Lady Whistledown

Your source for all the gossip and happenings in the Absolutely community +21 blog

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Hello, my lovelies! I’m back, so guess what that means? If you guessed I have some piping hot tea, then you’d be absolutely correct! Today’s edition is short, but still a tasty treat. Are you ready for tea time? I’ve brought sandwiches if you’re hungry.

What do you get when you’re a Prince and you have a disgustingly hot lawyer at your disposal? You get a fast tracked divorce, that’s what! My sources have recently spied Andy Barber meeting up with Clay Appuzzo-Benjamin (I wonder if he’s keeping the hyphenated name). I’ve been told the two men weren’t there long, but papers were discussed and signed, and once the two men parted ways, Mr. Barber made his way to the courthouse. The anonymous source was able to confirm they were, in fact, divorce papers signed by both Mr. Benjamin and Mr. Appuzzo. How unfortunate. It appears all good things must come to an end, and we wish the two of them the best of luck in the future. 🫖

So, what does this divorce mean for Mr. Barber and our young Prince? Now that neither of them are in relationships, will they be able to capitalize on all the flirtatious behavior the two have been concealing for all these months? Will there be a new couple alert to report on soon? Only time will tell, and we will be reporting all of it! 🫖

That’s all I have for you today, my beauties. However, as I set this to print I’m getting reports of something additional brewing in our little town. Guess I’ll have more tea for you soon.

Dear reader, if there is a scandal, I shall uncover it. Until next time!

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelyjackbenjamin @absolutelyclayappuzzo @absolutelyandybarber

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Be it shame or slander, seduction or smear, there is but one thing that humbles even the most highly-regarded members of our dear town; a scandal!

I know it’s been a while, dear readers, but I promise you the tea is well worth the wait. Are you ready for a cup? It’s piping hot and the flavor pairs well with the crumpets and scones!

A Prince is reborn!!! I am delighted to announce that our very own Prince, Jack Benjamin, has been up to absolutely no good while in his home country of Gilboa. According to my sources, the heir to the throne has been living a rather promiscuous lifestyle, bedding men and women alike, and coming back to the palace in a very disheveled state. The Prince has all the confidence in the world, strutting the walk of shame. It’s pretty apparent by the turned up nose, his life is moving in a different direction. Are we all just dust in his wind? Or are we being played for fools by a master in the art of distraction? Try a delicious crumpet to go with that sip. They are quite scrumptious. 🫖

Keeping up with more revelations about our beloved Prince, this author finds herself compelled to share the most curious of news. Guess who came for a weekend visit with our lovely jewel? His suspected lover and lawyer, Andy Barber, of course! The two were seen out and about, taking in some of the countries sights, as well as a very intimate looking dinner under the guise of a business meeting. The anonymous source reports “the men were very taken with one another, making eyes at each other when they thought no one was watching. The sexual tension between them was heavy and thick.” It’s obvious the dear Prince only has eyes for the lawyer though, even when faced with the server; an apparent one night stand, which is very telling, if you ask me. Given the alleged history between the two, my gut is screaming at me, yelling, how this visit was more of a rendezvous between lovers, than actual business dealings. Has the Prince turned his lover into a suitor? Or is the lawyer the one who has secured a match that would bring with it all the spoils of Royal favor? And what about the Princes’ estranged husband? Where does the relationship between the two stand? Careful, now. We wouldn’t want the scalding tea to burn your precious tongue. 🫖

Don’t worry, my dears. If anyone should reveal the circumstances of this match, it is I. I’m always ready with the hottest tea and goodies for tea time. You’ll be hard pressed to find tea like this anywhere else. If there is a scandal, I shall uncover it. Until next time.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelyjackbenjamin

@absolutelyandybarber

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

There’s tea brewing. Stay tuned.

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Welcome back, my lovely socialites! Sorry for the late edition, but there was something happening and we at the society papers, wanted to make sure all the information was gathered before presenting it to you. Are you ready to get caught up on the latest gossip our town has to offer? Could scandal be afoot? Grab a cup of tea, and be careful… it’s Hot!!

This week will be all about Andy! Since coming to our town he’s begun to make quite the name for himself. The lawyer must be glutton for punishment, having a coffee date with his friend, Meg Masters. The supernatural being took time out from hunting to visit with the man that was nearly killed the last time they hung out together. Be careful, Mr. Former District Attorney. Coffee doesn’t bring you back to life. We’d all hate to see you get hurt. Nonetheless, this wasn’t even the biggest thing to happen to the man this week and we are so excited to report our other Andy sighting, so to speak.

