[paper stars]

a poetry blog from AdamantineSoul on DA

[adamantink]

[Ghost II ]

I sprouted from the swamp

Lungs full of weeds and I

Dragged my broken soul along

I grew bitter I grew tall

All I could taste was mud

And through mud I crawled

Dug for pieces you hacked

From my heart from my bones

Back in the holes they belonged

I held myself together

With flowers reeds and grass

And when I emerged I was strong

Swam across the river back towards home and let the mud drain from my bones and wash away from my skin

Until I felt like myself again

Washed-up Osiris I may be

But now, now I can breathe

-adamantink

[adamantink]

[Astra]

"I want to go home."

No.

I want

To follow the stars

(ad astra)

I want

To reach for the gleam

And dream

And yearn

For Apollos, for suns, for silent moons

The gods of the empty

(ad infinitum)

It sings

It calls

"come home, this is home"

(vocare ad vacui)

and my gaze drifts skyward--

spaceward, starward--

For I am star stuff

A child of the empty

And I want to go home.

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[ Year ]

So the numbers of the year have changed.

The events, the triumphs, the tragedies--shoved into the annals of history as we slam the door shut on them all.

But what makes a year? We set the rules, but this is just another day in an unbroken march of days.

And yet

Somehow, this abstract transition,

This construct of progress and renewal,

This new year...

Puts a sun on the horizon:

A glimmer,

A glow,

A promise

We see the numbers change

Our thoughts roll over, shaking off the dust

Of a year left to rust--

You'd better be a good year

Better than the last

-- adamantink

[adamantink]

[Ghost]

what do you do

when it all washes over you

when the loudest scream

only echoes in your dreams

what do you say

when they’ve all gone away

shoved you deeper down

as you begged not to drown

but they’ll never see, what they did to me

I’m a ghost in their cellar, a ghost on the ceiling

kept at bay, but never healing

but are they afraid of howling

from deep within my bones

are they only hiding

from the seeds they’ve sown

bridges get burned

but you can’t burn me down

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Gift]

We enter the world

As spirits neatly wrapped

In skin and flesh and bone

A gift

Packaged with care

By hands with best intentions

Presentation perhaps counts

But from a distance alone

Sometimes edges misalign

Or the paper is lacking in design

Corners crinkle, folds may tear

Or it gives the wrong impression

But what lies within matters most

Bows or tape cannot come close

We enter the world

Wearing disguises

Crafted without consultation

A gift

Is what we are

And while our wrapping is no reflection

Of our beautifully perfect imperfection

The gift is greater than what meets the eye

No matter how you are packaged

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Loved and Loaded]

I'm a little toy pistol made of glass

And toys like me aren't made to last

Got one shot in life, gotta aim well

Shooting at stars can land you in hell

But I have a secret that keeps me alive

Break me, shatter me, still I'll survive

For my strength lies in my fatal flaw

I'll love 'til my last breath I draw

(no bullets, just love to shoot through your heart)

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Other Side]

Cold starlight to guide me

Tracing moonpath over mirror sea

Diving past horizon line

Beyond the very world we know

Sink into darkened abyss

Where stars go to drown

Trail of our descent

Littered with fading light

Slipping through the sea

Just the moon and I

So deep it turned to sky

Arriving to the other side

And we see it all

As above becomes below

But on the other side I find

In deepest darkness

There is a way

To rise

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Traces]

For a long time I believed

Only the earth would remember

That my feet had tread her face

At all

Only she would cry as I

Melted into her embrace and

Grew my own flowers to mark

My grave

But I learned to be loved

In the rawest of forms

Dispelling perfection

And doubt

With beautiful flaws

And veins of gold and I

Learned to love myself

Too

Ask yourself sometime what

You want to be remembered for

I once was content to settle

For nothing

(Yearning for leaving

Footprints on the world)

But now I wish to be remembered

As a child who loved so much

They feared death not for

Leaving

But for breaking hearts

They mended

Themselves

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Depart]

Traces of travellers

float on the rails

echoes and whistles

drifting through steam

Only a station

crossroads for ghosts

murmuring softly

places to go

The trains are passing

heading into night

the longest ride

is the ride that is life

Catching the westbound

and saying goodbye

someday all must depart

but until then there is time

Until then there is time

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Seeds]

Pour seeds into my bones.

