Til then, live by your pen.

Fil-Am writer/spoken word artist/pupil of the world, with a Youtube page, and a million other hustles.

[abetspeaks]

Happy 33rd Birthday, @jeffmabi! I thank God every day for blessing me w/ such an amazing husband & lifelong friend. Thank you for everything you do! For your unparalleled patience & understanding. For the silly moments & deep conversations. For bringing "balance" to my life in so many different ways 😊 #LibraSzn♎️. I love you, handsome! Can't wait to continue the festivities this weekend. You deserve all celebration we can possibly fit into our schedules lol. ❤️ #PippenBirthday #FavoriteDJ (at Roka Akor Oak Brook) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3VxXmwl9cOta9m7pqMs_YEw_o8Z9-EwCXvv4k0/?igshid=12xkwvc7oxpdt

[abetspeaks]

I am so excited to be sharing a piece this Saturday at Berl's Brooklyn Poetry Shop! I'll be joining other talented Asian-American artists in a reading curated by my amazing cousin, @eintervital. We will each be sharing an artwork (poem, spoken word, comic, etc.) inspired by a fortune we picked earlier this year--hence "Eileen's Fortune Cookie Reading." 😊 I know this is a dream come true for my cousin, and I'm beyond honored that she's allowing me to take part. ❤️ If you're in Brooklyn/NYC this Saturday from 3-5pm, please come by to enjoy some incredible poetry/art/culture! Poster created by fellow reader, Yuri: https://ello.co/yuricraft p.s. It's seriously awesome having another writer in the family! 🙌🤗

[abetspeaks]

Because shit hasn’t really changed since 2009. Other than the fact that I don’t have that yellow hoodie anymore. #KanyeShrug

[abetspeaks]

2017

When I first started writing and performing, I was at the pinnacle of my pain. I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t thinking right. And most of all, I wasn’t choosing happiness. What most, if not all, people at my shows didn’t realize was that they were saving me from my isolation. I couldn’t explain how it felt to write a piece at my parents’ house at 3am, the world asleep as I typed–tears falling…

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[gobblechopstv]

[nprfreshair]

This is a time when journalism, obviously, is much maligned at the moment. People say that they don’t trust much of what they read in the media and they really don’t have much respect for journalism, and yet at the same time, journalism has been historically one of the ways that presidents have been brought to account. Were it not for journalism, Richard Nixon and the break-in at the Watergate would never have been discovered. … I do find that among people in Washington who write about politics and think about it, we feel like this is exactly the kind of work that we were trained to do. This is exactly the kind of thing we all set out to do, which is to say, we work for the public. Our job here is to hold people in power accountable, and we’re going to do the best we can to do it.

Evan Osnos, staff writer for The New Yorker, speaking with Terry Gross (via nprfreshair)

[abetspeaks]

This inauguration makes me feel like

That time in college when I was in J-school, and my white male professor told my class that Asians weren't a minority. The irony of it was--I was the only fucking Asian in the class? Maybe like one of 20 (don't quote me because I don't care to remember) in the whole news-editorial program. That made me feel like I didn't belong. Like the strides I had made to follow my passion for writing, despite the constant barrage of ", You should be a nurse" or "You should be a lawyer," was all in vain. I will never forget the smug-ass face he made when he talked about how many Asians there were on campus. How it's not the same. How he just put us, put me, under same umbrella like I wasn't a Filipino American whose mother grew up in the streets of Olongapo City and was the first person on her block to receive a college diploma and my father, who's from Tagudin, Ilocos Sur, didn't have to grow up in a town where political assassination was an every day occurrence and he and his cousins knew how to take cover from bullets before they even reached middle school. He proliferated the model minority myth in front of my mostly white class (not surprising at a institute of "higher learning)" and erased my whole fucking history. That's what it feels like to me today. - Abet "This inauguration makes me feel like" will be my ongoing series of free writes the whole weekend. After that, it'll be "This presidency makes me feel like." Please feel free to share your own experiences. You're not alone.

