Salutations to all @adamschwartz7 - Tumblr Blog

Last Night as 33.

Dramatic title? Of course. Preserving my youth by being dramatic! Another interesting year. Onto 34. Almost entering a different age bracket. Yikes. I feel like this is the last year of my youth. 35 just sounds old, good thing I am turning 34. I feel like 30,31,32 are grouped, and 33/34 are grouped. ( My mind unequivocally processing age ranges) 35 is just old. Stay tuned for my 35 post (It won't be a good one.) 6 years from now I will be in another decade! See how my mind just strips away the good? I am just counting milestones to defeat myself. It projects onto a lot of my dynamics with friends. Anyway, 33? Hm, I wouldn't do it again. Traveling wise I went to Austin for a bachelor party, and the Bahamas with my family. I did not do any other trips, but that is ok. Perhaps next year! I've basically been in my role for about 1 year now. Time flies. It just keeps going. I am not sure how or where I fit in the scale of comparing myself to others, but I know for somethings, I would be on the low end of it. It is way too easy to compare yourself to others. I make a fairly reasonable salary, but in NYC it is absolute trash to get the apartment that I have always envisioned without my entire paycheck going towards rent. Doesn't make sense how people save. My apartment is small, but I would like to host and have people over to create memories with a larger apartment that has city views. It is constantly me going to them because they have the space to accommodate me. I do value all my friends. I have accepted the different paths we are currently in. Sometimes I feel I don't have much in common with them, but is that part of adulting? I have been privy towards new experiences, rather than doing the same things over and over. There is no fulfillment out of it. I have been viewing encounters or experiences as valued time. If I don't see value in it, I am not interested. I used to always peak interests towards things and see the good in them, but lately, I thing I have been strapped thin by all the people who's wasted my time over the years. Getting older is weird. Watching your family and loved ones get older is even weirder. It takes a toll when you have a long day at work and then you are in work mode to keep loved ones around you calm, setting aside your emotions. I don't know If this is how my life is supposed to be, or if this will be my full career, or if this is a stepping stone. I do feel stuck a lot, and I would like to eventually have the courage to have clarity of my life to start making moves. That is one of my goals before 35. Thank you, 33.

@)@#

I try not to suede myself with prior posts and try to reflect how I feel presently. Currently, it is 12/30, making this my reflection post of 2022. I can't pinpoint this year. I wanted to write how I currently feel, but unfortunately I scrolled down and it feels exactly the way I felt in prior posts. Of course, there have been some gains, but overall the same. It's disappointing to read prior posts and then reflect on them, realizing there has been zero growth. Is it a waste of time to type out how I feel again? I feel completely removed from my old self and have a very different perspective to life. The youthful perspective is no longer a part of me. I am not sure how I feel about that. I miss fantasizing my future when I was younger:

" What difference will I make in the world? "

" What will I be when I grow older?"

" Who will I marry?"

" What will my children be like? "

" Will I be successful with a loving family?"

" Will I have a lot of life experiences?"

"Will I be proud of the person who I have become?"

I can go in circles on that last question. I'd say overall, I am proud. With minor nuances of course. Adulting has its challenges. Are you officially irrelevant when all of your friends have moved on with their own lives and you feel a bit isolated? Did I isolate myself? Am I in the way and holding myself back? I still have a lot of questions to answer. Also a bit vulnerable to be typing this. 2022 made me realize how easy it is to suppress emotions. Also sparing others emotions for my own emotions to not hurt them. That is not healthy, but I can't bare the thought of hurting loved ones.

I currently have my window opened and hear a group of people in their young to mid twenties en-route to a pregame party at a friend's apartment for the weekend. To be having those nights! I keep thinking this to myself, am I that old? Or am I just not living? I feel like I have no one to be living it with! But there are people! That's why I am confused with why I am feeling this way.

Social media: I've never felt more disconnected with posting on it. I used it as an outlet for posting my photography, and then I discovered Instagram Reels. I have so many reels drafted, and have barely post any. I don't see a point to it anymore. Maybe because it is not me recording my non-existing child experiencing their milestones of trying lemon for the first time like the rest of my current feed? I never realized how much comfort I felt with fitting in, until I no longer do. Applicable with friends, family, etc.