Let them take root in the marrow.

Their growth will become

The loveliest of sounds

Shattering my solitude.

And when they bloom

My body will be their vase,

Sheltering fragility behind

An aching ribcage.

Through them

I live.

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Home]

Your arms are empty, filled up with nothing And holding nothing is the hardest thing I should know; I had nothing before I met you Distance between us like rolling golden plains With wind whipping at the dry blades of grass Your ghosts hang from the clothesline, and I know I’m coming home.

We’ve got our laundry but that’s alright Together we’ll make this empty house a home Set sail across a sea of troubles and honey We’ll find the sun, we’ll find the sun Shine on down over our upturned faces Molten gold filling in our cracks, and we know We’re home.

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Rejection]

Age old fear, you have come again. Oh rejection, you know me by name.

You are near, as you were then. The dejection is always the same.

No small joy can go unseen Before your steely glare;

As soon as it gives the slightest spark You kill it with despair.

I wish I never suffered so, A blessing now defeat;

But any high becomes a low, No earth beneath my feet.

I hang my head and hurry on, No need to linger more;

The memory may as well be dead. My heart aches as before.

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Wish Well]

I didn't have a well, so I Used the sewer. No pennies no nickels, so I Just used stones. I can wish upon a, starfish, Or something like it, anyway, And throw those stones in-- But I did it all wrong, no Wishes came my way.

I tried my best, but never enough, Nothing I had was ever up to snuff. No coins no magic no incantation, The wishes all stayed in my imagination.

My life's the lyrics to Scarborough Fair; Close to real but never quite there. Impossible to be, but intolerable to not, What was my punchline? Now I've forgot.

Where are the wishes, the wishes I wished? Like chalk on sidewalk, did they Wish-wash away? If I found some change, could I Change my life? Nickel and dime my way to bliss-- Penny for your thoughts, for Your fortune-telling-- Since I can't make anything else of this?

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Forever]

I have loved you for a forever

more properly, an eternity

stretching back to time before

my soul dwelled in this form

ah, but I am young, I know,

too young to make such claims

without sounding like an echo of

a thousand similar verses,

but it is what I believe.

my love will not flicker and fade

as easily as a candle's flame

I do not burn for you, dear,

I breathe for you

sing for you

live for you

and if I die tomorrow, it will not change

even if I cannot do those things again

here, darling, take my heart

that is but a gentle start

to our lives becoming one

and so we have begun

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Carpe Diem]

Poised on a precipice, Staring eternity in its eyes-- But what fear have we, The reckless, The fearless, The peerless, The untried and unbroken?

Go forth! Let your yawp echo On a thousand tongues As you seize the future In your eager hands!

Go forth! Let your heart sing In a thousand tunes Lifted up o'er the valleys Of many untamed lands!

Triumph lives In the youth we never let go-- Onward, forever!

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Metamorphosize]

I long for change in this endless cycle of caterpillar to cocoon to caterpillar again.

All around me are the gossamer wings of those who can fly, and I wonder, "but oh, why not I?"

When will I break these walls and learn how to evolve?

There is potential within me; there is potential inside me, and one day I too will

Metamorphosize

And with my colors all aglow, take off into the sky...

--adamantink

[adamantink]

[Love Is Fire]

What is love?

Love is a fire, darling.

It can keep you warm

On the coldest nights

Shine bright to bring you home

It can sustain you

Licking at the ingredients

Keeping your body full

Oh, but forget not, dear,

Fire goes both ways.

It can scorch and ravage

Sucking life from the air

And eating the naive alive

It can burn and bite you

Leaving nothing but a husk

Made of ashes behind

So be careful, sweetheart,

And stoke the flames carefully.

--adamantink