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In Melbourne celebrating one year with Luke

I love how getting film photos developed kind of feels like opening up a time capsule. Taking photos with these cameras almost feels like your capturing a secret which requires you to go through a process to reveal them, which to me is a lot more satisfying than the instant gratification of digital photography. Two years later and I finally got photos from schoolies back.

Fiji, Dec 2016

about new day resolutions

It’s that time of the year where we look back at January and think “what ever happened to those New Years resolutions I set?” as we fall back into old habits and watch our determination for change and self improvement go down the drain.

New Years resolutions are treated equally as much as a joke than a real opportunity to better ourselves as we wonder, “how long will it last this time?”. Personally, for this exact reason, I stopped making these resolutions as I never saw progress. I’ve also learnt that self improvement comes from growth, experience and patience, not a change of the calendar.

This lead me to try something else: new day resolutions. As it’s simple, if you want to work towards improving something in your life, why wait? You now have 365 chances to make resolutions and, most likely, slip up a few times, which is all a part of the process as you learn about yourself and your values.

I’ve recently started finding myself unintentionally working towards goals I've wanted to achieve for years. I cut down on fast food and improved my eating habits after one night I ate an entire KFC box when I wasn't even that hungry, and started exercising more by walking at my local beach and swimming laps in the pool, not because I wanted to burn calories, but because I enjoy doing it.

I’ve felt myself become healthier and happier in the past few months, and it wasn’t because it flipped over to January the 1st and I was miraculously given the chance to reverse my entire life, but because I gradually understood what works for me and how to be forgiving when I lost focus towards improving my life, and this occurred through experience and time.

I urge everyone right now, this very day in the middle of February, to come up with a goal, however big or small, and start working towards it. and if you slip up? Just try again, whenever.

afternoon sun + fishtank = this trippy shadow

curly locks

me looking a lil grumpy and a lil confused due to the challenges of a self directed photoshoot using a tripod I couldn’t work properly and a camera that doesn’t autofocus on self-timer, oh well. I’m about to start my final week of my first uni semester before I’m graced with sweet freedom for seven weeks, just need to finish five assignments first... looking forward to posting on here during the break

I really liked your post about body positivity. I was just wondering if you think your development of your body image was caused by anything particular?

A lot of it came from just growing up really, and surrounding myself with positive people made me become more positive. I could also owe it to the development of body positivity and encouragement in online communities, which has been incredible to see. Also realising that my body has allowed me to do everything I have ever wanted to do has helped me accept the way I am/look. If any person has a problem with how I look that’s not my issue, and even if I attempted to try and become healthier/fitter I don’t think my body would change much externally. It’s just been a gradual increase of acceptance as I noticed how much more content and relaxed I felt once my body image wasn’t such an overwhelming issue.

about a beach body

As the warmer seasons are approaching, there is more and more talk about the ideal “beach body” that so many people strive to achieve before summer has fully arrived. They use this image as a safety blanket that they think will protect them and remove them of any shame or self-consiousness they may feel due to flaws they find on their body. But I think it’s time to strip that cover off and enjoy the ocean with no hold backs as the theory is simple: if you have a body and you are at the beach, you have a beach body. Your own body is an extraordinary wonder, you have a face that holds all of your beautiful features, a frame that homes important organs to keep you alive and legs that take you to amazing places. Saying this I still admit I definitely let my body hold me back from my true potential, as I allow my body to stop me from enjoying even my very favourite things, like going to the beach. I hope that one day I, and every single one of you, can go out and enjoy what we love without the load of our insecurities weighting us down, embracing our true selves, beach bodies and all.

photos by kndysyrn

about a bad seed

Tonight after feeling horribly sad I finally decided to leave my lonely bedroom and venture out to the backyard to find my dad sitting alone in front of the fire, listening to the soft music of his favourite musician, Nick Cave. He expressed his enthusiasm for Cave’s intriguing writing, especially in the line “And my piano crouched in the corner of my room With all its teeth bared” The excitement he felt from his lyrics reminded me of the similar feeling I get when listening to the Chili Peppers, which was a band dad introduced, or drilled into my head, when I was much younger. It being the first music I ever really remember listening to left a huge impact on me, as it reminded me of the days I spent travelling down the coast with my family to spend a few nights by the ocean. A lot has changed since then. We hardly ever go away down the coast, and looking back at the past few years of my life I've found myself spending more time away from my family. But sitting by the fire with my dad tonight, listening to Cave’s album No More Shall We Part all the way through, reminded me of the unconditional comfort my family gives me. Through all the hardships and relationship issues I have with other people, I have a home and three wonderful people who I can always rely on. I really must remember that.

kndysyrn

I look sort of sad in this picture but it was taken on the way home from school camp which was such a fun time, I really miss it

Your body of work is beautiful! I understand the stress, I've just submitted my major project for multimedia so I understand your stress, but you've done amazing. :)

thank you so much! I’ll definitely post a photo of the finished product, but the compliment is very much appreciated and gives me that encouragement to keep going. Congratulations on submitting your major, it’s such a huge achievement, I hope you’re proud.

about a change of heart

My HSC visual arts body of work is certainly one of the most important pieces of work I will do in my entire schooling career. Creating a piece of art with basically no creative control or guidelines from anyone has given me the opportunity to create a piece that is purely my own, using my very personal practice, inspiration and motives.

Going into creating a concept for the work I always knew I wanted to base it around self-portraiture. Originally planning of painting a huge self-portrait of myself, full of colour and surrounded by beautiful nature. I wanted to show myself off as the strong person I have been slowly growing into during high school. But I was forgetting about an important element of my development; which was the people who helped shape me into who I am today, the friends and family who I was surrounded with while they watched me grow and grew with me. So I changed my artwork in order to feature those important people, using pen drawing as my media.

I now have less than a week until due date, the nerves and stress are really starting to build up but at the same time, I'm so excited to finally complete my body of work.

about winter

I hate winter, this isn’t a drill. I’m losing feeling in my feet, my hands are slowing down and not working as well as normal, I’m not moving as fast and I’m no where near as productive. I’ve known for the longest time now that I am definitely a person who prefers the warmer months, so instead of going on and whinging about everything wrong about winter, I’ll tell you more about summer.

I miss summer. I miss the comfort, the freedom, the way it manages to bring out all of the beauty in the world. The feeling of diving into the ocean has fallen away into a distant memory, I long for the day I can soak myself in the relief of salt water. When the nights stay warm and you never long to go home, I miss those nights, the liberation it gave me was almost limitless. Walking anywhere and everywhere and breathing in the heat, my favourite way to feel alive.

But for now I’ll just have to wait. I’m not too worried, I know it will return just as quickly as it will vanish again. The cycle is painful and exciting, yet reliable.

But for now I’ll just have to wait.

I have about five proper blog posts sitting in my drafts which I really want to get out but I’m not yet 100% happy with, which is super frustrating. Hoping to get them ready soon x

I used to wonder why people made fire jokes about my hair, now I think I might know.

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