Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
occasionally subtle
taylor price
Xuebing Du
ojovivo
Sweet Seals For You, Always
cherry valley forever
★
almost home
Misplaced Lens Cap
Sade Olutola
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
No title available
tannertan36
untitled
titsay
Claire Keane
Game of Thrones Daily
The Bowery Presents
seen from Luxembourg
seen from Ecuador
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from T1
seen from Belarus
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Singapore
seen from El Salvador
seen from Italy
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from Niger
@abeamishthreadofpoems-blog
Lib Dem Conference
The Lib Dems had a conference in Glasgow, Nick Clegg and Vince Cable were both in attendance. Unfortunately no one else turned up. Cable had forgot to invite people to the party on Facebook. Clegg gave his speech anyway and Cable gave him a standing ovation. Afterwards they went to the Harvester and spooned in Holiday Inn.
Labour Conference
The Labour party had a conference in Manchester. Ed Miliband had invited David, but he locked himself in the bathroom so he didn't have to go. Instead Ed went alone and he was fuck off nervous. When it came to giving his speech he pissed his pants on stage. All the conservatives had come in disguise and laughed at Miliband. Luckily David came, brought Ed a spare pair of trousers and took him to Pizza Hut afterwards.
Wasting Time
There are many ways to waste time. As I will show you in this rhyme. But the best way to procrastinate Is to have a good ol' fashioned masturbate.
Bad Dream (not a nightmare)
Stuart woke up at 5am. He had only been asleep for an hour. He went upstairs to his kitchen. Here he ate some left over penne (cooked but cold). Stuart then woke up again and realised it was all a dream. 'What a bad dream' he said to himself. 'Why the fuck would my kitchen be upstairs'
Gang Rape #NotCool
Gang rape is a serious issue. When I am finished you will need a tissue. To clean up those tears, As I will destroy those fears, Of those muscly men Who aim to pen- -atrate you. Your anus is sacred. That's why you should never wander the streets naked.
The Great Planes
There are many forms of transport, Is what I was taught. But the best is aeroplane or at least I thought. However, you will be left distraught. When it inevitably blows up.
A Limerick for a Moth
Upon seeing a moth I thought 'fuck it'. So without thinking I took it. 'Twas a practicing goth, Was this scary old moth. So I drowned it in a bucket.
The Garden
Grant would enjoy fixing up his garden. To such an extent it would give him a hard on
Tories Conference
All the Tories went to Birmingham for their conference. They had a bouncy castle, a clown and cotton candy machines. Then Spandau Ballet did the halftime show and David Cameron pissed himself in excitement. But there was a serious message to all this beneath the fun. However George Osborne never made this message clear. Unless the message was Miliband is a tosser. In that case the conference was a huge success.
A Haiku 4 Matt
I really hate Matt, He is a total cock-end And a complete twat.
The Wrong Class
Dave walked into the classroom. He looked around the class and saw it wasn't his class. Everyone from the year 9 class was laughing at him. He then realised he also had an erection. Dave walked back out the class embarrassed and checked his timetable. It was a free period, Dave felt like a complete fool. Two weeks later he was put on the sex offenders list.
Gay?
Is it gay, To love Matthew McConaughey I say, Nay (no).
The Boardroom
Karen (Brady) and Alan (Sugar) were sat in the boardroom.
They were waiting for 'The Apprentice' candidates to arrive.
Karen stared at Sugar and then flashed her thigh to him.
'Hold my calls' Sugar said to his assistant over the phone.
Karen walked over to Sugar and unfastened his trousers.
'I fucking love Amstrad DVD players.' Whispered Karen.
This really got Sugar going and he ripped off Karen's blouse.
Nick Hewer then strolled in from his lunch break.
He had been to the cafe in the nearby BHS.
Karen and Sugar stared at Nick then proceeded to put their clothes back on.
MSN
"So whats your MSN address" asked [email protected]
"You got a webcam?" he added.
Alas, there was no response from BigTittedBikerGal1979.
So Neil left the chatroom and fucked his Hoover.
The Claim
"Greg did you just sexually harass me"
Exclaimed Paula.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess I did."
Replied Greg
Lesbians on a train
Lesbians on the train at night.
Lesbians on the train in the morn.
Lesbians to my left, Lesbians to my right.
Unfortunately, not like the lesbians in porn.
TA
In a bid to get more pussy
Nick joined the Territorial Army.
Three days later his wife left him, he was diagnosed with bowel cancer and discharged.