✿ ❛ you’re my kryptonite.
the silence that follows is deafening as intoxicated hues rest idly on the fireplace across from him , practically boring a hole into it . he has so much to say to her and he wants to say it , he really does , but although foolishly DRUNK he manages to restrain his words . for now . he keeps his eyes ahead as he catches a glimpse of her moving toward him in the corner of his vision , and a small part of him wants to reach out to her , to hold out his arms for her to fall into as he used to do oh so often . but he doesn’t . instead he doesn’t move a muscle , he’s like a statue . a broken , fucked up statue .
his fingers start to fidget in their place on his lap and for the first time in a long time he feels awkward , uncomfortable . he didn’t ask her to come here — she just did — and seeing her now had managed to subside his tears , his sobs , because he always craved her presence over anyone else’s . now she was actually here , sat beside him , and james didn’t know what to do with himself . he wanted to get up and shut himself in his room until she inevitably left , though he couldn’t bring himself to do so . he wanted to scream at her to get the fuck out , to FUCK herself for damaging him so . but most of all , he wanted to hold her , even if it was just one more time , and feel another’s embrace — hers . the girls he’d been with since kylie all felt like placeholders , they provided nothing and james felt nothing . not for them . for all he could think about was her .
pursing his lips and sucking in a breath of air , he slowly allows his head to turn towards her . the exhale was shaky , and his heart rate began to speed up once again just by looking at her . the fact that she hadn’t blocked and deleted his number came as a pleasant surprise , though it wasn’t enough to mask the destruction that had already been done . parting his lips and almost gasping , he talks to her . it’s a simple question , though it holds a substantial amount of meaning . ❝ why did you come here ? ❞
the silence between them made her cringe. there were times when james would be loud, there were times when she would be loud, and there were times when they were both loud. being with james never brought the idea of “quiet” in her head, and yet there they were, sitting in silence, the only sound being their steady breaths. oh, how she wishes things could be like they were years ago, before she walked away. before she fucked up.
wandering eyes stopping on kitchen cabinet for a second. if she had alcohol in the moment, it would be way easier to deal with seeing him again. it would be way easier than talking to him, way easier than being reminded of the past. there were so many things she wanted to say, though. she wanted to apologize, she wanted to tell him she still loved him. but most of all, she wanted to tell him that she was just as broken as he was about their break up. they were great together. he was the murderous, but cuddly killer boyfriend, and she was the somewhat innocent school bad girl. like two pieces in a puzzle, they fit together. maybe not perfectly at first, but it worked, and they were happy. and that was all she wanted. she wanted what she couldn’t have -- him. she wanted to feel his arms around her, his body warmth engulfing her, even if she was already burning. she wanted to hug him, to kiss him, and never let him go.
her hands fidgeted, feeling his gaze on her. normally, she would’ve wanted him to look at her, she would want the attention. but not in this atmosphere. she knew how angry he could get, and she wasn’t scared of being yelled at, she was scared of hearing the truth. how much he hated her, and how much he wanted her to just drop dead. but his voice was softer than she expected it to be, his tone questioning. and his question, his question made her question her reasons too. does she tell the truth? does she lie through her teeth? or does she just avoid the question?
‘ well... ’ she straightened her body, turning to face him, ‘ i... well, why did you text me? ’ on the outside she was calm, composed. but on the inside, she was secretly wishing she had just said the truth, she should’ve just told him that she missed him, that she wanted to see his face again, hear his voice. but no, she had to turn the tables on him.