nothing could have prepared spencer for the look that addie gave him once she realized the truth. and worse than that? the feeling he got in this pit of his stomach as she asked the question they both already knew the answer to. he flinces at the pity in her voice, the way her eyes go wide with worry for him. this was not what he signed up for. his mouth opened but nothing came out. still, the redness of his face and the way his eyebrows scrunched together should have told her everything. he looked past her, where the skydeck attendant was trying to get his attention. ‘ next. you guys are up. ’ spencer tightened his fingers into fists and nodded, eyes flickering back to addie who was still looking at him like she wanted to help him. he’d rather jump from the top of the tower they were in than ever accept help from anyone. “ do i look like a pussy to you? ” he spat, the words coming out sharper than he intended. well… he couldn’t take them back now.
first came concern. the knot in her throat when she felt like something was off with him, that he wasn’t being his sarcastic, teasing self as much as he usually was. a single, halfhearted joke — that had been it, and that wasn’t him. then came realization. the reason he was off — fear. he was scared of heights, and the two of them were about to step into a glass box over a hundred stories high. he’d accepted an invitation to push his fear to the limit, and he was understandably afraid. and apparently, from what adelaide had gathered, in denial until the last moment. she sees him visibly flinch when she makes that stupid, obvious question. painfully obvious. and concern comes rushing back to addie, and so does worry, and empathy, and guilt. too many feelings than she knows how to handle, all at once, and all she can think is oh no, oh no, oh no. her mind goes blank, and all the emotions rush to wrap a hand around her throat or squeeze her stomach, or sting her eyes — overly emotional, addie has to look away from spencer for a moment to keep herself from crying from how mad at herself she is to have put him in such a situation. but then suddenly, like a slap to the face, it’s shock. ‘ what ? ’ her mind is reeling. she doesn’t understand — all the confusion boils down to a single emotion. she’s hurt. it shows in her wide, glossy eyes, now staring directly into his. in the small step she takes, away from spencer. in the fact that rather than spew some optimistic, motivational speech about how fear is human and okay and absolutely reasonable, and how she’s here for him and will be there through it all if he wants to go through with it, addie’s frozen in place. her world has just slowed to a halt, and for one horrible moment of hurt and confusion, she doesn’t know what to do.