finally here but the only people you allowed him to tell for today at least, was your parents and his children. It was still overwhelming to look to the left and see a tiny perfect baby in the plastic hospital crib.
The first time you breastfed him was such a weird experience. Roger insisted on stepping out of the room to give you privacy. It wasn't like he hadn't seen your breasts a hundred times before. He had probably even witnessed breastfeeding numerous times with Dominique or Debbie but you didn't protest. Having that bonding time. Being shown how to do it by the midwife, it was a learning curve that you were happy to experience because this was life now. Learning things about motherhood.
By the time that the evening came, the doctor paid his visit. It was one you hadn't had before and she was lovely. It was a quick check over of you and the baby, a bit personal and awkward but once the all clear was announced, it was time to be allowed home.
"I'm surprised we're allowed home so quickly" You admitted as you sat on the edge of the bed with Dawson in your arms.
"Times have changed, they don't like to keep you in too long if everything is healthy. The sooner you have him home, the better" Roger answered as he fixed the car seat. He'd had it sitting in the boot of the car for about a month just incase. Thank god he was at least prepared.
"I just hope I'm ready for this" You replied, sighing softly as you glanced down to the baby in your arms. Then you felt the hand on your shoulder and the weight of the bed shifting as Roger sat beside you.
"Even if you don't think you are, which I think is rubbish, it'll come to you naturally" He assured you, "Nobody really knows what they are doing with their first but you know, you have me and of course, your mother will be able to give you loads of great advice."
Looking up to him, you gave him a smile. He was right. He always knew what to say to make you think rationally. No amount of watching videos or reading parenting books would actually be able to prepare you for a real life situation. Realistically, who actually would have time to go back and forth to a book when something was going hellishly wrong?
Then Roger got to his feet and held his hands out. "I'll put him in his seat" He said, giving you a reassuring nod. Handing the baby over to people, even Roger, was still awkward. Was still something that you needed to master and once he had Dawson in his grasp, you felt the ache from the weight of him suddenly missing in your arms. It was a feeling that you hadn't gotten used to yet either. Everything, in fact, was still alien but Roger was so gently. He had the right touch and he was able to navigate putting Dawson into his car seat without even disturbing him or making him to uncomfortable, and he knew exactly what to do. It was done within a matter of minutes. Roger put the handle up and lifted the chair. "Ready to go?"
Getting to your feet, you nodded and grabbed the overnight bag. "Lead the way" You agreed.
It was early evening when you arrived back at the house and it was admittedly nice to be home. Roger carried Dawson inside and you both went straight up to the bedroom which was exactly the way you had left it. The sheets hadn't been changed and it was a mess. Biting your lip, you tried not to let the dread consume you.
"I'll sort it" Roger said, breaking your thoughts. He must've known what you were thinking. "Why don't you try feed this little one before we attempt that first bedtime?"
Giving a gentle nod, you walked over to the seat as Roger placed him down and he talked you through how to remove him from his constraints. It was easy to tell you didn't have the same soft touch that Roger did as Dawson began to stir slightly and show his protest against what you were doing. However, you persevered and soon you had him in your arms again. If you gave up everything he made a noise of disapproval, nothing would ever get done.
Going downstairs, you got yourself comfortable in the lounge and geared up for the first breastfeed at home. There was no one to come to the rescue. No one to assure you if you were doing it right or wrong but being nervous wouldn't help now. It was something that was going to need to be overcome and it was now or never.
Thankfully, it was easier. Dawson latched on with no problems and despite it being uncomfortable for the first few minutes, soon, both of you settled down as he slowly drank and for the first time, you felt content. Maybe it was because it wasn't hard this time or maybe it was being back in the house but something just fitted.
Time just seemed to fly by. Dawson didn't even feed for that long but you were too comfortable to even think about moving and he didn't mind too much about just being cradled. It was only when Roger appeared that you saw at least an hour had past. That was insane...
"Everything alright?" He asked as he towards you but he didn't sit down.
