I think the best description of Olicity’s relationship is the line “we found ourselves in each other”.
Because Felicity is the one responsible to pushing Oliver to be more than the Hood and crossing off names of a list.
“Has it ever occurred to you that you could do some real good in this city? Beyond just recovering people’s stack portfolios and their saving accounts.”
“Once I signed on, I stopped thinking about all the bodies you dropped. Because I knew that being the Hood meant occasionally being a killer. Maybe there’s another way.”
She was the first one to call him on hero on the show and to his face.
“That kind of makes him a hero, doesn’t it?”
[“How do I look?”] “Like a hero.”
And then later, it was because of Felicity’s suggestion to outhink Slade that he elaborated the plan to take him down without killing. Felicity was the key to his success (be it for inspiring him or be the one who injected the serum on Slade). After he did the unthinkable (put the woman he loved in danger willingly), he finally accepted the hero role.
And while he struggled with his identity during s03, what gave him the final push to embrace the changes he went through was Felicity’s speech:
“You’ve become… someone else. Become something else. This… is different now. Because despite your best efforts, you’ve allowed yourself to feel something. I know you think that’s a weakness, it’s not. It’s your key to beating Ra’s. Don’t fight to die. Fight to live.”
He even recognizes that when he says:
“You told me that I have become someone else, and I would like to… maybe discover a little more about that person. If you come with me.”
Those months they were away, Oliver finally found a way to conciliate the man he once was with the man he became and it was all thanks to Felicity’s help.
Oliver managed to climb out of the pit of despair he lived for eight years thanks to Felicity. He found himself in his love for her. And even after he found his way to healing, she kept being his support when he doubted his capability to separate himself from the darkness the life of a vigilante brings in.
“The only way I know how to fight the darkness is to be the darkness. That’s why I left. And I don’t want to be that type of person anymore.”
“Maybe you just need to be a different kind of person.“
I think the best way to illustrate what I’m saying is how Felicity is ALWAYS involved in the evolution of Oliver’s costume. Felicity being responsible for his equipment and uniform is the materialization of the idea that she is intimately tied up Oliver’s hero journey.
But that doesn’t apply only to Oliver. Felicity’s hero journey is tied up to Oliver too.
When she started she only wanted to be part of team until they found Walter and then she’d be back to her boring life of IT girl she craved. But as she unraveled the plot of the Undertaking, she experienced more and more things, she became draw to vigilantism and decided they needed to change their tactics. I feel sad they never explored the change in Felicity’s mind between 1x14 and 2x01 - cause she went of not wanting to be permanent fixture to being the one to convince Oliver to take his mantle again.
But we get glimpses of how her minds work when she says:
“If I had accepted my life, I would be a cocktail waitress in Vegas like my mother, and I never would have gone to college, and I never would have moved a thousand miles away to work at Queen Consolidated, and I never would have believed some crazy guy in a hood when he told me I could be more than just some IT girl.”
“I miss this. I miss saving the city and helping people. It gives my life purpose.”
And we know Oliver changed her life completely. She became more confident in her abilities, she expanded her abilities, she learned self-defense enough to kick literal ass and shoot guns and she gained a large group of friends that truly cares about her. All the changes her life went through are intimately tied up to Oliver. Those things wouldn’t have happened to her if she hadn’t met him.
Meeting Oliver was the best thing that ever happened to Felicity, because she discovered parts of herself that she never imagined that she had.
Tonight’s episode show that to us. Felicity finally realized how much scary it is the fact she is all tangled up with Oliver because she never let any feelings she had for a man take over her life. Her freak out was very real and very in character considering that a) her abandonment issues because her father left and b) Felicity never seemed open to romantic relationships during the first three seasons like Oliver was. She was always very careful with her heart, keeping people at arm’s length.
So, the fact she was deep in love with Oliver enough to leave everything behind is a legit reason to freak out. Like my friend pointed out, she freaked out because she loved Oliver too much. But bless Donna to tell Felicity that they may lose themselves in each other, but they’ll find themselves in each other too.
Because that’s exactly how their love story played out.
So yeah, “we found ourselves in each other” is the most accurate definition for Olicity.
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