On a lighter note, I did get to travel to Iceland, road trip throughout Florida, Chile and Bolivia. I also tried my best to be more honest with my emotions, embrace uncomfortable conversations. The only thing I can say is to keep trying and maintain your resilience.

Last 5 of 32

Another orbit. 4 minutes to unfold. How time flies. 33. Am I ready to enter my mid thirties? I don’t have a choice. I still feel like I am in my twenties. I have fully embarked into my 30s— no looking back. Another year of experiences, sorta. Another year of work experience, promotion. Another year of traveling, Iceland. Another year of being, myself. The best I could be. I am thankful for the years I have been given, and here’s for the next set of years to come. Overall, I enjoyed 32. Enjoying this last minute as we speak. Good night. Tomorrow I will wake up as 33.

@)@@

I typically am not into resolutions, but with current events, I am hoping this will be conducive for my mental health. In any event, here's to 2022:

Living in the moment.

Navigate through tough conversations.

Initiate tough conversations.

Grow.

Accept.

Believe in you.

Read.

Allow.

Not to take yourself for granted.

Do not take your achievements for granted.

Allow yourself to love.

Allocate time for you.

Invest in yourself.

Improve time management.

Discipline.

Routines.

Diminish comparisons ( will be a tough one)

Stop feeling like an out cast.

Surround yourself with others who are aligned with your values.

Attempt to try.

Loyal.

Feel more ups than downs.

Listen.

Health.

Are these attainable

#2022. PBGTM

Constant Negatives

Why have things been harder than they need to be lately? Why am I so resentful? Why am I so tired? Is this what adult[ing] is? Letting each day pass by and feeling as if it is all one big blur that will eventually lead to multiple years? I do nothing to better myself lately and I work to no end each day. Lately there has been no reward, with a depletion of excitement and things to look forward to. I obtained my masters degree, yet I was not even excited to complete it. I feel undeserving of it, yet I know I worked hard on it. Why do I still feel undeserving of it? I feel as if everyone is passing by me and I just feel stuck not knowing what to do or how to proceed in order to live my own life. Anything I want to do, guilt overpowers because it doesn't compute with the social norms of how we are supposed to spend our free time or live life at my age. I am an anomaly. I may look like I fit in or have my shit together, but in reality my growth has been stunted in many ways. I wish I had the discipline or will power to make changes. Its so easy to be negative and live in a vicious cycle. Its scary actually how easy it is. How lazy I actually am where I never envisioned myself as being lazy. Is this depression? Where you feel inadequate and unworthy of everything you do? Feel disconnect with loved ones? Where it is easier to just isolate yourself because being around others gives you anxiety? Constant comparisons throughout social media makes me feel like I have regretted the way I lived my life. I don't want to put myself in a bubble, but I even feel guilty for working on myself. As if I have signed my soul away to do well at my job. Even in my personal life I have signed my reputation off as the cool, calm, collected one. I dedicate so much to my job and grad school, but it really has eaten away at my mental health. I am constantly on the defense line, I am constantly feeling pressure, I am constantly feeling distracted, I might just be so burnt out. How do people have children on top of all of this? They must not have to deal with this to the same degree, or people are a lot more strong-willed than I am! Too many constant negatives that I need to start focusing on changing.

Here I am

Well, about to officially embark into my 30′s in about 3 weeks from now, and it has been one hell of a year. Again, another year for foundational building into the administration trajectory. I have been uncomfortable a lot at my job, and I have never experienced this type of stress before. I can’t even evaluate my performance because I don’t know how to quantify that data! Is it based off staff satisfaction/motivation? Or maybe how I am as a leader? I can’t really say, but I also don’t think I would give myself the greatest of evaluations; I have noticed my patience is short fused, I am easily stressed, I am anxious around family/friends, I don’t find many things fun anymore, and I am always feeling guilty. How do I change this behavioral pattern? Some Pros: I am living in New York City. Something that I have always wanted to accomplish. Con: Not the best time to be living in NYC due to COVID with mattresses thrown on every NYC block since everyone is fleaing the city. Pro: rent is down so that is a perk (Con: except my rent is still up the wazoo). Pro: I only have 2 semesters left of grad school. Con: I have to pay for it. Pro: COVID is not as bad as it was a few months ago. Con: It has been a shitty summer 2020 and COVID still exists. Pro: Hoping to get to accomplish more things for me. Con: I have to balance grad school and full timr job for 1 more year. Let’s see where 31 brings me.