One of my favorite English musicians, Sting, sung it best. “Every move you make, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.” Dear Andy… we’re watching. Someone has intercepted a text exchange between Andy and our very own Prince Charming, Jack Benjamin. The messages appear tame, but are they really?! We have yet to confirm the affair these two had, but could the texts asking Andy to come visit be for business… or pleasure? We’re all dying to know and can’t wait to see what will happen when the naughty Prince and the bearded lawyer reconnect. Could we get some royal fuckery?! How’s your tongue? Hope the tea didn’t burn. Ice typically helps with those kinds of things.

That’s all we have to report this week. Stay tuned for more from our lovely community. My name is Lady Whistledown. You do not know me, and rest assured, you never shall, but I certainly know you! Until next time. 🫖

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelymegmasters

@absolutelyandybarber

@absolutelyjackbenjamin

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Guess who’s back? Hello and welcome to another edition of The Society Papers! I’m your host, Lady Whistledown, and it’s time to update you lovely readers on the happenings in our little community. We’ll be serving our own special blend of tea today. Won’t you sit down and grab a cup while it’s hot? Try the crumpets or a biscuit. They’re guaranteed to be a wonderful accompaniment with the flavor we’ve got today!

First things first. All hail the Prince! A source has mentioned Prince Jack Benjamin has disclosed some wild information, quite the scandal, I’ll say! It appears the young man was feeling quite frivolous before he left and had a little too much fun in the sexual healing type of way. Not only did he have a final goodbye in a horizontal way with his husband Clay, it seems the Prince had a liaison with his ex husband, Ransom Drysdale, and a tryst with his lawyer, Andy Barber. Could it be young Jack wanted to give each of these men something to remember him by? Whatever the reasoning behind it, it’s still very scandalous and we can’t wait to see just how this will play out when the Prince returns. The anonymous source also says Jack might be reaching out to his lawyer. Could another amorous entanglement be in their future? Stay tuned, my friends. This tea is as hot as it gets!

On the topic of reemergence, the self proclaimed God of Gymnastics, Lance Tucker, stepped out of the shadows and called out Ransom Drysdale. Apparently, he’s been keeping better tabs on things than my sources, as he was quick to point out the dilliance between the playboy and the Prince. Do we sense jealousy? Or maybe Mr. Tucker was ready to show Mr. Drysdale how to handle being cocky? Whichever it is, we’ll keep an eye on the situation and update you on any developments. I can almost smell the scent of freshly soiled linen. Make sure to leave the help a nice tip, Hugh.

Our final mentions are a bit skewed and cause me to take pause. I like a good challenge and love to bring all the gossip this community has to offer. When called out by Lucifer, I let that slide. The poor devil really needed that push since he wasn’t gaining any traction. A man of that caliber needed the attention and we were happy to oblige his request. This week, we have been called out by someone, or maybe we should say, something, that clearly needs some attention. Don’t worry, Meg Masters. We see you. There’s no need to have us draw attention to you. It appears you do that all on your own, putting yourself in some very ridiculous situations. So, if it a recap you’re looking for, here goes. Try not to take offense. I’ve heard even demons have feelings too.

In case you weren’t paying attention, poor Andy Barber found himself the victim of a vampire bite while on a walk with his friend Meg Masters. Luckily, the demon was able to save his life and he walked away from the encounter without a scratch. Meg has rid us of the threat and all that’s left is a little trauma for the lawyer. You’d think he’d be a little more careful of the company he keeps. Trouble continues to find our attractive lawyer and it gives us all the feels. Misery loves company so let’s pray for some positivity and happiness for Andy. God knows he could use it.

That’s all the tea I have for you this week. Be it shame or slander, seduction or smear, there is but one thing that humbles even the most highly regarded members of our dear town; a scandal.

Dear reader, if there ever is a scandal, I shall uncover it! Until next time.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelyjackbenjamin

@absolutelyclayappuzzo

@absolutelyransomdrysdale

@absolutelyandybarber

@absolutelylancetucker

@absolutelylucifer-morningstar

@absolutelymegmasters

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Good day, my wonderful townsfolk and welcome to another edition of The Society Papers! Your source for all the happenings in our town. Won’t you come for a sip and a spell? Today’s tea is hot like fire and so full of flavor. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Here’s a question for all my readers out there to ponder. What happens when your husband takes off to his homeland and leaves just about everything behind, including his wedding ring? Well, if you’re Clay Appuzzo, you go to California, of course! I’m not terribly certain what awaits him in the City of Angels, but we couldn’t help but notice how he spotted a particular blonde when he arrived. I wonder if there’ll be more than one reunion in store for the comedian. Apparently, he’s got the couch in more ways than one.

