Sometimes Family Hurts

21 year old female. I have an emotionally abusive narcissistic mother and an enabling violent lap dog dad. Feel free to send an ask or a message. I'll normally get back to you within about 24 hours. I just want to help people like myself who have suffered the emotional and physical abuse of narcissistic parents. Email at [email protected] then send a message to my ask box so I know to check it

[abused-daughter]

Hi... I don't know if my mom is just overprotective or emotionally abusive. She tells me my education costs too much money. She supports my dreams but also belittles it. She yells when I get pimples or zits. When I make plans with my friends she doesn't let me go. She tells me my friends are all just using me. She doesn't let me password protect my phone or close my room door. She loves me. She's funny. She stands up for me. I love her. She's just lonely and worried but... is this normal?

This sounds a bit unhealthy. She financially supports you but puts you down in other ways. You deserve privacy in your room and on your devices. She shouldn't be putting you down for your pimples. She may be lonely or worried, but that shouldn't be affecting your life

[abused-daughter]

I was sexually used by my own brother (1 year older than me) i thought i wanted it at the time cause he manipulated me and i didnt know what was happening or how wrong it was. He acts like it never happened and i always feel so dirty whenever i talk to him i just keep thinking back. I can tell from experience that the lie maps keep saying that kids cant be sexual is wrong. They dont know what they are doing and it will ruin their life later on. It ruined mine.

-- it will ruin their childhood cause like me, they will most likely look up to the person and not want to say no................................................Tw: child sex abuse, rape, sexual abuseHey anon, thanks for reaching out with your story. I don't really have ant experience with this, but your point of view is eye opening.

[abused-daughter]

It's really bad some days and I just want to cry, so I resort to having as minimal contact with them, but it's just another thing I'm ridiculed about. It's a never ending cycle, basically everything I do is wrong and if I vent to a friend my mother gets mad and calls me horrible names. It happened recently and she was physical, I didn't even move it was normal to me at that point. Idk. -NB

That sounds really tough. I'm sorry you're going through that. I went through the same thing and eventually realised that if everything I do is wrong, I may as well do what makes me happy. Now I'm doing what makes me happy, and I give fewer shots about my parent's disapproval. But I was only able to do that after I moved out of their house. They shouldn't be getting physical with you, and the fact that they are is really horrible. I hope that you eventually get to a place in your life where you can be happy without fear of them

[iamfinallybreakingfree]

Me: *exists*

My parents: you are doing it wrong

[its-so-traumatizing]

You know what’s the worst thing about abuse?

You think everyone is gonna hurt you like your abuser.

Everyone is gonna hit you like your abuser.

Everyone is gonna belittle you like your abuser.

Everyone thinks you’re a burden like your abuser.

Everyone is gonna yell at you like your abuser.

And that’s why you still flinch when someone raises their hand.

Overthink when someone doesn’t reply to you.

Panic when someone’s voice tone changes.

You see your abuser is everyone’s eyes.

[minus-the-negative]

Your response should not be dictated on their reaction.

minusthenegative.com

[savethekids]

Heres to the kids that hate summer because theyre isolated in the house all day but hate school because the education system is trash and your parents base your value off a number

[abused-daughter]

I used to get spanked as a child and now live alone with my dad. I love him and he is a great person but when he gets mad at something (which happens raerly but) or when a door gets closed too hard i freeze up and get very scared as my heart starts pounding at fucken lightspeed

That's normally a sign of trauma, which would make sense if you were physically abused. I freeze up too. Normayits around men who are angry and yelling. It sucks

[abused-daughter]

I just saw someone posting about her dad slapping her bottom- my own dad was always trying to rub my shoulders when I was in high school, and acted like the only reason I was upset was because the kids at school liked to accuse me of being a "gay incestuous b--tf---er." (I'm an amab enby nblw if that makes any sense, although none of that was a thing in the late '90s- you were just either straight or a f----t). I wish I could've told him it could be taken as sexual abuse.

I'm sorry you went through this. It sounded like you were getting problems with people Fromm everywhere in your life

[abused-daughter]

(1\1)Hi it's me from the last ask um to make it simpler I'll just call myself NB, but yeah about my family the make me feel bad about myself all the time and then try to be buddies with me five minutes later and then I'll get smacked sometimes because they don't like what I say. -NB

That's very common behaviour for abusive parents. Just because they're good sometimes doesn't excuse the abuse. They shouldn't be doing this and I hope you're ok

[abused-daughter]

hi! is it sexual abuse if my father slaps my butt out of nowhere all the time and he knows i hate it but he won’t stop? it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t do it as much anymore but whenever he makes sudden movements around me i jerk as a defense mechanism. ( i already know i’m being emotionally, psychologically and borderline physically abused. ) thanks!!!!