I did it.

P’20

What a year to be alive. Imagine after writing your first tumblr post back in 2010- [where life was grand, no instagram, snap chat, vine or tiktok, can proceed with your routine of daily tasks and engage with your peers] and you fall asleep waking up 10 years later. 2020. You open your eyes, you are quarantined for over a month in your own house with your family, you had to move the remaining half of your college semester to virtual at home, and you nolonger can engage with friends because you may contract a virus that can be quite detrimental to your health. This is all due to COVID-19 that started in China and made its way across the world affecting the lives of many loved ones. Schools closed, organizations are closed, and the world stops... for this virus to pass. People in disbelief and taking the virus lightly. All supermarkets are out of stock...including toilet paper! Australia has a massive wild fire. Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash, and WW3 was about to happen. 2020 is not off to a great start, and I think everyone has all came to that consensus. Healthcare workers are on the frontline, including myself, and I am also leading a team through the crisis, which has many challenges. You’re a full time therapist, and trying to keep things fair and defend your staff can go unoticed. I have been trying my best maintaining taking 3 classes at school ( full time student is 4 classes), working a full time job, and starting a new position as a supervisor/manager (not really sure) in Manhattan. Risking all of our lives, beeing exposed to patients with the virus is taxing, but again, we are all trying our best. Tonight was passover and you definitely felt how quiet the holiday was when all of your family was behind a computer screen via zoom. All the prayers and singing the prayers fell flat because my generation do not know the words, and it was only my parents singing (with insyncronous, delayed singing in the background from the computer) I am thankful for technology for keeping our family close for the holiday and am thankful that I have my job and am healthy. Always remember the littler things because at the end of the day, you really can have nothing. COVID-19 is a reminder of that and once we conqur this together as a world, we will have to work together to operate normally.

Good Night World. In hopes you get a little break from the humans’ cumulative carbon footprint.

TGE post ‘19

A near decade is approaching. 2020. Wild. I was supposed to be married and have children by now with my vision and plan. Plan? What are those anyway? As I invest in the leadership field, I am doing a lot of self doubt as to why am I putting myself though things. I’m spiraling down in my mental health while stress and anxiety are on the rise. Stress.. anxiety.. I can’t believe I’m letting this control my actions. It’s unfortunate and I feel stuck and in the middle of the tunnel. I don’t want to experience any more change. I’m dreading next semester, I’m dreading work, I’m dreading school, I’m unhappy, I’m frequently on bad moods, And I just feel inadequate. How am I supposed to be a leader if I feel all these things? There- I said it. Am I burnt out? I feel wrong for feeling all these emotions, which makes things even worse. I’m tired of being embarrassed for people when the situation has nothing to do with me. then I get mad at myself when I think negative things that the average people would think about people. I escaped my family tonight to ponder my thoughts. Immediately said hello, and ran upstairs. The anxiety is really taking over. I need to speak to someone to help me reduce my anxieties. I feel like I don’t belong. I feel isolated. I feel inadequate. I hope this helps. Goodnight world, Adam

PS- happy thanksgiving 🍁 🦃

This is it.

The time has come. I turn 30 in 1 hour and 19 minutes and I am ready. I am ready for new beginnings. A new start. New. I feel like things have been a bit mundane and that may very well be the common theme for 29. Mundane. I sacrificed a lot at 29 to try and balance social, work, and sleep. 3 words that will never coincide. I had some perks of 29 such as traveling to Israel and Cyprus as well as having 5 weeks off from school. I am looking forward to getting school over with. After this semester I will be about half way done to earning my masters. There are some goals that I am proud of myself for such as working towards a higher education, as well as “ moving up” the work ladder. I want to say I have really grown this past year but I don't have a determinant to confirm this. Also, I am proud of myself for not running away. Putting myself out there. Trying to be as self-aware as I can be. At 29, I have never experienced so much stress--trying not to disappoint people as well as doing things for you. Also, how I am immersing myself into the leadership field. It is stressful to constantly thing you are not doing enough and recognize (this is where the whole self-aware thing comes into play). I feel like 29 made me realize how everyone really is an adult and doing their own thing where I thought everyone was adulting at 26/27. My best friend had his first born son, my ex girlfriend had a baby, and my other friends are en-route to babyhood--and here I am. Not living life to its maximum capacity, but I am trying to make it work. That is one goal I have failed. I am ending the chapter of my 20s. The decade where life is a shitshow and irresponsible. I tried to be as responsible as I can because I was living at home, trying to save up and have an established career. You meet people who really impact and change your life for the better or worse. Interactions. 29 really showed me how unhappy I can be when I am not sleeping and always staying at work late. I found it pointless to go out and hang with friends because all I wanted to do was get my work done. Ive always been big on friends and never understood as to why people could not maintain friends. In school currently, I have not made any lifelong friends. That shit used to effect me at Stony Brook. Looking back I wish I did not give a shit about my friends as much because in retrospect, I currently don't speak to them. This is the last entry of my twenties and I am only keeping my head up from here. Thank you.

