Summary: Reader doesn’t work in the medical field and is in a relationship with Jack. Throughout their relationship, Jack has made her feel a certain type of way. It doesn’t help that Robby always has something to say. After a final comment made from Robby and Jack’s inability to stand up for the reader, she makes the decision to end the relationship. Can Jack fix his mistakes or does the reader find someone who loves her for her?
Part 1
Part 2
The Story of Us:
Summary: Snippets of reader and Jack’s life together.
The parts are not in chronological order- but I recommend reading in the following order.
Recently Married-
Who Do You Love More
Can We Make it Through This?
We Made it
Pregnancy:
The Story of Us
Our Baby Has a Name
Is She Better Than Me?
Last Shift
Nesting
He's here!
Any Kind of Life:
Summary- Reader was in a past, very toxic, relationship with Robby. Jack is the person she truly loves. This is a story of Reader navigating her life after Robby and trying to see how Jack can fit in her life.
Warings: Abusive relationship, Rape, Talks of death and suicide, This is a heavy fic- Please be cautious when reading. Warnings are listed at the beginning of each part.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody
Maybe You're Right
Sammy Bryant2
Love You No Matter What
Summary- Reader and Sammy are engaged and she accompanies him to a cop gala. Dewey makes some comments towards her and Sammy stands up for his girl.
Love You No Matter What
Billy Butcher
My Super Extraordinary Life
Summary: reader is a supe and reflects on meeting Billy. And a small introduction of their life.
the sunshine of the night shift, all cookies and lavender, loves to make the grumpy, sassy, silver fox attending smile through attempts at flirting and baked goods. but what happens when he asks a certain replacement attending for drinks and the sunshine dims?
—angst. yearning. fluff ending. reader can be described as plus size but no specified race. age gap (reader is in her late 20s, early 30s, our grumpy man in his late 40s, early 50s). medical inaccuracy.
part one here !
There was a sudden lack of confections and savouries in the pitt.
Everybody noticed that it was not a coincidence.
The first time, you faked a gasp and everyone brushed it off as just a slip of your mind. A habit that just slipped past your brain. A reason that didn't need a calculated thought process. Genuinity was believed like it wasn't a calculated gamble and everything moved on normally.
The second time, you yawned and complained about your lack of sleep. The drain of energy due to hellish shifts and mental exhaustion was no new notion to the people of the pitt. Everyone had experienced this personally so no one questioned the lack of sweet treats. You were given empathetic side hugs and understanding nods. However, the treats were still missed.
The third time was when everyone staggered. You didn't even mention or acknowledge the absence of filled boxes of beloved delicacies and moved on with your shift as if this was the normalcy stitched onto every day of the pitt. You received side eyes, casual check ins on your health and suspicion from two mama nurses.
Worst of all, you received something you were too blind for. Something you never expected. Jack Abbot's concern.
After the day you heard Dr. Al and Jack, no Dr. Abbot, you felt as if someone had drained the soul out of you. Their words, his laugh and grin constantly replayed in your mind—finding new angles and new thorns to prick you. That night you cried. You weeped. You sobbed. But you realised that you needed to back off.
Jack was not yours. He didn't owe you anything.
He was a free man, allowed to ask other women out and that he did. Just because your heart was torn due to illusions created by your mind, the feelings that you held for him didn't mean that he was held responsible. He never ever even smiled at you. Wasn't that the whole premise of this? How were you so humiliatingly blind?
The mornings you would wait just for him, so that you could tease him one last time before going home. The smirk that would catch you off guard, the huffs and eye rolls you held dear—why? They were mere reactions, a crumb of what he could have actually given. The afternoons you would spent baking, imagining his face, when he tried it.
If he tried it.
Would he finally smile?
Would he gaze at you with his twinkling eyes?
God, you wanted to dig up a hole and die.
Why did you create this world by yourself? Where he would reciprocate your feelings? Why would he like you?
You with your chubby stomach, your endless rolls down your back, the way your scrubs stuck to them and and tightened around your thick thighs. Your visible pouch and overbearing love handles which poured out that your scrubs tugged at every single day.
He must be entertained by it, you thought.
The way he would be amused by your one liners, your silly attempts which he must've seen as desperation. You know he loved the attention, sensing every time he heard your a little too enthusiastic pitter patter growing as you got near him, he would immediately expect some flirty dig.
How much ever you tried, he never gave in.
It was a reminder—he was your attending. You were his nurse. And he would never go for you. He would never break that professional barrier with you.
But what about that moment on the roof? Samira asked you when you were telling her everything and almost flinched when you scoffed.
Tears almost brimmed your eyes at the thought of that sunrise, his words, that smile. The hope you built in your heart, the sliver of belief that had grown into something wildly inappropriately out of proportion which had been shattered.
"He probably felt responsible. I am a nurse under his authority and he noticed how I was on the verge of fucking losing it. Can't lose another nurse when there's a statewide insufficiency of nurses." You laughed humorlessly, sipping the wine in your hand. She had just stared at you, reading you meticulously, but that's when you realised one thing. This was your workplace. These were the people you worked with.
And you had let yourself get too personal.
The sunshine of the night shift.
Where had you gone wrong?
Like why could Samira read you so well?
"You know, you don't have to make yourself feel dumb over something that wasn't in your hands."
"But wasn't it Mira? I should've stopped myself from...whatever that was."
"What? Stopped yourself from what exactly, hon? Being yourself?" She questioned. You let out a huff. "You don't understand, Mira. It wasn't just that—I–I got way too involved in this whole...thing. Flirting with my attending to make him smile?" You retorted. Samira just rolled her eyes and smiled softly.
"That's who you are, bub. Making others smile and laugh. Spreading joy!"
"Don't make me sound like a Disney character." You had playfully rolled your eyes.
However, she couldn't convince you and after that you had decided that you had to refrain. Refrain yourself from getting too involved, too personal. You mentally reprimanded yourself for sharing that little story with Abbot. You had to pull back. So you did.
You decided no baking. Not for someone who doesn't even have a bite. No flirty comments or digs for someone who doesn't even give a smile. No bonding over past trauma or tragedies. Professional boundaries must be set. For your own sanity.
Now the thing is Jack Abbot doesn't believe in coincidences, so the first time you called him Dr. Abbot in a flat and weirdly un–you way, it bugged him. His mind said its been a hard shift. But instinct said that he knew you, and that this wasn't normal.
He can tolerate the lack of attention and then he'll get used it, you figured. Besides, he has Al Hashimi now. Your chest tightened.
He probably didn't even care about you that much, did he?
So, you pulled back.
Little did you know, Jack Abbot noticed everything immediately.
—
"Hey, sunny,"
Your back tensed. Your attention on the chart in front of you wavered, but you didn't want to show him that. Not him. You had to back off. You had to push the stupid giddy feeling you get at that nickname. Your eyes hardened on the chart.
You hummed in acknowledgement. Jack's eyes furrowed. "You know, while I appreciate you not bringing in treats to distract our pittlings, they are complaining to me about it."
Everyone. Not you, you figured.
You gulped. It was hard to figure out what to say in a way that didn't seem rude or too standoffish. Or too obvious to the fact that you were trying to avoid him.
"Sorry, Dr. Abbot. I didn't realize that, do you want me to tell them to back off?"
You didn't notice the way he flinched. Or maybe you chose not to. Because even if you chose to not let your eyes drift off to the attending, your body didn't stop understanding him. It didn't stop feeling him.
Jack swallowed in the feeling of his heart squeezing. His jaw tightened for a small second, before returning his focus on you. His mouth opened to give a reply before someone called your name. His heart's pace quickened, almost in panic, but all he knew that something was wrong with you. You started moving, didn't even wait for his reply, like you were afraid of what he was going to say. How he was going to react. Your heart was on the line.
But before you could slip past him, he stopped you, his hand on your elbow. Your eyes widened at his touch. His grasp around your elbow, firm yet not harsh, soft and almost careful. His calloused fingers' touch was almost feather-light, yet it burned through your body. Your mind flashed to the roof, to the way he took care of you on the other side of the railing. You let out a shaky exhale.
"Sunny, are you okay? You know if there's anything—"
"Three traumas incoming! Car collison, two adults, females, and a 7 year old boy! ETA is 4 minutes!" Lena yelled over the nurses' station and you immediately snatched your hand from his hand as if it scorched you. You couldn’t even look in his eyes anymore.
But his didn't leave you. "Sunny, are you fine?"
"I'm okay." Jack furrowed his eyebrows at your short tone.
You gulped. "I have to get the...carts ready." You mumbled and sprinted off.
—
You put up a verbal guard, a professional mask, something other people, who didn't know you wouldn't question at all. But Jack wasn't "other" people. He knew you, atleast that's what he thought.
So, he approached you more.
It was like the world was cruel, you thought. Why is he coming after me, now?
You were just trying to protect yourself from the hurt. The pain. The ache of seeing him every time and the reminder, pricking you like needles, that he chose someone else. Maybe you were being unreasonable. Afterall, none of it was his fault. But wasn't this what he wanted? Professional boundaries. So you boarded up walls that you wished he wouldn't break through with his saccharine tone and honey dipped kindness.
But you had to be strong.
So when he came up to you with his concerned yet hopeful eyes, searching your soul for something you didn't want to name, you closed off. He was just a man who was searching for the sunlight which blessed these insufferable nights. "Hey,"
But before he could even say something, he could see the walls go up, your guards that weren't up before. His throat tightened. He didn't understand what was happening.
"Dr. Abbot, do you need something?"
He stared at you for a bit too long. His stare burned on your body, as if it was consuming your entire being, luring you to look at him, give him something. The gaze seemed too critical to you, like he was trying to figure you out, a secret. It was stripping you bare.
"Are you sick?"
You pursed your lips and pretended that your body wasn't begging to just lean into him. "No, not at all." You said, nonchalantly.
"Are you sure? I can check you out—"
The warmth inside your sternum flared up, threatening to redden your whole face. You had to get out of there. "Really, I am good. I appreciate your concern, Dr. Abbot. But its not required."
You walked away.
Jack's throat went dry. Usually, you would throw in a retort at him, a flirty dig or some insinuation he would be too flustered to acknowledge. He imagined it, your wicked grin, a mischievous glimmer in your eyes and he would expect the comment—"You can check me out at dinner, Abbot." or "A little eager are we, Mr. Grumpus."—and now, nothing.
He watched you walk away as if you had burned him with your absence of words.
Why was this affecting him so much?
But he was in denial and he knew that. If he wasn't so obvious, maybe Lena wouldn't have started teasing him about how his gaze lingered on you. The way you smiled, they way your hips would sway in that playful way of yours after getting the slightest of reactions out of him, the way the room would light up due to your laugh.
He gulped and walked away.
But Jack Abbot knew one thing—something was wrong with you. And he couldn't let his the night shift's sunshine dim out.
—
You groaned and hit your head against the locker. This was too difficult. Had you actually fallen for this man so hard that you saw him everywhere now?
Every where you went, he was there. His scent, his gravelly voice, his eyes followed you literally everywhere. Every single patient, you were partnered with him. You had to give your best fake smiles, swallow in every instinct to make him smile and focus on the patient in front of you.
"Hey, I am Nurse—" you introduced yourself, "and this is Dr. Abbot," and him, stopping yourself from glancing at him in his glory. "He will be inspecting your wound, is that okay?"
The 72 year old woman in front of you just nodded, a reassured smile forming on her face as she looked up at the man you tried so hard not to adore. He glanced at you and gave the woman a gentle smile, making your heart skip a beat. Can he not?—
"Sunny, can you please hand me the gloves?" He asks you and you just nod, trying to hide your face from him. Your ears had turned cherry red and the way his fingers brushed against yours was not helping you. He gazed at you for a moment and you had to remind yourself that you had a patient in front of you. Who was noticing everything.
"Now, can you tell me how this happened, Mrs Lowery?"
The woman told her dilemma. How she was trying to make a dish her husband used to love. She was out of practice unfortunately, as her husband died four years ago, but today was their wedding anniversary and she refused to sulk. Rather wanted to celebrate him. While cutting something the knife slipped and cut her.
He listened to her intently, his care burrowing deep into his veins. Ignoring the way his delicate touch or gentle eyes made absurd butterflies erupt deep in your stomach, you handed him everything he needed to clean her wounds and prevent any infections.
"Sunny, can you hand me the—"
"Have you always called her Sunny? That's such a cute nickname!" She gushed at the both of you. Heat crawled up your neck, making your whole face go crimson as she looked expectantly between the two of you.
"You both make such a cute couple!" She beamed.
You couldn't look at Jack, not when everything was making your eyes water.
"I—um, no—we aren't—" You stammered frantically. Your brain was going in a frenzy. Were you still being obvious? How could she insinuate that—
Jack cleared his throat, and you side glanced him. He looked dejected. God, he must've been so embarrassed by this. You felt a sharp sting inside your ribs.
"Ma'am, your wound is clean, I will come back to do some tests though. So, just stay right here, alright? Do you need anything else, like water or some food?"
"No, sweetheart, you're such a doll. You just keep that sweet smile on that face, don't you agree, Dr. Abbot?"
"Um—yeah—" He rasped, the tip of his ears turning pink. "Her smile is," He swallowed, "sweet, makes everything easier." He turned his head towards you, your eyes meeting his, his hazel meeting yours. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears because it was too intense. The way he was looking at you, gazing at you, as if you were worth something in his life, someone he cared so intently about. The soft green specks in his eyes sparkled at you and you had to force yourself to look away. There was a lodge in your throat.
You had to get away.
"Thank you," You mumbled to him or the lovely lady, you didn't particularly know but you had to escape. Escape before your heart decided that he was in love with you, too. Increased your hope by a ridiculous amount which would ultimately crash and you would have to consume an insane amount of ice cream while weeping.
Not happening.
Not over the man who couldn't even smile at you.
So, you almost ran out of there.
"Hey, hon! Can you get some gauze from the supply room for me?" Lena asked Kelly. But you saw your opportunity, and ran before her, "I got it, Lena!" You chimed in, a fake smile creasing your face weirdly. "Listen Kelly, could you take South Eight? She needs some tests done. Don't worry, Dr. Abbot is there, he'll tell you what to do," You pleaded.
"But—"
"Thanks, Kels, I love you—"
__
"So, why did our honeybee just dump her case with you to nurse Kelly just to get some gauze for me?"
"I—I don't know. God, does she seem weird to you lately?" He ran a hand over his face. His forehead held exhausted creases, his muscles sore and he felt like something had been tugging at his chest. Your sudden absence in his life was confusing him to no ends. Why were you acting like—like—
"Oh, you mean the fact that she doesn't try to make you smile anymore?"
He blinked. And again. His eyebrows furrowed. "Can you read minds or something?"
She raised her eyebrows at him and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, suspiciously. "So, you were thinking the same thing?"
"What? No. That's not—Oh, no."
"Uh huh," She stared at him, "Listen, nobody here knows what's going on with her, but you should at least try to cheer her up."
"Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. Thanks, Mama nurse. I swear this place would go to shit if it wasn't for you." He boasted.
"Don't I know it," She grunted.
—
The next shift, Jack walked towards you with the confidence of a man who knew the secret to the most infuriating woman. As if he knew how to break down all your guards successfully with having to move a muscle. And Sunny, he thought pridefully, he can't wait to see the look on your face.
He strutted in, ignoring inconsequential, judgemental looks by Ellis and Shen, with a coquette brown bag in his hand. It had the label of The Moonlight Bakery, written in a sweet font, with bows tied on its handles. Inside it held your most favourite pastry, the one you were yapping about a few weeks ago. Its aroma floated towards you before Jack reached you. You could taste the sweetness of the blueberry compote topped on the sweet tres leches cake that you love so much.
Your eyes drifted from the board in front of you to everyone near you. Why can you smell that? Where is that coming from? Before you could figure out the person who was gatekeeping your favourite pastry, the last man, the last person you would expect such a menial thing about you, stopped beside you.
His fresh cologne hit you, threatening to lure you in a dreamy state. Anxiety coursed through your veins and you frantically looked around, finding a way to avoid conversing with him. But before you could move away, he plopped down a bag next to you. Your eyes widened at the label and the pastry inside.
You cursed.
"For you. Your favourite pastry from that bakery you couldn't stop talking about last week. Gotta admit your taste is not half bad, Sunny." He grinned smugly. What?
He remembered.
Why does he remember?
Why did he even pay attention?
You swallowed, glancing at his satisfied expression and to other peering eyes near you, too eager for your reaction. "Um...Thanks Dr. Abbot."
His grin immediately faltered. "What?"
"Thank you for this, you didn't have to." You said mildly. His face fell. Almost crumpled. Your heart pace increased as you witnessed his eyebrows furrow, his lips form a discouraged pout and his hazel eyes dimmed. Something tugged at his chest. Yours ached.
"Why are you being weird?" He muttered, with a gruff voice but it was disheartened, as if he was taken aback. But you had to pretend there wasn't anything wrong. That this was normal. This is normalcy. That the very weave of every moment you spend with Jack now didn't change the way your heart pumped deep inside your sternum. How all of it isn't inherently unnatural. That it didn't unsettle your bones. Every time you had to create a formal boundary or throw a polite word at him to protect yourself, you felt as if your soul was losing itself, the very sparkle that held you and him. Because as every detached conversation widened this distance between you and the man you loved brilliantly, an ache spread through every muscle, to an extent where your lungs couldn't process the oxygen it inhaled. Or maybe it wasn’t the oxygen that your body needed desperately.
You swallowed that desperation.
"I'm not being weird?" You blinked, cluelessly.
He pursed his lips, his frustration boiling, like a 5 year old who was refused his favourite candy, something he expected so cockily but he didn't show that, no. His face was unreadable.
You almost rolled your eyes. Shocker. No reaction by Jack Abbot.
"Don't do that."
"What do you mean, Dr. Abbot?"
Every instinct in your bone was screaming at you to lean into his body, touch his forearm, give him your sweetest smile or a kiss on his cheek as a thank you.
He looked like his frustration was about to boil over, force him to say it outright. He stopped himself in his own irritating, out–righteous way because half the hospital was shamelessly spying on you. He glanced at the pastry in front of him, untouched. Then at you, whose eyes had returned back to the chart, as if he was unimportant. Disposable.
"Nothing," He muttered.
He walked away.
The next shifts, you didn't come back. Didn't go back to being the Sunny he knew. You had stopped leaning into his space. You stopped calling him old man, stopped haphazardly and inappropriately complimenting his looks, stopped your dramatic winks, your warm waves and soft smiles when his day was going unexceptionally difficult.
It was becoming impossible to ignore. Not by just Jack but by your fellow, lovingly nosy, coworkers.
"Do you think we should do something?" Javadi asked Ellis, who, along with Crus were observing the very entertaining scene in front of them.
You were assisting Jack on a cardiac patient. Your movements were mechanical and detached and your eyes were focused on the patient but they were still vacant. His kept drifting back to you, your face, as if he was seeking something in the way your features expressed, as if they held the answer to all his questions. Yet Jack's eyes had this look in them, something akin to melancholic, because the answers he sought weren't what he was searching for.
Shen—who was also there with you—and the patient were looking between you and the attending back and forth as if this was the best and worst entertainment they had gotten since Sophie's Choice.
Shen side eyed Ellis across the room. "O—kayyy, this is so much worse."
"What even happened between them?"
"Whatever it is, they refuse to talk about it which has amped up the tension."
"Which is simultaneously slaughtering employee morale. Seriously, I will write a formal complaint to Robby." Crus chimed in at which Javadi snickered.
"So, do we get it involved?"
"Nahhh, let them figure this out themselves." Ellis declared as Crus groaned next to her.
"Care to make this interesting?" Princess smirked. Javadi jumped out of her place and Ellis flinched. "Jesus, where did you come from?"
"40$ on 4 more shifts after which they have a huge fight and makeout in the supply room."
Javadi scoffed but Ellis raised her eyebrow. "50$ on 3 shifts, and makeout on the roof."
"You really think they will last that long? Abbot looks like a volcano about to reach its bursting point. 30$ on 2 shifts—"
"Abbot can last longer, the most patient man I've ever seen." Javadi stated, mindlessly playing with her pen while gazing at the two of you.
