Straight Privilege

This blog is a safe community for people to discuss what it's like to be LGBTQ* and the privileges that straight people are afforded in this society and LGBTQ+ people are not. Please feel free to submit your own stories about straight privilege, or any questions you have about the topic. This space is also aware of intersectionality. People of all colors, genders, religions, orientations and sizes are welcome here. Neuro-atypical people are welcome. This blog is Feminist, Sex Positive and Body Positive.

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

I’m gay and my best friend is a straight woman. We were both drunk one night and we made out in the middle of the city. It only now dawned on me how alien it was to me because people did not stare at us or call us “faggots” or give us disgusted looks. It was the first time in my life I kissed someone in public and did not feel eyes on my back. It made me realize why I originally wanted to stay in the closet but then I remembered that I am who I am and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck a cactus

I’m sorry we live in a world where you are on display, but am happy you had an experience that has invigorated your spirit!

[imreallybad-deactivated20150610]

also to clarify, if you’re straight there’s no good reason to assume that people are queer, because you’re probably just employing your limited understanding of queer culture & using stereotypes as guidance, and it’s not actually relevant for you to do so 

when LGBTQ people assume other people are LGBTQ it’s because of what I talked about before: survival tactics, creating community, seeking recognition/solidarity/safety, etc 

[imreallybad-deactivated20150610]

but don't you think it's shitty to assume someones sexuality because of how they look?

don’t assume anyone is straight - it sucks to be a femme lesbian and be “straight passing” 

it’s also not good to assume someone is queer just b/c they aren’t performing their gender well enough - aka, just b/c a woman doesn’t shave or wear makeup you shouldn’t assume queerness, just b/c a man doesn’t prescribe to toxic masculinity you shouldn’t assume queerness.

the history of queer markers is that we needed a way to recognize each other because we were living in fear/in the closet. gay people could literally be killed if they hit on a straight person, so people found sex/partners safely because of markers. (this is where the left/right pocket handkerchief thing comes from.) 

so queer markers are a legit and important way of finding community, safety and solidarity, and when straight people appropriate those markers they take away a survival tool & tactic for more safely navigating a homophobic world. 

[imreallybad-deactivated20150610]

What’s your coming out story? 

(hey guys this is a video of me performing one of my poems at the Slam I won recently. I’m trying to get my stuff out there more, check it out.) 

Freedom is when we don’t have to defend our identities because no one is trying to take them away from us. 

[boob-haver420-blog]

We have got to step the fuck up right now.

Not only because this whole fucked up system of race relations is plain wrong to begin with, because it is a danger to our community.

70% of our murdered siblings are trans people of color. Usually those murders are a result of intersection in...

[letstalkaboutrape]

Resources for Male Survivors

I posted last week asking people if they knew of some good resources for male victims of sexual assault. Here is the list people came up with:

www.malesurvivor.org

www.violenceunsilenced.com

www.rainn.org

www.pandys.org

www.1in6.org

www.soulspeakout.org

Thanks everyone!

[pittrainbow-deactivated20210204]

Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Act: ‘Null and Void’

In a victory activists were unsure they’d get, Uganda’s Constitutional Court overturned the country’s draconian Anti-Homosexuality Act today, declaring the anti-LGBT law “null and void” because of a parliamentary technicality in how it was passed.  

The court determined that when members of Parliament passed the law in December 2013, Speaker Rebecca Kadaga had not established quorum — a required minimum number of members present to vote — effectively invalidating the law. 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS FOR ALL LGBTQI UGANDANS RIGHT HERE <3 

And fantastic news for the LGBTQI community worldwide too

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW :D

[octoplods]

THIS IS HUGE AND AWESOME

[johnnyvox-deactivated20111129-d]

I Love My Boo campaign features real young men of color loving each other passionately. Rather than sexualizing gay relationships, this campaign models caring, and highlights the importance of us taking care of each other. Featured throughout New York City, I Love My Boo directly challenges homophobia and encourages all who come across it to critically rethink our notion of love.

GMHC is the world’s first and leading provider of HIV/AIDS prevention, care and advocacy. Building on decades of dedication and expertise, we understand the reality of HIV/AIDS and empower a healthy life for all. GMHC fights to end the AIDS epidemic and uplift the lives of all affected.

[wood-poppy-deactivated20140829]

sourcedumal:

this is fucking adorable

[ludicrouscupcake]

SPREAD THESE IMAGES LIKE WILDFIRE PRECISELY BECAUSE THEY FUCK UP THE MISGUIDED STEREOTYPES WE ALL ARE USED TO SEEING.

[scienceyoucanlove-deactivated20]

These condoms include Vivagel, a new antiviral compound that disables 99.9% of HIV, herpes, and other sexually transmitted viruses:http://bit.ly/1ne3B9V

from Science Alert

[nanodash]

Discuss.

Additional, slightly more detailed, article (x). It uses nanotech!

[toughboitears]

*orders box even though I never have sex..just in case*

[ghdos-blog]

Wow.

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

What was your opinion about Sierra Mannie's article?

What she said what was right. Some of the language was a bit TERFy, but she called out white people on their racist behavior. She specifically called out the white gay community, because there is an understanding of that ‘just being part of the culture’, without people actually taking the time to realize that it was appropriated from drag queens and trans women of color decades ago.

