he absorbed every syllable, felt them settle on his skin like iron filings. tiny stings, magnetic, impossible to brush off. it was too late. of course it had been too late; heโd made sure of it, steamrolling his own heart. heat flushed up his neck. he straightened, but the mirror behind her caught him in flawless betrayal: collar open, tie knotted halfway down like a noose heโd survived, hair mussed from raking agitated fingers through it. he wanted to fix her mascara. wanted to fix everything, but his hands hung useless at his sides. โbecause you wereโฆ walking away. and iโm a selfish bastard who panicked.โ he managed, the confession scraping his throat raw. โi heard him planning futures you never asked for, and it felt like somebody was carving my initials out of you.โ a humorless laugh broke free. โturns out seeing the end of the world is easier than watching another man misunderstand you.โ he stepped closer, one cautious pace at a time, stopping when her lashes flickered in warning. his hand coming in a surrender gesture. this was her turf, and he'd already done so much harm.
โi hurt you tonight because i didnโt know how else to make it stop.โ a breath. the engagement, the articles, the boardโs applause โ itโs leverage, miriam. legacy insurance. all the things my father said iโd ruin if i let feelings distract me.โ his fingers worried a a frayed seam on the inside of his pockets. โbut you were never a distraction. you were the part that kept me from becoming exactly him.โ he'd spent twenty years vowing to be the anti thesis of that creed, yet some nights, pacing the penthouse with deals rattling like coins in his skull, heโd catch himself parroting the old manโs cadenceโshort, surgical sentences that left no room for dissent. the realization always arrived like a slap. if he wasnโt vigilant, the blueprint encoded in his blood would draft itself across his life. the elder reyes had loved assets, not people; children were brand extensions, wives collateral, friends liabilities. joaquin remembered christmas mornings measured by the dow jones, remembered his motherโs lipstick smeared champagne glass abandoned beside a twelve year old scotch because โyour fathers in tokyo again.โ he remembered promising a tear streaked ten year old version of himself that he would never make anyone feel optional.
"i can't justify any of it,โ he managed, voice thick as midnight traffic, โbut since you asked โ i don't love cassandra." he swallowed. the ache in his throat felt rough as sand. โthe engagement? itโs a deal. a cold one. my familyโs shares rely on a marriage clause. cassandra signed on for the perks, and i signed on for control. thatโs it." he heard his own blunt words echo in his head. the line sounded neat, almost tidy. but nothing about it felt neat inside him. he told himself it was smart. it still felt like frost creeping over warm skin. โi never meant to drag you into the cross fire. but the night i gave her that ring, all i could think was, you. it hit like ice water. i told myself i could live with the cost. i was clearly wrong.โ