Crus gave her a deadpan look. "Not for the girl he's so crazy in love with."
Ellis leaned back on the counter.
"Does he even know that?"
—
He still didn't stop his tries, his kindness and compassion pouring its way into every shift as he brought you your lattes he once complained about—how they are not even coffee, just random flavours mixed in milk—he helped you with your charts and made sure that Shen didn't finish that absurdly spicy ramen you like from the vending machine.
But you had stopped seeing it as hope, in order to save your heart and feelings from any more damage, but only seeing it as your attending looking out for you. As he must be with everyone else.
It was only that. Professionalism.
It could be only that.
But you didn't know how hard misery had hit Jack. Every time he looked at you, something made his chest stutter. He tried to deny it, the way he felt at peace whenever you were near him, always smiling. The way he would feel like the universe blessed him with you, the way you would be determined to make him happy. Denying the way he would gladly surrender to your shenanigans, your attempts, your exclusive sparkle if it wasn't for his stubbornness.
It almost scared him.
He didn't expect to care so much for someone, yet find someone who cared so much for him after his wife's death.
He lost someone he loved and then fell to the crutches of loneliness and emotional numbness. He didn't find happiness, scratch that, he didn't believe that he deserved happiness nor care. It was Robby and Dana who took him out, reminded him that there is so much to live for and that there are still people who care about him.
But love? He forgot that. Forgot what it feels to be in love. Forgot what it feels to be loved by someone. He carried his wife deep inside his heart, but the thought of finding another person to love, our rather another person feeling him worthy enough to love was unthinkable.
Then came you.
A blast in his life, you entered with a box full of chocolate chip cookies, the most annoyingly sweet smile on your face, and the biggest heart on your sleeve. It took him less than a second for his brain to decide you were trouble and his heart comprehend you were significant.
And beautiful.
So simply beautiful.
Your wide eyes, to your curvy hips to your thick thighs. Everything had him unnecessarily malfunctioning. The way your scrubs stuck to your back rolls, and your cute pouch which poured out in the front and how the neckline couldn't hold your cleavage, knowing his large hands could hold your body just they way you liked, sent him spiraling. He would've done anything to see you out of the scrubs. He didn't know why he was suddenly acting a 16 year old boy who had discovered women for the first time.
Then there was your pretty smile. It used to send heat waves through his body, a giddiness along with it which he thought he would never experience again. The way you would look at all the patients with kind eyes, always chirpy for the kids who were scared, compassionate with the parents. He didn't know what to do with himself and what he was feeling when you sent him your warm waves every time you saw him and all he could do was purse his lips and nod.
The danger in his mind and heart would grow whenever you brought some of your delicious food to try. Always making sure the kids (doctors in the their mid 20's) were fed, along with everyone else who overworked themselves. This was just a step towards—imminent doom?—he didn't know. But he knew that the way his heart raced with the urge to just be near you and your kindness all the time, make you smile, make you blush and fluster you wasn't exactly normal.
Yet, his body never stopped your ridiculous attempts, his smile and feelings coming slowly to the surface. But he had to put up a wall. Because this sudden lack of inhibitions when it came towards you was dangerous, wasn't it? No, it was scary. Not exactly dangerous. This lack of control was, in a way, good. But he could never admit that. So, he put up a wall and never smiled. Never gave you a reaction.
But never stopped you either.
So, when all of it had stopped all of a sudden, his heart malfunctioned. His brain couldn't process this change. Rather refused to adapt to it.
Denial is a river in Egypt, Ellis had said.
He didn't understand what it meant. Or rather, he didn't want to.
It was when Robby cornered him that he knew he wasn't just being ludicrously unsubtle but he was being moronic as well.
"You know, you're being stupid, right?"
"Excuse me?"
"Sunny."
Jack's eyes hardened.
"That's my nickname for her. Find your own." He scowled at Robby.
But Robby laughed outright, boisterously. "Do you hear yourself? God, do you even understand what you're doing?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." He claimed.
"You know she made that Afghan food you like. The one you used to yap about in your letters."
"Wait, what?" Jack breathed out. He gulped and reminisced the sunrise on the roof with you. The way you looked in the sun, how your eyes lit up when he smiled for you, the kindness in your eyes when he told you about his times in Afghanistan—his heart lodging in his throat. You actually listened. He felt like he couldn't breathe.
"Look at you, man. You're flushed." Robby gasped out, his eyes unbelieving. Jack's gave was pink, a dreamy look in his eyes, his pulse quickened at an alarming rate. "You're down bad for her, aren't you?"
Jack just let out a shaky breath. His eyes were glassy.
"Listen, I don't know what happened between you both, man. But you gotta get your shit together, Jack. You've met a woman so kind and so loving, someone that you won't find in a million lifetimes. She likes you. You know that? Who spends half their time trying to make you laugh?"
He took a soft pause as Jack let's out a soft, unbelievable chuckle. "She is amazing."
Robby nodded, "The universe is giving you another chance, man. Ridiculously easy one because she's right there. You just gotta do right by her, Jack. I swear to god, if you fuck this up, the whole E.D is not going to forgive you. She might be your Sunny. But she's everyone's sunshine here. No one wants to lose that."
Jack breathed in, trying to process every word Robby just said. He sighed and shook his head. "I'm so fucked."
"That's right."
—
The end of the shift Jack felt like he couldn't breathe. Not with you still looking at him like you didn't know him. You still ignored every single opening he gave you. By this time, you had gotten better at hiding your pain behind a mask of smiles and propriety. The civility you had structured masterfully between you and Jack was meant to be protecting you. You tried to convince yourself shift over shift, yet you knew it was killing you from the inside.
What you didn't know was that it was killing him too.
His own decorum was slipping. It was frustration that was seeking through the crevices of his well maintained reputation as a composed doctor. Not anger though. Never anger.
He felt like he was losing you.
His Sunny was slipping away from his fingers.
"Dr. Abbot? Dr. Park is here for the ortho consult?"
He merely nodded, his head not in the right state. But it worsened when he got to North Four. You were there. Not alone. With Park.
He entered, his footsteps heavy with the storm his heart had been enduring. The fluorescent lights pierced through him, not like they did before, when you were there to warm him up. When your smile would warm the whole place up. You would always look at him first. But as he entered this room, a coldness spread through his veins, because this time he realised you didn't look at him first.
Instead, as his sight settled, he saw you.
Laughing.
With Dr. Park. Your gaze set on him.
A wrenching pain shot across his chest.
No. No. No.
He glanced between you and Park.
Jack's eyes narrowed. You had your hand loosely covering your pretty mouth as you giggled to yourself, but he was not the cause. Dr. Park stood there in all his glory telling the young teenager some hilarious tale of an injury he went through while playing football in his high school years. The teenager seemed more relaxed and comfortable now. You stood there beside him with a suture kit in your hand, your eyes never leaving the ortho attending, with a sparkle in your eyes that Jack never saw.
You didn't notice him.
At least that's what he thought.
You had sensed him entering as you always did. Your body had an instinct when it came to him, as if seeking him out or leaning into him was more of a nature to you. Something you had grown comfortable to. You recognized his presence immediately and somehow, even if you had tried to get in the habit of forgetting him, your body hadn't forgotten him at all. After all, muscle memory is muscle memory.
So, your shoulders had relaxed but your heart raced. You had difficulty focusing on what Dr. Park was saying so you just kept your eyes on him.
"Dr. Park. Took you long enough." A rough voice came from behind. Your eyebrows immediately furrowed. Jack's voice was tight, as if he was holding something back. Some kind of pain or discomfort. You had seen him get shot at, yet his voice had never been like this before. It was new for you.
He saw you turn away from him, almost an inch closer to the other attending. His breathing had become shallow, teeth grinding one another as if he was trying to control himself. The distance between you and him had never been more suffocating. He couldn't breathe in your lavender and vanilla scent, couldn't feel your warmth, hear your silky, cheery and kind voice.
But he thought he witnessed it, an ease in your body, the way it hasn't been with him in past few nights. The laugh he hadn't earned in ages. Something that, apparently, Dr. Park had earned.
His heart was starving. Lungs felt hollow.
But something about the proximity between you and Dr. Park made irritation gnaw at his chest.
"Why? Did the ED miss me, Abbot?"
He let out a huff that sounded much like a scoff, like he couldn't believe the audacity of the man. "Oh, don't worry, ED is doing just fine." He gruffly said. Dr. Park's mouth twitched slightly.
You stood between them, a tension attaching you to him. Yet you felt like there was something going on in his mind, something that was making the veins in his neck pop. The intensity with which he was glancing at you was magnetic, a force you wished you weren't so pulled towards. You resisted and resisted. A string between you both losing its elasticity moment by moment as you not only avoided him but refused to name it.
So, you did what you thought was best.
You deflected. You deflected and turned your attention on Dr. Park in front of you.
"Well, don't worry, Ortho is perfect for me. I was just convincing this lovely nurse to join me up there. I swear—"
"Excuse me?"
Your breath hitched.
Something beneath him, inside his lungs, set on fire. A cold fire. It knocked the air out of him. His brain stuttered. Stopped functioning thoughts except for a tangible reality of you actually going away. A warmth he couldn't hold onto first.
"Sunny? You call her that, right?" He smugly added, unknowing of the fire he was adding fuel to. "Sunny, can you pass me the chart?"
Jack's irritation whitened into something else. Hot anger. Frustration. Panic.
Absolutely fucking not.
"You don't call her that." His eyes had darkened, jaw clenched to an impossible extent. The room had fallen to a deadly silence. The air had escaped, a cold settled around which had nothing to do with the weather. Your throat had gone dry. Face flushed. Heat spread through your body.
You hadn't ever seen Jack with such a dark expression.
He gritted his teeth, eyes narrowed—hazel covered with an envious green—and whatever burned inside him was creeping out, ugly and unseen. "Only I call her Sunny."
"Dr. Abbot—"
He ignored your gasp of voice, unbelieving of his claim. It was scalding and irrational, he knew, but he couldn't stop it.
He could only see what his brain flashed in front of his eyes, undesired. An image of you moving away, another person making you laugh, flustering you the way he used to. You looking at someone else with the same caring eyes. Because he did, now. He looked for you first. He didn't want to lose being the first person you looked for, forever.
He felt something coil and tighten under his sternum.
Especially not because of fucking Dr. Park.
"So what should I call her, Abbot—sweetheart, darling, honey? She looks like a honey." He teased on.
"You call her nothing, Park. She's not your anything."
Park's eyebrows raised in amusement, finally getting a hang of what exactly was going on. He moved his gaze back and forth Jack and you, a tension he didn't know he had stepped into.
"I see, Abbot. Of course. She's yours—"
"I'm not!" You cried, a desperation in your voice that pierced through the tensed air set in the room. "I am nowhere near his. Dr. Park, please continue with the consult." You whispered with a frustration lodging in your throat.
You moved to leave, glaring at Jack before storming out.
—
Jack didn't go after you. Not this time.
Because at this point, he felt like he didn't understand you anymore.
Or rather he felt like he was losing you.
The worst part was that he knew your laugh. It rung in his ears every time he felt like the darkness was going to absorb him again. He knew every version of it, every version that you gave him—with your heart open. It was the way the room used to light up every time your eyes brightened with it, a loud laugh, one that bounced off of every single surface just to get to him and wrap him in its velvety warmth. Then there was the sly giggle or the snort you couldn't help but let out. They gave him a kind of delight that would linger.
Yet when he heard this one, something lurched behind his ribs. Because he didn't expect this. Didn't expect to hear a new one which he hadn't catalogued himself yet. A swirl of ugliness and breathlessness tightened under his sternum because it was not him that was the cause of it.
White frustration surged through the man as he thundered across the ED. A type of storm people had not seen before.
"What happened?" Lena asked, fearlessly. His gaze sharpened as he remembered the foreign sound again. "Fucking Dr. Park. And Sunny."
She raised her eyebrows. "What?
"This man thinks he can just swoop in and try to poach her. Fucking called her Sunny," He ranted. "Everybody here knows I call her that. And then when I told him that, Park had the fucking audacity to ask me whether he should call her 'honey' then."
Lena pursed her lips at him, amusement visible across her face. "Right."
"I mean, can you fucking believe that?"
"I can't fucking believe you, Dr. Abbot." Samira muttered to herself, resentment laced in her words. Her eyes had sharpened as if to cut Jack, but they were still focused on the chart in front of her.
"Excuse me?"
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "If you seriously don't know what you've done, I can't help you." And tried to walk off. Before she could, Jack caught her. "Mohan, what are you talking about?"
She huffed and crossed her arms. "Dr. Abbot, I have patients to catch up with."
"Seriously? Listen, I care about her. A lot. And I have no idea why she is acting like this and its killing me. If you know something—please tell me." He pleaded.
"You have no right to act all jealous and possessive of her when you asked out Al Hashimi."
"Wait, what?"
"She's been trying to make you smile for months and she bakes for you goddammit! You give her nothing, never! And then the poor girl walks in on you and Dr. Al—"
"I never asked her out."
"Excuse me?"
Jack's heart dropped down in the pit of his stomach. "I never asked out Dr. Hashimi."
"But she—"
"Never. I did ask her to get beer together but that was just because Robby wanted me to get a a clear image on her. It was never meant—Fuck."
Samira pursed her lips and blinked at the man as he went through a plethora of emotions. He swallowed and raised his gaze at her to find her eyebrows shot up, expectantly, as if to say you need to fix this now.
"I need to find Sunny."
—
You needed a breather.
And what better place than the roof?
You breathed in the air, a calm that you wished would stop the storm inside you. The whirlwind of emotions and stupid feelings. All for that one man. One man you couldn't seem to let go of. It was almost humiliating how much you wanted to hold on, hold on to the brittle dream of him loving you back like you did him.
The look you saw on his face. God, did you imagine it? Did he also miss you? No. No. You stopped yourself. You just needed some more time. Away from him. Away from the chaos which was a few floors down. A bit of silence—
The door creaked open, destroyer of your attempts at peace up here. You wished it was Lena or Ellis but you knew who it was.
"What are you doing here?" You asked weakly.
"Sunny—"
"What do you want from me, Jack?" Your voice broke.
"I need to know why out of nowhere you've been acting like you don't fucking know me, Sunny." He confessed, his frustration laced in the words. "I need to know what the hell your problem is, cause'—"
"Jack, please—"
"No, I need to hear it from your mouth, okay? What is it? You hate me all of a sudden—" He kept pacing towards you, as if without the close proximity he won't survive.
"No, you fucking dumbass! I love you! I've been in love with you and you don't—" You hiccuped, turning around, tears finally rolling down your cheeks. "You don't a–and if I stay any longer with you, I'll break my own heart because I will keep falling a–and you won't."
"You're in love with me?" Jack gasped out, disbelief in his breath. You pulled yourself together, your hands wrapping around your cold body, shoulders hunching, trying to hide yourself. Humiliation made your tears well up again, your brain was hurting and you embraced your body, bracing yourself for the inevitable rejection. "Are you serious?"
You nodded slightly before your gaze flickered back to the sky. "Listen, I–I know this is bad, especially since you like Dr. Al Hashimi and you asked her out. I am going to give in my request for a shift to days, or even out of the ED—"
"Like hell you will. Like hell I will let you."
"What?" You whispered.
"I never asked out Al."
There was a heavy pause between, as your heart stopped itself, almost as if because it couldn't hear Jack's words perfectly.
"Excuse me?"
"I never asked her out. Whatever you heard was me doing a favour for Robby."
His gaze pierced through your soul, begging you to understand what his words couldn't convery but you deflected. You didn't let yourself believe. "Still. It doesn't mean you don't want her—She's perfect. She's mature, beautiful, absolutely brilliant—"
"She's not you."
You couldn't have heard the words right. "Excuse me?" You breathed out.
He stepped closer to you, your heart threatening to pump out of your chest. You could see him clearly now, through all of your tears. His perfectly freckled face, gorgeous salt and pepper curls, his eyes filled with so much tenderness and pain it caught your breath.
"She's not you."
He titled his head slightly, gazing at you with so much adoration. He reached out, his hand so careful, feather light touch as he tucked a strand away, as an unfortunate whimper escapes your mouth. Not a moment of weakness. An indication of the longing. Longing for the same touch.
"She's not Sunny. Yes, she is intelligent, mature, brave and pretty too. But she's not you." He let out a shaky exhale before continuing.
"She's not the person who is so determined to make me laugh. She's not the one who makes the room brightened up by just being in it. She's not the one...the one who made me feel worthy of being loved again."
Your gaze flickered up at his eyes again.
"But Jack—you never," you gulped again, stopping the tears to blur up your vision again, "you never even reciprocated it. Never..." You trailed off, mindlessly flashing back to the times you put yourself down while wondering why he never flirted back. "But when—when I saw you with Dr. Al, you smiled—so freely, it hurt. W–Why did you never—"
"I was afraid." Hs cut you off. "Afraid that after I smiled for you, you w–would move on. Stop doing what you're doing. I didn't want you to stop. You were the best part of my day."
There was a pregnant pause before he added.
"Besides you made my brain malfunction."
A chortle left your mouth, a remark of disbelief. "Excuse me?"
A sly lopsided grin touched his face. "I never could give you any reaction because you stopped my brain from giving out any coherent orders to my body. My throat would become concerningly dry and I couldn't even give a reaction without making myself look like a dumbass."
You let out an unwarranted giggle. You shook your head, but behind your eyes, there was still the blinding cover of uncertainty. A cloud of doubt still stopped you. Your body was not letting yourself lean into him completely, but not pushing him back either. Reluctancy had settled over your bones.
"Jack. This is not making sense—"
"You're the first person I look for in a room." Your breath hitched. "And when you stopped looking for me...I felt empty. I was losing my mind and Robby had to knock some sense into me—and I—I was too afraid to lose you, Sunny."
He grabbed the rails around you, his arms framing around your body, his figure radiating a kind of restlessness. His fingers had gripped the metal so hard, his knuckles were turning white in frustration, as if he was holding himself back from...well, you.
A heated flush spread across your cheeks. Your eyes met his, a soul found another, the love and yearning that had been hidden behind fear finally blown out in the open.
"Why did you never tell me?" You whispered.
"I was afraid." There was a pause before he moved his body close to you, the proximity both of your hearts had been starving for. "But I realised the fear of losing you is far more than the fear of...accepting love."
Your hand slowly reached out to his face, cradling it, his stubble grazing your hands, your eyes boring into his. A shy smile broke out on your face, something eternally beautiful, he realised as his heart skipped a beat. You both leaned in, his forehead leaning against yours, as you let yourself finally be pulled into his warmth. Falling into his soul. Never leaving his heart.
"Say it for me. Please."
His gaze flickered to yours, a vulnerability shone in them as he searched your face before realisation dawned on him.
"I'm falling for you, hard."
He took a deep breathe.
"I love you, Sunny."
You opened your eyes and sighed, as if you were holding a breath for the longest time.
"One more time."
Jack's eyes never left you. Instead, they flickered to your lips. The ones he dreamed about. The ones he wanted to—
He tilted his head and went in, a brush of his lips against yours, as if asking for permission, but only a whimper came out. Soft and delicate, something that gave him the courage he needed.
You gasped as his hand grabbed at your waist, gently squeezing your pretty love handles before pulling you into him as he smashed his lips against yours. He swiftly molded his lips against yours, getting drunk on your taste. While you just melted into him, holding onto him like he was your lifeline.
Your hands travelled up from his torso to his chest to his collar, your fingers grabbing them and passionately pulling him impossibly closer. His explored your body in the way it didn't even daydream about. They hoisted you with their bulging strength, sliding from your back to your mane and back to your hips. He groaned in your mouth and you whined softly before he sucked on your lower lips.
The kiss wasn't aggressive nor was it too shy. It was the perfect amount for two lost people finding themselves again. For the two people who had been too afraid to grab the love right in front of them. Two people who were stunningly starved for each other's touch. Two souls who had finally found each other.
You slowly whined as both of you pulled back for air and he smiled against your lips.
"Look, who's smiling now." You teased gently. You played with his curls, reveling in this feeling, the giddiness consumed your body, and the anxious buzz in your muscles had disappeared because he was here. Holding you. Loving you.
