at the rate that he was going , they would have NEVER worked but god she wished they had . part of her always felt like it was her responsibility to save him ; that if anyone could pull him out of his descend to darkness it would be their little family . when she found out she was having wyn , she was elated . finally , she would be enough . they would be his saving grace . and as quickly as she’d gotten the bright idea , presley destroyed it . he showed her exactly why they couldn’t be all the things she’d dreamed of . “ trust me , elle . ” she mocked the begging before he could even finish . his sentiment was so unbelievable she had to interject . he couldn’t be serious . as if she hadn’t put enough faith in him before he let her down . was he really placing the blame on her ? she was so sure he’d change . she’d planned out their future together : the house complete with a white picket fence so flawless that it could’ve been wrapped with a red bow . sometimes she believed their was still hope for them but she knew better than to ever bring that up to him . “ you’re so full of it . the only thing you’re trying to do is run yourself into a GRAVE . why do you even want to be a dad so badly ? what’s changed between now and hmm ... the first two years of her life ? ” the question she’s posing is a bit unfair . she hadn’t made it very easy for him to be in their daughter’s life once she saw his vices take hold of him . everything was always on elle’s terms . call it controlling or subjugating but it was the truth . presley was infamous for making questionable decisions . she hardly ever let wyn out of her sight anyhow . “ maybe it makes you feel good to think that but you and i both know i do a damn good job on my own . i can’t fall for all your sweet nothings anymore . if you’re going to change then do it but don’t wait on me to hold my breath for you . let’s drop this subject . ” she waves a dismissive hand in his direction . it’s too much to ponder . the tension is building and obviously , they’re both on edge because of it . it was a fine line : admiration and hate . lust and love . its just like all the other times they began bickering for insignificant reasons . at each other’s throats or down each other’s pants . there was no median . she’s compartmentalized so much of their relationship that it’s difficult to digest that they were once in love but she knows they were . at least she was . if he wasn’t , he did a oscar - worthy job pretending to worship the ground giselle walked on . time is unhurried and it’s the good kind of slow motion she’s accustomed where the heat between them radiates until they’re tearing at each other’s flesh . maybe it was wrong . to be so suggestive and erratic when she was preaching to him about consistency . “ maybe i do ... maybe i don’t . ” she can’t help but curl her lips into a smile . she longed to feel something more than just the unrelenting anger . she whispers , each word coming out long and slow . “ i think you should remind me , then . since apparently you know me so well . ”
though the blonde spent the better part of her week by herself , she’d never felt as alone as she did right now . their screaming match left her with a numbing migraine & surely the smooth waterfalls washing her cheeks isn’t helping . for the longest time , adalia believed she knew alexsander like the back of her hand . softness & gratitude were the only feelings she’d come to know in his presence . walking hand in hand with toes digging into the sand , she would look up at him & wonder how she’d gotten so lucky . unfortunately for her , it wasn’t luck that brought them together at all . alex was just like all the other men she’d come to hate . the similarities between the boy & her own father were impossible to deny now . the drinking , the women , the bad temper . ada inherited that same rage but as she sits with her head in her hands , all she can think about is the family she would never get to have with the boy she loved . her life would turn into the same shit show as her mother’s . adalia wanted to avoid melding into the generations of heartbroken women in her family . yet the faintest pink line of the test pregnancy test she took served as a dreadful omen for what was next to come . she would be just like her mother & her mother before that . the only thing more painful than ruining all the things she’d worked so hard for was being naive enough to think alexsander would stay . finally , the universe had managed to outsmart adalia haas . she resists the urge to scream & shout like a three year old , choosing instead to chew the inside of her lip as she did in high school . apologies are not to be expected when it comes to the boy , but the lack of accountability in this situation is skewed . he didn’t back her car into a trashcan or forget to water the plants . major consequences came with his decision . “ i just don’t know why you had to fuck her . it could’ve been anyone but it had to be her ? ” it’s not worth much , considering the damage is done . she can’t blame him , adalia reminds herself , it’s her own fault for putting him on a pedestal that he never agreed to be on , the same way as her mother had done to her . it was the blonde’s own stupidity that caused her to build her life around a boy she met in high school . she was practically imploring to ruin everything by mixing her life with his so young . and if punishment was what she wanted , then that was what she would get . now they were bound to each other , one way or another , for the rest of their little lives . marvelous . “ i’m sorry about sunday . you were right , i’m should’ve told you . ” the sleeve of her shirt makes an attempt to clean up the streaky mascara adorning her face . dark brows crease with his objection , words swimming out lips in a plea like manner & she struggles to understand him . it’s the tenderness in his voice that makes her heartburn , in the saddest way possible . mouth opens , though only a simple “ i missed my period ” rolls of the tongue . ocean orbs study his side profile , waiting silently for the inevitable rejection . “ i took the test fifteen days ago . i took four , actually . i splurged on the digital one that puts it in big bold letters . like that would change the answer or somethin’ . ”
the incessant thud of bass , along with the chatter among passer - byers as they enter the student - occupied complex does nothing to drown out the sound of her sniffling . and it takes the entirety of his being not to reach out to her , to soothe her – as he had done many times before . but there’s a feeling of self - loathe never ceasing to be present in his mind & just that drives him to stay in his spot . digits continue to tug at strands of brunet hair . a nervous tick , one he’d formed at a young age . “ she was just there , ada . i - i was mad . i didn’t know what to do with myself . ” a pathetic excuse , really . but truth be told , there wasn’t much to it than just that . “ but she doesn’t mean shit to me . you know that . ” foot tapping against the cement of the stairs , he’s abruptly filled with even more remorse . oh , if he could just rewind time to a few hours before , the night would be a whole lot different but now , he’s forced to live with the outcome of his own witless decision . her apology certainly stirs something within , it’s genuine & he’s willing to accept it , but he can’t help but wonder : “ do you , uh , have feelings for her ? ” it’s an inquiry that he may soon come to regret , but he has to know . he falls silent again & he near relishes in the relief that the lull provides , given their screaming battle just mere minutes ago . but once she speaks again , he finds himself astounded . mouth falls agape , almost as if he’d forgotten how to speak . he turns to face her , a simple word managing to fall from lips : “ what ? ” how much more of a fool could he be ? he’d heard her , of course . he just needed to hear it once more . and when she further explains , it becomes clear to him . frozen in place , the english boy isn’t quite sure how to react . “ you’re … ” cue a deep swallow . “ you’re pregnant ? ” he near whispers , gaze refusing to part from hers . “ you’re sure ? ” and he scolds himself for the last bit . sure , she was the one he’d pictured starting a family with , but years down – had the two been more careful . and now the penitence is eating at him , threatening to consume him whole . he had not only cheated on his girlfriend , which was bad enough in itself , he’d cheated on his pregnant girlfriend . disallowing his temper to get the best of him , he’s soon moving closer to her and hesitantly , he props himself on his knees before her , head promptly falling into her lap . “ i’m so sorry , ada . ”
