yesterday when i drove by your HOUSE the sign out front said that you’re moving out i know why you’d wanna leave this town but if you wanna talk i’m better now i’m ready to fall in love again i’m ready to call you up again i’m ready to talk and be your friend i’m ready to fall in love
mimi laughs, pulling her phone away and tucking it behind her, “get over them real quick! they’re mockups, abi. by the second draft they’ll look completely different.”
she pulls a silly face at abi, peeking above the throw blankets she has so artfully swaddled herself in. even with her original statement and half her face shrouded in a quilt, there’s a excitement she can’t quite mask.
“honestly, you do look good in the posters. but you always look good.”
“ the second draft ? ” and infantine wonder only increases, grin brightening even further upon features / resembles six - year - old at christmas, only with more teeth. it’s thrilling to see her own delight mirrored upon the other’s mien ; she worries, sometimes, that it’s too much, that her own joy drowns the other but half - shrouded simper says otherwise.
“ y’say that all the time. look at you, though ! ”
“ i look so good ! these are SO cool ! ” childlike delight is writ deep into jubilant countenance ; cross - legged and gleeful, abi doesn’t bother choking back ebullient laugh that dares to pour forth / doesn’t feel so anxious, like candy - cane ribs won’t collapse in on themselves in macabre house of cards. mimi’s family, always has been --- she finds comfort in the other, moreso than she dares to admit. “ i can’t get over these posters. ”
i can’t be fucked to make a gif for this bc i haven’t decided on a perfect psd for lana yet but here we go ??????? i love abigail vang more than i love anything else on this godforsaken rock so jot that down. pls plot w me i’m a wreck
「 LANA CONDOR, CISFEMALE, TWENTY - ONE, SASHA SLOAN. 」 ┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on ABIGAIL VANG ? she is one of my favorite POP artists. they’ve been releasing music for TWO YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last SIX MONTHS. get this, i think i heard SHE NEVER INTENDED TO GET FAMOUS AND IS TERRIFIED OF THE LIMELIGHT. they’re known as the MILQUETOAST of the music industry, since they have a rep for being MAGNANIMOUS but TIMOROUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.
mentions and explorations of generalised anxiety disorder and panic disorder will be present throughout the following !
layer one, or: i fall deeper and deeper in love with this angelic girl
abigail vang, known as ‘abi’ to friends and family, was probably never meant to get famous. girl’s got more talent in her little finger than most do in their entire fucking beings and she doesn’t know what to do with it. go fucking figure, right ?
abi is born in queens, new york to a nurse and a midwife --- they’d moved to america the minute they discovered they were expecting. they’d followed abi’s father’s brother and his wife after their move, and they figured america was the best place to start a family. ( they weren’t entirely wrong, but they also weren’t entirely right. )
it’s important to note that abigail isn’t a LOUD person, or a confrontational one. she’s very much the shy kid in the family that everyone forgets about. she was very happy to curl up in the corner with a book rather than deal with her family’s antics. she tended to avoid social situations altogether for a while, which explains a lot.
abigail’s anxiety begins to manifest early --- it’s evident in the way she cries more than she should at the idea of having to go to school. it’s evident that, even as a young child, situations that aren’t planned or things that are beyond her control cause her great distress. she has her first panic attack at ten, but she’s not diagnosed until she’s sixteen --- being diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder is both a weight off of her shoulders and a new burden.
she’s been playing music since she was younger than she can remember, and it’s essentially therapy for her at this point. she can play piano, guitar, drums, a little bit of violin and she can figure her way around a bass. people have always noted that she’s got a talent for it, but she’d never considered it as an option before mimi, her cousin, got into it.
she starts writing songs the same time she gets diagnosed, and at the beginning, they’re rough and they’re about the girl she wants to be but can’t bring herself to become ; they’re four - chord progressions, but they’re something and she’s proud of them. she’s too much of a nervous wreck to perform at that point, but she’ll get there.
she performs, timid and shaking, in a cafe when she’s 19. it’s one of the songs she’s written in her bedroom on a rainy afternoon, about some boy that broke her heart. she’s wearing her lucky skirt ( floral, maxi --- it’s chiffon and cambric and flows ) and scuffed brogues and she’s just a girl, standing in front of a crowd, asking them to love her and they do. they love her so much that the next morning, she wakes up to both the worst panic attack she’s ever had and the biggest butterflies she’s ever felt in her gut. she’s got a ridiculous amount of followers, and fucking buzzfeed is reporting on the petite girl with the angel voice. she shoots into the limelight quicker than she’s ever even thought, and it’s terrifying.
she's written songs for other people under an alias, but after the cafe incident, she starts writing for herself. she has to --- she makes a soundcloud account and somehow, just somehow, she falls into a comfortable rut. she’s living with mimi, which --- she doesn’t think about it, doesn’t focus on her cousin falling off the rails. all she focuses on is her music, the callouses that build on her fingers, the way her throat aches in the most lovely way she’s ever felt.
i need to shut up, so basically: she shoots to fame overnight and it scares the fuck out of her. she ends up seeing varying therapists and ends up sticking to 3 of them, each for differing issues. she’s a wreck, and i love her.
layer two, or: oh my god im going to cry over abi again
she’s doing her absolute best to not revert back into herself and fall back into the trap of her anxiety and panic disorder. she does take medication for it, which helps, but she’s still a nervy little thing. she’s trying, though.
genuinely ?????????? an angel ???????????????????????
doesn’t have a bad word to say about anyone, and if she does, she keeps it to herself because that’s the kind of person she is.
keeps to herself and tries to dodge the paps as much as possible bc she doesn’t want photos of her attacks online, thx.
p much reclusive but comes out if it means supporting mimi or her friends, which --- gimme friends for this wreck
stormborns
ellievsbear
origamiaround
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
blakekathryn