He chuckled wholeheartedly. He softly pecked your lips. "Only because of you, Sunny."
—
The elevator dinged open.
The sight could heal all longing hearts. And it did.
"Oh my god." Santos whispered.
Everybody at the nurse station looked at her, puzzled at her widened eyes. That was until they followed her eye sight.
There you were.
Not alone.
Jack and you appeared, fingers intertwined, shy smiles on both faces, but the satisfaction and love glowed on both of you, unsubtly. Plus, your lips were chapped.
Crus crossed his arms over his chest, "Fucking finally."
Robby cheered with Shen. Dana and Lena said something on the lines of 'took you long enough', as Princess and Perlah looked kind of disappointed, but for a different reason.
"I fucking won!" Ellis beamed.
Everyone groaned.
You both just grinned at each other. Jack, finally happy, because he faced his fears, and finally reached for the warmth and love that was always there. Because he got his girl. His Sunny.
And you? Well because you finally realised that the man you loved also looked for you before even entering a room.
That was love.
In a room full of people, I look for you.
—sombr.
AHHHH FINALLY DONE WITH THIS.
I love you guys so much for the love you gave me and sunny <3
Having parents that are both doctors has it perks- basically free check ups without ever stepping foot in the hospital. Two people to ask unlimited medical questions to and won’t get “you’re on the brink of death” answers like Web MD tends to give out. Another bonus is you have a family that chooses you, no blood obligations, just people who genuinely love you because they love your parents.
What’s not great about having parents that are both doctors is that they work in the same hospital and are separated. Your mom, Lucy, was the chief of OB and your father, Robby, was the chief of the ED. Two very capable and successful doctors who work decently together and are great friends who successfully raised their daughter. Their main issue is their bickering, but for you, they try to be good and they are, for the most part.
You mainly stayed with your mom because your dad was well, your dad. You loved him dearly, but he’s a complicated man- not very in touch with his feelings or even how to express or manage them. He struggled and in turn struggled with his relationship with you. You never knew where you stood with him, sure you know he loves you, but is that it? When you stayed at his house, it never felt like a home and honestly you don’t know much about him. He never talks about his past or anything. You know nothing of his traditions because he never cared enough to pass them along. You’ve offered to go to the synagogue with him when he does go, but he always tells you it’s something he likes to do on his own. So to say your relationship with him is complicated is an understatement.
But the better part of your father (as your mom always called him) Jack, was basically your best friend. You can always remember looking for him at any barbecue or get together your parents would throw. Apparently your first word was Jack and he was the only one who could soothe you when you would get super hysterical. When you were little, you would rope him into playing dolls with you or dress up. Robby has several pictures of Jack wearing makeup and tutus.
But to Jack you were his little girl, his bug because he and Lottie couldn’t have kids- it was a combination of Jack being sterile and Lottie having her own health issues. So, they became your second parents and they took you on trips all the time and treated you just as they would their own. Every dance recital, science fair, graduation, or whatever, four people were always there to cheer you on.
Even when life turned really dark for Jack, he never let you see that side of him. He still showed up, still took you fishing, still was your sounding board when you were bouncing ideas off him of where you wanted to go to college. He still accompanied college tours with you and Robby, or even himself when your dad couldn’t get the day off (or didn’t want the day off). He was your shoulder to cry on when Lottie passed and you were heart broken, even when his own heart was shattered, he held you tight and told you it would be okay even when he didn’t believe it himself because after all, someone had to be strong for you.
……………………………………………………………………
Walking into the ER when you have an actual injury is vastly different than when you’re just here to visit. You were making dinner and was chopping some potatoes when your dog barked and scared you and the knife slipped and cut yourself. You did everything your dad and Jack had taught you, but the bleeding wouldn’t stop, which meant you probably needed stitches. When you looked at the clock, you were relieved to see it was after shift change, so that meant that hopefully your dad was gone and if you were super lucky, Jack was busy.
“Whatcha doing here?” A thick accent brought your attention forward and you see Dana peering at you over her glasses.
“Oh just came to say hi” you said sheepishly and she just hummed disapproving
“You came to say hi?” -She asked you nodded-“ with a towel soaked through with blood wrapped around your hand?” And you looked down to see that the towel did indeed soak through
“Just trying out a new fashion trend” you try to joke and she scoffs and shakes her head with a smile and comes around the desk and wraps an arm around your shoulder and starts to lead you to a room.
“Don’t worry they’re both in a trauma and probably will be for a while” she whispers and starts jerking her head around looking for someone until she spots someone “Shen! Need you for a second!” She hollers as she opens the curtain and tells you to sit on the bed.
She starts getting some supplies together when Shen opens the curtain and offers you a smile.
“What can I do you and little Robinavitch for?” Shen asked and you rolled your eyes because you hate being called that.
“Came in to say hi” Dana rolled her eyes and you gave Shen a sheepish smile
“With a bloody towel?” He asked and Dana gave you a look of “I told you so” and now you roll your eyes
“Can you help me so I can leave before my dad or Jack sees me and makes this a much bigger deal?” You ask and they both laugh.
“You can go Dana I got this” Shen said as he went over to the sink to wash his hands.
“Alright hun, John will take care of you. If I don’t see you before you leave. Good luck and I hope you avoid Abbot” she tells you as she gives you a big bear hug.
When she left, John was finishing drying his hands and grabbed a pair of gloves before he sat down in the rolling chair in front of you. He gently placed your hand on the small table between you two and slowly peeled away the towel away from your skin and let out a low whistle.
“That’s a deep one” -he said and glanced up at you- “how did this happen?”
“My fucker of a dog. I was in the middle of cooking dinner and it was quiet, so when he barked it made me jump and the knife slipped. I did everything dad and Jack taught me to stop the bleed, but it wouldn’t stop. So I figured I would come in” you explained to him while he tried to gently clean the area. Apologizing when you would hiss
“Snoopy is innocent, a sweet baby” John said and you scoffed
“You only say that because he loves you” you replied.
“The dog has good taste” John says smirking and you roll your eyes
“What were you making?”
“Mashed potatoes” you tell him and he gives you a disapproving look
“Just potatoes?”
“We had a huge lunch, I wasn’t super hungry” you reasoned.
“Alright, I’ll give you that” he says as he gets to work stitching you up.
John and you have been dating for about four months. The only people that knew was your mom. You were positive Jack would be supportive, but with John being on his shift, he didn’t want to chance it right off the bat and you can’t blame him. As for your father, you’re not completely sure how he would react, but honestly didn’t care.
As you watch John, you can’t help but admire how cute he is. The way his long fingers sew your skin back together. His dark hair is getting a tad bit long falling slightly onto his forehead. The way his eyebrows pinch together in concentration.
“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep scowling like that” you tell him and he smiles softly
“I’m just trying not to be careful and not scar you” and you shrug your shoulders in indifference.
You ask John about his night so far even though he just clocked in and he told you that he already dealt with some ignorant people who basically blame John for Covid because of how he looks. You roll your eyes, but John doesn’t seem as effected by it.
“I started my residency here when Covid first happened. You can only imagine the racist slurs that got thrown at me on the daily. I’m pretty immune to it now. I mean it still bothers me, but I learned to let it roll it off me” he tells you as he ties your stitches
“Still I hate you have to deal with that shit” you tell him
“Ehh it’s part of the job. But getting to treat cute patients is what gets me through” he jokes
“I hope you don’t talk to all of your cute patients like this” you say as you stand up
“Only the ones who have a cute dog and I get to kiss and sleep in their bed” John says as he steps closer to you.
“Oh yeah?” You smile up at him and he nods with a soft “oh yeah” and leans down to press a quick and gentle kiss to your lips. While you hoped for more, you were glad it didn’t happen because the curtain ripped open and standing there was your dad and Jack.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Robby asked
“I cut myself pretty bad and couldn’t get the bleeding to stop at home. So I came in” you said
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jack asked a lot more gently which cause him a glare by Robby
“I didnt want this to happen. You two always freak out. John stitched me up and I’m fine. Mom’s even going to drive me home” you said
“You walked here?!” Both men asked at the same time
“Well I wasn’t going to drive the three blocks. I was fine!” You added
“Still could had said something one of us could had help” Robby said
“Well Shen is more than capable,” Jack said, eyeing us suspiciously as we are still standing too close, but doesn’t say anything.
“I know you are Shen. But y/n you should had found me” he tried to reason and you rolled your eyes turning towards John
“Am I all set?”
“Uh yeah- just have to discharge you. You wait in here or out at the hub” he said awkwardly.
You nod and make your way to the hub where your mom is waiting. You approach her and she sets hers phone down and smiles at you
“Hey baby how are you feeling?” She asks but before you can respond Robby is hot on your tail
“Lucy, you knew she came in but didn’t say anything?”
“Jesus Michael, she's an adult. She doesn’t have to report to you” your mom rolled her eyes
“Yeah I still want a heads up if my daughter is in my ED” he said
“Our daughter and if anything was serious, I’m sure they would have found you immediately” she reasoned and your dad let out an exasperated sigh and sat (more like threw) himself down in a chair
“Always so dramatic” your mom mutters, causing you to laugh.
Jack comes up beside you and bumps shoulders with you and whispers “Shen, really?” And when you look at him he is smiling at you.
You shrug and whisper back “he’s a good one. I really like him” and Jack nods.
“Jack, have you given any consideration to what I asked” your mom asked him
“I don’t know if it’s the right time Lucy” he said
“What?” You asked
“I’m trying to get Jack back out there” your mom said and you lit up
“Oh Uncle Jack you should! Aunt Lottie wouldn’t want you going around life depressed” you tell him and he laughs a little
“It’s true Jack” Robby agrees and that is a first as of lately for him to agree with your mom.
“Well Jesus Christ if Robby agrees, then maybe I should” Jack says in agreement.
John came to join the group and to give you discharge instructions, which of course your dad is reiterating everything John is saying, but you’re choosing to ignore him and focus solely on John.
When he was done, Robby was insistent on walking you outside and just to reexplain everything John told you. Your mom, Jack, and John all watched the two of you leave before Jack turns to the small group.
“I’m assuming Robby has no idea you two are dating?” He asked and John flushes and your mom smiles
“He does not and y/n want to keep it that way Jack until she’s ready” you mom warns him and Jack held up his hands
“How he doesn’t know is beyond me. You two aren’t slick” he tells John
“Well we hid it from you for four months” John laughs and Jack looks at him is disbelief
“Four months?!” He asks
John and your mom laugh as Jack tries to figure out he missed the signs of you two dating. There have been several team outings, cookouts, and you coming to visit the hospital that he’s not sure how he missed it.
Your mom shakes her head as she makes her way to the exit as Jack begins interrogating John and his intentions with her and Robby’s daughter. She walks outside to Robby still instilling the importance of keeping your stitches clean and you very clearly zoning him out.
When will this man ever learn, he can’t pick and choose when he wants to be a father. That even though you are an adult, that you still remember all the times he didn’t step up to the plate for you and that it was Jack.
With a sigh she asks if you are ready to go and you two bid a good night to Robby and your mom drives you home.
Summary: Reader wants to try something new with Jack in the shower.
Warnings: smut, rimming and blow job, swearing, cum swallowing, I think that’s it?
……………………………………………………………………
Rainy days have always been your favorite. Something about the cool air, and the calmness it brings. Currently you are in Jack’s recliner, the windows in the house are open bringing in a cool draft, for once in the past few weeks, you are able to have your AC off. Your dog is curled up in between your legs snoring, and you both are covered in your softest blanket.
You are in your own world, peacefully reading your book with no care in the world. You have a load going in the washer of Jack and your clothes and you have Jack’s favorite dinner roasting in the oven. A perfect way to spend your Sunday and combat the dreaded Sunday scaries.
“Well you two look comfy” Jack’s voice makes you jump. You look up at him and blink confused why he was standing in your living room and playing pickleball with Shen.
“What are you doing here?” You asked and Jack smiles
“Last time I checked, I lived here too” he joked and you roll your eyes as he sat on the couch closer to you. Your dog finally waking from their nap notices Jack home and jumps off the chair and stretches before greeting Jack.
“Oh that was a big stretch buddy” Jack said while scratching the dogs head- “keeping momma company while she reads?” He asked and the dog barks
“John and I played a few rounds and then got lunch. I’ve been gone most of the day baby” Jack smiles at you as he leaned back on the couch
“I guess you have been. I didn’t realize the time” you said as you held up your book to prove a point to Jack.
“Whatcha reading?” He asked you
“A retelling of Phantom of the Opera. A sexy version” you said and he quietly laughs
“Should of guessed it was smut”
“Don’t judge” you said smiling and he held his hands up in mock surrender.
You two sat in silence for a bit longer as you went back to reading and Jack played with Buddy. These are the days that you lived for, just peace and quiet with Jack. Days where he’s not rushing off to the hospital or you two are just missing each other in passing as you are coming home from work and he’s just going in.
“I’m going to go shower. Want to join?” He asked you
“Dr. Abbot the day I answer no to that, is the day you might want to have me committed because I’ve clearly lost my mind” you laughed as you placed your bookmark in and shut your book. You reach your hand out to Jack who rolled his eyes and helped you up out of the chair.
……………………………………………………………………
You are washing Jack’s hair with his hands on your hips absentmindedly rubbing circles on your skin. He was telling you about his game of pickleball and his day as a whole. You are trying your best to listen to him, but it’s kind of hard when you can feel Jack’s very obvious erection rubbing against your thighs. You tip Jack’s head back into the water stream and as he is rinsing out the conditioner, you can’t help but look at him. Sitting there in his full glory, looking like a character out of one of your books.
“Like what you see baby?” His voice once again cuts you out of your own little world. You smile, but don’t answer him as you kneel onto the floor and softly grasp his very hard cock in your hand. Jack gasp as you very gently give him a little squeeze.
“You don’t have to baby-“ he starts to say. But is cut off as you bring the tip of his penis towards you and licked the bead of precum off and hum
“Oh but I want to” -you say as you continue slowly stroking Jack- “is that okay?” You flashed him your best puppy dog eyes and he groans
“Of course it is” he says as he leans back in his chair a little and spreads his legs a bit more. You smile up at him and readjust yourself so that you are closer to him and begin to press little kisses along his thighs while keeping a slowly steady rhythm of stroking him.
“Don’t tease me y/n” he groans as he throws his head back as you bite lightly on his thigh. Deciding you don’t want to tease him because you want to taste him, you give him no warning as you engulf his penis. Jack’s hands fly to your wet hair- he doesn’t pull or push, just keeps them there to ground himself.
You take Jack all the way down your throat with success and bring your head all the way back up to his tip where you expertly twirl your tongue around his mushroom top. You repeat this a couple times before you set a steady pace that you know Jack loves. Everytime you move down, you take him just a little bit further down your throat causing Jack’s thighs to tighten with pleasure.
Your nose is tickled by the greying hair that surrounds his base and you can’t help but inhale his scent. You bring one of your hands up to cup Jack’s balls and softly massage them in your hand as you continue to bob your head.
“Jesus fuck baby” Jack moans above you and as you look up, you see that Jack’s head is thrown back and his eyebrows are scrunched together as if he’s willing himself not to come right then and there. A wild idea pops into your head as you pull yourself off Jack and gasp for some air.
“I want to try something” -you say as you stroke him in the absence of your mouth- “do you trust me?”
“Of course I do. What do you want to try?” He gasps as he tries to steady his breathing. You rub your other hand along his inner thigh and slowly push his one leg further out. Jack seemed to understand what you were asking and spread his legs even more, so now he is barely on the seat and legs are as spread as they can be sitting in a shower chair. This angle gives you an opportunity to see all of Jack Abbot.
“What did you want to try?” He asks again, sounding a bit inpatient.
“Can I rim you?” You asked and he stutters
“What?” He asks and looks at you with slightly wide eyes, but the way his penis twitches in your grasp, tells you he is not completely turned off by the idea.
“I don’t want to sound so nasty, but can I eat your ass Jack?” You say
“I know what rimming means”- he sassed-“I just didn’t expect my sweet girl to ask me that” he said
“So…” you trail off as your eyes trail across Jack’s body
“Go for it baby” he smiles at you and you grin up at him.
Jack sighs as he leans over and turns off the water that has now run cold and when he settles back down, he spreads his legs again for you.
You smile once more up at Jack and tell him to replace your hand that is jerking him off. He happily does so as you both rub up his thighs and lightly spread his globes. It’s unfair how Jack was blessed with such a dump truck, but you're not complaining at the moment. If there’s anything you love, it’s touching and rubbing Jack’s ass. So it can’t really be a surprise that you asked him if you can do this.
Once you have Jack spread open for you, you take your thumb and lightly trace his tight hole and cause him to moan softly. Then without waiting, you lean forward and lick it. You trace your tongue along the ridge ring and ever so slightly dip your tongue into his tight hole. Jack groans above you and picks up the pace of his hand. That is all the encouragement you needed to push Jack back just a bit more and fully dig in.
You’ve always wanted to do this to Jack, but were unsure how to bring it up. Jack hasn’t had many partners in his life and honestly from what he told you and what you experienced with Jack, he was pretty vanilla. You opened him up to a lot of new things and now that you two are living together, the more adventurous he is willing to be.
Jack didn’t think he be so into this, but seeing you on your knees, face buried in his ass he is seconds away from coming. The feeling of your wet tongue probing him is starting to make him spiral and he picks up the pace of his hands.
“Fuck y/n I’m gonna come!” He announces and he swears he can feel you smile against him. You pick up your head and replace his hand with your mouth so that you are engulfing him again. And just as he is about to cross the finishing line, your thumb finds its place on his hole and you slowly add pressure. Jack is coming on the spot and you are swallowing everything he gives you.
You jerk him off a couple more times as he comes down from his high and once he was completely empty, did you lift your head away from him and wipe your chin.
“How was that?” You asked him and he lazily smiled at you
“Fucking perfect. I wouldn’t mind doing that again” he says and you grin
“Good! We can train you for me to peg you!” You say happily as you stand up with a groan and open the shower door.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves darling” Jack says as he catches the towel you throw at him and places his crutches next to the shower door.
“Oh please Jackie, you’d try anything I would ask you to” you smile sweetly at you and he sighs with a smirk because you are right. You say “jump” and Jack always asks “how high?”
Summary: the aftermath of the reader ending it with Jack. Multiple pov’s and two small time jumps.
Author note: i wrote and rewrote this so many times- i really hope this turned out good and meets everyone’s expectations 😅😅
Also I hope the Taglist worked- first time really doing one!
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Samira’s POV
The three of us watched y/n leave. It was silent, Jack was still standing where she left him and Robby was staring at the ground. No didn’t move or say anything for what felt like 30 minutes, but what was more than likely only a few minutes until Robby spoke up.
“Well that was all very dramatic”- he said groaning as he stood up- “I think she just showed you her true colors Brother and you dodge a bullet” he finished with a light chuckle
“It wasn’t dramatic” -I said standing up myself and Robby turned towards me eyebrows raised as if he forgot I was here- “everything she said was true. You two treat her like shit. I don’t know how many times she has cried to Santos and I that Jack thinks she dumb and all she was to him is just good sex. Or when she would be thrilled to tell us about their little dates and weekend getaways and how Jack has this amazing ability to make her feel like she’s the only person in the world, until they had to come back to reality. The reality is that she believes Jack is ashamed of her because she isn’t in the medical field or that he views her as just a young girl with no world experience.” I say and this time Jack turns to me, not mad or angry, but hurt as if he knows everything I am saying is true.
“She lives in a reality where Jack constantly picks his friend over her and never stands up for her. A reality where y/n doesn’t feel welcomed to come and hang out with us even though she was friends with most of us before Jack came into the picture. The reality of her realationship is pretty fucked up and I’m sorry Dr. Abbot, but I’m glad she finally stood up for herself. She doesn’t deserve to deal with what you put her through everyday. She deserves to be with someone who respects her and values her. Someone who stands up for her when his friends are constantly cutting her down” I said as I grabbed my bag
“I hope you take this time to reflect on what you just lost” I tell Jack quietly and he just nods.
I refused to look at Robby because I know if I did, I would say things that I couldn’t take back and he could possibly make my shifts pure hell.
