Center for NEET Housing

"The Center for NEET Housing truly changed my life! I can't leave the house without coming back to a mess, my little Jyuushimatsu won't ever stop jumping around, and the economic strain that's been put on me has my life in shambles! 10/10!" -A Satisfied Customer

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @trick-r-treason, who requested and adopted a needy Karamatsu named “Night Pain”!  He’s a sore loser. We hope you take good care of him! 

[adoptaneet]

Do you take good care of your neets? Do they have a healthy environment with you? Are they pure bred? Lemon scented?

If this is that damn health inspector again I swear I will not open this door until hell freezes over

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @the-anime-man, who requested and adopted a shy Jyushimatsu named “Juice Man”!  He pets his arm hair. We hope you take good care of him!

[adoptaneet]

We currently have a clearance sale on child leashes in colors corresponding to (most) NEETs, so act fast! This is the only way we make money, since we lose money on every transaction in adopting out NEETs. We’re begging. 

[adoptaneet]

Many parents or pet owners say their specific child/pet is “one in a million”, and we just want to shoot those rumors down before they start. Your NEET is not one in a million. Your NEET is one in sixty-eight thousand two hundred (1/68,200), so don’t get too cocky. 

[adoptaneet]

The FDA wanted us to release this statement - If you live in the mountains, don’t let your NEETs wander too close to the edge. They don’t handle thin air as well as the rest of us and are a lot more prone to tripping. Ouch!

[adoptaneet]

We’re nipping these rumors in the bud - These NEETs are pedigree, purebred, no ifs-ands-or-buts about it. Anyone considering that we might toss in other elements to save time and money on the breeding process is just kidding themselves. And about those pictures of us stealing rotting fish and taking it back to the NEET production center, they’re photoshopped. Obviously. 

[adoptaneet]

Some NEETs seem to really like battery fluid - we say if they’re having fun, let them! NEETs will be NEETs, after all!

[adoptaneet]

It’s common knowledge that hearing Mozart makes a child grow up smarter, so we like to play some music for the NEETs until they’re picked up. We have a playlist composed of Nightcored Elephant Sounds and Dragonforce for them, so you know they’re in good hands. 

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @sweetstuff6789, who requested and adopted a particularly tired Ichimatsu named “Catten”! It looks as though he has a relatively common mutation in Ichimatsus - He has cat ears and a cat tail! He tends to hide shiny things. We hope you take good care of him!

[adoptaneet]

We’re introducing a new aspect to the forms - now you have to trek through snow and flames to put your form in the inbox. This is just to eliminate the prospective adoptees who don’t love their NEETs enough to suffer for days on end. Good luck! Don’t let the frostbite or lava get you!

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @sailorshadow, who requested and adopted a tired Karamatsu named “Legge”!  He always falls asleep at the worst times. We hope you take good care of him!

[adoptaneet]

Can we adopt NEETs for shipping?

Our contract includes a paragraph as follows, which you agree to when you send your submissions in selecting “I accept the terms of submission”

I confirm that I will not participate in or encourage a romantic or sexual relationship between my NEET and another NEET of the Matsu variety, as this is illegal and would not reflect well on the Center for NEET Housing.

As long as both NEETs are not of the Matsu variety, you can do as you please, but you do agree to a contract to not participate in or encourage relations between Matsu variety NEETs in submitting your forms. 

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @realphoebejudd, who requested and adopted a serious Karamatsu! He’s considerably more sensitive than the average person. We hope you take good care of him!

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @realphoebejudd, who requested and adopted a serious Choromatsu! He thinks he’s kind of smart. We hope you take good care of him!

[adoptaneet]

Apologies to @realphoebejudd, who requested Choromatsu - Genetics are unruly beasts, and it looks like they got the better of us. An error in breeding resulted in an adopted fishy Totoko. She thinks she’s kind of smart. We hope you take good care of her regardless!

[adoptaneet]

Congratulations to @realphoebejudd, who requested and adopted an excited Osomatsu! He’s a sore loser. We hope you take good care of him!