In other news, my sources say Lucifer Morningstar has peaked out from under the rock from where he’s been hiding and has tried to entice Ms. Meg Masters, inviting her into serpents lair. Don’t you know bad things happen when you call forth the devil, and he appears? Can poor Meg resist the charms Satan brings? The tea is steaming with these two. Could a supernatural alliance be in the works? Sip on this one slowly, my readers.

Speaking of Meg Masters, Lucifer wasn’t the only one the temptress was spotted with, as of late. Her wicked ways have bewitched the heartbroken attorney, and the two were seen entering Hell’s Haven together. Poor Mr. Barber looked as if he wasn’t ready for a night out so soon after the loss of his boyfriend. It was said our Meg found favor with an unknown female and tried to find a companion for dear Andy, but the man declined. Poor Zilch or was it Zach? Obviously the name was memorable which is probably the reason the poor guy struck out without even getting a number or promise of a coffee date. Guess that’s what happens when a guy is post breakup and is still in mourning. Friends don’t let heartbroken friends hook up so soon. Mr. Barber would be hard pressed to recover from that type of disaster. Did the tea burn your tongue yet? Careful sips, my loves. The gossip always stays hot here!

And there you have it, all the flavorful tea our town has to offer! Drink it while it’s fresh and hot. We wouldn’t want to waste a single drop, now would we? Until next time, I bid you all farewell!

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelyclayappuzzo

@absolutelymegmasters

@absolutelylucifer-morningstar

@absolutelyandybarber

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Hello, lovely towns people! Are you ready for this week’s edition of the society papers? Not much to report but we have managed to dig up some tea. Won’t you sit down and have a cup with us?

To start things off, we at the society papers have been tasked with something that is not necessarily our usual cup, but have decided to take it on anyway to test the flavor. We have received a request to place an advertisement, if you will. Absolutelys own Meg Masters is looking for love? Apparently, this mating season didn’t quite work out for a favorable match and she’s looking to take a different approach to finding ‘the one’. We have agreed to help on the basis that no one should spend their nights alone. Idle hands make for the devils... I’ll let you finish that.

Meg states her age as 1,000, not sure if one could argue with a claim like that so we’ll take it at face value. She’s a pan sexual practitioner of magic and the macabre, well aren’t we breaking barriers, and is trying to procure a match for dinner parties, midnight walks on the beach, torture manipulation, and knife play, oh the humanity! Meg claims she has a hell hound so, whomever decides to participate in her proclivities must play nice. I may not be very versed in some of these extra curriculars, but how does one play nice with torture and knife play? Asking for a friend. If anyone is interested in striking up a friendship or dabbling in the dark arts, Meg can be found at her shop, or the dog park, or you can try your luck at the den of sin located at Lucifers bar. Happy hunting!

In other news, my sources have unraveled a dire situation. It seems our newest couple is no more. An anonymous source reports Elaine Barrish came to see her son home after his latest mishap. The poor soul certainly can’t catch a break, and ultimately succumbed to his mother’s demands. Now, our lawyer raised an objection but he was overruled and saw his love walk away. The heart, the most curious of instruments. Truly our lawyer is suffering from his loss. We all wish them the best of luck in navigating this heart ache.

That’s all the tea I have for you this time. Until next time, I bid you farewell.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelymegmasters

@absolutelytjhammond

@absolutelyandybarber

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Welcome to another edition of the Society Papers. I’m the host of this tea party and boy do I have some gossip for you. The tea is hot and the sandwiches are fresh, so sit and relax while I keep you all informed of what I have recently uncovered.

First thing’s first, I’d like to address a certain Devil, Lucifer Morningstar. It seems the little devil was upset by not getting any mentions in my last post. Such a sad thing, isn’t it? You see, Mr. Morningstar, if you want attention you actually have to do something to obtain it. My sources say you really haven’t caused any kind of stir to be relevant, which is uncharacteristic for a man such as yourself. Perhaps you should find a hobby. I hear crocheting is making a comeback, you should try it. I am in need of a new scarf for the winter months. Make sure you send it by post, attention Lady Whistledown. I’ll be on the lookout for it.

In other news, my sources have confirmed Jack Benjamin has left and is currently in Gilboa. I’m not familiar with that particular territory but from what I’ve been told, Mr. Benjamin is actually a Prince! How exciting! I wasn’t aware we were in the presence of royalty. I do hope we see him again. From what I understand, he brings his own kind of tea to the party.