……………………………………………………………………
Jack’s POV
Everything is eerie silent as I stare at the spot Samira was just standing. Everything y/n and she said are completely right. I’m a fucking ass and I always knew it, but hearing y/n finally voice it makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already do.
I defend Robby too much. I cater to him and his feelings too much and his negativity has officially started to run into my life. Ruth would be so pissed at me if she knew how I treated y/n.
“Is it a full moon or something? Or did all their periods sync up?” Robby laughed quietly to himself and I snapped my head to him and he looked at me confused
“Are you serious? We both just got called out for being fucking dicks and you’re still going to be one?” I asked
“Woah, take it easy Jack-“ he starts but I cut him off
“No, I will not take it easy. I just had to watch the girl I love walk out because of you” I said
“That’s not on me buddy. You could have shut me down, but you laughed and you kept quiet” Robby said and sighed because he was right
“Just get out” I said
“Really all over a girl?”
“Yes, all over a girl I love. Just get out Robby. It’s been a long night and I’m tired” I said
“Whatever” he said as he stormed out of the yard. I can hear his motorcycle start up and roar down the road.
I plop myself back into my chair and stare up at the clear dark sky wondering if I have a chance in hell to make it up to you.
……………………………………………………………………
Trinity POV
I woke with a blazing headache- probably shouldn’t have drank all those cheap wine coolers, thank god I don’t have to work today.
Groaning, I roll over and grab my phone and see that I have several messages from Mohan. Intrigued, I opened up our thread and I read the messages and instantly sat up in bed. Y/n broke up with Jack?! And sounds of it she went off on Robby and Jack and read them the riot act, fuck I missed it. I get out of bed to use the restroom and to try calling y/n, but it goes right to voicemail.
As thrilled as I am she called it off, I want to be there for her. I know it was a hard decision as she truly loved Jack for whatever reason. So, I make my way out of the bathroom and back to my room where Garcia is still sleeping, I gently nudge her awake
“Hey Yoyo, I gotta step out and see y/n. She broke up with Jack last night” I tell her and she groans
“Okay give me a minute and I’ll get dressed and leave”
“Umm you don’t have to rush. Take your time, just lock up before you go” I tell her as I pull my pants up and she responds with what sounds like “okay” but I’m not entirely sure.
……………………………………………………………………
I pull up to y/n’s apartment and let myself in with my spare key. Taco, her orange cat that we found outside of a Taco Bell on one of our drunk adventures, greeted me at the door and I bent down and picked him up. We walked to y/n bedroom where she’s curled up in a ball facing away from me. Sighing I plopped Taco on the bed and crawled in behind y/n and spooned her.
She stirred a little and when she started to come to her senses she jumped and turned her head to see me and I smiled at her and she relaxed.
“What are you doing here Trin? I thought you went home with Yo-Yo last night” she said as she rested her hand over mine
“What can I say hoes before, well hoes” I say and she laughs
“Seriously I came to check in on you. Samira told me what happened. I’m a little upset I had to hear it from her and not you though” I said honestly and y/n sighed and turned herself over so we are facing each other.
“I was going to call you today. I didn’t want to ruin your night” she whispered
“Don’t do that. Not with me please” -I say and she gives me a questioning look- “don’t act like you aren't important, especially to me. If you are going through hell, you call. You never have to do it alone. I’m glad Samira was there for you, but I hate that you came home and cried yourself to sleep” I say
“I didn’t-“ she starts, but I cut her off
“You did, I can tell, you’re eyes are puffy and you got a severe case of eye boogies” I said and she cracked a small smile
“You got a way with words Dr. Santos” y/n laughed and I hummed
“Want to tell me about it?” And y/n knows me well enough by now that she knows it is not a question.
So we lay in her bed, facing each other holding hands as she recounts the night. She tells me what she said to both Robby and Jack and I could not be more proud of her. I know she has had all those feelings bottled up inside for so long and it finally boiled over. When she finished talking she had fresh tears streaming down her face and I did my best to wipe them.
“Y/n you are amazing. I know it took a lot of courage to stand up to someone you love, but you did it. You put yourself first. I am so proud of you” I tell her
“I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel good” she gave a wet chuckle
“What are you going to do now?” I asked her
“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think I want to put myself back in that relationship- Jack is a good man, but he has to work on that. I can’t be second best and I definitely cannot take a backseat to Robby” she said
“You gotta know your worth. But you don’t have to have it all figured out. How about you go shower and clean up, and we go have a girls day?” I tell her and she smiles
“Retail therapy wouldn’t make me feel worse” she laughs as she rolls out of bed and makes her way into her shower.
I stay in bed and play on my phone when I hear a knock on her door. I get up and make my way back towards the front of her apartment and open the door to see Jack. He looks shocked to see me and clears his throat.
“Can I come in?” He asks
“She’s in the shower and I highly doubt she wants to see you right now.” I tell him and he nods, but doesn’t make an effort to move. So against my better judgment I let him in.
We stand in the entryway hallway together and I give him my best bitch look.
“I assume you already heard?” He says
“Yup. But I also already knew you weren’t good enough for her” I tell him and he nods and hangs his head.
“You’re right I’m not. There’s not enough time in the world for me to apologize for the way I been treating her” he says and I scoff
“Maybe not enough time for you. Y/n young and beautiful, she’ll move on if that’s what she chooses. Which is what I think she should do, but it’s not up to me”
“I agree. I’m too old and too fucked up for her-“ he starts
“Oh cut the bullshit on the damage goods speech. You fucked up Jack and have no one else but yourself to blame. You let Robby treat her like shit and you’ve done nothing but treat her the same. Grant it you might have not been as obvious as Robby, but you act ashamed of her. And I don’t know why. You are an old man and should have cherished that a young, beautiful person like y/n even wanted to breathe the same air as you.” I tell him
“You’re right” - he says and turns back toward the door- “can you just tell her I’m sorry and I want to talk whenever she’s ready?” He asks and I nod as he opens the door and leaves.
Sighing I turn to start making my way towards the bedroom and I see y/n standing in the doorway.
“He didn’t even fight to see me?”- She whispered- “he just let you bitch him out and left” she said
“Y/n I’m sorry for overstepping I just couldn’t bite my tongue anymore-“ I start
“No. Thank you Trin, this just confirmed everything for me” she said and she offered me a weak, small smile.
……………………………………………………………………
4 month time jump
Y/n pov
Everyday gets a little bit better, you simply do not have anymore tears for Jack Abbot. After he stopped by the apartment and spoke to Trinity, he did not try to reach out again and you didn’t reach out either. If you're not worth fighting for, then he’s not worth your energy you decided.
You had the support of the girls and Dennis and they never once made you feel like an inconvenience or like you were dumb. They simply made you feel like you were one of them. You had mutual discussions on your work days and as much you hyped them up on their long days, they did the same. They never once made you feel inferior because you had a degree in business administration and not medicine.
It was around month 3 of the breakup when you began to entertain the idea of dating again and of course you were encouraged by your group. So you guys made a deal that at least once every two weeks you guys go out to your favorite bar and do something fun. And this week was no different and to make things more fun, they invited some more work friends, which you were more than okay with. Tonight’s outing ended up including: you, Trinity, Samira, Vicky, Parker, Emery, Princess, Jesse, Mel, Langdon, Donnie, a couple of your work friends, and one Dr. John Shen.
“If y’all are here, who’s working at the hospital?” You giggled already feeling a bit free from the pregame shot Samira gave you.
“They finally started hiring more people, so we can have social lives!” Princess declared and she downed her shot with Jesse
Your group was divided into three groups and your team had Shen, Emery, Mel, Langdon, Donnie, and Samira. You guys are at the round table and you are crammed between Shen and Samira.
“Are any of you good at trivia?” Emery asked in a serious tone as she prepared the white board
“Y/n is really good! She dominates almost every time” Samira says and you feel your face warm- unsure if it’s because of the compliment, the booze, or the fact that John currently has his arm behind your chair and you can smell his deodorant or cologne.
“Not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty good with useless facts” you chuckle
“Honk your horn girl!” John says as he takes a swig of his drink.
Before you can ask him if he’s okay, Emery gets down to business, she makes sure everyone knows the rules and if they’re just going to suggest stupid answer (she looks right at John) then they should just keep quiet. You didn’t realize how serious she would take this, but damn if she doesn’t look hot taking charge.
As the night progressed, so did the drinks and the points. Your team is absolutely obliterating the other teams and often Trinity would fake shout that we were cheating. Every time you would get an answer right (which was often) John would pat or shoulder and say good job before he quickly rested it back in your chair.
You would try to sneak glances at him, but every time that you did, you would realize that John was already staring at you. Normally you would look away, but not with John. No, you held his eyes before he would smirk and look away which caused you to smile.
Then on your right side, Samira would smirk already knowing. Unknown to you, this was the group's plan. Parker fell in love with you when she met you and deemed you were perfect and felt horrible when she heard what happened between Jack and you. As the months went on and it was clear that it was over between you two, she reached out to the day shifters and started planning. She was John’s wingwoman and she was tired of seeing his good nature and his kind heart being broken by women who wanted what they deemed a “real man” , whatever the hell that meant. So for the last month and half, the girls and Dennis planned. Which got us to tonight.
……………………………………………………………………
In the end team “Surgeons are the best” won by a landslide. Thanks to Emery and her running this team like the Navy. But even if you didn’t win, you wouldn’t had cared, because you had fun. The group is all kind of mingling, but you decided to stay at the table a bit longer and people watch, John said he would stay with you so that you didn’t have to be alone.
“How do you know so much trivia?” He asked you
“Oh- jeopardy” you laughed- “I grew up watching it with my grandparents and I still watch it almost every night” you said and John smile
“That makes sense. Well I’m glad Alex Trebek trained you good” he said and you laughed
“May he rest in peace” you said as you raised your drink and John smiled as he did the same
“So what made you want to come out? I don’t normally see you out and about” you asked
“Parker all but threatened me. But since I’ll be moving to the day shift, Parker said I needed to bond with the team more and learn how to have fun at night” he said
“That makes sense. Well congrats on the shift change” you said
“Thank you!” -he beamed. God John has a beautiful smile-“beside she also told me that there would be a really pretty girl I could talk to if I came” he said as his smirk depended
“Well I hope you got to talk to her” you said and smiled and turned your body so you were facing John more. Feeling so confident he was referring to you and you were right, you were going to kiss him right here (if he wanted you to of course).
“Oh I did. I also got to see her fucking crush it at trivia” he said as he leaned in ever so close
“I bet that this really pretty girl liked showing you she crushes trivia night” you whispered as you leaned slightly closer
“Yeah? What else would the really pretty girl like?” He asked
“To kiss you” you replied and he didn’t respond. He grabbed your face and pulled you closer to him. As corny as it is, when John kissed you, it was like everything else in the world went quiet, as if it were only you two in this crowded bar.
The kiss wasn’t rushed nor was it slow and gentle. It was a perfect combination of hot, heavy, and romantic in a way. You’re not sure how long you and John were kissing until a clearing of a throat broke you apart. You turned to see Trinity and Parker standing at the table with the biggest smirks on their faces.
“Is this how you two celebrate your trivia win?” Trin asked. You were too blissed out to hear Parker sarcastic comment as you rested your head on John’s shoulder. As you do, you realize for the first time in almost four months that Jack Abbot didn’t cross your mind.
……………………………………………………………………
Waking up felt refreshing for once. It could be that to your left is an incredibly attractive man laying in your bed. You can’t believe John slept over, now you didn’t have sex, claiming you both were too drunk, but you did messily make out like teenagers. And if you happened to feel what John was packing along the way, well that’s just for you to keep a memory of for now.
Sighing you roll on your side facing John and watch as the morning sunlight trickles in through the gaps of your curtains. The morning light gently highlights the slight stubble John has growing and up close, you can see the little blemishes he has. You are contentedly watching John and don’t realize that he starts stirring until he speaks up.
“You always watch people sleep?” He has a lazy smile on his face, but his eyes are still closed.
“Only the really handsome ones that I bring home from the bar” you tell him and you bring a hand up to his face and softly trace his face as his eyes slowly flutter open
“Do you do that often?” He asks
“Nope. You’d be the first” you tell him honestly and his smile deepens as he nudges his head deeper into your hand.
You two stay like that for a bit until your bedroom door gets push open and you hear a meow before a big tabby cat jumps on the bed.
“Good morning Taco” you smiled at the cat as he laid down between you two and nudged John’s hand for some pets.
“Well aren’t you a cutie” he says and you tell him the story of how Trinity and you found him in a Taco Bell parking lot while you guys were fulfilling your drunk cravings.
“I love him already” John laughed as Taco began making biscuits on his arm. You smiled watching the scene.
“What do you say we go get some coffee and a big greasy breakfast to get a jump on the looming hangover?” You asked John
“I’d say you know your way to my heart already” he joked and you laughed as you both rolled out of bed and got somewhat presentable to head to the diner that’s just up the road from your apartment.
Unknown to either of you, this impromptu breakfast date would lead to several other dates and so much more.
……………………………………………………………………
Another 4 month time jump (8 months total)
Y/n pov
You are the happiest you’ve been in a while, a relationship with John is easy and fun. You weren’t expecting to fall in love with another doctor let alone Jack’s coworker, but ever since trivia night, you two were almost inseparable.
It’s so different with John. He finds the time to text you quick updates throughout the day even if it is a quick text. He makes you feel valued and spending time with you is important. Yes, he still puts his all into his job, but he has boundaries, he doesn’t have a police scanner he listens to and he definitely doesn't run off to the hospital for every car accident that happens. Of course he still goes in for the big pile ups or when he is called in, but he always makes sure you are okay first. He never once gave you the “you knew what you were getting into when you started dating me” line.
One difference is John cares and he listens. He asks about your day and never makes silly little comments about how easy your job is. Instead he gets in on the drama and loves when you share your work tea and by now he met most of your coworkers, so he knows who is who. And he loves telling you about his day. He never once made you feel dumb when you asked him questions about his job. In fact John loves that you two are in two different fields because you both teach each other things all the time, he likes hearing about the different federal laws employers have to follow and he likes telling you hospital drama and getting your HR insight on it. And if he happens to bring anatomy lessons into the bedroom, well that’s just between you two.
The biggest difference is John isn’t ashamed of you. In fact he is quite the opposite, he brags you up to his friends and when you are out with the team, he makes sure you are included in the conversations. You recently went to a medical gala with him that Robby and Jack forced him to attend and John made sure everyone there knew who you were. He held your hand the entire time and told people about you, he made you feel like you belonged.
In the time you spent with John, your friends also noticed a difference. Trinity made comments on how confident you are and how sure of yourself you are. Never in the span of your friendship has she ever openly complimented a man, but you swear with John she was close to saying thank you. Thank you for being my friend back from the dead. Thank you for breathing life into her again and showing her she is capable of being loved without limits. Of course, she would never be caught saying those words, but everyone knows she means it.
……………………………………………………………………
Unfortunately, you can’t live in the glory forever and you’ll have to see Jack again. Dana invited you to a cookout where you know both Robby and Jack will be and you can’t help but feel nervous. It’s been over 8 months of silence from Jack. Not once did he try to reach out after he stopped by and he spoke to Trinity. He just went silent and apparently moved on like you didn't even exist.
“We don’t have to go” John says as he wraps his arms around your waist and looks at you in the mirror
“We do. Dana would murder us. She said I avoided team outings long enough and that we have nothing to hide” you tell him as you turn around in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck
“She’s right we don’t. I just want you to be happy” he says as he leans down and presses a kiss to your lips. You can taste the ice coffee he’s been drinking
“I’m happy with you. Is it going to be weird seeing Jack? Sure. But it’ll be a chapter that is closed once and for all” you tell him and he smiles
……………………………………………………………………
The party is in full swing when John and you arrive. Trinity, Dennis, and the girls are already there and all cheer when they see you and John walk in. You both smile and John takes the dish you were carrying and tells you to go see them and he will bring you a drink, but before he leaves, he presses a quick kiss to your lips that leave you blushing. You walk over to the group who have been clearly drinking and give them all hugs as if you just didn’t see them the other day.
“You look stunning!” Samira tells you and you giggle at how carefree she looks right now
“How long have you guys been here?” You asked
“About 3 hours. Dana told us if we help her set up, she’ll pay us in booze and she’s a woman of her word” Trinity said
“She’s an amazing woman” you corrected and you felt a cold hand on your shoulder and turn and see Dana grinning
“Sorry didn’t want to interrupt all my compliments” she smiled and you turn to give her a proper hug
“It’s good to see you hun. I’ve missed you!” She said
“I missed you. Sorry I haven’t been around much” you said and she waved you off
“I get it, trust me. Those men act like children sometimes, but I’m really happy you’re with John. He’s a good one” she said as you both turn to see John talking animatedly with Dana’s husband, Mark.
“Yeah he is” you smiled
Dana stood and talked with you guys for a bit before Mark announced the food was ready. You walked over to John and said that you are going to use the restroom real fast and like the sweetheart he is, he said he would make you plate and get you two a good seat.
When you finished up in the bathroom, you weren’t paying much attention and ran right into someone in the hallway on your way back to the kitchen.
“Woah easy- y/n?” You look up and it’s Jack who had helped balanced you
“Hey Jack- sorry, I wasn’t paying attention” you tell him
“It’s alright. You here with the girls or…” he trails off
“With John” you tell him and he nods
“So the rumors are true” he said sadly and you weren’t sure how to respond
“It wasn’t intentional. He just came to one outing and we just clicked” you told him and he cuts a harsh glance at you
“Just clicked? That fast?” He asked almost accusingly
“That fast? Jack I didn’t see him until 4 months after we broke up. 4 months of silence from you-“
“I stopped by your place” he cut you off
“Yeah and after you spoke to Trinity, you didn’t fight to talk to me. You just gave up. Just like our entire relationship, you didn’t fight for me” you said and he looked wounded.
“What’s that supposed to mean? I love you” he said
“Yeah it was always on your terms though. Jack you were ashamed of me, you hated spending any time with me or any time outside of that damn hospital. Every chance you got whether it was intentional or not, you made me feel worthless and insecure, like I could never measure up to you. You never spoke to me like I was an equal, and when I would ask questions you would make jokes like I’m dumb. And the worst offense is you let Robby treat me like shit from day one.” you tell him
“And with John it’s so much better?” He asked
“Yes. John loves me for me. Never once have I questioned my worth with him. Just recently I went to the medical gala with him and John introduced me to Jack, he bragged about me and my accomplishments at work. He never was implying I should just stand there and look pretty and speak only when spoken to” you said referring to the time you went with Jack and he told you that these things are a drag and that you were so beautiful that you would distract him from the pain of brown nosing the investors. He said most of these higher ups probably won’t really care who you are because you’re not a doctor or anything, so just basically stand there and look pretty.
“I never said that” he told you
“No, but you implied it” you said- “but when John introduced me, everyone was genuinely interested in what I did and the Chief at Presby and even asked for my business card because they were impressed with my work and said they had openings.”
“I was never ashamed of you” he whispered
“What?”
“I was never ashamed”- he sighed-“I was scared that as soon as you spoke people would realize that you are too good for me. That you were too bright and had a brighter future ahead of you to be stuck with an old man like me. I was afraid”
“Why would you care what other people thought? You should have only cared about what I did. I never once thought of your age as a negative. Jack I loved you and never thought about what anyone else thought even when people were telling me I could do better” you said
“I was an idiot-“
“You were” -you cut him off- “and if you think admitting that is going to change anything you are wrong. I am happy now Jack. Happier than I ever was with you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you really want to change you have to do some internal rethinking or maybe date people your own age if you are worried about ruining their futures. Or here’s another idea, tell Robby to fuck off every once in a while” you said
“I miss you” he tells you
“I’m sorry that you messed it up for yourself. But I’m not sorry it happened. Because if it didn’t, I’d never have met John. I do wish you the best and hope you find someone Jack” you give him a squeeze on the shoulder as you walk past him and for the second time, you walked past Jack and out of his life.