PS I fell asleep.

Daydumpster

Not the finest days for the books. A page where I question my drive and ambition. Nothing around me is currently exciting to me and it really has me questioning a lot of things. Not feeling adequate to be where I am today has got me questioning a lot of things. I just want to do everything all over again at times. I need to be more self disciplined and I just don’t know how. How do I train my mind when it goes astray? I feel like it’s too late and I’m too old for things I do. As if I have wasted so much time. Normal activities that people enjoy do not give me that satisfaction anymore. I feel like since I am not on track with where I am supposed to be in life I view myself as a reject. Which tumbles into a snowball effect of negative views. How can I change this ?

closing the curtains on @)!*

Another chapter added to the book-- 2018 was an interesting year I guess?As a summation, I would describe 2018 as a stepping stone year. Once again, I faced my fears to better myself. I dealt with the frustrations on the road to recovery regarding my tooth, as well as experiencing my first anesthetic surgery for my shoulder. The surgery was January 31st, 2018, and I still am recuperating from the procedure. Almost have full range of motion, but still need some work. I hope I will be able to throw a ball again without having the fear in the back of my head for my shoulder to dislocate. Shoulder instability is something I have been dealing with since I was 16, and 2018 is the year that I have decided that to be proactive. ( 13 years later, but who’s counting) Unfortunately, this was a set back regarding my physique and I was unable to maintain the hard work I put into my body from 2017. I was unable to workout, and formed poor eating habits due to being on soft food diets ( pastas, mashed potatoes, pudding) since my molar tooth recovery was an inconvenience resulting in weight gain. I realized that 170lb is my official hypersthenic weight. It has been very challenging to fall back into proper eating habits, with allocating time to go to the gym. Really takes a toll on your self esteem. In 2018, I have discovered, coffee.. I have gone 29 years without caffeine dependence. I need a fresh start. They say it takes 66 days to form a habit? I just need to form healthy habits. There are some takeaways this year aside from the suffers. I really grew within my career this year, and opened up an entire new MRI facility from start to finish. I sat down with architects and they would ask me for insights on how they can deign the department for the convenience of the technologists. I consulted with project managers, as well as many directors to help facilitate on executing the go-live for the facility. A LOT of hard work and time was dedicated in order for this to occur, but I am trying not to discourage myself regarding incentives. I work in the city every now and then, but I primarily work in Bay Ridge which is definitely a change. I decided to further educate myself and fulfill the goal of going to graduate school. I recently just survived my first semester and that was definitely a bit of an adjustment. I realized juggling a full time job and part time student really gave me perspective on how precious time is. I was the first person to leave my house, and the last person to come home at the end of the day. These past few months have really took a toll on myself and life perceptions. I am trying not to let life take away my innocence in its entirety. Due to the transition semester, I really sacrificed my social life and have felt very distant from my friends. I see how my friends are continuing their journeys, while I am starting my own. I really hope I do not lose my friends along the way and that we manage to maintain a friendship. It is sad that as you get older, you value different things, and you start to question what is important to you? When I was in my early twenties, friendship was so important to me! Reading previous posts, it showed how I put my friends before myself. This semester really showed me that I can no longer do that, and I need to do what is right for me in order to grow. I believe this transition semester really threw me off and I did not know how to cope with it which resulted in poor eating habits. I need to maintain self-care while further educating myself. 2018 was also an interesting year for dating. In the beginning of the year, I tried to put dating to the side since I was in a sling for the majority of the beginning. Mid-April came around and I met someone that shared very similar values to me with many coincidences. Also defied all my skepticisms to dating which is reassuring because I was starting to lose hope. Unfortunately, I am not in the correct time of my life to be investing in a relationship, but it has been a constant throughout the semester and has really shown to be how someone can really compliment you, while help you grow by being there for you. It is special to find a connection like that with someone, and I am glad 2018 was able to give me that experience. You realize that prior relationships weren't as grand as you thought they were at the time. Summer 2018 was definitely memorable, and I hope I get to maintain the momentum for 2019. These next few years will be stepping stone years, and also years of exponential growth. I hope 2019 will bring me and others associated with me acceptance, love, intelligence, wisdom, and prosperity. @)!*, please pass the torch to @)!(. The last year of my twenties.