future turning over in her mind , numbness from her chest has percolated to her entire being . fifteen days ago she was a normal california girl attending university , using an environmentally catastrophic amount of hairspray & attending spin classes a minimum of three times a week . these were supposed to be the best years of her life , the years to make the wildest & craziest memories possible . it wasn’t an option to spend her glory years raising a child . so all week , adalia simply did not think about it . avoiding the impending internal battle was easy enough when they were on the outs but she can’t deny there’s something freeing about telling him . part of her wasn’t taking it serious up until this conversation . “ well that makes me feel better . you have every girl at your beck & call . ” a bitter laugh falls from salty lips . apparently she was so insignificant , he was ready & willing to have sex with any girl who showed up . the typical american family : a wife who raises the children singlehandedly & a husband who can’t keep his hands from under another woman’s skirt . the woman offers a shrug as a response . “ maybe i would if things were different . i guess i just liked the attention . ” if memory served her right , giving small bits of the truth was still telling the truth , not technically lying by omission . it was for his own good if alexsander didn’t know too much when it came to sunday . it’s not like he would get it anyway . all the color draining from his features has ada ruminating over the most likely situation – single motherhood . prior to tonight , it was never even considered . knowing what she does now has forced her to see the gravity of the situation . if she was going to do this , it would be at her own expense . judging by his tone it was palpable to assume her ex didn’t want any part of it . alex was a bachelor with a reputation that could not be succeeded by fatherhood so early into his twenties . the boy had proven tonight that if women were involved , they’re drop their panties without a second thought . she prefers loneliness over the brunet’s company in misery . clearing her throat , watching yet another droplet face from her face & roll down her sweatshirt . giving a meek shrug , the woman contemplates the repercussions of answering . if he hadn’t already done so , a breakup at this very second would be appropriate . given his family history , his ideas about starting a family had to mirror her own : absolutely terrifying . “ i had a doctor’s appointment yesterday to get a scan but i ... ” lips ever so softly emit a sigh before continuing , “ i skipped it . ” a last ditch effort to settle the question of the hour for good . outgoing as she may be , it took every ounce of courage in her tiny frame to even book the appointment . “ i didn’t want to go alone but i didn’t want to ask heidi . i didn’t want to tell anyone ... ” if she wasn’t going to keep it . shortly after making the phone call , adalia came to the conclusion a resolution about keeping the baby was inexorable once the pregnancy was confirmed . actually working through the stress of this life change made too much sense for her do to . manicured nails trace against the man’s scalp , an attempt to somehow pacify them both . “ i know this doesn’t change anything about us . ”
summers filled with joyous laughter , wandering through poppy fields illuminated by the california sun with her high school sweetheart all feel like a distant memory now . the blame game will get them nowhere , yet she’s pointing the finger at alexsander as if there aren’t three more pointing back at her . what she did was erroneous , sure , but this is wicked . the blonde reminds herself of this , all the while the male is digging himself deeper & deeper into a hole she’s not sure they can recover from . his remarks are cruel , stinging worse than her freshly split skin . “ you didn’t even give me a chance to try to make sense of what was going on ! we could’ve talked about it ! you know , like adults do . you didn’t have to go and do this ! i know what you saw , or what you think you saw , but in no fuckin’ way was it as obvious as this . ” she gestures toward the unmade bed , a symbol of what could have transpired if she’d talked herself out of coming over in the first place . there’s a reason for her clouded judgment , the experimentation of two college girls who got too confident & misguided by the lyrics of a katy perry song . could alex really say the same ? a question she won’t bother asking . he had to have known she was curious . certainly he couldn’t have expected her to go her entire life — the big wedding , the house , the kids , the wrinkles — without exploring that side of sexuality .
jaw tensing , balling her digits into fists is the best she can do to keep from toppling him over . eyes roll at the mention of sunday . “ you’ve been best friends for what , all of two seconds ? i have cabernet older than your friendship . ” like gasoline , he ignites a fire in her overcrowded with all the worst things about her . “ as if it’s really even a big deal anyway ! you didn’t seem to mind when we were grinding against each other at parties ! are you just mad that you weren’t there to get off to it ? ” busy mind won’t allow for memories of the other girl just yet . a tinge of pain settles into her temples . if the anger in her eyes is plainly visible , alex sure does a good job of not caring . a scoff sits on the tip of her tongue , eagerly waiting to swim out of her lips with his ‘ i fucked her ’ , silently cussing at herself for being so wrong about him. the final comment is what swiftly brings her palm to his cheek . hell hath no fury . “ go to hell , alexsander . ” states the blonde with a flat , emotionless voice . the woman’s doe - like features are dumbfounded . corners of her vision become bleary as tears spill down her cheeks & every beat betwixt labored breathing is a meek sniffle . the cloth flies right past her . “ keep your fuckin’ cum towel ! ” half screaming , half crying , the girl is slipping into dangerous territory of fully snapping in this apartment . quickly turning on her heel , the woman makes sure to knock down anything within arms reach on her way to the bedroom door , creating an even larger pile of glass & chaos . she saves the best for last , choosing to hurl a photo frame in his direction . “ i fucking hate you . I knew you’d be piece of shit like your father . ” she regrets the last part , slamming his door shut on the austere final words , leaving the boy alone to mull over the horrific things they’ve said . adalia sinks down onto the top step , wishing the blaring speakers will drown out the sounds of her sobbing .