"Actually, yes" You smiled as you nodded, "Finally."
"I told you it would come naturally" He replied, "The sheets are changed and I've ran you a bath. I figured you'd want that hospital smell of you and it'll help with the soreness." Closing your eyes for a second, your smile got wider as you shook your head. "What's so funny?" Roger then asked.
Opening your eyes, you tilted your head as you looked at him. "I thought I'd be... I don't know, jealous? That you had done this before but I'm not. I'm so thankful that you have this experience under your belt" You admitted, "A bath sounds amazing right now and I didn't even think I needed it until you suggested it."
Roger chuckled softly and shrugged. "Two partners and five kids later, I know my stuff" He grinned. "Do you want me to help you put him down or?"
Biting your lip, you glanced at Dawson. He looked so peaceful already. "I think you can handle it on your own."
"You should be doing it."
Shaking your head, you glanced back to Roger. "I know but just for tonight, please? It'll give you time to bond with him and I'd rather his first night in the house was a good one. You have the soft touch."
There wasn't even any protest. Roger took Dawson and disappeared. You made your way up to the en suite of your bedroom. The sight of it took you back. He had really went all out and made an effort. Not only was the bedroom ready for you just to slip into the bed but the bathroom was dimly lit with a few candles and the tub was filled with steamy hot bubble filled water. It was so inviting. There was no time to be wasted as you took off your clothes and slipped into the water.
At first the warmth of it stung at your skin but the heat soon began to work it's magic. The dull ache between your legs soon began to fade and in fact, you didn't realise how tense your muscles actually were until you felt the begin to relax.
The first week of being in the house with the baby just flew in and he actually settled considerably well for a new born. Of course, he had his little crying episodes. There had been or two disturbed nights but you and Roger worked as a team and with the team effort, it didn't even feel as overwhelming as you originally thought.
However, today bought a new challenge. The first of the visitors. Your parents had been to visit you in the hospital and promised to come down again once everything had settled down. Especially when Roger went back on tour, whenever that would be. Although, that was something that you weren't thinking about right now. It would only destroy you to think about having to do this on your own without him.
The doorbell rang and your head shot to Dawson, who was sitting on his matt, staring up at the toys that he was probably too young to find any point in other than them being amusing. "Relax" Roger chuckled, "It's not like they are going to wake him."
"It's reflex" You mused as you gave him a look, a small smile playing on your lips. "You should get the door before he actually shoots to the moon with the anticipation" you added.
"I've been waiting forty years for him to do that and he hasn't yet, much to my disappoint" Roger replied sarcastically as he walked out of the lounge. You could hear the door opening and the muffling of excited sounding voices. You could make out words here and there. Standing up, you patted yourself down. Somehow, even in a knitted jumper and a pair of jeans, you found some way to look presentable.
Then in walked Anita and Brian, who already had his arms wide open, walking towards you before embracing you. You smiled to yourself as you returned the enthusiasm for the hug and then stepped back. You greeted Anita with an embrace also. They had bought bags of baby gifts and you were beyond grateful.
"Is this him!?" Brian exclaimed as he pointed to Dawson.
"No, that's his brother" You replied. Brian's head shot round, eyes wide before he saw the amusement in your face and his features relaxed. "I'm joking, yes, that's him."
"Can I have a hold?" Brian asked.
"Of course" You nodded.
Brian instantly picked him up from his matt and walked over to sit on the couch that opposite the one you and Roger were sitting on. Dawson was instantly fascinated by the white hair and the guitarist was clearly loving the wide blue eyes soaking in his appearance.
"What did you name him?" Anita asked.
"Dawson Spirit Taylor" Roger answered.
"What a fantastic name" Brian agreed as looked up. "Spirit Taylor. Hm, possibly the best name I've heard in a long time."
"I won't take that an insult" Roger chuckled.