He definitely shouldn't be doing that, especially if he knows you don't like it. I think it's classed under sexual abuse. My mother used to do the same thing to me and I hated it

[abused-daughter]

A friend of mine suggested that I might have PTSD. I don't believe her My parents would hit me a lot when I was younger(discipline)but I'm older and bigger I should be able to defend myself, they don't do it a lot anymore unless when they are really angry. But when I know it's about to happen I freeze. They also yell saying that I am such a disappointment and a disgrace. But when they aren't yelling or hitting we are like a normal family. Is it ok to feel scared even though things are "normal?

I think this link will help you research what PTSD is vs what is a normal reaction to trauma https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/ptsd-symptoms-self-help-treatment.htmIt can be helpful to self reflect after doing research to really understand yourself and how trauma has affected you

[abused-daughter]

Um hi, confused anon back, but, I was homeschooled, and I graduated last may, so no guidance councilor or anything. Also, I appreciate the help, I almost thought you would brush me off but I dont know why you would. So, just... thanks.

I was in the same position in the time after graduation. I graduated from high school in December 2012 age 16 and moved out of home in June 2014 just before I turned 18. I found that during that time the abuse got worse and there wasn't anywhere to turn. Honestly, it only got better because I moved two states away

[abused-daughter]

Hello, um how's your day? I'm sorry I'm new to this. But I don't know who to tell anymore but my family can be really mentally\emotionally abusive and then guilt trip me.. And uh I was wondering if I could talk about it? It's OK if I can't

Hi. Yeah feel free to send anything you have to talk about through my ask box, or even message me if you want

[abused-daughter]

(1/?) So I think my parents are abusive. More specifically my dad is more gaslighting and mental trauma, and my mom is more emotional manipulation and negligence. He often goes days being normal and-not quite kind but not horrible- to suddenly yelling about everything and shaming me for being unable to do certain things or forcing me to do things for him. He is disabled with back issues so some thing he needs help with make sense but others... dont. He often calls me "dumbass" or smth similar

(2/?) My mom on the other hand, works alot, and while i understand having to provide for the family, when she is home she often ignores me in favor of my older sister, shes 20 and married and pregnant. When she is paying attention to me, she says my sexuality isnt real and has shoved me before when i try to tell her about my declining mental health. She constantly makes it impossible to reason with her, saying "because i said so." I dont actually know if any of this counts, because whenever(3/3) I think about it or try to talk to someone i freeze up and feel ungrateful or guilty, after all, they provide for me and have only every gotten physical once. I have my own room, and while i dont really have privacy in it, i have some solitude. They let my freinds come over and let me have a phone and computer that they only make me feel a little guilty for having. I want to move out but i dont think they would let me. My question is if you think this is actually abuse?..........................................................I think this is abuse. Especially the name calling and putting you down. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty about having the basic things supplied to you. They can be abusive but also still provide for you. And physical abuse is never ok. Not even once. Especially in response to you trying to reach out for help. Could you try reaching out to a guidance counselor for help with your mental health since your parents aren't being very helpful?

[abused-daughter]

How are you doing? I know it can sometimes take a toll on your mental health to help and give advice to so many people, so please remember to take care of yourself!

I'm doing great thanks. I did take a little time off from this blog to look after myself recently, but I'm back and feeling all refreshed

[abused-daughter]

So my dad is not letting me drive to camp and my mom agreed to it. I can go. I just have to have my mother drive me. As a counselor. And I have to listen to the "we pay for everything" guilt trip and the "you think I'm such an evil human being" argument all the way home from my grandma's house. And I have to listen to my family laugh at me for being a bad driver and my sister say "I don't want MY car totaled by YOU." It's only her car for two years and then she's sol. (1/?)

Unless my parents suddenly decide in two years that I'm sol, which I wouldn't put past them. I also have to sit here crying knowing that I dated my mother to say one nice thing about me and she wouldn't. Which makes me feel like a piece of shit. And when she said she didn't want me to wreck the car and kill myself I said I'd rather wreck my car and kill myself than just wreck my car because if I lived, no matter in what condition my parents and sister wouldn't care if I was okay. ..............................I know what it's like to be teased about my driving. I have so much anxiety about driving from my parents that I'm only just now getting my licence at age 22. I'm actually quite a good driver. My confidence is just really bad because of my family. I doubt you're as bad as they say you are. I hope you get some more freedom soon and are able to go wherever you want without them