a displeasing scoff falls from lips , accompanied by the rolling of iridescent hues . “ fuck off , ada . ” the combination of three words leaving a sour taste in his mouth ! “ i didn’t know you were actually fuckin’ into her . ” the absolute last thing he wanted to be was a restrictive boyfriend – she was entirely free to do as she pleased . and he’d never want to disparage her sexuality . had he of known . chiseled features soften once more , tone lowering to one of a much lower octave . “ you could’ve told me , you know ? ” eyes meet hers , a meld of comprehension and ache clear on his face . but in just moments , he’s shaking his head . any penitent thoughts being replaced by ones of a astringent manner . and what happens next , completely blindsides him . the action nearly sending his vision fuzzy . an invasive image of his own mother doing same thing to his father overtaking in his mind . and he can’t cease the utter look of loathe brought to his face , the skin of his cheek near glowing red . “ get out . ” again . and it’s rather emotionless , but before she was able to do just that , he’s swiftly moving about the room . gathering anything she’d left behind throughout the duration of their relationship . t - shirts , skincare items , and her toothbrush , are a few things that he managed to collect in the span of a few seconds and he simply elects to toss them from his room and into the hallway . “ take your shit and get the fuck out . ” and as she adds to the heap of disarray , his guise doesn’t falter . even as the frame barrels past him . even at the comparison of him to his father . stone cold . when the door slams behind her , his own foot is moving to kick against the wooden paneling . almost as if he had to be the one to have some sort of final remark . finally alone . he’s completely still , drowning in the perplexity of what had just unfolded . and for the first time that night , tears threaten the spill from his eyes , but he refuses to succumb to it . the english boy moves to pick up the shattered frame , slender digits grazing the crackled glass , which housed an old photo of the two from high school . in truth , he doesn’t want to be alone . there’s nothing to distract him from his own thoughts , half of the reason why he’d invited roxie over in the first place . the opening of his door brings him to and his roommate hesitantly steps into the room , alex begins to dismiss him , but the other boy simply informs him of the blonde’s whereabouts . and soon , he’s stepping into jeans and making his way to her . reluctant to approach , he near forces himself to endure the sound of her sobs . it is what he caused . he eventually makes his presence known , settling down on the step below hers . “ i fucked up , ada . and i get it if you don’t want to see me again . ” he begins , fingers trailing through disheveled hair . “ but i really don’t want to fuckin’ lose you . ”
though the blonde spent the better part of her week by herself , she’d never felt as alone as she did right now . their screaming match left her with a numbing migraine & surely the smooth waterfalls washing her cheeks isn’t helping . for the longest time , adalia believed she knew alexsander like the back of her hand . softness & gratitude were the only feelings she’d come to know in his presence . walking hand in hand with toes digging into the sand , she would look up at him & wonder how she’d gotten so lucky . unfortunately for her , it wasn’t luck that brought them together at all . alex was just like all the other men she’d come to hate . the similarities between the boy & her own father were impossible to deny now . the drinking , the women , the bad temper . ada inherited that same rage but as she sits with her head in her hands , all she can think about is the family she would never get to have with the boy she loved . her life would turn into the same shit show as her mother’s . adalia wanted to avoid melding into the generations of heartbroken women in her family . yet the faintest pink line of the test pregnancy test she took served as a dreadful omen for what was next to come . she would be just like her mother & her mother before that . the only thing more painful than ruining all the things she’d worked so hard for was being naive enough to think alexsander would stay . finally , the universe had managed to outsmart adalia haas . she resists the urge to scream & shout like a three year old , choosing instead to chew the inside of her lip as she did in high school . apologies are not to be expected when it comes to the boy , but the lack of accountability in this situation is skewed . he didn’t back her car into a trashcan or forget to water the plants . major consequences came with his decision . “ i just don’t know why you had to fuck her . it could’ve been anyone but it had to be her ? ” it’s not worth much , considering the damage is done . she can’t blame him , adalia reminds herself , it’s her own fault for putting him on a pedestal that he never agreed to be on , the same way as her mother had done to her . it was the blonde’s own stupidity that caused her to build her life around a boy she met in high school . she was practically imploring to ruin everything by mixing her life with his so young . and if punishment was what she wanted , then that was what she would get . now they were bound to each other , one way or another , for the rest of their little lives . marvelous . “ i’m sorry about sunday . you were right , i should’ve told you . ” the sleeve of her shirt makes an attempt to clean up the streaky mascara adorning her face . dark brows crease with his objection , words swimming out lips in a plea like manner & she struggles to understand him . it’s the tenderness in his voice that makes her heartburn , in the saddest way possible . mouth opens , though only a simple “ i missed my period ” rolls of the tongue . ocean orbs study his side profile , waiting silently for the inevitable rejection . “ i took the test fifteen days ago . i took four , actually . i splurged on the digital one that puts it in big bold letters . like that would change the answer or somethin’ . ”
