across azeroth

a blog about two world of warcraft nerds who decided an international long distance relationship was for them. we are now both living in Vancouver, BC, Canada! CLOSED THE DISTANCE AUGUST 2ND 2015! rhode island ✈ vancouver 3,163 miles var sc_project=9815231; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="ccce947e"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[acrossazeroth]

hi!

I didn’t die or anything, I just realized my last entry on this blog was about me being sick. oops!

I kind of took a break from tumblr over the past month or so because I’m on break now (and Overwatch is out!!) so things have been kind of slow and boring for me. nothing much to report other than that I’ve bought about 10 plants for my windowsill. not much of a gardener, but since I can’t have pets, I’m enjoying taking care of them. I have some succulents, some dahlias, sunnies, basil, tomatoes, lilies, and whatever those purple flowers are!

things got weird for Ray Ray and I for a while but we’re doing better than ever right now. we’ve worked a lot of things out with each other and fought some, but in the end things are better for both of us. 

last night we went on our first official monthly date night! we went to a japanese-italian restaurant (odd combo, I know, but it’s Vancouver) and had the most delicious pasta dishes ever. he ordered a side order of pork chili that I stole some bites of, and I ordered a creme brulee and we both tried it for the first time! we both liked it a lot! we had the restaurant to ourselves most of the evening, so he was comfortable and we had fun together. :) he even noticed that the couple who sat next to us towards the end were on their phones the entire time, whereas we were talking and laughing. I was going to take a picture of our meals or something but I totally forgot because I was having such a good time!

afterwards, he walked me home and we had a normal evening, but then he invited me to sleep over at his place! it’s the first time I’ve slept there since 2014 when we first met, just because he lives with his mom and that’s kinda awkward. I slept really well but he woke up tired. he moves around so much while he sleeps and I sleep like a rock and never move, so I was hindering his ability to move. I suggested he get a bigger bed so we can have our own corners but still be close!

anyway, things are going well. I’ve got everything squared away for the fall semester and my rent is paid until October! hope things are going well, tumblr, have a good night!

[acrossazeroth]

I'm okay, thank you for the messages wishing me well. I ended up not needing surgery and they let me go home this morning, which is good!

[acrossazeroth]

update: things are honestly great rn but I officially haven’t seen my boyfriend in a month as of today

[mywhisperedcolors]

[sarahseeandersen]

[greaterthanthedistance]

happy munch ^_^

[assume]

They say home is where you come from. But I think it’s a place you find while you’re picking up the pieces. Home is where you can take all the pieces and make something whole out of it all.

a.r.s. (via assume)

[acrossazeroth]

I don’t have anything groundbreaking to report today, other than the fact that I’ve really started to find balance here. I know I’ve been saying that, but I’m feeling great, both physically and mentally.

I started taking an anti-anxiety medication while I was on spring break. I honestly feel like a totally different person in a good way. I’m still me and I feel like me, but I’m able to slow down. my worst fear for starting medication is that my personality would change. I was on other drugs before that made me feel like a zombie, but that worked for my ADD issues, so I just kind of took them to get through school. however, the doctor at my school gave me one I’d never had before and it’s working extremely well for me.

on monday, I met with a specialized advisor about my documented ADD and together we decided on what accommodations would help me the most. we decided that I’d get 50% extra time on exams (but I get to pick what exams it applies to) and that I will be able to take exams by myself in a private area, so I’m less likely to get distracted. this all helps me tremendously because one of my main problems is text anxiety, and just knowing I have these things in place makes me more comfortable. last semester, I started feeling like I didn’t belong at such a prestigious school, and it made me want to stay home. I hate placing myself in the “requires extra help” box because I am a competitive perfectionist by nature, and I in general always want to do things the best and with the least amount of help.

I’m loving school again. I’m doing well in my classes and I don’t protest myself going to them. I’m making more friends. I’m sticking to my gym plan and I’m eating right. I’m sticking up for myself more when I feel wronged. I just feel so much better in general. not to get all deep, but the best way I can describe it is that my personality has been released from the jail that was once my mind. I’ve always been this person, just in a more muted sense. I was kind of at a point where my mind went a mile a minute and I wasn’t able to keep up with myself anymore, and I realize now just how bad it was.

speaking of the gym, I’m really doing well there. I kind of yolo’d it for the first few weeks, but once I found a good strategy, I’ve been noticing some pretty great results. I’m not super strong or anything, but I’m steadily improving. I’m almost ready to move from the benching machine to actually benching, hah! my gym has a “free for everyone” day at the end of each month, and I’m hoping that Ray Ray comes this month and teaches me how to squat, bench, and deadlift correctly so that I don’t hurt myself. the last time I tried to do them was before I moved, and some big strong biker guy just shook his head at me from across the room and then came over to help me. I appreciated it, but I was so embarrassed!