These were the moments that you loved the most. The moments that felt like family away from family. Brian and Anita were amazing with Dawson. Just as amazing as Roger was. It was that sense of hope that he was going to be loved by more than just his parents. He was going to be loved by everyone.
The gifts consisted of a number of baby clothes. Ones with cute slogans and little shoes that he would grow out of so quickly, it hurt to even think about it. There was also a few toys and other things. Â He had so much stuff already in his nursery that was currently being unused since he was sleeping in the moses basket in your room.
In the week that followed, even more people began to show up. One by one, Roger's children each showed their face and got their chance to meet the newest addition to the family. Despite the thoughts you had about that, they generally seemed thrilled that their father had a new baby to add to the family. They had accepted him as a Taylor. Which was a relief. Then came a visit that neither one of you were expecting...
"Sarina?" You exhaled as you stood at the door. She was staring back at you. All smiles.
"Can I come inside?" She asked.
Blinking for a moment, you looked over your shoulder and then back at her. "Sure" you nodded as you moved to the side to let her in. The pair of you walked in silence to the lounge. The minute that Roger saw her, you thought that he had a stroke right there and then.
"Sarina" Roger greeted as he stood up from the couch. "What are you doing here?"
That a question you were wanting the answer to as well. "Well... I know it's been a while since we last talked" Sarina began, "But I heard the news that the baby was born and I wanted to visit. I have a present for..."
"Him" You said, finishing her sentence.
"...for him" Sarina corrected herself. "I hope that's ok."
Roger exchanged a look at you. At that moment you knew the ball was in your court because you knew that despite the fact that he had left her for you, he would never ignore her or send her away. Especially when she was trying to be nice. Everything was screaming at you to be as rude to her as she had been to you in the past but then, that was the past.
"Of course it is" You finally answered, forcing a smile. "That's actually really kind of you. You didn't have to do that."
"I know but Roger was a big part of my life. I just wanted to congratulate him."
"Would you like to meet him?" You asked as you took the bag with the gift from her, sitting it to the side of the table.
"Really?" She asked.
"Are you sure?" Roger asked.
With a chuckle, you nodded. "Is it that unbelievable?"
"Of course not, I'll go see if he's up yet" Roger said as he disappeared.
Whilst he was fetching Dawson from his basket upstairs, you sat down on the couch. Sarina surprisingly sat next to you. There was something niggling at you telling you that this was all an act. A game. That after all that happened between the three of you, no one could possibly be that nice.
Then again, you and her were once the close friends during the first part of the Rhapsody tour. When everything was simple. Who knew so much could change in such little time? Within you, you felt that you owed it to her to give her the chance that she showed up on your doorstep expecting.
Then Roger appeared with Dawson snuggling against his chest. Your eyes stayed firmly tuned on Sarina who had a look that was almost unreadable on her face as she took in the sight of her former partner holding his baby. Once again, Roger exchanged a glance with you before you gave a slight nod and that was all the confirmation he needed to gently pass him over to her.
Sarina stared down to Dawson who was still half asleep from his nap. It was a lot to sit still next to her but at the same time, you were still taking in her reaction. She was smiling. Staring down at him. Taking in all of him.
"He looks a lot like you Roger" Sarina finally said and you released a breath that you didn't know you had been holding in.
"Everyone says that" Roger agreed.
"He has your eyes" You nodded.
"And blonde hair by the looks of it" Sarina added. Finally, she looked up and then she passed him over to you. "There was also another reason that I came here."
There it was. That niggling thing. "Oh yeah?" You urged. Desperate to know.
"I came to apologise for what went down the last time I was here" Sarina admitted, "It was acting the worst in the worse situation that you can find yourself in."
Giving her a sympathetic look, you instantly felt guilty. "You had every right to act the way you did" You insisted. "Someone who you thought was your friend having an affair with your husband and then getting pregnant, practically taking over the home you made, you've nothing to be sorry for."
"Y/N's right" Roger agreed, "Don't feel bad. We've all made mistakes in this room and thankfully, we're just adult enough now to realise that."
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