out of the hundreds of things ada could’ve imagined him doing , this scenario never crossed her mind . while she wallowed in her sorrows , shaky digits dialing his number by heart , he was fucking someone they both knew . a hypocrite , that’s what she is . wasn’t she caught doing something eerily similar ? god , they needed to learn to lock their doors . of course , it should be easier to just not cheat at all but apparently , that’s not something either of them are capable of . it’s not a victimless crime & yet , neither party can be granted the title . how could she be so damn stupid ? the breath is still desperately trying to escape her lungs when roxie’s frame scurries out , knocking some wind into her in the process . the more he approaches , the further away the blonde goes until she’s backed herself into the furniture situation next to the door . she tries to maintain some semblance of calmness . if one could die from heartbreak , she would be pronounced dead on the scene . if it wasn’t for the solid thumping ringing through her ears , adalia would think her heart was hollow . she can’t even hear alexsander over the sound of her own choking . his apology ends up pulling her out of the inner monologue bordering on a classic vacuum of self loathing . there was really no denying what she just witnessed – the lipstick peppered on his face is the smoking gun to already very damming evidence . she can’t pretend this never happened but shit does she want to . “ so this is why you haven’t returned my calls … ” less of a question & more of a very sad realization . all this time she believed she was the moon to his sun . little did she know she was bound to disappear in the sea of bodies ever so lucky to end up next to him . but why ? for years , he’d been the only light in her life . now she was in total darkness , forced by a higher power to navigate this obsidian abyss alone . the deafening silence in the room is broken by fragments of a bottle scattering the floor . this ignites something in the blonde that she wasn’t expecting . he doesn’t get to be angry about a situation he caused . given the circumstances , his apology means very little but still . how dare he try to cause a scene . “ fuck you , alex . ” she matches his volume but it’s not enough . she needs more . she needs to show him just how infuriated & humiliated she is . without a doubt , their entire friend group will know about this before she can even make it home . wincing as the flecks of glass lodge into her foot , adalia closes the space between them & shoves him as hard as she can . “ you’re such a fucking asshole . how could you do this to me ? and with her ? did you fuck her ? ” another push . “ you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants for three days !? you’re going to throw our relationship away for some skank ? i bet she just jumped at the chance to blow you . i fucking knew it . ” the sentences leave her mouth faster than her little rabbit brain can digest before she’s shoving him again . it’s wrong , it’s wholly uncalled for but it’s how she feels . why can’t she stop crying ? “ don’t just stand there . go chase after your little plaything . heaven knows you want to ! by all means don’t stop on my account ! she was butt naked in your bed but now she means nothing because your girlfriend showed up ? bullshit . ” orbs break away from his for a brief moment to assess the mess on the ground . small pools of red are left in her wake between the littered floor . “ fuck you . ” she repeats .
he’s seething , jaw clenching as he soaks in each and every word spilling from her lips . stifling a laugh , he shakes his head in response to her speculation . “ nah , i didn’t answer your calls because i didn’t wanna fuckin’ talk to you . i needed fuckin’ space , ada . from you .. from us . ” and how could he not ? just days before , he was essentially worshipping the ground she walked on . the two so inseparable that one may even deem it unhealthy , but did that phase them ? absolutely not . but as they were expeditiously learning , things were so invariably susceptible to change . glossed - over hues observe the clutter of glass he’d produced , watching as she moves closer to him , her almost strident tone triggering even more indignation within him . and when her palms meet his chest , he’s sent a few steps back , blood nearing the point of boiling . “ me ? do you fuckin’ hear yourself , ada ? you’re not the fuckin’ victim here . don’t try to play it . ” he opts to leave her inquiry unanswered , the truth clear in the state of his room and appearance . his bed pillows thrown about the room , aged and swiftly ripped - open condom wrappers , the darkened marks painted across his collarbone , dampened locks of brunet hair stuck against his forehead — there was no chance in him denying it . he stumbles back , yet again and he’s quick in his attempts to move away from her . “ i’m the one throwing our relationship away ? fuckin’ christ , adalia . you were fuckin’ around with my best friend behind my back . my fuckin’ best friend . you don’t get to act like you’re so fuckin’ innocent here . ” and it’s her final push , that flings him over the edge . “ i fucked her . ” and there’s her answer . “ almost fucked her at caleb’s party , too . ” a statement he’d never expected himself to admit to . though , it was sure to get her to leave , he thought . he does take note of the red trail coming from her foot and he tries hard not to care , but it’s still her and in turn , he moves to pick up a small towel and chuck it in her direction . “ now , get out of my fuckin’ room . ”
summers filled with joyous laughter , wandering through poppy fields illuminated by the california sun with her high school sweetheart all feel like a distant memory now . the blame game will get them nowhere , yet she’s pointing the finger at alexsander as if there aren’t three more pointing back at her . what she did was erroneous , sure , but this is wicked . the blonde reminds herself of this , all the while the male is digging himself deeper & deeper into a hole she’s not sure they can recover from . his remarks are cruel , stinging worse than her freshly split skin . “ you didn’t even give me a chance to try to make sense of what was going on ! we could’ve talked about it ! you know , like adults do . you didn’t have to go and do this ! i know what you saw , or what you think you saw , but in no fuckin’ way was it as obvious as this . ” she gestures toward the unmade bed , a symbol of what could have transpired if she’d talked herself out of coming over in the first place . there’s a reason for her clouded judgment , the experimentation of two college girls who got too confident & misguided by the lyrics of a katy perry song . could alex really say the same ? a question she won’t bother asking . he had to have known she was curious . certainly he couldn’t have expected her to go her entire life — the big wedding , the house , the kids , the wrinkles — without exploring that side of sexuality .