I bought a food scale and I’ve been recording my meals to the gram. I’m really serious about getting into better shape, and I’m glad. I’ve got myself on a schedule of sorts and I look forward to my healthy meals. I prepare fresh veggies for myself every night! I think the medication has unleashed that aspect of me as well. I used to be afraid to go to the gym because I thought people would just laugh at me for being a newbie, but now I stride confidently through it even though I can barely bench press a barbell. 

however, I still can’t give up my absolute favorite snack, nanaimo bars! I get a few a week, but they’re relatively low calorie for what they are. I’ve actually been craving high quality cake as well. I’m thinking this weekend I’ll take myself to one of the nice cafes and get something super bad for me, but that it’ll be a once in a while thing. we’ll see. I’ve done pretty well cutting out everything from bread to my absolute favorite foods, cream cheese and popcorn, but maybe I’ll be able to reintroduce some of those foods once in a while if I can do it in moderation. I’ve actually even stopped buying food, I used to eat out nearly every night and I’d spend ridiculous amounts of money at school for food, but I’m getting better at saving money and eating healthy at the same time :)

xo

[desflorecia]

[errantharlot-deactivated2018090]

when yr listening to ur boo talking about something they’re enthusiastic and passionate about

[shoujoromance]

[acrossazeroth]

How are things? I'm missing your posts:(

I’m actually feeling pretty great. school is really good, I’ve made some new friends and I’m sticking to my gym plan. I just feel… good? I dunno. I think I’m finally adjusting. I’ve always loved it here, but I’m finally branching out and doing things that I like and that I want. I am truly glad that I reached out to the programs at my school to help me deal with my issues, because I’m doing SO MUCH better.

as for my lack of updates, I don’t post much because I never see Ray Ray… so, I don’t really have much to blog about “on topic”. also, I’m pretty busy during the week because I make myself busy with stuff at school. seriously, I am there from at least 1:30-6ish every day (sometimes more) of the week, and now I go to the gym 4/7 days of the week & whenever I’m not doing those things, I’m doing homework and actually doing some meaningful studying. 

[acrossazeroth]

Hi! I was wondering if you ever wanted to just go home? I moved recently like you did and I feel guilty about wishing to go home sometimes.

honestly, I do feel like that sometimes. it’s usually brief, though. and it’s usually if I’m upset with ray ray, I’m feeling lonely, or something like that. however, I don’t think it’s something you should feel guilty about. it’s natural to feel like that, especially if you’ve just moved.

[neoscent-deactivated20180605]

[5000letters]

I knew I did from that first moment we met. It was… Not love at first sight exactly, but - familiarity. Like: oh, hello, it’s you. It’s going to be you.

Mhairi McFarlane - via 5000letters (via perfect)

[westindianxprincess]

[acrossazeroth]

I don’t have any super cool pictures to share at the moment. spring break just ended and today I started up school again. I joined a gym over break and I am going to try to go 4 days a week. so far, so good. I even got my ass out of bed this morning so I could go before school. I feel a lot more determined to get into better shape than I ever have before, so hopefully I stick to it. my gym has a year-long contract anyway, so I kind of have to if I want to get my moneys worth. the picture above is the view from the front of my gym.

I started pretty brutally -- I didn’t ramp up into it like I probably should’ve. I do quite a bit more cardio than I have ever done, and I’m getting ready to start lifting. Ray Ray is a powerlifter, and he is (hopefully) going to come with me to the gym either this month or next so he can help me start off correctly when I move to free weights. my leg press is pretty good, but all the arm-related things suck because I have a bum shoulder (torn RC from a few years ago still bothers me). I wish every day was leg day (Ray Ray is rolling his eyes as he reads this, I’m sure) because my legs feel good when I exercise them, but my arms feel like death. I’m actually pretty proud of myself overall, though. :)

aside from that, things are kind of... eh. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to on an exam. it’s not a make-or-break it kind of thing, I’m just disappointed because I really tried to improve on my calculus. I went to every help session, started speaking 1-on-1 with tutors, and I was prepared for what they told me would be on the exam. instead, it focused on other areas that we did not cover very much, and I just kind of got unlucky. as long as I do at least somewhat well on my final, I’ll pass the course and that’ll be the end of it. the midterms are only worth about 10% each, and I did well on the first one. the class also has a lot of marks for homework, so I’m fine.

I’ve been seeing a counselor on campus for a little over a month now, and they referred me to a doctor (also on campus) to treat me for my anxiety. I don’t have social anxiety, depression, or anything like that really, I just get very caught up in my head sometimes and I’m extremely easily distracted. it got to the point where I couldn’t retain information, knew I wasn’t learning despite trying as hard as I could, and then on top of that I’d get stressed because I couldn’t keep up in school. I was diagnosed with GAD and ADD when I was a kid, and I had similar problems then. 

the doctor requested my medical records, and after getting them he confirmed my diagnoses and gave me a letter to bring to what my school calls Access & Diversity, which basically is the hub where disabled students are able to get extra help in the form of extra exam time and things of that nature. I’m not at all saying that being disabled is bad, but I’ve never been placed in that “box” before myself and I think it kind of hurts my pride to ask for help, even though I know I need it. so, I’ll have the help I need before my next exams. I did well on all of my other midterms, though. 

[baetology]

I want attention and affection and intimacy and mushy shit.