(I couldn’t resist so I’m making another one!)
1. Imagine Jim living in a neighborhood full of wealthy old women and their obnoxious families. Jim having to deal with the Drama™ from disgruntle children who think that “Nan shouldn’t be living by herself in this big house,” or the money-hungry children who suck up to the elderly ladies i hopes to get into their will.
The elderly ladies taking refuge from their crazy families with the “young professor who lives by his lonesome, who is slightly scary and has threatened several family members already, but is oddly charming and makes the best Black Pudding this side of London”
The ladies bringing all sorts of goodies for Jim and holding an annual housewarming party for everyone, which Jim, of course plans and sets up because he may be the most dangerous man in London, but he’ll be damned if he misses Mrs. Smith’s homemade pie or the minced meat pie at Christmas time.
Jim going to funerals after one of the has had a heart attack and consoling the other grieving ladies and taking care of (threatening to dismember and maim) the power and money hungry family members who don’t care about his friend at all.
2. Imagine Jim going to his tailor (who gush about him to their coworkers not so secretly) to have the latest seasons fashion trend fitted because between fooling around with Sherlock Holmes (who he totally dresses for) and planning murders, heists, and blackmailing people, Jim Moriarty does stay up on the current fashion trends. Even though his Main Squeeze doesn’t appreciate the fine made silk suits he wears, he will wear the latest suit design from Alexander McQueen, thank you very much!
3. Imagine Jim going to an exclusive posh gym where he swims twice a week and deals with the uppity annoying rich men who are far too tan and have way too many Botox injections to have a stable family life. Jim having to put up with it because despite what Sherlock Holmes thinks about the Carl powers case and whether or not he can actually swim or not, Jim Moriarty does in fact love to swim and the side bits about a certain senator’s affair with that blonde makes it all the more sweeter.
Jim trying to not stab the receptionist lady in the eye with a pen, that is sitting on the desk and “Oh it would be so easy” when she fucks up his account and charges him double for the month.
Jim making polite conversation with the weird old man who is far too nude and far too flamboyant for his tastes who just keeps talking. Jim trying to nicely back out of the conversation and mentally planning his murder as well.
4. Imagine Jim having to deal with the embarrassment and aftermath of Sherlock Holmes finding and contacting his mother (whom he loves very dearly) and being very protective of her because of the abuse they endured from his “father” (who is dead now mysteriously). Jim being mortified and slightly angry when his mother very publicly tells Mycroft Holmes off for hurting her baby boy.
His mother taking interest in Sherlock Holmes and Jim trying discreetly to dissuade her from becoming acquainted with the man, which she ignores of course and tells Sherlock all about Jim’s childhood and how he was “very misunderstood in school and has always had a brilliant mind for astrophysics and maths”. Jim being shocked when Sherlock agrees and when she asks him over for dinner and
“Oh shut up Séamus and let the good looking man come over. He is clearly interested in you.”
…and big resounding sigh from Jim. “First off Mum it’s Jim. Secondly, I have. For five years. The dolt doesn’t understand.”
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