jaw tensing , balling her digits into fists is the best she can do to keep from toppling him over . eyes roll at the mention of sunday . “ you’ve been best friends for what , all of two seconds ? i have cabernet older than your friendship . ” like gasoline , he ignites a fire in her overcrowded with all the worst things about her . “ as if it’s really even a big deal anyway ! you didn’t seem to mind when we were grinding against each other at parties ! are you just mad that you weren’t there to get off to it ? ” busy mind won’t allow for memories of the other girl just yet . a tinge of pain settles into her temples . if the anger in her eyes is plainly visible , alex sure does a good job of not caring . a scoff sits on the tip of her tongue , eagerly waiting to swim out of her lips with his ‘ i fucked her ’ , silently cussing at herself for being so wrong about him. the final comment is what swiftly brings her palm to his cheek . hell hath no fury . “ go to hell , alexsander . ” states the blonde with a flat , emotionless voice . the woman’s doe - like features are dumbfounded . corners of her vision become bleary as tears spill down her cheeks & every beat betwixt labored breathing is a meek sniffle . the cloth flies right past her . “ keep your fuckin’ cum towel ! ” half screaming , half crying , the girl is slipping into dangerous territory of fully snapping in this apartment . quickly turning on her heel , the woman makes sure to knock down anything within arms reach on her way to the bedroom door , creating an even larger pile of glass & chaos . she saves the best for last , choosing to hurl a photo frame in his direction . “ i fucking hate you . I knew you’d be piece of shit like your father . ” she regrets the last part , slamming his door shut on the austere final words , leaving the boy alone to mull over the horrific things they’ve said . adalia sinks down onto the top step , wishing the blaring speakers will drown out the sounds of her sobbing .
adalia finds herself repeating ‘ what the fuck was i thinking ’. like a mantra , as if her pea sized brain would ever forget the massive mistake she made . her weary mind still allows her to continue through the rest of the week , dutifully performing the most important tasks with mechanical movements while her thoughts run wild . it’s not like he’s answering her calls anyway . sleep . class . work . an endless purgatory without him . it’s one she deserves , doubtlessly . its approaching seven thirty when jittery hands navigate her car to his place . like nights before , she’s expecting he’s nowhere to be found . and what a pleasant surprise it is when she sees his car right out front for the first time in three days . butterflies cloud her stomach , drowning out the vicious assault from her own subconscious . with the engine off ada makes out a familiar melody beating through the bass of their speakers . a small fist taps at the front door in the same rhythm as always . once . twice . thrice before she sighs , placing her back against the wood & sliding down to the ground . of course he’s avoiding her . mind crawls back to the memory of her shitty excuses followed by him slamming the door in her face . she’s in luck when a roommate takes pity on her & invites her in . the blonde nearly topples over the women’s shoes in the middle of the foyer but lends it no further thought as she makes her way to his room .
she hasn’t rehearsed a single thought but she’s dying to tell him everything from the very beginning . she’s eager to find some way to redeem herself . there’s no way she’ll allow the other night to be the last conversation they have about this . adalia won’t allow herself to think negatively . she can’t . all she has to do is tell the truth in it’s entirety . their love has transcended all the petty high school drama . surely they can survive what comes their way in college . the guilt is practically eating her alive . there’s a strange noise emitting from behind one of the bedroom doors , increasing in pitch before slowly beginning to diminuendo . as soon as she tries to make out the words , the crescendo starts again . perhaps breaking up with his girlfriend has made alexsander more somber than she would have guessed . he’s watching a movie at home on a friday night instead of throwing himself into a bender . there’s those butterflies again . pure , adulterated love . that’s what they had . how else could one explain the optimism in her heart at this very second . alexsander & ada were destined to be together . modern day johnny & winona . the feeling of sheer happiness is torn into two when she twists the knob to reveal a figure lying on the bed . a hand moves to cover her bare breasts . smug doesn’t scratch the surface of roxie’s countenance when her eyes meet adalia’s . taking a small step back , adalia tries her best not to overreact . had she walked into the wrong room ? a quick scan of the room provides that she isn’t , however, alexsander is nowhere to be found . there’s clearly an explanation for this debacle besides what her eyes are trying to piece together . that fairytale is promptly disproven when the comforter draping her waist is aggressively yanked off of her by an obviously vexed man . her boyfriend , to be exact . he’s been caught red - handed in between the legs of a friend . she takes another step away . it’s like a scene out of a horror movie . sans rose-colored glasses , she can see his jeans & belt hanging over the headboard & the hastily ripped condom on the side table . “ what the fuck . ” stilted , adalia swallows roughly , hoping its enough to stop the bile from rising in her throat . his expression contorts into something unfamiliar , unrecognizable even . or perhaps that’s just the well of tears blurring her vision . her heart knows well before she can comprehend , leaving the blonde with an emptiness in her chest where she used to feel whole . she lets out breath as if to laugh . yet she can’t stop . try as she may , she can’t seem to catch her staggered breathing . “ i think i’m going to throw up . ”
to be quite truthful , the brunet boy isn’t certain what to feel . there’s an ever present pain in his chest — but was it stemming from hurt or his subconscious guilt ? how could he be so provoked by her actions when he’d done nearly the same thing ? ( if not worse ) whatever it was , he’d elected to spend most of his time oblivious to genuine emotions . continually stuck in a fogged mind . he couldn’t bring himself to speak to her , instantly hitting decline on her calls as soon as her picture illuminated his phone screen . he’d even went so far as to crashing on someone else’s couch the past few nights , due to the overwhelming aroma of her as he lay in his own sheets . he couldn’t escape her , no matter how hard he tried . and tonight was only different in the slightest , his space being occupied by a presence other than his own . and what began as a movie night between friends … had swiftly escalated into something more . with the addition of various substances . he’d blame it on his abnormally high ( for him ) level of intoxication , but soon , the two found themselves bare amongst cotton sheets , with a pair of slender legs thrown atop his shoulders . the interruption halts actions , him moving to throw the comforter off , allowing him to scald their visitor and partly to shield her from prying eyes . before glossed eyes meet them , a muttered string of curse words fly from swollen lips . “ the fuck is your problem , dude ? ” head finally tilts towards his door , cerulean hues widening upon the realization of who it really was . he’s frozen , unsure of what to do , mouth agape in utter shock . “ ada .. ” he finally musters , scrambling to pull the loose sheet around his waist . he springs from the mattress , fingers running through tousled locks . “ ada , listen to me .. ” the boy begins , words falling out in a stuttering mess as he moves closer to her . “ she doesn’t mean shit to me . i swear to you . ” cue the other blonde girl briskly moving about the room to gather her scattered clothes and push past his girlfriend to exit . “ i’m so sorry . ” is he , though ? he ponders the thought – a taste of her own medicine . and now , both hands are tugging at sweat - coated strands , moving to turn on his heel to face the opposite wall . “ fuck ! ” he lets out , the shrill of his voice high enough to wake their neighbors . acting on impulse , he moves across the room to his side table and in one swift motion , he sends glass bottles to the floor , shards soon covering a majority of the hardwood . he then looks back at her , stern features softening upon meeting her eyes .