[abetspeaks]

my heart doesn’t speak,

it screams, and sings notes so sharp they pierce skin and bone, makes my blood flow upstream not down.

my heart doesn’t pound, it slams into my chest, creates a reverberating vest of her cries, his protests, that protect me from bullets projected from guns, triggers pulled by white men in suits, particularly blue.

my heart doesn’t speak or reason or calm down or calm up  (whatever the fuck! direction it goes) my heart won’t be put to bed by a nation’s complacence to eat cake.

I will fend, fight never flee to give my heart the sustenance it needs and deserves, feed it poems and words, healing and herbs, paintings that curve beyond the horizon up into the heavens.

my heart doesn’t. it does. i do (it for the cause)

respectfully, abet speaks/fights/resists/reclaims her anger

[abetspeaks]

Don't let fear be the reason you run. Let it be the reason you stay. Because if there's anything I've learned, it's that vulnerability is a vehicle for strength. We are in this together, fam. We will cry, we will build, we will fight this together. Love trumps hate, always.

[abetspeaks]

*cell rings*

Me: Hello?

Mom: We're testing your daddy's phone. It wasn't working.

Me: Okay?

Mom: Okay call you back. Bye.

*30 seconds later*

Me: Hello? Ma, I'm at work.

Mom: Ay shet, this phone sucks.

Dad: Hi, babe!

Me: 😐

Mom: Your daddy's phone is sumpong! (Tagalog for "moody")

*inaudible chatter, & probably TFC in the background*

Me: Well. I gotta go back to work. Bye!

Dad: Bye, babe!

*click*

My parents. I could be in a multimillion dollar meeting, and it still wouldn't matter. They. Will. Call. Love them to pieces though.

[abetspeaks]

Lol abetsnapz x pharrell, my imaginary side boo.

[abetspeaks]

Fridays with absolutely no plans >

[abetspeaks]

Today is the day I go see Prince in concert. It is the day I finally become a woman… or something like that.  (I can’t wait to see my older cousins/sister go crazy.) 

[abetspeaks]

Such an incredible experience. Glad I got to see him live before he passed. Will never forget how vibrant and electric that performance was. It was an experience like no other. Thank you for the music, the artistry, and the magic. RIP Prince. Forever missed and mourned.

[abetspeaks]

to be a female in the “industry” means dealing with bullshit like pet names: beautiful, baby, babe, honey, hun.  it means being mistaken as pretty face with fragile bones: “so here’s the deal, we’re looking for a beautiful asian woman. you won’t have to do anything. just hold onto his arm like an escort.” (like an escort?) it means surprising everyone with the first word that comes out of your mouth. “i wasn’t expecting that from you.” (but why not?) to be a female in the industry, you have to believe that your body is a vessel for all the gifts you’ve inherited from your mother, your mother’s mother, so on and so forth. a vessel for all the clay that will one day be molded into art: song, dance, picture, or words. your body alone does not define who you are, no matter how much it is praised or put down. your face may look sweet but you are not confined to the territory of flowers, hearts, and cupcakes. (although I do love cupcakes…) 

To be a female in the industry, you have to believe that you are allowed to go wherever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want to. You (I) must take control of yourself (myself) or the industry will do that job for you (me). 

[abetspeaks]

Years later, and this is still incredibly relevant. Hello, 25 y/o Abet. Despite all the crazy sh*t you got yourself into, you sure did come correct at times.

[abetspeaks]

#HappySaturday #ripnatedogg

[abetspeaks]

Mood I do not look happy wearing that turtleneck sweater. And I'm pretty sure I'm making a fist w/ my left hand. 😂 #SweaterTurtleNeckGang (p.s. Thanks for all the bday greetings yesterday! I swear I looked happier than this photo. Lol 😊)

[abetspeaks]

Happiness is a choice. And I choose it on the daily.