Tumblr,

It has been quite the journey for me to submit entries throughout the years of my twenties. To see how I have grown throughout each post is truly an honor. I love that I get to look back and relive emotions thanks to you, and your therapeutic ways for granting me the ability to write my emotions. My twenties have been an interesting set of emotions, but I’ll save that for my post of when I make the last one in my twenties few days before my thirtieth birthday,

Prosepro ano y felicidad Tumblr.

-A.

Mind marathon.

Many thoughts have been running though my mind, where it could lead you to shady areas of your brain. I need to learn how to filter my mind, and redirect it elsewhere-maybe here will help. It mind boggles me how I perceive things. I wonder how other people find a significant other no problem, and I’m finding it a struggle. What is it about me per-say that doesn’t have what it takes to find someone else? Are my expectations too high? Am I not good enough? Do I think I’m too good? Although I am twenty-eight, am I not ready for a relationship? I think I am ready, I mean, there are people younger than me who are in one. I didn't develop like others, unfortunately. I feel I missed out on a lot in my twenties regarding romantic aspects compared to others, but there’s not much I could do about the past. The dating-apps definitely have changed the games for the worse. You constantly feel there is something better out there and makes you feel no one is good enough. Also, it doesn’t make anyone seem special, including yourself, in the slightest. It is this big pool of ‘single’ people that are all looking for different things; hook ups, actually dating, friends, just to talk, or just to match good looking people to feel good about themselves. I am definitely guilty for falling under some of these categories, but at the end of the day, I do want to invest in someone worth while. It wouldn't hurt to be able to bring something home for someone just to be able to put a smile on their face. Or to be your other half and they compliment you for the better. I want to be proud of the person that stands next to me. I want to look up to them, and they look up to me. The more I put myself out there, the more I am finding myself disappointed. I don’t want to get discouraged, I’m surprised how hard it is. Also, you’d be surprised how many people are not looking to date on dating apps.

Random thoughts, too lazy to continue for now.

-A

@)!& coming to an end.

The end of @)!&. All I have to say is, what a year of self growth. I am proud of myself in so many ways. From my prior entry, it’s a challenge to control your emotions and be able to associate what is healthy from what’s not. It takes a lot to put yourself out there and try. 2017 was my year for that and I couldn’t be more thankful for it. Lots of changes keep happening with many aspects of my life, just trying to keep myself open minded through it all. Let’s see what @)!* brings.

Adding another year

So the reoccurring theme on this page I’ve noticed is how time is flying. Just adding to this, I’m entering my late twenties in two days. Twenty Eight. Twenty Eight? Is that possible? I still have so many things to cross off my list of things to get accomplished. Aren't your twenties for getting shit done that YOU want to get done for YOU? Twenty seven was definitely one for the books. I loved twenty seven. Was a year where you’re not considered old yet, yet you are somewhat established, but can be irresponsible and binge drink on a Monday night juscuz(that happened last night) Was an age of self development, and self awareness. Definitely the age where I’ve accepted many things for the way they were, and accepted who I am in terms of self growth. I experienced emotions I never thought I could feel again, and have learned to put myself out of my comfort zone. I loved, traveled, partied, became wiser, cried, learned, explored, gymmed, ate healthy, felt the best I have ever felt, developed amazing habits, celebrated weddings, getting accustomed to new relationships. I’m starting to feel out of touch with some things listed, but at least I was able to accomplish these things! I weight 137lb currently from 171 lbs. Perseverance on my self image took a toll after a while. It became a way of life. Running fueled me to push myself. After my vacation to Ireland, Greece, and Israel, set me back a bit. Then my trip to LA messed up my sleeping pattern, but hopefully I get back into the swing of things. You need to push yourself, because no one is going to do it for you. I never thought I would see slight abs! (probably shadows) but still! Dating I’ve grown quite insensitive to. Have not met anyone that really grabbed my interest and mentally stimulates me. One or two perhaps, but not sure if they're on the same page. Also there are a lot who like me more than I like them. I need more time to myself, but a relationship has grown on me to no extent. Would love to invest in someone that is WORTH investing in. Not justcuz. I have a fear of not choosing the right person, but thats probably why I am still single AF. Being single still bothers me, but I need to be patient. Getting a little taste of it this year, was nice. You never know who you meet, or how you meet them. Before I know it, I’ll be 30 and still single at my rate. :P You work very hard on yourself, and can throw it all away VERY easily. I want the same drive I had January- July. Hope I can maintain it. Lot’s of changed are going to happen this upcoming year, and although its life, I’ll look positively into twenty eight. You really are only young once.