out of the hundreds of things ada could’ve imagined him doing , this scenario never crossed her mind . while she wallowed in her sorrows , shaky digits dialing his number by heart , he was fucking someone they both knew . a hypocrite , that’s what she is . wasn’t she caught doing something eerily similar ? god , they needed to learn to lock their doors . of course , it should be easier to just not cheat at all but apparently , that’s not something either of them are capable of . it’s not a victimless crime & yet , neither party can be granted the title . how could she be so damn stupid ? the breath is still desperately trying to escape her lungs when roxie’s frame scurries out , knocking some wind into her in the process . the more he approaches , the further away the blonde goes until she’s backed herself into the furniture situation next to the door . she tries to maintain some semblance of calmness . if one could die from heartbreak , she would be pronounced dead on the scene . if it wasn’t for the solid thumping ringing through her ears , adalia would think her heart was hollow . she can’t even hear alexsander over the sound of her own choking . his apology ends up pulling her out of the inner monologue bordering on a classic vacuum of self loathing . there was really no denying what she just witnessed – the lipstick peppered on his face is the smoking gun to already very damming evidence . she can’t pretend this never happened but shit does she want to . “ so this is why you haven’t returned my calls ... ” less of a question & more of a very sad realization . all this time she believed she was the moon to his sun . little did she know she was bound to disappear in the sea of bodies ever so lucky to end up next to him . but why ? for years , he’d been the only light in her life . now she was in total darkness , forced by a higher power to navigate this obsidian abyss alone . the deafening silence in the room is broken by fragments of a bottle scattering the floor . this ignites something in the blonde that she wasn’t expecting . he doesn’t get to be angry about a situation he caused . given the circumstances , his apology means very little but still . how dare he try to cause a scene . “ fuck you , alex . ” she matches his volume but it's not enough . she needs more . she needs to show him just how infuriated & humiliated she is . without a doubt , their entire friend group will know about this before she can even make it home . wincing as the flecks of glass lodge into her foot , adalia closes the space between them & shoves him as hard as she can . “ you’re such a fucking asshole . how could you do this to me ? and with her ? did you fuck her ? ” another push . “ you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants for three days !? you’re going to throw our relationship away for some skank ? i bet she just jumped at the chance to blow you . i fucking knew it . ” the sentences leave her mouth faster than her little rabbit brain can digest before she's shoving him again . it’s wrong , it’s wholly uncalled for but it’s how she feels . why can’t she stop crying ? “ don’t just stand there . go chase after your little plaything . heaven knows you want to ! by all means don’t stop on my account ! she was butt naked in your bed but now she means nothing because your girlfriend showed up ? bullshit . ” orbs break away from his for a brief moment to assess the mess on the ground . small pools of red are left in her wake between the littered floor . “ fuck you . ” she repeats .
adalia finds herself repeating ‘ what the fuck was i thinking ’. like a mantra , as if her pea sized brain would ever forget the massive mistake she made . her weary mind still allows her to continue through the rest of the week , dutifully performing the most important tasks with mechanical movements while her thoughts run wild . it’s not like he’s answering her calls anyway . sleep . class . work . an endless purgatory without him . it’s one she deserves , doubtlessly . its approaching seven thirty when jittery hands navigate her car to his place . like nights before , she’s expecting he’s nowhere to be found . and what a pleasant surprise it is when she sees his car right out front for the first time in three days . butterflies cloud her stomach , drowning out the vicious assault from her own subconscious . with the engine off ada makes out a familiar melody beating through the bass of their speakers . a small fist taps at the front door in the same rhythm as always . once . twice . thrice before she sighs , placing her back against the wood & sliding down to the ground . of course he’s avoiding her . mind crawls back to the memory of her shitty excuses followed by him slamming the door in her face . she’s in luck when a roommate takes pity on her & invites her in . the blonde nearly topples over the women’s shoes in the middle of the foyer but lends it no further thought as she makes her way to his room .