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Jack’s pov
I stood in the hallway for a bit longer after y/n left. When she first walked into the party she almost looked unrecognizable. She looked happy and healthy, her skin was glowing and she was still breathtaking. When I saw her walk inside the house I took that as my opportunity to finally talk to her, but of course that didn’t go the way I wanted.I was hoping I could talk and apologize and maybe we could get back together, not for her to reconfirm I’m a piece of shit.
Walking back out, I grabbed a plate of food and a beer and sat next to Robby which happened to be down the table from John and y/n. When I sat down, y/n didn’t look at me, but John threw a glance at me with a small nod. I can’t even be mad at the guy, I wasn’t right for her, but he very much is. That’s present in the way his hand is on her thigh and she is leaning close to him.
Y/n and Samira are laughing at something Trinity said and John is staring at y/n like she’s the only girl in the world. My heart breaks knowing that I could have had it all with the girl of my dreams. But I was too fucking stupid to realize what I had before someone came along to show me.
Summary: reader doesn’t work in the medical field and always felt a certain level of insecurity because they feel as if Jack thinks they are dumb. Then one outing with Jack’s team and some comments from Jack and his coworkers all but confirms their insecurities.
Dating Jack Abbot is as fun and delicious as you would expect. He’s funny, handsome, means what he says, and the sex is out of this world. Almost everything about him is perfect. The only thing is his relationship with Robby. Robby has made it abundantly clear he does not like you and quite frankly thinks you're dumb. Jack has made zero attempts to stop him from his comments, which turns sprouts an deep insecurity inside you that Jack thinks the same thing.
When you ask Jack about his day at work, he always just tells you it was okay or it was long, but he doesn’t want to bite you with the details and that’s it. End of conversation. When you try pressing for more information or ask him questions, he would wave you off and say something along the lines of you don’t want to know the boring medical things. And you can’t ever help but feel the small stab of insecurity from his dismissal.
Sure you weren’t in the medical field, you worked in Human Resources. But you met Trinity in college and remained friends all throughout her medical schooling and you were thrilled when she moved to Pittsburgh and got a job here. For fucks sake you helped her study for all her exams, you know enough to carry on a basic conversation of “how was work honey?”. But apparently Jack never thought so.
And when Jack would ask about your day and you would tell him, he would act like he already knew the stories and the information you were telling him. Like your job was so easy to figure out and understand. And honestly it only got worse when you were around his coworkers, most notably Robby. He just viewed you as just a stupid little girl who plays dress up for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday.
“I wish I could have a job where I’m home by 5 and off every weekend. But at last, some of us have real jobs to do” Robby said to you one outing. And Jack didn’t do anything other than give a fake stern “Robby”, but there was still a slight laugh in his tone.
It was Trinity who wanted to say something, but you reminded her that even though she is outside of work, that Robby is still her attending and based on what you have heard about him, he can really make her life a hell. So against her better judgment, she bit her tongue.
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Jack was hosting a barbecue Saturday and the team was going to be there. He of course invited you, but you declined stating that you never fit in the team. Jack argued saying they all loved you, but he respected your decision and that he’ll miss you. And that was the end of the conversation until Saturday morning when Trinity called you.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” She asked
“Trin, I don’t fit in with them. I’m always the outlier” you reminded her and she sighed
“But Jack’s your boyfriend. You're basically living at his house, just because Robby is an ass don’t let that stop you” she said and she is technically right. You are at Jack’s more often than not. Hell, your cat has his own cat tower and kitty litter area set up there when you stay for extended periods of time. Jack even asked you to move in with him earlier this week and you said yes and actually was using today to pack.
“You know what, Trin you’re right. I shouldn’t let them stop me from hanging out. I mean, I’m friends with most of you anyways outside of Jack, so fuck Robby!” You say
“Here here!” Trinity said and you hung up with her and decided to call Jack who answered after the second ring.
“Hey baby!” He answered cheerfully
“Hey Jackie! Is the invitation still open for me to come today?” You asked
“Of course it is! But I thought you didn’t want to?” He asked
“I didn’t, but I spoke to Trinity and she talked me into it. And besides I am friends with most of them outside of you, so I can just hang with them and not cramp your style” you joke. Only slightly kidding and Jack laughed
“You could never cramp my style. Besides, you're always welcomed here. If you want to come a little early, I can help calm your nerves” Jack said suggestively and you giggle
“You got yourself a deal Dr. Abbot” you say
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It took you about 20 minutes to get ready and drive over to Jack’s. When you pull into Jack’s driveway you see a stupid ass motorcycle and know Robby is already there. Sighing you get out of the car and make your way into Jack’s house. Since you are moving in, you don’t even bother knocking and you follow the voices to the kitchen when Jack is cutting up some fruit and Robby is sitting at the island.
“Hey” you greeted catching both of their attention
“Hey baby” Jack smiled and you moved to give him a side hug as he pressed a kiss to your head.
“I see you just let yourself in now” Robby say
“Robby” Jack warned with a small smile
“What? All I’m saying is it must be getting serious” he says taking a swig of his beer
“It is. She’s moving in” Jack said as he resumes cutting up the watermelon and Robby chokes on his beer
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He ask Jack as if your not standing right there
“Jesus Robby-“ Jack gets cut off by you walking away and you hear him say something else, but you are too far away to hear what. Or you’re too angry, you’re not sure what.
You make it to Jack’s room where you begin pacing and trying to calm down. You’re not even in the house for five fucking minutes and you are already being belittled and treated like you are nothing but scum and once again, your boyfriend isn’t doing anything about it.
“Y/n?” his soft voice enters the room as he shuts the door behind him and you stop pacing and turn to look at Jack who is leaning his back against the now closed door.
“Can you please not do this today?” He asked and you look at him in confusion
“Do what?” You asked
“Pick fights with Robby” he said plainly. And you’re trying to wrack your brain for what the fuck he is referring to
“Me pick fights?” You asked and he nods
“I never do. It’s always Robby who starts them. I barely speak to the guy and yet he finds ways to get his digs in at me” you tell Jack and he sighs
“This is a perfect example, you walked away from him when he was talking to you”
“To you” you cut him off. “He was talking to you. He was talking to you as if I wasn’t even there. He does that often Jack”
“He doesn’t-“
“Yes he does! He always fucking does it he talks down to me like I’m fucking stupid or worthless because I’m not a goddamn doctor. And you let him every fucking time!” You yell
“Keep your voice down. He’ll hear you” Jack remains oh so calm
“Oh no, poor Robby will hear me talk bad about him? Well I probably should just go out there get on my knees and kiss his feet and beg for his forgiveness” you fake pout
“Can you be mature? I just wanted a nice get together with friends and you-“ he stops himself
“I’m what? Finish it Jack.” He goes to say something but the doorbell being rung and voices filling the house stop him.
“This conversation isn’t over. Just please have fun, and don’t start anything with Robby” he says as he opens the door and you watch him leave.
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Throughout the party, Jack acted as the perfect host. He laughed, cooked, and made sure everyone was happy- well almost everyone. Once again, you were pushed off to the side while the important people mingled. You were only saved when Trinity, Dennis, Samiria, and Victoria showed up.
When they did, they all made sure to pull you into their conversations and for once you felt welcomed. You didn’t feel that nasty insecurity bug crawling around inside you. When they talked about work, they didn’t feel the need to dumb anything down and if you felt inclined to, you would ask questions. You couldn’t help but think why it couldn’t be this way with Jack. Speaking of which, out of the corner of your eye, you see him walk over.
“Glad you guys could make it”- he says smiling to the group- “though proper etiquette is to say hi to the host” he says clearly a little tipsy from the beers he's been drinking.
“Poor y/n here looked lonely when we showed up, so we kept her company” Trinity said while she threw an arm around your shoulder and you blush a little. You briefly spoke to Trin about your fight with Jack.
“Well I’m glad you were. Can’t have my girl sad during a party” Jack said and smiled at you
“Someone has to” Trinity mumbled and it was clear Jack heard based on the way his face fell.
“Well I hope you guys enjoy the party. Let me know if you need anything” - he smiled to the group and turned to you- “come find me later baby” he says as he pat your ass gently and you give him a smile and a “of course”.
When Jack left, you glared at Trinity who simply held up her hands in surrender.
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The night continues on and you actually start enjoying yourself. You and Samira have chatted most of the night as Trinity ditched you guys to flirt with Garcia.
“So what happened with that manager you were telling me about the other day?” Samira asked you
“Oh! Yes- well he was fired. After the initial racism complaint, we had several other employees come forth with similar experiences and complaints. We had enough for termination based on his contract and our company policies” you tell her
“That’s amazing!” Samira said and you smiled, it’s always validating to hear someone to get excited to hear stories from your job.
“What are you two chatting about?” Jack cuts in as he takes a seat next to you and Robby takes one across from you in the little circle of chairs your group had set up earlier. You look around the yard and realize it is only you four left.
“Oh y/n was just telling me about the manager she had to fire” Samira said
“Oh shit you had to do it?” Jack asked
“Yeah- yesterday” you tell
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He ask and you shrugged
“You worked yesterday and I didn’t think it was that important” you told him and he frowned
“You’re not wrong”- Robby snorts into his beer- “I mean having to tell someone they’re fired? A child could do that” he laughs and your frown deepens
“It is important. Y/n spent hours reviewing the complaints and federal laws on this case. She put a lot of work in this” Jack said
“Whatever. It’s not like she’s doing life saving work like we do. Honestly Jack the imbalance is crazy. How is she ever going to understand what you do?” Robby asked and Jack sighed but didn’t say anything and your glare turned to him.
“Are you not going to say anything?” You asked him and he looked at you mouth opening and closing, like he’s trying to figure out what to say.
“No, of course you’re not. I don’t know why I’m surprised. You never say anything to defend me against Robby’s hurtful comments towards me. Hell, half the time you laugh and egg him on!” -You shout and stand up now. Jack tries to ask you to sit down and lower your voice, but you cut him off and turn towards Robby.
“And you- you are a hurtful, spiteful, sexist asshole. You have done nothing but cut me down since I met you. I thought at first, I just had to get to know you, but now it only gets worse every time I’m around you. You are the sole reason I don’t come to many of Jack’s team outings. You alone make me feel like the outsider, like I’m a fucking idiot because I’m not a doctor. I may not be saving lives like you Robby, but I’m also not making my coworkers live a living hell. Yes I hear all the stories and if I worked in that damn hospital, I would do everything in my power to make you pay for the way you treat your female inferiors.” -you take a small step towards him- “you are fifty fucking years old and act like a child. I don't know if this hatred you have for me is because you think I’m taking Jack away from you, but you don’t have to worry about that anymore because I’m done. You need to grow the fuck up Robby” you end your spiel to him and turned back to Jack who is now standing
“I’m not moving in with you. I’m done”
“Y/n-“ Jack starts
“No. I’m tired of not being enough for you Jack. I’m tired of you thinking I’m not smart enough to tell me about your day. You can talk to me Jack, I may not know the complicated medical terms, but you can fucking tell me how you damn day was. And I’m so tired of you never defending me against Robby. I’m done with obviously not being the right woman for you” you say as you turn and walk out.
You walk out of Jack’s yard, out of his house, and out of his life. You don’t look back and you don’t think about what you did until you’re laying in bed crying yourself to sleep that night.
A little snippet of something I thought about at work when I was zoning out. I don’t know if this is something, so was curious what everyone thinks!
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Pope Cody is dead. At least that’s what Andrew tells himself. He had a lot of time to think while in prison and he finally came to terms that his family was no good for him. Sure he always knew that Smurf was a shitty mother, but three years and not a visit from a single brother or his own mother really set in stone for him that he was done with the Cody family and the life of crime.
So Andrew got serious about turning his life around. He started seeing the prison therapist and doctors who worked hard to get him on the correct medications and for once in his 33 years of life, Andrew felt sane, normal, at peace. Sure, there were still some hard times and he still had his moments that got his ass locked up in solitary, but anyone with eyes and who knows his past can see that for all purposes, Pope Cody is dead and this new man Andrew is trying his best.
When he was told he was going to be released after three years, Andrew couldn’t believe it. He almost thought he was hallucinating it, but when Rick his lawyer and Darlene his parole officer sat him down he knew it was serious.
“Listen Andrew, are you serious about changing your life around? We know you been making great strides in here, but we’re fearful, once you’re back with your family, you’ll turn back to old ways” Rick told him and Andrew couldn’t disagree, he had the same fears
“I would like to cut ties with them, make it out on my own” Andrew told them honestly. Rick and Darlene shared a glance and turned back to Andrew
“Normally the courts don't allow recent parolees to leave the state, but I called in a favor and if you truly are serious, we can get you set up with a parole officer in Michigan. He used to work here for the DEA, but he was injured on the job and retires, he owns a couple of repair businesses and i told him your story and he is happy to have you come stay with him” Darlene told him
“What? Why?” Andrew asked because why would a stranger from Michigan want a felon from a California to come all the way out to him
“He was nice in your shoes. Grew up in a bad family, got into a shady business. Went to prison, got his shit together and got a degree. Then became a hell of a worker for us until he was shot and almost lost his life. Then he decided to move his family and settle down. He said he saw a lot of him in you when we talked” she told Andrew.
He looked at her and thought it over for a second.
“Will you tell my family? I don’t want them to know where I am. For all I care, they can think I am dead”
“We are not required to tell them anything. We will help you get to Michigan and Jim will help you from there” Rick tells him.
“Alright. Fuck it I’m in” Andrew says and both Rick and Darlene sigh and smile. They tell Andrew they are proud of him and they both shake his hand before leaving. And for the first time in a while Andrew felt the urge to smile this new feeling of hopefulness making him almost giddy.
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Y/n pov
It’s been one of those awkward almost spring type Michigan days where the weather isn’t quite sure what it wants to do. The day starts out freezing cold, it warms up almost scorching hot and ends with rain and mixed with a little snow. You know typical mid-March weather, one of the many reasons you love the good old Midwest.
You are currently at your parents house which isn’t odd considering you and your siblings meet up at your parents house a couple times a week for dinners. The only thing your parents ever request from you kids. Growing up, family time was always huge- your parents instilled the importance of having your own time and space. Your own interests and life, but they also stressed the importance of family and being together.
You knew if your father’s past, it was something he never hid from you and your siblings. So you knew of his childhood and how different he made yours, so you always respected what he built with his family. And secretly you loved it, you had two loving parents, who were not perfect and never claimed to be. You had an older brother and one younger sister. Your parents never made you feel like the typical middle sibling and honestly, there were no competitions between you guys.
Sure you bicker and fought like normal siblings, and had silly little “I’m mom/dad’s favorite” arguments, but at the end of the day it wasn’t serious. In all senses you were happy and content.
At tonight’s family dinner, your dad just told you the news of a stranger coming and staying with them.
“Mom, you’re okay with a felon staying in the house?” Your older brother Alex asks
“Alex, I’m a felon” my dad reminded him and my mom sighed
“He’s not dangerous. He did something stupid and he paid for it. He is getting his second chance” your mom, Millie, told him
“Yeah he robbed banks. What if he robs you guys or one of us?” Alex asked.
“What if grandma and grandpa thought the same of dad and he never got the second chance and met mom?” You asked Alex and he sighed
“I’m just worried” he tried to reason again
“I understand that, but I know what I am doing and I’m going to help Andrew. He wants a clean break from his family and I’m giving it to him.” You dad said with finality and that was the end of the conversation.
You for one are excited and intrigued to meet the mysterious Andrew Cody. You take after your father in the sense of wanting to help people which is why you got into the Child Protective Services/ Foster Care field. You want to help children get a better life and help those you can’t fight for themselves.
Summary: reader is a supe and reflects on meeting Billy. And a small introduction of their life.
Author note: I wish I dint join The Boys fandom so late! I fear I might be too late to be writing for them 😭😭
It was a quiet night on the farm- the outside animals were fed and put to bed. The plants were watered and tended to for the day. Terror and your cat had their dinner and both are now snoozing in their respective beds.
Billy was off fucking around with the Boys doing god knows what, but since they were just doing intel work, you were not needed. The perks of being of the three supes in the team, is that you’re not needed for a lot of the smaller tasks. Especially since Billy often considers you (much to Annie’s dismay) the muscle of the team, as you were the strongest of them.
Your gifts have always been nature driven. You have the ability to manipulate the elements, communicate/ hear the thoughts of all animals, and can manipulate the weather. In addition to having super strength, durability, and all the typical bullshit of being a supe.
You were in your bedroom getting ready to take an everything shower after a long day of work and decompress with a good book as you think back to when you met Billy.
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Flashback:
It was a slow day at the clinic, probably due to the rainy weather. You’ve seen a few pets, but all routine check ups. You absolutely love your job, you're a vet and considering you can hear and feel animal’s pain, it makes your job both easy and difficult. But you supposed every job has its ups and downs.
You were reviewing the schedule in the hallway and realized you have one more patient for the day, a new patient, a elderly bulldog named Terror. And as if right on que, the front door opens and in walks a tall, extremely handsome man and a very beautiful dog.
“Good afternoon! Welcome to happy tails, here for grooming or vet?” Leah, your receptionist greeted the man
“‘Ello, Terror here has a check up” He said and Leah nods as she types on the computer and confirms the man's information.
“Well, if you take a seat, we will-” she starts but you interrupt her and walk up to the desk
“No need Leah, I can take the handsome devil back to the room now” you smile and lead them to the examination room.
“Well I’m not here for the check up” the man jokes and you laugh with him
“Dr. y/l/n, but you can just call me y/n” you tell him as you held the door open for him
“Billy” he smiles as he passes you and damn he smells good.
Once you shut the door, you get Terror onto the scale in the corner of the room and hum in appreciation- good weight.
Then you lower the table for Terror to jump up on and begin to raise it. Once he is settled you begin your examination. While you were looking over Terror, Billy would make conversation with you or more so flirt with you- asking questions about yourself and answering very little about himself.
Somehow by the end of the visit, you are giving a clear bill of health and Billy is giving you his number and a promise of a date.
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Present:
“What’s got you smiling luv ?” Billy’s thick accent cuts through your memories. You turn to look at him and find he is leaning against the doorway. He is wearing one of his Hawaiian shirts barely buttoned, a pair of dark washed jeans, and black socks- you’ve finally got him to take off his crusty boots at the door.
“Just thinking about you” You smile as you walk towards him wearing just your bra and underwear and his cheeky smile deepens as he stands straighter and pulls you closer to him by your hips.
“All good things I hope” He whispers
“When we first met” you tell him as you lean up on your tippy toes and give him a kiss which he happily returns.
“That was a good day. Didn’t think I’d meet such a beauty taking the tank to the clinic” He says and you smile.
“Want to shower with me?” You ask
“Luv, the day I say no to seeing naked and soapy, please kill me” he says and he hoists you up over his shoulder causing you to screech and giggle as he carries you to the bathroom.
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Flashback:
It was date five or six when Billy finally told you what happened to Becca, what Homelander and Vought did to her and how he hates Supes and his job is to get rid of them all. He confessed all of his deepest feelings. He bared his soul to you and here you are withholding a secret that could make Billy hate you forever.
“Billy I need to tell you something”- you say one night as you two are at your house- “I need to tell you this before this goes too far and you figure out you hate me forever” you whisper
“What are you talking about, love? I could never” He says as he sits on the couch next to you and you give him a humorless chuckle
“I’m a supe Billy” You whisper and he just looks at you and smiles. You expected yelling and anger, maybe even attempted murder, but not Billy smiling.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” you asked
“I did. But I knew that already” He said and you look at him confused
“y/n, when we are outside, you quite literally perk up, like you are truly thriving. you understand animals better than you do humans, you can instantly tell where they are hurt and I have caught you on multiple occasions having conversation with them. And when I picked you up the other day here, I saw you unloading the hay bales by yourself… with your bare hands. Kind of sealed the deal what you were” He says as he grabs your hand
“Aren’t you mad I didn’t tell you?” You asked still not trusting his reaction
“At first I was, and honestly I started using our dates as an opportunity to sus you out, but quickly learned there was nothing. You are perfectly ordinary like the rest of us ordinary humans. I honestly don’t think there’s an evil bone in your body” Billy chuckles
“You’re the best William” you smile at him
“Oi don’t go saying that luv- you must not know me too well” he chuckles as he pulls you into him and leans back into the couch. Instead of leaning into him, you decide to straddle his lap and Billy looks up at you slightly surprised.
