a beer to the back of the head

i listen to music you don't know. i watch a lot of food network. i drink cheap beer. i fight off zombies in my free time. and i almost have a masters degree. chicago!

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how much postage do you think an envelope full of gum needs? will 3 forever stamps cover it?

me, a question i just asked a co-worker. seriously, if anyone knows, let me know.

[parksandrecgifs]

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the turducken has landed! gobble gobble! quack quack! cluck cluck!

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Two terabytes?!? Man, gigabytes just aren't good enough for you people anymore.

my co-worker after seeing our new externals. so true.

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can't wait for joe biden to rip off his shirt, pound out 50 pushups, then go all h.a.m. on the debate tonight.

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dating problems.....

me: i think i found a strike against "music xxxxx." no iphone. i shouldn't hold this against her right?

cw: hmmmm, what kind of phone does she have? is it a flip phone? man i hope so.

me: lol no sure. but our texts don't turn blue. so it's either an iPhone 3G or a flip. lord help me if she has a blackberry.

cw: haha, or worse yet a blueberry or huckleberry. for shame!

me: God dating is hard.....

cw: don't mess this up "music xxxxx" or else!

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"the show starts at 10? on a school night?!? yeah probably not."

so i'm like elderly now.

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superchunk reference.....

me: do you think "digging for something" is about someone picking their nose?

ryan: i'd like to think that it's about something a little deeper than that, but i'm not entirely sure.

[popculturebrain]

Blink-182 Made Fun of One Direction 11 Years Before They Existed | BuzzFeed

[kinnickinnicer]

Excellent use of screengrabs.

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OH MAN

new found glory is doing a "sticks and stones" tour. might just have to go and be the creepy old dude in the back.

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so yeah, a bunch of smashed up cars down the street from my apt..... (Taken with Instagram)

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and here's my Sunday night..... (Taken with Instagram at Ultra Lounge)

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nick offerman dominating reddit right now

user: When you play monopoly, which piece do you choose to represent you on the board, and why?

nick offerman: I choose the thimble because no matter where I roam, you can't prick my motherfuckin' thumb with your bitch-ass Scottie Dog. Can I cuss on here?

pure domination.

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My playlist starts with AC/DC and ends with Zeppelin.

Paul Ryan's way to connect with younger voters. Well done sir! Because my friends and me, all late-20ish, we listen to AC/DC and Led Zeppelin ALL the time.

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my morning jacket covering rocket man (Taken with Instagram)

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Jim James performing with Band of Horses. (Taken with Instagram)

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bacon topped long john! (Taken with Instagram)