she hasn’t rehearsed a single thought but she’s dying to tell him everything from the very beginning . she’s eager to find some way to redeem herself . there’s no way she’ll allow the other night to be the last conversation they have about this . adalia won’t allow herself to think negatively . she can’t . all she has to do is tell the truth in it’s entirety . their love has transcended all the petty high school drama . surely they can survive what comes their way in college . the guilt is practically eating her alive . there’s a strange noise emitting from behind one of the bedroom doors , increasing in pitch before slowly beginning to diminuendo . as soon as she tries to make out the words , the crescendo starts again . perhaps breaking up with his girlfriend has made alexsander more somber than she would have guessed . he’s watching a movie at home on a friday night instead of throwing himself into a bender . there’s those butterflies again . pure , adulterated love . that’s what they had . how else could one explain the optimism in her heart at this very second . alexsander & ada were destined to be together . modern day johnny & winona . the feeling of sheer happiness is torn into two when she twists the knob to reveal a figure lying on the bed . a hand moves to cover her bare breasts . smug doesn’t scratch the surface of roxie’s countenance when her eyes meet adalia’s . taking a small step back , adalia tries her best not to overreact . had she walked into the wrong room ? a quick scan of the room provides that she isn’t , however, alexsander is nowhere to be found . there’s clearly an explanation for this debacle besides what her eyes are trying to piece together . that fairytale is promptly disproven when the comforter draping her waist is aggressively yanked off of her by an obviously vexed man . her boyfriend , to be exact . he’s been caught red - handed in between the legs of a friend . she takes another step away . it’s like a scene out of a horror movie . sans rose-colored glasses , she can see his jeans & belt hanging over the headboard & the hastily ripped condom on the side table . “ what the fuck . ” stilted , adalia swallows roughly , hoping its enough to stop the bile from rising in her throat . his expression contorts into something unfamiliar , unrecognizable even . or perhaps that's just the well of tears blurring her vision . her heart knows well before she can comprehend , leaving the blonde with an emptiness in her chest where she used to feel whole . she lets out breath as if to laugh . yet she can’t stop . try as she may , she can't seem to catch her staggered breathing . “ i think i’m going to throw up . ”
near - calloused palms brush against black slacks , prints of batter & flour finding place amongst the fabric & the boy soon lets out a rather exasperating sigh . of all the places he could be — on a saturday night , a greasy kitchen was certainly not the one he preferred . though , his proximity to her unquestionably eased some of his vexation . his ten minute break had flew by & he’s setting a box of cigarettes back in his locker when he catches a glimpse of blonde tresses pass him by , quick to turn & catch her wrist in his hand , he adroitly pulls her back to him . “ you wanna just get out of here ? ” he presses a soft kiss to her lips , fingertips pressing into the skin of her waist . “ think we could get away with it ? ”
in theory , the seasonal sexy santa uniform was undeniably cute & mean girls winter talent show adjacent . yet merely six hours into her shift , adalia was sure she’d have a serious rash from the itchy , unethically sourced costume . the blonde was running tables all night long . apparently crispy wings & hot girls were necessities for watching a football game at a sports bar . she’s skipping into the kitchen to check on said wings for her high top table when familiar arms envelop her . the nicotine lingering on his breath twists the corners of her plump lips into a frown despite how glad she is to see him . “ please ? i spent a solid five minutes explaining the concept of beer battered fish to middle aged woman . “ in adalia’s case , ditching work was not unheard of . as much as she loved the relationships she harvested , sometimes she couldn’t be bothered with the customers who didn’t have a clue . “ i think we can manage it . they’ll never even know we’re gone . “ she insists , unable to help the way she leans in closer to him as his hands grip her . she just wants to be near him , as close as she can get . they’re completely inseparable . working together , attending the same college and practically living under the same roof. the latter is a step she’s finally willing to take... if only alex would ask .
waking up that morning , felt to be dissimilar from the rest . he’s quick to rub his temples – mind s t r i v i n g to recall the rather peculiar dreams he’d had . though , he chalks the fogginess up to the potency of sunday’s new strain from the previous night and soon , viridescent eyes open to the sight of the blonde still asleep next to him . he moves from the mattress , careful not to disturb her and pads across the wooden floor to his bathroom . a steamy shower would clear his head , wouldn’t it ? unsurprisingly , he still can’t shake the aberrant hallucinations . but if there were one thing that could ease his discontent , it would be her . clad in a simple pair of sweatpants , he returns to his shared bed … his frame pressing against her much smaller one and an arm snaking tightly around her waist , he relishes in the sheer comfort that her presence provides . a two thousand & ten starter for @adalics , the morning after the reunion .
rarely does ada ever get an entire night’s sleep s o b e r on the weekend. like her favorite blondie tune , one way or another her friends or coworkers found a way to rip the senior away from her studies and immerse herself in the joys of frat - life . last night was by all accounts no different than all the rest of her saturdays at rom valley . this revelation was clear by the pounding in her skull the second her eyes fluttered open . everything is a bit h a z y . her surroundings and the events from night’s past included . the only thing lingering is a deep gut wrenching sadness . not melancholy , no this consumed her . it was the kind of dream that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing straight . instinctively , she pats at the empty space next to her for easement . he could never slip out of bed without the ‘ kill bill ‘ sirens subconsciously alerting her . the blonde finds her footing on the floor , stepping over a pile of their clothes mixed together on her way to the bathroom . even after five years ada couldn’t abandon her hygiene , or more specifically , her desire to brush her teeth as soon as sun peered through the curtains . she tiptoes back to bed while making a mental note of their very necessary and overdue laundry day . ‘ what the fuck did we do last night ? ’ a guttural groan expels from her lips as he envelops her , the duvet from his bed draped over ada’s physique . after a few moments of stillness , she adjusts her position to fully face the boy , a hoarse chuckle breaking the silence . ‘ i can hardly remember a thing past making out with some dashingly handsome but dreadfully brooding bassist . i had the craziest dream to tell you about but now i can’t recall . ’
hi ! i’m laney ! ada’s background got a little long winded ( sorry not sorry ) but the tldr; sad girl turned sweet party girl turned sad girl again . if you like this post i’ll come plot with you ! i can be reached on disc @ 𝖍𝖊𝖝 𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑𝖘 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙#5769 . it’s easier for me to keep up with but if you prefer tumblr , that’s cool too .