You bring both hands up to his face and slowly caress his cheeks with your thumbs, your face conveying nothing but love. You slowly bring your thumbs down to his lips and very lightly trace his bottom lips causing him to smile and tell you it tickles. Then without overthinking, you lean forward and capture Billy in your first kiss. It was perfect, you can taste the whiskey he's been drinking and you're sure he can taste the red wine you had.
Billy’s hands find their home on your hips and tug you closer to him. You move your hands you his hair and gently pull to test the waters, but when you are met with a groan and Billy’s eye’s darkening when he pulls back to look at you, you know you won.
That night Billy and you progressed your relationship with stolen kisses, and promises along with several orgasms.
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Present:
“Who would have thought a shower could be so dirty?” Billy asked you while he sat against the headboard on the bed watching you apply lotion to your body.
“I did because you’re a filthy man William Butcher” you laugh and he chuckles
“I never hear you complaining” he says smugly and you roll your eyes and you slip on a pair of Billy’s clean boxers and one of his old shirts. Then before you move to lay down in bed, you open your bedroom door because you know before long Terror and Millie will be making their way into your bed.
You crawl in on your side of the bed and grab your book while Billy flips on the tv and turns on some weird Bigfoot hunting show he discovered and likes. He scoots down in bed so that he is laying and moves closer to you so that he head is resting near your lap which is his way of silently asking for you to run your fingers through his hair. Which of course you happily obliged.
You two stay like that for a while and just as you expected you hear the heavy trot of Terror making his way to your room. Billy built him a set of pet steps to use to crawl up onto the bed that he loves so that way he can come and go as he pleases and doesn’t have to wait for you and Billy to pick him up or put him down. Once he is up on the bed, he makes his way in between your legs so that he can rest his head next to Billy’s and join in on the family cuddle.
Then as if she’s sensing she’s missing out in the family cuddle time, Millie makes her presence known and decides to take her place right on Billy’s chest. While he pretends to be annoyed, he secretly loves it.
You can’t help but love this little family you and Billy have built together. The farm, the animals, your careers, it’s all uniquely Billy and yours and nothing could ever change that. Well, for now nothing changes that. Who knows what tomorrow could bring.
Summary: Pre-pregnancy story. Reader and Jack finally talk and make up!
Sorry this might be terrible! I’m traveling and wanted to get this out. But I’m also in a car, so it might not be proofread to the best of my abilities. But I hoped you like it!!
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Jack hasn’t been home for almost two weeks. You are a stubborn fool and if Jack wants to play this game, then damnit, you can too. The only time you talk to him is at work.
You two try to keep it the same at work, but everyone knows. The easiness that flows between Jack and you is gone and it’s tense. You two don’t air your problems out in front of everyone, you both still work great together, everyone can just tell. Jack’s flirty comments towards you are gone. You don’t automatically look for him every time you step out of a patient room. There’s no inside jokes or stolen kisses for the last two weeks and everyone is concerned. Well almost everyone.
Unfortunately for you Mohan is still covering nights and like she knows there’s a wedge between Jack and you, she seems intent on driving it deeper until you two are separated. It’s noticeable when you’re in a room with Jack, she’ll insert herself on the case and basically push you out. When a group of you are at the hub talking and laughing, she tries her best to exclude you from the conversation.
But like you told Jack you are tired. Exhausted from all of this and if he can’t stop or won’t stop Mohan, then you won’t either, you’ll just remove yourself from the equation. That thought kills you to even think about because Jack is the love of your life, but you are not going to be the second best option for him.
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You’re standing at the computer in the hall trying to chart, but instead you are staring off in space fiddling with your wedding ring. Something Jack pointed out that you do since you two got engaged. You’re not entirely sure if you are thinking of anything in particular or just the shit show that is currently your life.
“Penny for your thoughts?” A deep voice makes you jump and you turn your head to see Jack. He looks tired, dark circles under his eyes. You also noticed the last few shifts that he been limping a lot more which is a clear since he is exhausted and not taking proper care of himself.
You offer him a small smile “sorry zoned out there for a second. Need the computer?” You asked as you sign out of it and go to step away before he grabs your wrist and stops you
“No. I, um, was hoping we could talk” he says, his eyes pleading
“Is this a good place to do so?” You ask thinking back to your last “talks” that ended in screaming matches and the most recent one that ended in you crying and Jack leaving.
“No fighting. God knows we’ve done enough of that”- a chuckle- “just when you have some time maybe? Or we can go to breakfast?” He asks
“Dr. Abbot?” Mohan’s voice cuts in before you can respond and Jack closes his eyes and sighs and you fight and eye roll
“Yeah?” He says while not turning to her and stares at you.
“The labs are back for the patient in bed 3” she says
“Okay? Mohan you are a 3rd year resident, you don’t need me to go over results” he says still not looking at her and her face drops. And some part of you find a little bit of satisfaction in that. She doesn’t say anything else and walks away.
You realize Jack is still waiting for your answer, so weigh your options and damnit, pancakes sound really fantastic right now- “breakfast” you tell him and for the first time in a long time you see a true smile on Jack’s face.
“Breakfast it is then” he agrees
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You meet Jack at the same diner you two always go to, the one that’s on your way home and advertises “home of the best pancakes” and they’re not wrong. You both are seated and the waitress comes by to get your orders.
“I’ll do the chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon please” you tell her
“I’ll do 3 over easy eggs, a side of bacon and hash browns and an order of white toast” Jack tells her as you both hand her your menus.
When she walks away there’s a bit of an awkward silence between you two. You fiddle with your mug of coffee while you feel Jack staring at you. You know he’s trying to figure out the right words to say, but what he asks was not it.
“How have you been?” He asks and you look at him and scrunch your eyebrows together
“Um not good. Like at all” you tell
“Right. That was a stupid question” he said and it goes back to that awful awkward silence. This is something you have never experienced with Jack before. Life with him was always easy and fun, but now you’re not even sure where you stand anymore with him.
“I’m sorry this is so awkward. I don’t know what to say” he chuckles nervously and you huff out air through your nose.
“Yeah it kind of is. But i guess that’s our life now huh? Not knowing what to say to one another” you reply
“It’s in me I know. I shut you out” he says quietly and you sigh
“It’s not just on you Jack. You were right I keep things inside until something little sets me off and everything comes pouring out at once” you say and he doesn’t reply just looks at you like he’s examining you. Like he’s trying to figure out if the person sitting across from him is the same woman he married a year ago.
“Listen Jack, if you want a divorce we can do that. I can ask Lena to move for days until I can find a different position somewhere else. You can have the house once it gets done and I’ll keep the current house. We keep our own bank accounts and figure out how to split our shared account” you tell him and he blinks a couple times like he’s trying to catch up
“What?”
“A divorce. If you want one I’ll sign the papers or whatever we have to do” your voice starts to crack, but you refuse to cry in this diner
“Why would I want that? Do you want that?”
“Jack you haven’t been home in 2 weeks and this is the first time we talked outside of work. And of course I don’t want that? But what else am I to believe when you just walked away?” You asked and he went quiet. You take that as your answer and grab your work bag and go to stand up before he grabs your hand to stop you.
“Please don’t go” he pleads and looks at you with tears brimming his eyes. You sigh and sit you bag back in the chair next to you and look at Jack for an explanation
“I don’t want a divorce. I’m a dick for walking away, I know that and Robby lets me know every day. But every time I think about you, all I see is the look on your face standing outside the therapist office pleading for me to fight for you. Y/n it kills me knowing that I failed you as a husband that my actions made you believe I wanted any other woman than you. I failed you for thinking I don't love you anymore because baby, my whole heart belongs to you. I wake up loving you, I spend my whole day loving you, and I fall asleep thinking about all the ways I love you and how I’m going to make it up to you.” He says as still holds your hand and is now softly rubbing his thumb against it.
“Then why did you walk away when I needed you?” You whispered
“Because I’m afraid I’m just going to fuck all of this up and that you’ll see me for the idiot I’m truly am. My biggest fear is that you are going to wake up and realize you made the biggest mistake of your life” he says
Before you can respond the waitress comes by and drops off the food, but neither of you move to pick up your forks.
“Don’t you think if I was going to do that, I would have done that years ago? Or before you proposed? Or before I walked down the aisle? How many times do I have to tell you that I love you Jack Abbot?” You say and he smiles softly
“I know. But it's the one thing I can never shut off in my head. And im sorry for never telling you” he says and you squeeze his hand and tell him it’s okay
And you brace yourself to ask the next question you dread the answer to- “why the no sex then? We use to have an extremely healthy sex life” you ask and he looks down shamefully and you connect the dots in your head and rip your hand from his.
“There was someone else. Was it Samira?” You ask in disgust and absolute hurt, but also trying not to make a scene. Jack’s head snaps up to yours and his wide eyes meet your angry ones
“There’s no one else, I promise!” He says and when he doesn’t see the conviction on your face he sighs and mumbles something
“What?” You ask and he looks at you again almost embarrassed
“I can’t get it up” he says and you offer a “oh” and Jack’s head drops again
“Is that it?” You ask and he looks at you questioningly
“I mean that’s not a big issue Jack, if you said something I would have understood. There’s lot of reason- medication, something medical, age-“
“Stop” he groans and you can’t help but laugh
“No I don’t think I will, you caused me months of distressed thinking my husband thought I was unattractive and cheating on me, but you just wouldn’t tell me you couldn’t get it up!” You say angry, with slight humor behind it.
Jack looks at you in disbelief for a moment before he’s laughing himself.
“I told you I fucked up” he said and you agreed
“All of this could have been avoided if you just said “hey honey, little guy’s not up for it lately”” you laugh and he groans
“Don’t call it my little guy ever again” and you cackle louder
The waitress returns at this time to check on you guys and sees you haven’t touched your food. She asks if it was okay and you both reassured it was, but would actually like some boxes. When she brought back the boxes, she brought the check and Jack gave her his card. When everything was packed up and paid for you walked out of the restaurant and you both just stood there.
“So are you coming home or going to Robby’s?” You asked
“If it’s alright, I would love to come home. We still have some things to talk about” he says
“Yeah, but before you do, I need to hear you promise me there is nothing with you and Mohan. I know you said there’s not Jack, but I can’t help but think it with the way she behaves around you” you tell him
“Y/n I swear in my life there is nothing. I have zero feelings towards her one way or another. I've been begging Robby to put her back on days because she is driving me nuts. Everywhere I turn she is there, needing something. I’ve told her multiple times to back off and set boundaries, but she ignores them and skips around them in the terms of professionalism. I’ve stuck with Shen so many times, but somehow she ends up with me. Every time I tried looking for you these past two weeks, she would tell me you were off with someone else or she would pull me away to a patient room. The final straw was early last night when she tried to make it seem like you and Shen snuck off in secret when you two did the supply run to fill the carts. Y/n there’s only you I promise. I’m sorry I didn't see the warning signs earlier, I thought she was just a student wanting guidance, I didn’t think anything of it” he says and it finally clicks into place for you. Jack has been a “victim” in this scenario as much as you have been.
“Alright then. Come home Jackie. It’s too quiet without you” you tell him as you smile and turn to walk to your car and he walks to his truck.
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Back home Jack and you actually talked- no fighting and no screaming. You sat at the kitchen table and ate your breakfast and talked. You worked through everything that been pent up between you two and for the first time in months you felt relaxed with Jack. He reassured medically he was okay and his doctor believes it is his new depression medication that is making his libido disappear.
However, Jack’s lack of working parts currently did not stop him from showing you how much he truly does loves you as he ate you out on the kitchen table, on the bathroom counter, in the shower (he was in his shower chair as you had a leg propped up over his shoulder and holding on to the hand rails for dear life), and twice more in bed. Five orgasm later, the two of you were in each other’s arms fast asleep looking forward to 3 days off.
Summary: Pre-pregnancy story. Reader and Jack are working through their communication barriers and the aftermath of Mohan interaction. And they both find out things about their relationship.
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Doctor offices are always the worst, it doesn't matter the speciality, they all suck. That’s true even as Jack and you are sitting in a vibrant waiting room of the marriage therapist you are scheduled to see. The slight smell of lavender and the calming instrumental music does very little to calm either of your nerves.
“Tell me again why we are doing this?” You ask
“Because we suck at talking about our feelings” Jack said and you laugh softly
It’s been about two months after your attack in the hospital and everything you were feeling with Samira coming to a head. Jack and you tried to talk about it, but neither of you apparently had the skills, because it ended in fights or you two laughing it off when really it shouldn’t have been.
So Dana recommended you two to talk to someone, she gave you the number to her and Don’s therapist and said She’s great. Thankfully, Jack agreed and now here you two are- sitting in what should be a relaxing waiting room, but isn’t actually relaxing.
Finally “Abbot’s” was called and standing in the doorway was a older woman, probably Jack’s age, tall, beautiful tan skin, and has a very calming smile. You stand up and offer your arm to Jack who refuses and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.
You two follow the woman down the hallway until you get to her room. There’s a couch in the center of two chairs slightly to the side, you guys opt for the couch. The main lights are off, but Dr. Lynn has “mood” lighting around her office to make the space comfortable. Plus it’s a sunny spring day, so the natural light from the sun is spilling in her office.
“Jack please tell me a bit why you guys are here” Dr. Lynn says as she takes a seat at her desk. Jack shifts slightly when the attention is brought on him unexpectedly
“Oh um, we just need help working on our communication skills” he mumbles. For a Man who regularly goes to therapy, he sure seems not skilled at this. Dr. Lynn nods and asks if there is anything else and Jack just shakes his head. Dr. Lynn turns her attention to you.
“Y/n why are you guys here?”
“Like Jack said to mainly work on our communication skills” you replied
“Mainly? Meaning there’s more?” She asks
“Um yeah- I think we still need to work things” you say honestly
“Like what?” Dr. Lynn asks
“Jack’s relationship with his resident is still a big issue for me. We just can’t seem to talk about it without fighting” you explained and in the corner of your eye, you can see Jack roll his eyes, but chose not to say anything.
“Thank you for being honest y/n. Jack, what do you think about what she said?” Dr. Lynn asks him
“I think we’re beating a dead horse y/n. I already told you there’s nothing going on between us and I told her that in front of you too” he grumbled
“Words and actions are two different things Jack” you tell him and he scoffs, but before he retorts Dr. Lynn cuts in
“What do you mean y/n?”
“Mohan is currently on the night shift covering for one of our residents and she is constantly flirting with Jack and he never shuts it down. When he is teaching her something, they are extremely close to each other and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly inserts herself into Jack and I’s conversations that have nothing to do with work and he entertains her” you explain
“We are a teaching hospital. I have to guide her through things and sometimes I have to be close” he argues
“Bullshit! You got mega pissed when I first started and Jesse was showing me something and he held my hand for it and we weren’t even together yet!” You retort
“Alright let’s settle down. I see what you mean about wanting to work on communication” Dr. Lynn says as she writes some notes down on her paper. You and Jack stare ahead, refusing to look at each other.
“Okay, y/n other than this current situation, is there anything else you want to maybe address with Jack?” She asks you
“He doesn’t want my help. He’s independent and I get that. But every time I offer to help, he immediately shuts me down. Like earlier in the lobby I offered him my hand to help him up and he ignored it. Very rarely do I get to help him with anything, it’s always immediately shut down.”- You take a deep breath- “And he’s very open with his feelings, which I love, but if I don’t have the same feelings or don’t respond the same way, he gets pissy, like his feelings are the only valid ones and I should agree with him” you tell her and she nods as she writes it on paper.
You are refusing to look at Jack because you know if you do, you’ll feel guilty and that’s not what either of you need right now. Dr. Lynn looks up and at Jack
“Alright Jack, what do you want to address?”
“Nothing. I love my wife” he says stubbornly and almost as if it’s a dig at you
“That’s not what this is about. This is about overcoming barriers. You two can’t work on your communication if we don’t address everything you two are failing at talking about” she tells him and he sighs
“Fine. Y/n keeps things to herself. She bottles everything up until she can no longer keep it in and explodes. The Mohan thing is a perfect example, I didn’t know this was an issue until she couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’m not a mind reader, I don’t know what she’s thinking, and I know a lot of it has to do with her childhood and she has overcome a lot and has opened up to me over the years. But she’s still a closed book” Jack says
You refused to look at Jack instead opting to look at Dr.Lynn who is writing notes, you can feel Jack stating holes in the side of your head.
“How is your intimacy?” She asks looking up from her notes
“Good” you both say fast and she quirks an eyebrow at you both, clearly expecting one of you to explain more. With a sigh you decide to go forth
“Sex is one thing Jack and I always done well at”- you hear him chuckle under his breath- “but lately I can’t help feel like it’s different” you admit
“Different how?” Dr. Lynn pushes
“Like it’s expected now. Before we would have sex or at least something sexual everyday, but I can’t remember the last time Jack touched me. And when we do have sex, I can’t help but think he rather be anywhere else or that I was someone else” you feel the tears burning
“Who do you think he wishes you were?” She ask
“Fucking Samira”- you finally said what you been avoiding. And you look at Jack for the first time and now he’s the one avoiding you- “I never had a problem with anyone around Jack before, but since she became more prominent, it’s an issue, she blatantly flirts with him in front of me and Jack can talk forever about how amazing and smart she is” the tears are now rolling down your face
“He looks at her the way he used to look at me” you whisper that last part
“Jack? What do you have to say to y/n?” Dr. Lynn
“I don’t love Samira more than you” he sighs “I don’t love her at all, but do I admire her? Yes, but not in the way you apparently think” he runs a hand through his hair
“This could have all been avoided if you just told me what was going on in your head instead of keeping it to yourself” he states
“We are not here to point fingers or blame Jack. This is a safe space for you two to talk” Dr. Lynn says
“How am I supposed to say anything when you barely talk to me? At work you are almost always with John, Robby, or Samira and at home it’s like we’re roommates and not a married couple” you say
“Oh bullshit you had plenty of opportunities, but you can’t ever just admit your feelings and keep everything bottled up inside until you explode!” He says as he stands up and you do two, preparing for another fight
Dr. Lynn tried to settle you both down, but you two are barely listening to her until finally she raises her voice and Jack and you stop and look at her.
“I’m going to stay at Robby’s” he says
“If you leave, don’t come back” you tell him and he stares at you for a moment longer before digging into his pocket and pulling out the keys and putting them on the desk. Then he’s walking out the door.
You turn towards Dr. Lynn and mumble out a quick sorry and grab the keys and follow Jack out the door.
You catch him exiting the lobby
“Are you really just going to walk away?” You ask and he turns around
“My wife is accusing me of cheating on her, what else am I supposed to do?” He ask
“I don’t know Jack, fight? Show her she’s wrong? You’ve given me nothing but every evidence that I’m right” you say and he just nods sarcastically and begins walking away again
“I’m tired of this. I didn't think our marriage would end like this after one year.”- he stops walking, but doesn’t turn around- “I’m tired of being alone. I know I’m not perfect, but neither are you Jack” you said and sniffled.
Without waiting for a response, you turn the opposite direction to the truck and once you are there, you let the water work begin. You’re not sure how long you were sitting before the door opened and Jack was standing there. He gently pushes you across the bench seat and gets in the drivers side.
He doesn’t say anything as he drives you home or as you continue to cry. He still doesn’t say anything as he packs his suitcase and overnight bags. He doesn’t say anything as he shuts the front door of the house and drives off presumably to Robby’s house and leaves to in the silence of your once warm house.
Jack abbot x nurse!reader, past Robby x nurse!reader,
Summary: Three month time skip! Reader feels as if there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel for her. The people closest to her finally know the truth. Robby continues his attempts at intimidation. Does the reader finally make the moves to expose him fully or does Robby still have his hooks in her?
Warnings: Talk of rape (no description), talk of domestic abuse, talks of abusive relationship, talks of therapy, parental deaths and suicide (reader’s parents are both dead), medical inaccuracies, mental health struggles,
Author note- my knowledge on mental health and therapy is strictly based on my own experience. In no ways am I an expert. So some stuff is probably inaccurate, or not true for most people!