Speaking of tea, I’m being told Jack has left his husband behind and it would seem the couple have split? I’ve yet to have this fact confirmed but taking a glance, I’d say the two have at least separated, if not more. Stay tuned for more updates on the Royal couple of our community.

As far as couples go, anyone know what’s going on with new couple Andy Barber and TJ Hammond? The new pair seem to be going through some hardships early on. My sources implied the potential cause for the troubles could be linked to the young Prince, but what does that mean and if true, will the couple survive this scandal? All is fair in love and war, but some battles leave no victor, only a trail of broken hearts that makes us wonder if the price we pay is ever worth the fight.

Again, I smell scandal, my good people. Do you? Please come back, soon. Tea is always best served hot, and I have plenty for everyone.

Devotedly Yours,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelylucifer-morningstar

@absolutelyjackbenjamin

@absolutelyclayappuzzo

@absolutelyandybarber

@absolutelytjhammond

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Welcome to another edition of The Society Papers, your reference to the happenings in the community, in case you may have missed it or not paying attention. Either way, I’m here to keep you up to date, so relax and enjoy the gossip I am providing to you.

This author finds herself compelled to share the most curious of news. What do you get when you place three newcomers in a bar? Well, if Meg Masters was hoping to ensnare Andy Barber, things didn’t go according to plan. Andy brought his little boy toy, TJ Hammond along for the ride. So sorry, young lady. You’ll have to try again.

Speaking of Andy and TJ, our sources tell us that the political animal seemed a little out of sorts while at Pandemonium. Could it be he was taking a trip down memory lane or was the poor guy worried about any potential triggers, going to a club where alcohol is present. My source says the couple called it an early night and were seen leaving together well before midnight. Poor sweet angel. Whatever it is, we wish TJ well.

And why we’re wishing people well, looks like we are bidding farewell to Mr. Jack Benjamin. Sources close to the situation have told us the young Prince is leaving us and heading home to Gilboa. To this lady, it all appears very rushed and hurried. Could there be another reason the Prince has skirted off? I wonder if his dear ex husband, Ransom Drysdale, would know since the two were recently seen in each other’s company, looking very much like the two were up to no good. Alcohol seems to be a contributing factor in their shenanigans, whatever they might have been.

And what is to become of the Prince’s husband, Clay Appuzzo? It was mentioned to us that he would not be joining Jack on his travels. Is there trouble in paradise? Could that be the reason Mr. Benjamin has made several trips to his attorneys office? So many potential scandals happening, how will we ever keep up?

Stay tuned, dear readers. I sense something big in the works, waiting for me to uncover it, and uncover it, I shall!

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

@absolutelymegmasters

@absolutelyandybarber

@absolutelytjhammond

@absolutelyjackbenjamin

@absolutelyransomdrysdale

@absolutelyclayappuzzo

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Good evening and welcome to the first edition of the Society Papers, your source for all the ins and outs of the Absolutely Community. Each edition will have the latest news and hottest gossip I can uncover. So sit back and enjoy all the dirt and scandal I can dig up! 🫖

Let’s start out by mentioning some new arrivals in the area. Lucifer Morningstar, Meg Masters, Andy Barber and TJ Hammond have all recently found their way to us and are already making waves. It appears Lucifer has opened up a club that seems simply sinful! Certainly a must see if you haven’t already. I’m sure the Devil is always ready to play a friendly game. Just remember to not trade away your soul for a good time!

Speaking of playing, it looks as if Meg Masters has been making the rounds about town, playing around with a couple of men. My sources say she’s had a meeting with Pandemonium owner, Jack Benjamin, and has been seen with another newcomer, Andy Barber. The two of them have been spotted together quite a few times recently appearing awfully cozy. Could there be something brewing between the two?

Or could there be another scandal involving the new attorney we haven’t discovered yet? Mr. Barber seems to be sowing his oats around town, catching the eye of TJ Hammond, but what of him and his recent appearances with Jack Benjamin-Appuzzo? Is there more than just attorney-client privilege going on? Or maybe our sources got it wrong and they’d like to approach the bench and set the record straight? I’m sure, Mr. Hammond would have an objection to what those two could be up to.

Whatever it is, make sure you stay tuned for any breaking developments. Dear reader, if there’s a scandal, I shall uncover it! 🫖

@absolutelylucifer-morningstar @absolutelymegmasters @absolutelyandybarber @absolutelytjhammond @absolutelyjackbenjamin

[absolutelyladywhistledown]

Welcome to Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers, your source for all the happenings and gossip in the Absolutely community. Stay tuned... I have a lot of news to share!