Asexual Education

[ace-lessons]

ive been IDing as female heteromantic sex indifferent ace (while I dont like sex- kinda grosses me out- ill do it for my partner). but recently ive been thinking & I realized that I dont care about the gender of my partner? im really romantically attracted to men but if a girl/nb/trans*/etc person asked me out or came up at a party I wouldnt say no. Could that be just part of being ace or could i be panromantic? i think im still more attracted to men but id be willing to date just about anyone

It would depend upon the type of attraction towards females, trans/non binary individuals; if it was romantic you sound as if you are leaning more towards poly or panromantic - which you can add to the asexual identity if you choose, as there is the definite separation between sexual and romantic attraction

[ace-lessons]

am I still a valid asexual if I'm attracted romantically and physically (but not sexually) to men?

Of course! The asexual spectrum is defined surrounding the variation in sexual attraction; if you are experiencing romantic and aesthetic attraction to a person, it doesn't make your asexual identity any less

[ace-lessons]

I've just left a long relationship. We're still kind of friends, but I want to come out to him and friends that I'm ace. I just don't want to make him feel as if he "forced" me to be ace, which isn't true. How should I tell him and my friends?

I’m sorry to hear that but I’m glad to know that you’re still talking to one another! From my own experiences, it depends upon on how accepting your friends are of sexuality and identity; I just threw it around occasionally to test the waters. To tell them, maybe send a group message explaining how you feel and giving them information about being ace - I can suggest AVEN’s friends and family page, I hope this is useful

[ace-lessons]

Righty-o, okay. So, my girlfriend is asexual and I've never really thought that much about sex bcs I'm Christian, and we wait until marriage but since dating her I've been thinking more about how it kind of freaks me out/grosses me out at the thought of it?? Like I like masterbating, and I think a lot of people are attractive and I get turned on pretty easily but the actual thought of actual sex just,,,,is really nasty to me. But I also have never had sex before??? I'm 16. Pls help me out fam

You may just be sex repulsed? Even if you do masturbate, find people attractive in an aesthetic and sexual sense, you may not necessarily enjoy the notion of sex. I hope this helps out in some way, don’t be scared to contact me if you have further questions

[ace-lessons]

My biggest regret is having sex with him and I hate myself for it. It's supposed to be awful your first time so I tried it again and it was worse. I'm ace so I knew it wasn't as cool as people made it out to be. But why the hell was I sitting there thinking "please let it be over" that's messed up. I hate myself so much and everyone is just gonna say it was who it was with but it wasn't. I hate myself for this. I'm sorry.

Do not hate yourself and do not apologise, regardless of what you have done and think of as bad or negative! Not everyone in the world necessarily enjoys the notion of sexual acts or intercourse, so please do not think you’re alone; if you feel that it is something that you have no interest of doing or feeling comfortable doing, make that clear to the person :) It’s your emotional well-being which is more important than forcing yourself to feel ‘normal’

[ace-lessons]

Hey, um, I've got a little bit of an issue i guess?? I'm ace, and on -romantic, im willing to date almost anybody, but not cis men who've always been that, and nothing else, and it's kinda embarrassing and i feel like im excluding somebody ;-;

Don’t feel embarrassed, attraction is something that we as individuals cannot control. Just like whether a person is hetero, homosexual/romantic, and so on; you may feel more at ease if you read up on the notion of polyromanticism - the attraction to multiple genders :)

[ace-lessons]

I don't know if this has to do with being asexual but I'm pretty sure it does: I'm an asexual but this guy has been flirting with me and today he was poking me and I was getting weird feelings, like adrenaline almost…? But asexuality means a lack of sexual attraction…although it was weird because in that moment I didn't feel that way…? But it may just because I'm menstruating so my hormones are unbalanced… what do you think?

Sexual attraction doesn’t mean that you may not enjoy the experience or sensations of physical, or sexual, interaction; I’d say just find out naturally what you are comfortable with and what your boundaries are, don’t force yourself into situations to seek an answer :)

[ace-lessons]

I'm attracted to the aesthetics of people, but beyond surface attraction doesn't interest me. Masturbation is not a thrilling experience for me. Does this mean I'm asexual? I've been struggling with my sexuality (or lack thereof) for awhile now. How do you recommend exploring sexuality/asexuality?

