Dear me,
Looking back on all these years, everything that I’ve been through... I just wanna say... thank you dear me.
Thank you for still being here today, thank you for still standing tall and never letting your crown fall. There were moments where it was slipping off, but you wiped your tears and stood back up. Thank you for getting through every single traumatic event, I know you had to deal with them on your own which is why I can’t thank you enough for being so so so strong. You shouldn’t have to be this strong, it’s unfair I know. But thank you for doing that for us. Thank you for being so forgiving to people who least deserved it. It was tough forgiving someone over and over again I know, but thank you for having our mother’s trait. Thank you for the kindness you’ve showed others. Thank you for the time you’ve spent trying to help other. Thank you for being the pillar for others. Thank you for trusting others when every single vein in you tells you not to. Perhaps our life would have been way easier if we listened to our brain instead of our heart. But then again, you wouldn’t be who you are today if you didn’t go through all of that shit. As fucked up as it sound, thank you for surviving all these years of bullshit.
The last few years has been tough, real tough. You’ve changed, a lot too. You haven’t genuinely smiled in a long time and it breaks my heart seeing you like this. I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize you anymore. It’s not your fault, please remember this. I know you’re tired and you’ve already done your best.
For all the moments where you feel vulnerable, I hope you will never give in to those temporary emotions, never throw your dignity away. Remember this dear me, you’re worthy of love. You deserve respect, you deserve all things good in the world. You deserve someone reliable, trustworthy, a person who walks the talk, a person who values you, a person who will never do anything that might make them lose you. Please always remember that.
Now, I have a few requests that I hope you can fulfill.
I hope you can be kind to yourself. Never let someone else’s words hurt you or make you feel less valuable.
I hope you can spend time helping yourself. Build yourself up. You stopped moving forward 5 years ago. Your life stopped there because you were too busy trying to build someone else up. Now, use that same energy and focus on yourself. You were amazing 5 years ago, you’ll be amazing now.
Be your own pillar, you know you are strong enough for that. You are enough, you are sufficient and I love you.
Learn to trust yourself again, you’ve been there for yourself through every single pain, trauma and loss. Trust yourself, you’ve never been wrong about anything. Well you were wrong about that someone but let’s let that slide shall we?
I love you dear me and I promise you this:
I will never break a single promise that I’ve made to you. I promise you I will keep you alive and strong. I promise you every single time you feel like giving up, I will be your strength and I will carry you till the end. I promise you that I will start listening to my brain and I will never let history repeat itself. I will never put you in a position where you have to go through all of that abuse and pain again. I will be your protector, I will be your guardian. I will always love you, even when you can’t see your worth.
X