Her speaking up was an act of love for her community, and to white queer people. Giving someone the knowledge and opportunity to become a better person can be an act of love. That’s just my opinion, though.

~Paper-Hearts

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

Do gay men have easier lives than straight women?

Intersectionality, friend. Straight women benefit from straight privilege. Gay men benefit from male privilege. This is just as problematic and impossible to define as asking if black cis people or white trans people have easier lives. It's far too complex to compare and create a hierarchy out of different people's oppressions. 

-Kina

[datakin-deactivated20140706]

labels are for soup cans and queer kids who want to know that they aren’t alone

[niaking]

What do these artists all have in common? You can find interviews with them in my new book Queer and Trans Artists of Color: Stories of Some of Our Lives! Co-edited by Jessica Glennon-Zukoff and Terra Mikalson, this book is the first of it’s kind, a unique collection of interviews with political writers and artists such as Janet Mock, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Magnoliah Black (1st photo), Kiam Marcelo Junio (2nd photo), Lovemme Corazón, (3rd photo), Ryka Aoki, Nick Mwaluko, Fabian Romero, Van Binfa, Micia Mosely, Miss Persia, Daddie$ Pla$tik and more. Available for pre-order now!

Shout out to Gunjan Chopra, Weily Lang, and Amirah Mizrahi for transcribing the interviews! <3

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

Hello!

Mod Paper-Hearts here!

Just alerting folks to a mentorship/guidance blog I now mod at, additionally to this one. The Marginalized Youth Mentorship Program is for any young adult in any target identity group who is seeking advice from adults from said groups up to age 30. 

If you or a friend is in need of some advice, guidance, or general support, hit us up, we've been there, we've done that, and we're hoping to help folks like you!

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

So I just went back through your blog because I wanted to see what this radical queerness was that that anon was talking about. I didn't see anything that I would consider radical queer activism. Mostly just really annoying anons who are probably straight and cis. So I just wanted to interrupt the anons to let you know that you're doing a great job. I think this blog is a great resource and educational tool, and I really appreciate you keeping up.

I understand we’ve been out of commission for a bit. I feel bad about it. Kina’s been doing some awesome stuff at her college, and I’ve have been SOOOOO FUCKIN’ BUSY these past six months. I’m hoping we can make get things moving and shaking a bit more now that we have freer schedules.

We’re not even doing anything radical here short of discussing radical politics and the role they’ve had in the development of our community! Like, goodness! If people who use this blog for it’s intended purpose want radical, I can deliver radical, but oh boy, we’re just being a safe space!

Anyways, thank you for the kind thoughts, friend! Love and hugs! ^_^

~Paper-Hearts

[aboutstraightprivilege-blog]

Haha go ahead be "a radical queer". Looked how re-education to combat racism worked by googling this ("How anti-racism lessons INCREASE pupil intolerance by 'causing animosity to other cultures"). Or how extremist feminism has increased misogyny (women against feminism). Everyone has LGBT friends or family or colleagues. We have made it this far because we appeal on a personal level. Radicalism doesn't work, looking at other civil rights cases shows that quite clearly.

And look at how pervasive racism and sexism have become today. People act like they don’t exist. It doesn’t matter how nice you are to your oppressors, when the chips are down, their systems will swallow you whole, regardless of how “good” you’ve been.

I’d be careful with your words there - Yesterday’s radical is the reason we have today’s status quo. The ‘extremist’ second wave feminism (which, if you did your homework, would know that the entire concept was created by the media in a smear campaign against feminism) in the 70’s is the reason we have things like Title IX, access to contraception, sexual harassment policies, some sense of stability in the tug of war over abortion rights, spousal abuse resources, and even more. To say that radicalism is trash or doesn’t work is to completely ignore and disrespect the movements that came before us.

The personal level approach is important, but my issue with is that it is not all encompassing. Yeah, some families are starting to look at their own and say “Hey, maybe this isn’t a problem” (as they should). But a lot of families are still kicking out their children into the streets with nowhere to go, and a lot of my black and brown siblings are in the streets trying to find a way to survive. What about my queer relatives in places like Uganda and Russia? Who gives a fuck about them?

Dividing our community up into sections of personal approach, and “the rest of us” is a disservice to those who don’t fall into the category where personal appeal can work. Those who aren’t stereotypically “good gay”, “good black”, “good trans”, etc.

We have a couple more asks in our box like this, or just complaining about how this blog is pointing out some not so nice realities, but I’m not going to answer them. We can have a conversation about this when you start looking at our community holistically and examining the intersections in this system of oppression and try to make this work for all of us, not some of us. 

I fail to see what is so ‘extreme’ about that.

~Paper-Hearts

[acsdotcom-deactivated20210105]

you can be non-binary and still want to be referred to as he or she

you can be non-binary and still want to be someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend

you can be non-binary and be in a straight-passing relationship

you can be non-binary and want to refer to yourself with gendered language

there is no right way to be non-binary

your identity is perfect the way it is

don’t ever feel like you’re ~not queer enough~ because just by existing you are queer enough. 

♡♡♡