A Day In The Life Of Kev

[adayinthelifeofkev]

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[adayinthelifeofkev]

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[perfectquote]

“You deserve a relationship that enables you to sleep peacefully at night.”

— R.H. Sin

[adayinthelifeofkev]

I hate the feeling of missing you. Each day is supposed to get easier and it’s been 3 goddamn years. Some nights like this drive me up the wall. It doesn’t help that I feel wretched for other reasons too. I miss you so much. And nothing can be done about it.

[adayinthelifeofkev]

Welp here I am again. I didn’t learn my lesson. Now I feel like I used to with this “friend”. Just going to disengage from our friendship.

[adayinthelifeofkev]

Never again. I thought I traded one life for another only to circle back in one dept of my life and end up back with toxic friends again. I guess some people never really change. Discouraging. I never want to feel like this again. I gave too much trust to “friends” who have no manners and took full advantage of what I have to offer both as a friend and with my resources monetarily. I’m done. I really thought one “good” friend was true and sincere only come to find out he’s jealous of me, fake and insecure. Things came out of his mouth last night I thought was a friendship dealbreaker. Being a friend to anyone, especially to me is a privilege. Not to be taken for granted. Toxic. Toxic. Toxic.

[adayinthelifeofkev]

06.09.2021

Okay let’s get real for a sec. I’m pissed. I’m bugged. I’m bothered. And I wish I wasn’t. I wish I didn’t care at all. I wish I never gave it another thought.

My ex hmu on grindr the few weeks I was on it. He asked me some questions and I saw the best intention from him. But I was wrong. Instead of thanking me for answering him honestly, I got the opposite. After he got what he wanted to hear from me he ghosted me. I texted him at least 4 times over a couple weeks and he never responded. I messaged him on FB and he blocked me. Wtf. Seriously. I didn’t do a single thing to him but tell him the truth about the personal questions he was asking me. It really was none of his business and we’d been broken up for two years so why does he get to ask about my personal affairs? Sexually. Being the nice guy I gave him the truth and here I sit..blocked. Frustrated.

Idk what god is trying to teach me with this lesson but I’m too hurt again to know what it is. I wish I could just turn off my feelings for my ex. Or even better, I’d wish it all never happened. The relationship, the love. I’d wish i never felt anything at all.

[adayinthelifeofkev]

06.09.2021

I’m supposed to be working getting my abs back and here I am... eating 2 slices of pizza and some potato chips 🤦🏽‍♂️

[adayinthelifeofkev]

06.09.2021

Okay so May 21 2020 was the last time I posted, wow over a year ago. I’ve definitely noticed that things seem out of balance without my morning meditation and my everyday grateful posts. I will start again. I feel lost.

[yasferatu-deactivated20220102]

This is my favorite gif of all time. Every time I see it my mood instantly improves

[adayinthelifeofkev]

am i vital,

if my heart is idle

am i doomed?

[adayinthelifeofkev]

How do you tell a child, that her uncle (my ex) decided to leave me on his own accord?

This question I’ve casually addressed before. And the time before that. But it keeps getting brought up. Children’s minds are like clay, and he’s imprinted in hers. I have no control over it. And each time, I sit, blankly and purse my lips.

“Uncle Kevin...where is Uncle Michael?”

[adayinthelifeofkev]

I don’t see you out walking children in nature

[adayinthelifeofkev]

Walking into any public place thinking that everyone is staring because they have some sort of problem with you. But really it’s something more than that. It’s more a stranger thing. It’s the presence, that “je ne sais quoi”. Always dressing and carrying yourself impeccably. I’ve always tried to control it and tone it down; to blend in with the everyday mundane citizenry but instead I realize I’m not meant to blend in. There are a few of us meant to stand out. The fitness trainer, his 2 workers and his fitness class, mid-conversation, the front desk clerk in the gym, the patrons on the spin bikes..dead staring.. all until I pass, like a slow motion scene in a blockbuster we’ve all seen before. At the store, at work, all the time. Every time I step outside my door. As if they were holding their breath waiting to see if I speak, if I shift my eyes toward them in repugnant laxity or if I nod approval. I notice you notice me. And that’s power. Not in solipsism but in self-awareness. Finding the silver lining in mine own raison d’etre. #respect #adayinthelifeofkev

[adayinthelifeofkev]

At the end of our meeting with the Vice President of our company we did a Q & A, a woman asked a rather long question as it took extra time to get her point across, the VP then said “I’m going to be a little shorter” to which the woman replied “I’m 5’6!”. ” and everyone laughed.

[adayinthelifeofkev]

[adayinthelifeofkev]

Hush now baby, don’t you stress

I’m gonna fill your Mommy complex 👶 🍼