ABeautifuldisaster

[abeautifuldisaster2023]

Ended up finding this baby bird , while I was in Lewiston it was about my third day . I welcomed his presence and felt this was a very spiritual message . This baby bird was a fledging , otherwise known as a bird just learning to fly ❤️

I believe it to be a baby crow ,I did my best to keep him safe and protected , and wish I had the ability to keep him and watch him grow . Unfortunately this is not possible , as I have to go in and out of business like the library , and other places that I would not be able to bring a bird into and I’m not trained or Knowledgeable in rehabilitation.

I contacted area contacts , such as Mr Drew and his animals too , but they are not certified to take in wild birds and revered me to Acadia Wildlife , who ended up picking him up the next day . I’m hoping they will keep in contact and keep me updated on his progress .

Note to self : in the future when I have my own place , I would love to help animals rehabilitate, if I can . I would of loved to have kept this bird , he was truly the cutest .He certainly had his own personality and the best thing about him /her were the eyebrows !

❤️❤️❤️

[abeautifuldisaster2023]

I haven’t updated here because I was posting on my fb , here are some updates : I’ve been homeless and living /staying outside in Lewiston/Auburn . This is my first time EVER having to live outside homeless and it’s taking some time getting used to ! I feel in my heart because of my bio parents and my ancestry , Im capable of surviving this , as my birth father lived on the streets . He actually wrote about the plight of homelessness and hoped that I his works would help others give a better understanding, of homeless individuals.

I never met my birth father , and he passed away before I could . I never got to see his writing , but his obituary says that he wrote about homelessness .

It’s no wonder where I get my love of writing from , I wish that I could read his work and somehow collaborate with it . But this will suffice for now , and I too hope my writing gives another perspective.

I’ve always loved humanities , and I’m confident that my struggles will only make me stronger , wiser , and more knowledgeable so I can help others someday .

This was the morning after my second night .

[abeautifuldisaster2023]

View from great falls Auburn Sunday morning

Out here I’m on my own , and it’s honestly an experience that is unlike any other. Being homeless really makes you realize that material possessions are just that , although I’m sad I’m generally not in discontent. One day at a time .

[abeautifuldisaster2023]

[abeautifuldisaster2023]

Just started this new blog as I lost my other one due to my phone being stolen and I can’t remember the password 😞,

This one will be about my life and my current experiences. I’m 36 years old and I am indigenous . I was placed into foster care as a baby and adopted so I’ve never really been connected to my culture , and never set foot on a reservation .

I’ve faced many struggles in my life , and have dealt with discrimination-hate most unknowingly (I just always thought there was something wrong with me ). I recently lost my child due to forced removal by DHHS and feel the pain immensely . As generational trauma from my ancestors before me faced this .

I have been dealing with hate and discrimination in my town for years , and most recently feel discriminated by our police departments. I lost my apartment while incarcerated for 2 months in our county jail . (And I was arrested by a police officer who said I was intoxicated but never even breathalyzer me , released on bail and re-arrested for the same violation via warranted and unnecessarily jailed ) As a result I lost everything I owned in my apartment .

I was fortunate to have some help from family and friends when I got out , to get me some cloths and moral support.

The case manager at the jail failed to help me with referrals to homeless shelters, or a brap voucher despite my asking , he wanted to wait until we got closer to court date which was 6/20. I was let out of jail unexpectedly, with no where to go and little resources .

My child is in the care of his paternal family and I’m fighting DHHS to get my child back . I have alot of barriers , and over the top requirements to get my child back and DHHS never went over my reunification plan with me , and designated requirements without my input .

I miss my child immensely and I can not describe the pain that I feel , being without my child ,and not being able to be there for him .

( In my eyes , DHHS are certified kidnappers)

They judge by what they read on paper , without getting to know the parent or understand life struggles . Im by no means a perfect parent , but I loved my child deeply and was a good mom. My child is now traumatized by the force removal . He had also just lost his father 6 months prior and DHHS should of done everything they could to avoid removal . (I was on waitlists for counseling and case management for months )

My child was taken after reports of concerns of my “mental health “ after losing my child’s father to overdose in April of 2022 (we were not together )

My story is filled with hurt , pain , trauma , and loss . But I am determined to turn it around and get my child back although facing significant barriers to do so .