( scarlett leithold & elizabeth lail ) bopping along to teenage dream by katy perry is adalia haas - foster , the twenty one year old cisfemale thrown back to their psychology days with some of her memories . voted most likely to put others first , ada was known for being devoted & obstinate , go figures you'd always find them making out at a frat party , but grew up to be pragmatic & sepulchral . ✎ laney , 21 , she/her , est .
trigger warning : death , child loss , self - harm , alcoholism , adultery/infidelity , car accidents .
the basics
𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : adalia josephine haas - foster .
𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : ada .
𝐚𝐠𝐞 : twenty - one .
𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 : february 14th .
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 / 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 : cisfemale / her : she .
𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 : san diego , california .
𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 : american . german .
𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 : english .
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 : idk yet lmao .
𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 : sun kissed skin gleaming under the warm sun , saccharine vowels falling out of glossy lips , too many unanswered texts and missed calls to ever get rid of the notification bubble , an eagerness for affection she could never shake .
background
your unwed parents were elated but nervous to welcome two children into the world at once . you arrived twelve minutes ahead of your sibling . before you , they had never seen a sparkle in someone’s eyes as bright as yours — one deep & cornflower blue , the other dipped in honey with speckles of gold . the first eleven years of your life were blissful , content , easy - going . you were the flower girl at their wedding . your father was a pilot in the marines . your sweet mother didn’t know a thing until it was too late . she was a labor & delivery nurse with long hours . she was a bit of a treehugger . you grew up recycling & never eating a meal with animal products . when she wasn’t working , she was taking care of the kids . she didn’t notice when he came home too l a t e . or when he didn’t swing by during lunch . she had no reason to suspect he was fooling around during his deployments ( and his days off , for that matter ) . one day there was a knock at the door . a fellow officer had come by to tell mrs . haas that she had fallen pregnant ... with mr . haas’s baby . by the time mr . haas pulled into the driveway following a tiresome shift , you were long gone .
you adapted to the san francisco area well enough . the burden of two children was getting the best of your mother so you never complained . when your oma came to live with you , things were starting to look up for you . conversations with dad were fleeting but he told you he missed you . and he loved you . he told you about your new baby brother . thirteen would be the last year you received a birthday card from your father before you stopped hearing from him at all . your mother went into travel nursing that same year . she needed an escape . a new start . but she wouldn’t uproot her family again . so as she traveled the continental u.s. , you & your sibling stayed behind with oma . you were always a mommy’s girl . she was your idol . and then she was gone . you formed a friendship with your oma . you learned her recipes , the shows she liked & the songs she loved to sing . but the scars on your wrists proved how lonely you truly were .
your life was dull . you wanted to feel something . cutting led to drinking which led to parties which led to boys . they said they adored you , but you quickly learned that only meant they adored what was in your pants . when you didn’t put out , they made up lies . you kept your circle small from that point forward . you looked out for them & they looked out for you . your brief brushes with love & the lived experience of divorce hardened you . until you saw him . alexsander knew the rumors of course , but that didn’t stop him from asking you on a date . in the beginning you were afraid . stand - offish . but he won your heart . you’d be inseparable ever since . you’d never seen a love quite like his . gentle , passionate , devoted . his flaws were merely tiny hiccups in your happily ever after . you could fix him , the way he fixed you . when it was time for college , you couldn’t let him go . rom valley wasn’t too far away from your old life with oma . with a tank full of gas & a couple of hours on the road , you could easily visit . so you left . you joined a sorority & other organizations . your job at twin peaks was supposed to be ironic but your quite the chatty cathy . lonely men were eager for your conversation , so , the money was good . not that you needed it . but the independence felt nice . you majored in psychology because you wanted to help girls who reminded you of yourself . college was the best time of your life .
you would’ve sworn that happiness would last forever . then you got the call from your mother . she was thousands of miles away & frantic . she said oma had a heart attack . in the three hours it took to drive home , she passed away . you were crushed . but alexsander was there . he made sure you didn’t slip through the cracks . he supported you through your grief . life returned to normal after a few months . the guilt lingered . you smiled through it . when you graduated , you began working for a publishing company . a professor recommended you for the job , actually . you loved it . you got married . you had a baby . alina . because she was the light of your life . if you couldn’t have the perfect family then you would make your own . it slipped alexsander’s mind to pick up his daughter from practice . you chastised him , reminding him that nothing was more important than his family . you were hit by a drunk driver going above the speed limit . only ten minutes away from home . of the two passengers , only you survived . they told you in the hospital that she died on impact . your precious alina didn’t feel any pain . but you did . you couldn’t eat or sleep . you fell into a deep depression . a wife who loses a husband is a widow . a child that loses its parents is an orphan . there’s no word for a parent who loses their child . that’s how awful the loss is . and where was your prince ? drowning his sorrows in brown liquor . when you lost her , you lost him too . you tried to help . you tried to set aside your grief to heal him too . it didn’t work . the man lying next to you was a stranger . so you left . you took your time filing for a divorce . you put all your focus into writing a book . the tale of a girl who lost every love she’d ever known . it was you . a new york times best seller . you toured the world sharing your story . your mother served your husband the papers a month before the reunion . the event completely slipped your mind .
personality
you can be one of the most loyal people any could ever encounter because you’re is so thoughtful & generous . everyone knows you’re goal - oriented . naturally , it’s rather difficult for you to let people in so when you actually do care for someone you’ll will go to the ends of the earth to prove her friendship . even in a platonic sense you’re often embracing others , holding hands or placing pecks on the cheek . you’re innately charismatic , perceptive , & observant . your radiant personality has it’s less admirable side . you’re known to be a little too sensitive , sarcastic , envious , bellicose . a mix of her upbringing & her aquarius sun sign . your life has made you jaded . you’re not the bottle blonde you were in college . you can’t have a meal without having a drink . there’s a crack in your smile that even you can’t hide .