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For once in the past year of your life, you finally feel lighter, almost like yourself again… almost. You’re proud of the work you've been putting in therapy- you are learning the proper skills you need to process what happened. You even learned how not to instantly seize up as soon as you see Robby, though you still avoid him like the plague.
Thankfully, you’re always with someone at handoffs, so you don’t get a chance to interact with him, even if you have to stay late, you are lucky enough to avoid him. He has made a few attempts to contact you through text and calls, but you quickly blocked his number and he hasn’t been stupid enough to come back to your house. You may or may not have told several of your neighbors, if they see if lurking around to either tell him to leave or call the cops.
For three blissful months you felt like you were in control for once. After telling John, he still encourages you to report Robby, but you always tell him you're not ready. And it’s true, part of you believes that there’s no chance no one is going to believe you because Robby has been here for so long and has a decent reputation. Also there’s the fact that it might come down to a he said, she said situation. And then there’s the cold hard fact that Robby is a powerful white male who will probably get a slap on the wrist while your whole life implodes and you get turned into a pariah.
In addition to talking to John about the incident, you opened up to Lena. You two met up on a day off and you told her everything. Lena was like a mother to you and for once didn’t let her hatred towards Robby overshadow you. She listened, cried, and didn't tell you what to do. She made sure that you knew she loved you and was always here for you.
The only person left to tell was Jack. This one was going to be the hardest because you feel like there’s a lot more to lose than just a friendship. What Jack and you spent years building goes beyond trust and love, you can’t explain it, but if this is what makes Jack walk away, then you are done.
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You decided a few weeks ago that you don’t think you can continue working in this headspace and fear that your luck will soon run out and you’ll be forced to work with Robby sooner rather than later. So, you started to look at other nursing jobs. You haven’t put in any applications yet, just started looking to see what’s out there and thankfully there’s plenty- even within PTMC, anything to get out of the ER.
This decision didn’t come easy, in fact you've been extremely stressed over this and have talked about this with Sofia for several sessions. She encourages you to really think about moving away from the Pitt because she wants you to remove yourself from Robby and you do too, but the irrational part of your brain can’t help but feel guilt because the ER is the place you found your little family.
Lena truly was like a mother to you, when you started the night shift , she instantly took you under her wings, no one knows why she took an instant liking to you because one thing about Lena is she’s tough. She has a hard exterior and some people that can find that to be off putting. But once you break through her outer shell, she’s the most loving and gentle person you can know. It was on a slow night when you mentioned that your mother passed away from cancer when you were 10 and that you quickly had to grow up because your father kind of stopped caring for you.
Not that he didn’t love you, but his love and grief for your mother was so strong, it took all his focus. You became the primary care person in the household (within reason, your extended family were your neighbors). You made sure the house was clean and food was made. While you were younger, your grandma and aunts would take you to do the shopping, but when you got old enough to drive that became your responsibility too.
Your father is a vet and has struggled with his mental health all your life, which is why your family has always been there to help you, so when it was time for you to go off to college, you aunt encouraged you to leave and experience the world, and you truly wanted to but part of you couldn’t leave your dad. So you stayed local and worked hard and graduated too from your class and well the rest is history.
Your fathers first suicide attempt he was brought into PTMC and it was John who made the connection and sat with you as Jack worked to bring him back. The second attempt was Lena who sat with you and you told her your childhood. It was then that she truly became your protector. She probably was the one who told Jack the vet he spent hours saving both times was your dad because after the shift Jack took you to breakfast and told you about his time in the service and what it did to his head. You didn’t talk much, just listened to Jack, and at the end you gave him a big hug and thanked him because he didn’t push you to talk. Just let you know in his way you’re not alone.
The third and final attempt you were alone while it was all hands on deck. Gunshot to the head-Jack, John, and Parker all worked hard to do everything they can, but in the end, Jack came and found you to tell you that at the ripe age of 24, you are now an orphan. Jack held you as you cried and held your hand as you called your grandma and aunt to tell them their son and brother was finally successful. He supported you as you helped prepare for his funeral, helping with any military related questions you had. He hugged you and never let go during the funeral. He made sure you at least ate something at the luncheon so you wouldn’t pass out from hunger. He laid with you in your bed while you cried yourself to sleep. He steered your thoughts away from guilt as you blamed yourself for not doing more to help your dad.
All you ever knew was support, kindness, and love from Jack. He never asked for anything in return and that’s what is holding you back from leaving Pitt.
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Jack is coming over tonight for dinner and a movie. A suggestion from Sofia because you have not had anyone over since Robby and you both agree having someone you trust is a good step. Tonight is also Jack’s turn to learn the truth. He knows that John and Lena know more than he does and you promise him it’s nothing personal and you’re scared to tell him. But Jack being Jack always finds a way to calm your nerves and he tells you that he understands and he’s ready whenever you are, and you are. You’re done with Robby being in between you two.
So you’re at the store getting things for dinner tonight, you decide to do something simple like lasagna and garlic bread. While walking the store, you can’t help but feel like you are being watched, but each time you look, no one is there other than fellow shoppers. So you just shake off the feeling and continue on your way and finish getting what you need.
You are in the middle of loading up your car when his voice interrupts your thoughts of cooking for Jack.
“Fun plans tonight?” Robby’s voice asks and you freeze. A bag of groceries is suspended in mid air and you start to tremble. But you try to calm yourself- he wouldn’t do anything in public would he?
“I asked you question baby” he whispers as he places his hands on your shoulders and you jerk away and spin towards him
“What are you doing here?” You asked because you know he doesn’t live anywhere close to this store.
“I can’t talk to you at work because you avoid me. I assume you blocked my number because you don’t respond to my calls or texts. And I know you told your neighbors not to let me near your house” he says as he leans against the side of your car and you try to reach for your phone in your pocket, but he saw your movements
“No, no- none of that, I just want to talk” he says as he grabs your wrist and moves your arm so that he can see both hands.
“I don’t want to talk to you” you mumble avoiding his eye contact and Robby smiles and cocks his head to the side.
“Yeah? Well maybe just listen then” he says as he stands tall again and leans closer to you
“You’re not saying anything right? I mean we broke up on good terms, correct?” He asks and you finally bare to look at him
“I would hate to see your job be jeopardized over some lies you spread about me. It’s not a good look for a pretty young nurse to be jealous that a chief attending broke up so she starts telling stories about him. Ya know?” He asks as he brushes hair out of your face and you flinch and he smiles deeper
“Lena and John know. Jack will tonight” you tell him and his face sours
“Tonight? This is what all this is for- Jack?” He seethes and you whimper
“Do you not remember what I told you baby? Jack isn’t going to want my damaged goods. So don’t try so hard” he says
“He isn’t like you” you whisper with tears in your eyes and he laughs
“All men are like me. Some just choose to hide it. But I still mean what I said. You’ll tell anyone else or try to take this to the board or whatever plan you have in your head” he jabs a finger at your forehead-“I will do so much worse”
“I want you to burn for what you did” you said and Robby roughly grabs both of your wrists and pulls you close to him. The grip he has is firm and you feel all 10 fingers pushing in on your wrists.
“Nothing is going to happen to me because you’re not going to fucking say anything. And if you do I swear to god I will hurt you” he says as he shoves you back aggressively into your car.
You watched him walk away and once he was out of your sight, you quickly threw the rest of your bags in the car and rushed to put the cart away and jump into your car. Trembling, you start the car and start crying. Without overthinking, you call Jack and ask him to meet you at your house as soon as he can. Jack said he can be there in 20.
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Jack’s POV
It’s silent- I know I need to say something, but I need to check myself before I do. Y/n is avoiding my eyes and I can’t blame her, she just told me something horrific and all I can do is be silent. For once in my life words are failing me.
I look at y/n and her face is soaking wet from her tears and she’s sniffling. I want nothing more than to collect her into my arms, but I honestly don’t know if she would want that right now. I’m mad, not at her obviously, at fucking Robby. What kind of monster is he that had all of us fooled thinking he was a decent guy and just needed some help. Well apparently he needs a lot of it. And for him to corner her in the parking lot like that and fill her head with all those things that no one will love her again, that I would love her. As if she wasn’t the reason I get up each day.
“Are you mad at me?” She asks quietly and my head snaps to her
“Absolutely not. Why would you think I’m mad at anyone but your attacker?” I ask in disbelief
“You’re quiet. You’re never quiet” she says and I laugh softly under my breath
“I’ll be honest, for once I don’t know what to say” and she offers me a small, very minuscule smile
“What are you going to do?” I ask and she shrugs
“I started looking at other positions, and my therapist really supports that decision”- she says and I nod because I also can’t say I disagree- “but about Robby I don’t know. I’m scared he’s going to keep his promise and he’s going to do something extreme” she says
“I won’t let him. If you want to take this to the board I’m right there with you.” I tell her and she nods
She goes on to explain her worries of if she brings it to the board and nothing comes of it, then what then? She’ll be known as a bitter ex and Robby gets off free. Again, I can’t disagree with her logic, we see it too often in the news of it happening or even when we do rape kits and the police take forever to come collect them.
“Whatever you decide I’m with you all the way. If you decide we need to switch hospitals, then that’s what we will do” I tell her and she looks up from the chair she is on
“We?”
“Yeah- do you think I would really leave you alone in all this?” I ask genuinely confused
“Kind of. I thought once you knew the truth, you’d be disgusted by me” she says as she twist her hands in her lap
“Well that will never be true” I tell her and hesitantly lean forward on the couch and grab her hand. She stills for just a second and relaxes.
“Thank you” I say and she looks at me- “For trusting me” I add
“Thank you for not giving up on me” she says
“Never in a hundred years” I smile and this time I get a slightly bigger one in return.
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Y/n’s POV
Jack and you are watching the conjuring series and eating pizza, after confessing to Jack, he refused to let you cook for him and insisted you guys just order dinner and relax. While waiting for the food to arrive you talked a little bit more and you decided to report Robby. Jack stayed quiet while you made this decision as he said he didn’t want to influence you one way or another. But he did say he would come down to the station with you tomorrow to press charges on Robby. And when you return to work that evening, he will be with you to report it to Gloria if you want, so you shoot her a quick text to her work phone to see if she has to talk before your shift tomorrow and she agrees.
So now it’s just you two, eating greasy pizza and watching crappy ghost movies as if your life isn’t about to change forever tomorrow. But with Jack on your side (and Lena and John- you started a group chat with the four of you to keep everyone informed) you have the support you know you’ll need to get through this.
Jack abbot x nurse!reader, past Robby x nurse!reader, platonic!John Shen x nurse!reader
Summary: reader continues therapy and tries to move on with her life. She finally tells someone close to her the truth
Warnings: Rape, Abuse, talks of abusive relationship, talks of therapy, medical inaccuracies, mental health,
Author note- my knowledge on mental health and therapy is strictly based on my own experience. In no ways am I an expert. So some stuff is probably inaccurate, or not true for most people!
Also- I tried the “read more” thing… so hopefully that works, not sure how I like it. But if it’s helpful, I’ll stick to it!
I write and post from my phone, so I’m only allowed 30 tags- so my warnings will only be in the beginning of my stories like they always been. Thank you and as always I appreciate feedback!!
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What no one tells you about therapy is that it’s exhausting. You would compare it to working a 12-hour shift in the ER. Every session you have with Sofia is incredibly taxing mentally and emotionally that you had to schedule your sessions for days off. Because the couple of times that you worked after your appointments, you found yourself spread thin. You were emotionally overwhelmed and overstimulated that anything could set you off.
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What made you decide to only go to therapy on days off was one evening after a particularly brutal session, John and you were at the hub catching up on some charting. John of course had his ice coffee and was minding his own business and you just got finished dealing with a drunk frat boy who is operating with a few brain cells. But you couldn’t focus on entering his vitals because all you can hear is the frat boy loudy chanting his fraternity anthem? Song? Whatever the hell it’s called and John slurping his now empty coffee. You can feel you eye twitching and your hands starting to shake and before you can try any of thr practice breathing you learned you snapped.
“Can you fucking stop? The cup is empty!” You all but yell at John who looks at you slightly guilty.
“Sorry-” he starts but you cut him off
“No youre not because you do it every fucking night. It’s like you magically hope coffee will appear the more you obnoxiously slurp the ice” you say
“Peaches-“
“Don’t. Just stop between you and American Idiol in there, I don’t know how anyone can get any fucking work done. How hard is it to ask for one fucking second?” You ask and you start to notice people are looking and John looks like you just kicked his dog. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Lena marching your way and you know you’re in big trouble.
“Y/n go take five” she says
“I’m fine-“ you start but she cuts you off
“That wasn’t a suggestion. I understand you are under stress and have a lot going on personally, but here? In this building, you are a nurse and Shen is an attending that you are to respect and not lash out on. Do you understand?” She scolds and you bite back tears as you nod.
“Go take 15. No 30, cool down and come back. You’re going to apologize to Shen too” she sends you off like a mother sending their child off to their bedroom. You offer a guilty look to John who returns it. Yup, you have a lot of explaining to do to him.
Walking away with your tail tucked between your legs, you make your way to your safe spot, not the old abandoned family room, but the spot Jack made safe for you, the roof.
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Jack’s pov
Watching Walsh and the rest of the surgery team wheel the patient up to the OR, I make my way out of the trauma room in hopes to find y/n. I haven’t talked to her too much tonight because it’s been busy, but there seems to be a lull now and I want to take advantage of it. I know it’s one of the tougher days because she had therapy before work and I know her sessions take a lot out on her.
I make my way to the hub where John and Lena are and lean against it.
“Have you seen y/n?” I asked while tapping the counter
“Break” Lena said and I looked at John who looks like his best friend just died and I got worried because y/n is his best friend.
“She snapped at Shen and I told her to cool off,” Lena told me and I nodded.
“Cover for me?” I asked John
“Will do boss, go talk to our girl. She needs someone right now” he offers me a small, slightly pitiful smile to which I return.
Since it’s warming up, she’s been hanging out on the roof more often instead of the old family room. So I figured I try my luck there first as I make my way to the elevator and down the short hallway to the three steps it takes to get to the door to the roof.
I smile as I see a grey scrub figure sitting on the ground leaning their head on the railing. I’m also happy knowing she’s on the safe of the railing. She must have heard my footsteps because she moves slightly over so that I could have more of the blanket she has. As I sit down she spoke up.
“I stole this from the blanket warmer. My feet are hurting and Lena told me to take 30, so I figured I would sit up and would probably want something with a little bit of a cushion” she explained
“Hey, I won’t tell if you won’t” I say softly as I settle beside her looking over the dark city,
We sit in silence for a few minutes before she speaks up again
“I can’t do therapy on work days. They’re too much and I’m too raw afterwards” she says and I nod
“Probably not a bad idea. I heard you snapped at Shen” I said
“Yeah. He was slurping the empty cup like he does every night, but tonight it was just to much. After being so vulnerable in therapy- having my emotions out in the open like that, it’s just hard to bring everything back in. So I feel everything a little extra” she explains
“You don’t have to keep it in, you know. You’re allowed to feel things” I tell her
“I know. It’s one of the things I’m working on. How to feel my emotions and how to identify them. How to unlearn bottling them up” she says
“I know I say it often, but I really am proud of you. You are putting in the work and I know it’s hard. I know you don’t like seeing yourself in this light, but you are doing great” I tell her and for the first time tonight, she looks at me. Her beautiful eyes are red and glossy. The dark circles are prominent from her sleep being interrupted today due to therapy. Her hair is clipped back, but there’s a few fly away and it’s a little frizzy. Her lips are slightly chapped and her bottom lip looks a little raw as if she’s been picking at it. But she’s still beautiful. She’s still my y/n.
“Thank you Jack” she says and I look at her confused
“For what?”
“For being you. Most people would have walked away by now knowing they were going to have to wait for someone to find themselves. So thank you for being you. Thank you for being one of the constant good in my life” she tells me and my heart breaks that she thought I would abandon her.
“I would wait forever if I had to y/n. You’re worth it. I meant what I said, I love you and I’m going to be whatever you are comfortable with me being” I tell her and she smiles and grabs my hand and turns to face the city again. No more words are spoken for the next 15 minutes of our breaks. Just y/n holding my hand and peacefully watching Pittsburgh begin to wake up.
Finally her alarm goes off and with a heavy sigh, we both heave ourselves off the ground and make our way back to the Pitt where night shift begins to prepare to do handoffs and finally go home and sleep.
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Y/n pov
When Jack and you come back downstairs, you snag John real fast and offer him a sincere apology that he quickly accepts. However, he needs to know the truth and Sofia said it could be a good idea to have people closest to you understand what happened so you can have a support system. John is your best friend, so you feel good that he is the first person to know. So you ask him to breakfast and he agrees. Happy that you apologize, you go and say sorry to Lena for being a brat which she shakes her head and tells you she’s sorry she was tough on you.
“Don’t be sorry Lena. You’re right, I need to leave my personal stuff out of here. Work is the one place I can count on escaping the hell that is my life, so I need to leave it at the doors. I’m sorry, I needed you to remind me” you laugh
“We all need a reminder sometimes. You don’t need to separate the two, but when it’s affecting your job, that’s when it becomes a problem. Plus I’ll always be here to kick you in the butt if needed” she smiles and gives you a side hug and you return it.
“You guys seem to be in good moods this morning. Good shift?” The horrible familiar voice breaks you and Lena apart. Robby is standing directly behind you guys putting his stuff down and taking off his jacket. Your body goes ridge next to Lena and she squeezes your shoulder
“It was a good night” she replied him and he hums and stares at you
“Y/n? Good shift?” He smiles that horrible smile and you just nod. The panic is cruising through your veins
Robby moves a little closer to you two and Lena subtly moves you just a hair behind her, nothing that would seem weird to anyone else, but something Robby notices
“Do you think I would hurt her?” He asks Lena, not taking his eyes off you
“You have before” she replied and he hums
“Is that what she told you?” He asks, still staring into your soul
“No. She hasn’t said anything, but it’s not hard to put two and two together” she seethes and he looks surprised and looks at Lena and back at you. You can’t move. You are clutching onto Lena’s scrubs like your life depends on it. And it’s this intense staring for another minute or two until someone is calling Robby’s name. He sighs and before he passes you he leans down
“Good girl” he whispers in your ear and you tremble. When he is gone, Lena relaxes, but you don’t. She turns to look at you and she sighs.
“What did he do to you honey?” She asks and you just shake your head and she pulls you in a hug.
Behind her you see John slowly walking up and looking worried and you stand up straight and wipe your eyes. You ask Lena if you can go and she tells you to leave and to enjoy breakfast. She makes John promise that he makes sure you actually eat something and he gives her the scout honors which causes her to roll her eyes.
As you guys leaves you catch Jack’s eyes and give him a small wave and he returns it with a wave and a smile.
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You’ve never seen John this angry before. You worked with him during Covid, so you’ve seen him deal with ignorant racist patients before. But never this angry, it’s almost scary. You just finished telling him about your relationship with Robby and you swear he’s seeing red.
“I’ve been fucking friendly with him this whole time! And turns out he’s a monster!” John almost yells
“John, I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I, I-“ your words start to jumble and John instantly softens
“Hey, hey, I’m not mad at you peaches. Sorry, I realized now how that sounded. I’m mad at Robby, he has everyone thinking he’s a great guy, but he’s a literal monster. You have to go to Gloria and the board” John says and you start to panic
“No no no I can’t. You’re the first person I told. I’m just now starting to get a grasp on what truly happened to John. I can’t do that right now. I can’t go against him” you almost cry, only stopping when you remember you’re in a restaurant
“Well at least your moody outburst make sense now” he tries to joke and you laugh
“I’m so sorry about that again. Officially no more sessions on work days” you promise and John smiles
“How hasn’t Jack killed him yet?” He asks
“Honestly no idea” you reply and you both softly laugh
You both sit there for a few more moments.
“Are you going to tell Jack?” John asks
“I mean yes I want to. But it’s hard. I mean look at how long it took me to build up the courage to tell you”
“True, but from the sounds of it, he’s understanding and he’s with you until the end” John says and you nod. John takes out his wallet to pay for breakfast
“I told you I got it” you said
“After the trauma dumping? It’s on me” he smiles and you laugh. Leave it to your best friends to find ways to make you laugh even during your darkest time.