Asexuality is a wide spectrum, so you would have to consider whether you do experience any form beside aesthetic attraction, lack of interest in masturbation doesn’t necessarily define asexuality as some individuals, regardless of their sexuality, do not hold an interest in it. To explore asexuality I would personally suggest looking at AVEN - Asexual Visibility and Education Network, as it is one of the main hubs of information where a number of asexual individuals have discovered their identity

[ace-lessons]

So I know that being asexual means you don't feel sexual attraction.. What would it be called if you occasionally experience sexual attraction but the idea of acting on it/trying to act on it disgusts and distresses you?

To experience sexual attraction occasionally may point in the direction of demisexual or grey-a, the context in which the attraction happens may set a more clear definition, as for the disgust/distress that may mean you are sex repulsed 

[ace-lessons]

So I told my friend about how i was asexual, and she replied with the whole "asexual is not a thing, why don't they just say they are uninterested?" And i am not sure how to respond without sounding angry. (although I am) Is there a way to give her the information?

Don't worry, there is a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to the asexual spectrum with those who are unaware; perhaps direct her to AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)'s page for friends and family - http://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=family.html - which should provide her with the information to begin to understand

[ace-lessons]

i dont know if im asexual.. i like reading smut sometimes but i dont like the idea of masturbation or sex. i also dont feel any sexual attraction to anyone, i usually just think girls and guys are really cute/pretty. im not sure if its because im just different than regular people or if im asexual and im too scared to tell people.. pls help

Asexuality is full of such variation that sometimes it's a little difficult to pin point an individual to a possible positioning on the spectrum. I would say that you are likely to be asexual from yourself saying you don't experience sexual attraction, but do experience aesthetic attraction to a degree. As for the smut, some people have different tolerances for sexual content - for example, I'm fluid with sexual content, ranging from not bothered at all to sometimes a bit prudish

[ace-lessons]

Hey, i'm 13, and i'm wondering... is it ok for me to identify as ace? Maybe i'm too young to know, and i'm really confused... should i wait? Will i feel sexual atraction when i'm older?

Hi there! I don't think there is such a thing as being too young to know who you are, granted sexuality is of a fluid nature - so it can change with time and circumstance; at thirteen I knew I wasn't interested in people sexually and at eighteen now having gone through puberty and all the hormones, I feel no different in my asexual identity

[ace-lessons]

Ive identified as asexual for 3 years, and ive been dating this guy for a while.. And basically i told him i wanna have sex with him(after thinking about it for a long time) and im not sure?? Like im okay with the idea but i feel like its wrong??

First of all, do not do it if you feel uncomfortable and that its something you aren't ready for. It seems you are unsure, so I would definitely suggest thinking about it more and maybe talking to the person about it

[ace-lessons]

Hey, I have a question. I've identified as heteroromantic ace for about a year now, but recently, I've gotten curious about masturbation and I get turned on (I'm not entirely sure if that's what that feeling is?) by a guy I know... Am I still asexual or something else?

Well firstly I want to assure you that it is all natural; you just need to consider whether you are sexually attracted to him - desiring sexual contact. If you do, you may still fall on the asexual spectrum depending on various factors like emotional connection which could point towards being demi or grey-a 

[myreticentvale-deactivated20231]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

Couldn’t scroll

[thy-devil-princess-deactivated2]

I don’t give a fuck if this doesn’t suit your ‘theme’ have a heart and reblog.

[ace-lessons]

Okay so I thought I was just plain old asexual panrom but then looking back at my old relationships I realized I always went through a sort of thing like okay I like this person, yay person likes me now we're dating, and then fades with a month into this is not something I want anymore and this person is starting to annoy me actually or I'm just not into it anymore and I thought I probably just prefer girls and haven't dated one and guys just don't really work but now I think I might be akio?

Hi! With what you've said about the romantic feelings fading, it sounds completely plausible that you could be akoi

[ace-lessons]

I wanted to comment that I like your posters (I put the Kinsey scale one as my background cause I thought it was funny) but I think if you ever do the romantic things I think you should put "people of" instead of "a person of" because there are things where you are normally attracted to one gender but very rarely may be attracted to a different one

Thank you ever so much, it’s great to hear positive feedback! I will keep that in mind for sure :)