Interesting Year.

Slowly fading away from Tumbr, but it is that time of year where it is time to reflect which I have no forgot to do; a bit late though. Another interesting year has gone by, meaning a bunch of insights to relay. For starters, aside from being a healthcare provider, never have I been to the ER for myself; since July 2016, I have been to the ER twice for myself. Used a photography prop-smoke grenade- I unfortunately was unaware of the manufacturer making double sided smoke grenades. Upon detonating the smoke grenade, I was holding the device by the opposing end, resulting in a second degree burn. The burn was in the webs of my fingers and palm of right hand. Silvadene was my best friend for the months of July, August, September. Crazy how the body rejuvenates itself. I had a Michael Jackson glove people would call it. Mid to end of December I fell up the escalator steps dislocating both shoulders. The right shoulder went back in, but the left shoulder remained dislocated. Instead of attending the annual holiday party, I decided to party in the ER where the attending popped my shoulder back in place. Interestingly enough, I gave her a work out since it was a bit challenging for it to go back in place. She was close to me breathing heavily against my ear, we both got hot and sweaty. Interesting encounter, but it helped me get through the pain believe it or not. Aside from being a clumsy fuck, I have to say I’m proud of the persistence I portrayed throughout the year. Originally when purchasing my first DSLR, I was weary about my inconsistent history of picking up hobbies, and then neglecting them due to put laziness. Also picked up on teaching myself the Ukulele. Anytime I had downtime, (which is a lot since I was 26 and single AF) I would play and naturally see myself progress, which was a motivator booster. People would laugh at me and ask why the Ukulele, but it was sitting around my house and deserved some attention! I would say an individuality booster is a good way to describe part of the year. Aside from picking up and sticking to hobbies, I also got over my fear of going to the dentist. I haven't gone since 2010 to get my cavity filled, that has now turned into a root canal ( going for part 4 of the root canal tomorrow) Last one hurt like a bitch, but I’ll get over it. She got real deep :P. Also getting my shoulders checked out and might need surgery, but glad I am taking care of my body! My body is ok regarding blood work as well thankfully. Also got to travel a bit, Puerto Rico, Vegas, and New Orleans. All a great time! Tried Alligator, Frog legs, Crawfish, bunch of other unkosher shit :].. Also this year marks the beginning of wedding season within my circle of friends.

Onto delving into 2016. I still need some self-developing. I definitely have self discipline in some ways, but not when it came to food or gym. Awful year for that. At one point I was at my weight of 171lb that I was Junior year of High School. Still in progress of losing some, currently 157lb (14 pounds down) which doesn't feel any different either. Throughout the year though that was always a struggle. I had constant craving and was lazy AF. Need more self- developing on sex and dating. Everyone is getting engaged, and I’m still single. Did not have much luck this year. I have to say though, at one point I didn't think I had it in me to like someone again. Interesting how people come and go in your life and what impact they had on ya. Glad that I still have it in me to be a human. It has been a while. I’ve taken myself way out of my comfort zone, now I just need to build courage. I guess that goes hand in hand with the self-development. I still feel behind my peers, also people younger than me are surpassing me regarding some chapters in life. Regarding my occupation, I’m a bit torn with how I want to mold my future, but let 2017 unfold that. Until next year.

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Salutations to all