As you two leave the restaurant and he drives you home, John asks if you are okay being alone and you told him you’re going to shower and pass out. You give him a quick hug and tell him you love him before he pulls away and you walk up to your house.
When you crawl into bed and plug your phone in you see a text from Jack.
Jackie: I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to stop Robby. I was in a trauma with Shen. But I sent him to get you as he said you two were going to breakfast. Are you okay? Did Robby say anything? Lena said you seemed a little shook up.
You: Sorry I’m just seeing this. You don’t have to apologize for doing your job! It was very thoughtful sending Shen to my rescue! Momma bear Lena was very protective though. He didn’t do anything other than stare and intimidate. I was a little shaken up, but better after talking with John.
Immediate response from Jack.
Jackie: Glad you are okay! I will always apologize if I can’t be there when you need me. I’m glad you are feeling better after breakfast! Get some rest and I’ll see you tonight
You: aye aye captain
Jack responded to your text with an eye rolling emoji making you smile. He has told you and John multiple times he doesn’t like being called captain, he thinks it’s because you two don’t know his military rank. But really it’s because one drunken night John and you stupidly said he could be captain morgan for Halloween and it’s become an inside joke between you guys.
After plugging your phone in, you tossed and turn for a it before finally letting sleep find you and for the first time in a while you had a nightmare-less sleep.
Jack abbot x nurse!reader, past Robby x nurse!reader,
Summary: reader goes to therapy and relives one of the worse memories she had with Robby
Warnings: Rape, Abuse, talks of abusive relationship, talks of therapy, medical inaccuracies, mental health,
Author note- my knowledge on mental health and therapy is strictly based on my own experience. In no ways am I an expert. So some stuff is probably inaccurate, or not true for most people!
This one might be a little shorter than my other chapters, but I also think it’s a little more intense.
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Sitting in the waiting room your leg is nerve racking. You don’t think your leg has stopped bouncing once since you sat down. Your stomach has been in knots all morning since you woke up, you have been too nauseous to eat breakfast or drink anything other than a couple sips of water in fear you would throw everything back up. Yes you were excited to be able to talk to someone about what you've been through, but you were also scared as hell.
Jack texted you once telling you good luck and that he was proud of you, but you were too anxious to reply. So you did the next best thing and reacted to his message with a heart. But as you sit her all jittery, you can’t help but wish you at least called Jack to hear his voice, for him to talk you down from this panic attack you are sure is brewing.
Thankfully after 20 minutes of waiting a woman calls your name. When you look up, you recognize her from the picture and see it’s Sofia. You grant her a small smile as you grab your purse and stand up. When you get close enough, you say hello as you follow her down to her space.
Her office is nice-It’s small, but open. She has a small desk and a couch for you to sit on. She has a window and asks if you prefer the main lights on or off, when you tell her off, she flips them off and the room is still bright with the natural light shining through and the warm lamps she has on either side of the lamps. Sofia also has her degrees hanging up beside her along with some pictures of what you assume are her pets. On the other walls of the office she has some motivational plaques that are borderline cheesy, but somehow are still encouraging.
Once you are settled on the couch Sofia smiles softly at you and asks you to tell her a little about yourself.
“Um im a night shift nurse, I’ve worked at PTMC since I graduated. Um, I live alone. Uh, I'm not too sure what else you want to know. I’m not too exciting of a person” you chuckle nervously
“That’s alright, we’ll get to know each other as the sessions continue. Tell me a bit about why you are here and what you are hoping for from these sessions” she says kindly. The way she talks, slowly, but not condescending is very relaxing and helps calm your nerves
“I just got out of a tough situation and I want to learn skills on how to work through it. I, um, also want to learn how to tell people close to me about what happened or at least learn how to let people in” you tell her as you sit with your hands in your lap. Wringing your fingers together, almost to the point where it hurts.
“What do you mean by tough situation?”- She asks and you look away. Trying to find the words but somehow you suddenly forgot how to speak- “it’s okay, take your time” she tells you and you nod.
You keep twisting your fingers and when you look down at them, you see that they are turning white from the pressure. Sofia also notices because she opens the top drawer of her desk and offers you a fidget toy you happily take it and play with it. Then you take a deep breathe
“I was in a relationship with a coworker, he works the day shift so we never really worked together. I ended up having to cover for a nurse for a few weeks. During that time Robby and I got close, but nothing I would say was unprofessional. I never viewed Robby as anything more than a work friend, even then that’s pushing it. But towards the end of my time on the day shift, he asked me out and said it’s not against policy for doctors and nurses to go out. And he told me the one person I actually like was unavailable. So I didn’t see what the harm of going on a couple dates was” you took a deep breath and let out a humorless chuckle
“But the dates never came. The first time he was over it was very clear it was just sex. Which was fine. But then he started getting more pushy on it and when I would say no, he would get mad. Then one night he said I owed it to him to have sex even if I didn’t want to. That was the night the relationship turned violent. There was no more sex, it was just rape. I tried fighting him, but it never did any good. He took and took from me. I lost the will to live, I stopped eating because he made me so sick. I lost myself. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize who I am. Which is why I don’t look in mirrors, I have all of them covered in my apartment.” You are crying now and Sofia gives you a sympathetic look
“Do you still work with him?”
“Unfortunately. But he’s in days and I’m on nights, so we only overlap at handoffs, but even then I don’t have to talk to him, I do handoffs with other nurses” you explain through sniffles
“And this other coworker, the one who actually has feelings about?”
“Yeah Jack, he's attending my shift. I’m really close to him. He knows a little about the situation, not the details, I refuse to tell him those”
“Why?” She asks
“Because I’m afraid once he sees the damage Robby did that he’ll walk away from me. That I’m not the same girl he knew a few months ago” you take a deep breath
“Had he given you any indication he would do that?”
“No” you reply and she nods
“Why don’t you look in the mirrors?” She asks
“I don’t like what I see” you tell her and she writes a few things down.
“Did he ever hit you?” She asks
“Sometimes, but that wasn’t as common as the sexual assault. If he was to get physical in the sense, he made sure to leave marks where no one would see” you tell her
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You had a week and half off to go back home and see some family and your best friend. Robby came over the night before you left, and this time he was drunk. When he tried initiating sex, you refused like always and he didn’t like that one so much so he slapped you across the face. When you looked at him stunned he just smiled at you and then pulled you closer to him.
You tried pushing him away, but he grabbed your hands and threw you to the ground and landed a good kick to your stomach.
“Why must we always do this dance y/n?” He seethes and you do nothing but whimper as you attempt to crawl away. Robby grabbed you by your hair and hauled you back up and when you looked at him, you never saw this Robby. He looks at you with disgust as he throws you back to the ground.
“You really need to learn that what we have here is good. We both get what we want. I get decent sex and you get attention. Yes yes I know I’m not your precious Jack, but I’m better than nothing. You could be alone, but you’re not, you have me” he smiles down at you as he crouches to brush some hair out of your face. When he does, you find this the opportunity to spit in his face in hopes to get away from him. But wrong move, his face contorts in anger as he pulls his fist back and lands a firm punch to your face.You scream out in pain. You feel blood gushing from your nose and see it drip on the floor.
“Do you like seeing me mad?!” -He roars- “does it get you going or something?” He asks and you whimper again in fear of what you know is coming. However, Robby misunderstood this whimper, or he simply doesn’t care, as a wicked smirk crosses his face.
“Of course you like it. A little slut like you likes pain doesn’t she?” He asks as he lands a kick to your stomach causing you to turn in on yourself. He grabs your ankle and arm and pulls up and over his shoulder as he carries you to your room.
He throws you in your bed and rips your pants and underwear off in one go. He flips you onto your stomach and grabs you by your hair.
“You’re such a dirty slut, you know that? Wonder what your Jack would think if he knew how rough you liked it?” He seethes in your ear before he roughly pushes you back down.
You are trying to push his hands away from you, but every time you move, pain radiates through your ribs and body. Robby grabs your hips and pulls you to the end of the bed. But it’s different this time. Robby is pushing in somewhere else and you are instantly jolting away and shrieking out loud no’s.
“Oh yes, come on, we haven’t done it this way yet. My dirty girl would love this” he says and he pulls your hips back
“Robby please no! Please no” you try pleading, but it falls on deaf ears as he rams himself into your never been used hole.
You scream, but Robby hands covers your mouth as he tells you to shut up. You're crying and still trying to plead with him, but he’s not listening. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire. Between the ache in your face, your stomach and ribs, and now your lower body you thought for sure you were going to die. Robby has never been this violent and you were utterly scared.
When he finished, he removed his hand from your mouth, pulled up his pants and walked toward the door. But before he left he turned to look at you-
“I’m the only one who will love you now. Do you think Jack would want anything to do with you now? No one will want my damaged goods. You are mine and mine alone. You ever try leaving me or saying anything, I’ll do a lot worse than I did tonight” he says as he turns around and leaves.
You lay there for a few moments waiting to hear the front door slam before you are bawling. After about 20 minutes, you wobble your way to your bathroom and look in the mirror, your face is puffed up and bruised, but not too badly as he only hit you once. You slowly pull your t-shirt off and cry. Your skin is covered in dark spots and bumps. You gently touch your ribs and flinch at the feel and know they are broken.
You turn your bath on and submerged yourself in hot, almost too hot water and pray for the ache to go away. You call your friend while you are in the bath and tell her you are sick and can’t come home. Thankfully due to your crying, it makes it believable that you are ill.
While in the tub, you look at the straight razor on your sink and debate if Robby is right, are you even worth it even more? Are you still lovable?
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After you finish talking, it’s silent. Sofia writing down a few notes, but really you are just processing
“I’m sorry you had to go through that” she finally said and you just nodded.
When you looked at the clock on the wall, you realized you only had a few more minutes left of your session and Sofia gave you only one assignment. Do some self care. This was a big first step and you did a lot in your first session. So she wants you to do something for you, let your body and your mind relax.
She also wants to schedule you again for later in the week. She states she wants to see you twice a week to begin and you’ll go from there. She also advised you to get some fidget toys or something of that nature to safe your poor hands from your nervous picking and twisting.
When you were down, she walked you down the hallway where you thanked her and she said to take care and she'll see you later this week. You walked to the receptionist and scheduled your next appointment.
I can’t find the ask anymore and I did reply to it, but I don’t like my reply, so I thought I was editing it, but accidentally deleted it.
They asked me to add a read more to my “Any Kind of Love” story because Robby is extremely out of character. And they didn’t want to scroll through the whole story to see the tags. But when I look at my post they all have “see more” that I have to click to that to read my writings.
But since I am relatively new to this, I don’t know wha they are referring to the “read more” option. Also I put warnings before my story of what each chapter includes. I don’t put it in the tags, should I be doing that as well?
I personally thought the ask was kind of rude the way the told me that the way I wrote Robby is out of character (and it is!) but like they have the option not to read it. But am I doing it wrong by not tagging it? I thought by putting the warning before the actual writing was okay.
Any suggestions???
Also side note- Robby is a fictional character. Just because I chose to write him this way for one story doesn’t make it wrong. I’ve read plenty of stories where Robby and Jack ate screwing their step-daughters or faux-incest and I feel like that’s ooc for them. But I choose to appreciate the way the writers envision these characters and enjoy their work.
Jack abbot x nurse!reader, past Robby x nurse!reader,
Summary: reader goes to therapy and relives one of the worse memories she had with Robby
Warnings: Rape, Abuse, talks of abusive relationship, talks of therapy, medical inaccuracies, mental health,
Author note- my knowledge on mental health and therapy is strictly based on my own experience. In no ways am I an expert. So some stuff is probably inaccurate, or not true for most people!
This one might be a little shorter than my other chapters, but I also think it’s a little more intense.
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Sitting in the waiting room your leg is nerve racking. You don’t think your leg has stopped bouncing once since you sat down. Your stomach has been in knots all morning since you woke up, you have been too nauseous to eat breakfast or drink anything other than a couple sips of water in fear you would throw everything back up. Yes you were excited to be able to talk to someone about what you've been through, but you were also scared as hell.
Jack texted you once telling you good luck and that he was proud of you, but you were too anxious to reply. So you did the next best thing and reacted to his message with a heart. But as you sit her all jittery, you can’t help but wish you at least called Jack to hear his voice, for him to talk you down from this panic attack you are sure is brewing.
Thankfully after 20 minutes of waiting a woman calls your name. When you look up, you recognize her from the picture and see it’s Sofia. You grant her a small smile as you grab your purse and stand up. When you get close enough, you say hello as you follow her down to her space.
Her office is nice-It’s small, but open. She has a small desk and a couch for you to sit on. She has a window and asks if you prefer the main lights on or off, when you tell her off, she flips them off and the room is still bright with the natural light shining through and the warm lamps she has on either side of the lamps. Sofia also has her degrees hanging up beside her along with some pictures of what you assume are her pets. On the other walls of the office she has some motivational plaques that are borderline cheesy, but somehow are still encouraging.
Once you are settled on the couch Sofia smiles softly at you and asks you to tell her a little about yourself.
“Um im a night shift nurse, I’ve worked at PTMC since I graduated. Um, I live alone. Uh, I'm not too sure what else you want to know. I’m not too exciting of a person” you chuckle nervously
“That’s alright, we’ll get to know each other as the sessions continue. Tell me a bit about why you are here and what you are hoping for from these sessions” she says kindly. The way she talks, slowly, but not condescending is very relaxing and helps calm your nerves
“I just got out of a tough situation and I want to learn skills on how to work through it. I, um, also want to learn how to tell people close to me about what happened or at least learn how to let people in” you tell her as you sit with your hands in your lap. Wringing your fingers together, almost to the point where it hurts.
“What do you mean by tough situation?”- She asks and you look away. Trying to find the words but somehow you suddenly forgot how to speak- “it’s okay, take your time” she tells you and you nod.
You keep twisting your fingers and when you look down at them, you see that they are turning white from the pressure. Sofia also notices because she opens the top drawer of her desk and offers you a fidget toy you happily take it and play with it. Then you take a deep breathe
“I was in a relationship with a coworker, he works the day shift so we never really worked together. I ended up having to cover for a nurse for a few weeks. During that time Robby and I got close, but nothing I would say was unprofessional. I never viewed Robby as anything more than a work friend, even then that’s pushing it. But towards the end of my time on the day shift, he asked me out and said it’s not against policy for doctors and nurses to go out. And he told me the one person I actually like was unavailable. So I didn’t see what the harm of going on a couple dates was” you took a deep breath and let out a humorless chuckle
“But the dates never came. The first time he was over it was very clear it was just sex. Which was fine. But then he started getting more pushy on it and when I would say no, he would get mad. Then one night he said I owed it to him to have sex even if I didn’t want to. That was the night the relationship turned violent. There was no more sex, it was just rape. I tried fighting him, but it never did any good. He took and took from me. I lost the will to live, I stopped eating because he made me so sick. I lost myself. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize who I am. Which is why I don’t look in mirrors, I have all of them covered in my apartment.” You are crying now and Sofia gives you a sympathetic look
“Do you still work with him?”
“Unfortunately. But he’s in days and I’m on nights, so we only overlap at handoffs, but even then I don’t have to talk to him, I do handoffs with other nurses” you explain through sniffles
“And this other coworker, the one who actually has feelings about?”
“Yeah Jack, he's attending my shift. I’m really close to him. He knows a little about the situation, not the details, I refuse to tell him those”
“Why?” She asks
“Because I’m afraid once he sees the damage Robby did that he’ll walk away from me. That I’m not the same girl he knew a few months ago” you take a deep breath
“Had he given you any indication he would do that?”
“No” you reply and she nods
“Why don’t you look in the mirrors?” She asks
“I don’t like what I see” you tell her and she writes a few things down.
“Did he ever hit you?” She asks
“Sometimes, but that wasn’t as common as the sexual assault. If he was to get physical in the sense, he made sure to leave marks where no one would see” you tell her
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
You had a week and half off to go back home and see some family and your best friend. Robby came over the night before you left, and this time he was drunk. When he tried initiating sex, you refused like always and he didn’t like that one so much so he slapped you across the face. When you looked at him stunned he just smiled at you and then pulled you closer to him.
You tried pushing him away, but he grabbed your hands and threw you to the ground and landed a good kick to your stomach.
“Why must we always do this dance y/n?” He seethes and you do nothing but whimper as you attempt to crawl away. Robby grabbed you by your hair and hauled you back up and when you looked at him, you never saw this Robby. He looks at you with disgust as he throws you back to the ground.
“You really need to learn that what we have here is good. We both get what we want. I get decent sex and you get attention. Yes yes I know I’m not your precious Jack, but I’m better than nothing. You could be alone, but you’re not, you have me” he smiles down at you as he crouches to brush some hair out of your face. When he does, you find this the opportunity to spit in his face in hopes to get away from him. But wrong move, his face contorts in anger as he pulls his fist back and lands a firm punch to your face.You scream out in pain. You feel blood gushing from your nose and see it drip on the floor.
“Do you like seeing me mad?!” -He roars- “does it get you going or something?” He asks and you whimper again in fear of what you know is coming. However, Robby misunderstood this whimper, or he simply doesn’t care, as a wicked smirk crosses his face.
“Of course you like it. A little slut like you likes pain doesn’t she?” He asks as he lands a kick to your stomach causing you to turn in on yourself. He grabs your ankle and arm and pulls up and over his shoulder as he carries you to your room.
He throws you in your bed and rips your pants and underwear off in one go. He flips you onto your stomach and grabs you by your hair.
“You’re such a dirty slut, you know that? Wonder what your Jack would think if he knew how rough you liked it?” He seethes in your ear before he roughly pushes you back down.
You are trying to push his hands away from you, but every time you move, pain radiates through your ribs and body. Robby grabs your hips and pulls you to the end of the bed. But it’s different this time. Robby is pushing in somewhere else and you are instantly jolting away and shrieking out loud no’s.
“Oh yes, come on, we haven’t done it this way yet. My dirty girl would love this” he says and he pulls your hips back
“Robby please no! Please no” you try pleading, but it falls on deaf ears as he rams himself into your never been used hole.
You scream, but Robby hands covers your mouth as he tells you to shut up. You're crying and still trying to plead with him, but he’s not listening. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire. Between the ache in your face, your stomach and ribs, and now your lower body you thought for sure you were going to die. Robby has never been this violent and you were utterly scared.
When he finished, he removed his hand from your mouth, pulled up his pants and walked toward the door. But before he left he turned to look at you-
“I’m the only one who will love you now. Do you think Jack would want anything to do with you now? No one will want my damaged goods. You are mine and mine alone. You ever try leaving me or saying anything, I’ll do a lot worse than I did tonight” he says as he turns around and leaves.
You lay there for a few moments waiting to hear the front door slam before you are bawling. After about 20 minutes, you wobble your way to your bathroom and look in the mirror, your face is puffed up and bruised, but not too badly as he only hit you once. You slowly pull your t-shirt off and cry. Your skin is covered in dark spots and bumps. You gently touch your ribs and flinch at the feel and know they are broken.
You turn your bath on and submerged yourself in hot, almost too hot water and pray for the ache to go away. You call your friend while you are in the bath and tell her you are sick and can’t come home. Thankfully due to your crying, it makes it believable that you are ill.
While in the tub, you look at the straight razor on your sink and debate if Robby is right, are you even worth it even more? Are you still lovable?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
After you finish talking, it’s silent. Sofia writing down a few notes, but really you are just processing
“I’m sorry you had to go through that” she finally said and you just nodded.
When you looked at the clock on the wall, you realized you only had a few more minutes left of your session and Sofia gave you only one assignment. Do some self care. This was a big first step and you did a lot in your first session. So she wants you to do something for you, let your body and your mind relax.
She also wants to schedule you again for later in the week. She states she wants to see you twice a week to begin and you’ll go from there. She also advised you to get some fidget toys or something of that nature to safe your poor hands from your nervous picking and twisting.
When you were down, she walked you down the hallway where you thanked her and she said to take care and she'll see you later this week. You walked to the receptionist and scheduled your next appointment.
