👻୧‿︵‿︵ ash vs. evil dead sentence starters
these are quotes taken from the starz series ash vs. evil dead. send in one of the prompts below for my muse’s response. please change pronouns/names where you see fit.
First thing I got to do is see a guy about a book. Must be some spell I can say to undo all this.
The other first thing I got to do is some cardio, ’cause my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.
One false move, and I will Second Amendment your brains all over this truck.
We’re not leaving a trail of blood and guts behind us, we’re keeping Michigan moist.
There’s one thing I learned from [name]. Shoot first, ask questions never.
Last time I was here with a girl, I was hopin’ to get laid.
If I’ve learned anything from you, [name], it’s that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Hey, I’m looking for a friend. He’s, uh, tall, dumb, smells like… bread.
You fought this thing before. Maybe you just got to finish what you started.
Yes, I’m upset. Yes, I’m behind the wheel. Yes, I’m drunk. And maybe my license isn’t the fancy kind from the DMV. But at least I’m drunk!
Without good, there is no evil.
With all due respect, your tiny brain is a lot safer without my problems inside it.
Trust me, once you get jacked in the face, it’ll all click. I can’t even get my nut up to rumble unless I’ve had a good shot to the chin.
Once again I saved the world. Now it's time to get the girl.
Most people go through life thinkin’ they’re totally safe. People like us, we know the truth. Life is hard and dangerous, and sometimes you just gotta chop off somebody’s head to survive.
I kill demons, not people. Unless those people are demons, who look like people. And then I kill people, but they’re not really people, they’re demons. You understand?
Never get between a papa bear and his cub.
What’s out there knows that you’re alive, and it wants you to be… un-alive.
Well, good news I found a piece of pie with no blood on it. Anybody want a bite?
To save those two, I would submit to a prostate exam.
This town is only big enough for one asshole, and that asshole is me.
Sometimes what you think you saw, it’s exactly what you saw.
Someone needs to wash your mouth out, kid. And that someone is me.
Now I’m gonna kill you, just like I killed your father! I didn’t really kill your father, that just kinda sounded cool.
I gotta warn you, you’re gonna want to leave your husband for me, and I can’t let that happen. Family values.
I’m not drunk enough to know if this is good-weird or bad-weird. But I’ll get there though.
I’m going to be like a ninja losing his virginity, quick and discreet.
I told you. A good shot to the face always gets the juices flowin’.
Thanks for the opinion, appreciate it. Now you can take it, turn it sideways, shove it right up the old poop chute.
When you get back to Hell, work on your aim.
Do you know what evil is, [name]? It’s power without fear, without guilt, and without pain.
Hey, good looking. You here to break me out or break me in?
I'm gonna get you pregnant later.
I'd know that caboose from anywhere.
Even if this goes perfectly, there's a good chance you'll die.
Well, [name], it's been fun catching up. Sorry I got to kill you.
Don't you get it? Everybody dies here. It's just a rule.
If once you start down that path, forever, it will dominate your destiny.
Did you just Yoda quote me?
Alright, look, we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros.
Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.
Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of… conflicting emotions.
Sweet musical Jesus, that's your friend? Oh, she's filthy and fine!
She haunts my dreams. Just kidding. She does, though.
Do me a favor will ya, thank your mother for me? She passed her genes down to you in all the right places.
Why are you covered in blood?
So look, uh, I'm not a grief counselor, but if it's any consolation, I have had to kill and bury loved ones before. A bunch of times, actually.
Oh sure. I'll just sit here with the police officer we tied up and rethink my recent life choices.
Get ahold of yourself, woman!
I'm gonna say a lot of dumb things.