A Chimera without Hope

Born when Marta called for help. Died when Porky's reign came over his best friend's island. A hole missing when he was taken back. There's been something wrong with him since. Independent Emil Castagnier RP Blog. AU, tied with Mother 3. A Sideblog.

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

[adoubledgedsword]

“I heard… and I’m glad you’re out. Otherwise I wouldn’t have met you.” He said, being sincere with each word. Cautiously taking a sip of his tea, he set the cup down and watched her a bit. She seemed so happy.. but there did seem to be a hint of sadness.

Of course, when she said a name.. it rang a bell but.. why? Why was that name so familiar to him? Shaking his head, he sighed. “You’re free to stay here whenever you like, then. Think of it as a sanctuary. Nothing really gets here because we’ve got too much trouble with the Abyss and whatnot…”

It was true. They had too much on their hands for any sort of thing to really happen here.

“…By the way, Seles. Who’s Claus?” It was an innocent question, and it showed in his eyes that he sincerely didn’t know who she was talking about. It was all thanks to Ophirius, anyways. Mis-matched eyes gazed at her, pleading for an answer.

”..Why are you staying with him? …I want you here.. with the family, Seles… you… you’re family to us, remember? …you’re the godmother to our children…”

He was just being concerned and wanted to have Seles around to see the kids grow up… not wasting her life with someone he didn’t know..

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

She stared at him blankely for several moments, her mind slowly coming to a conclusion. 

……He’s forgotten Claus.

That’s what the ‘blanks’ were about.

“…You don’t remember?” She asked, her voice quiet, stunned. Claus and Emil…were best friends weren’t they? Why….? 

“Emil…Claus is my boyfriend. Has been since a little after I met you. You two knew each other before WE did. You were…best friends.”

[adoubledgedsword]

"....." He blinked, trying to understand. "...We were? This Claus and I were friends?" It did sound familiar to him, but... why couldn't he remember? It was like his mind wasn't allowing him to remember, instead just giving him a headache.

"Why don' ya allow me to explain why?"

The voice resounded out of nowhere before a young man, about 17 years old, leaned over and put his hands on Emil's shoulders.

"Y' see, Emil can't remember him. He was workin' himself t' death, worried over th' fact that Claus didn't like him anymore." The man said, giving a casual shrug of the shoulders. "An' I jus'... did him a favour and saved 'im from th' brink of death.. Mind, I had to kinda jus'... rip th' memories from him so he'd stop tryin' t' work himself t' death."

He patted Emil's head before promptly plopping on the couch, putting his feet on the table, careful not to kick any of the tea or get his feet on the snack cakes. Putting his arms behind his head, the young man shrugged.

"S'not like I do things for free, mind. He wanted to be human, I gave him that. At the cost of the memories that were slowly killing him. I just might return 'em when this Claus comes to see him but, other than tha'..."

"His memories of Claus are all mine~"

"Jerk!" Emil shoved tea into the green-haired male's hands, which he gladly accepted and drank. "Seleeeess, Ophirius is a jerk. Don't ever get involved with him."

[adoubledgedsword]

Ophirius, the God of Benevolence, is responsible for many holes in Emil's memory, saving him from an untimely death.

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

[adoubledgedsword]

He listened, watching her make every move. Form every word. Nodding at times and humming at others. Yes, he remembered Porky. She’d been there. It was just them. No one else. Not that anyone came to mind other than them being the only ones.

“…You and me.. both. I’m glad we got out of there. Otherwise… who knows where we would be? ..And I think you were willing to take the risks… no matter what..”

Even though he’d been used as a tool. Nothing more, nothing less… just that, a tool to use to kill and make people Porky’s. The two of them shared a similar experience..

One that Emil shoved away, not wanting to remember the burning pain.

“…I thought I was destined to be unhappy. I mean, Marta.. she..” He looked away, shaking his head. “She ruined life for me by being.. well… so controlling.”

“I’ve been looking away from the past. I have blanks in my memory, Seles. I can’t dwell on things I can’t remember…” He said honestly. “But I do understand where you’re coming from. I’m sorry I was so frustrating and somewhat horrible..”

The boy sighed, flopping down and wincing out of habit. There was a complete blank part in his memory, something that annoyed him to no end. What was that blank part? Why did it irritate him?

“…I’m not the only one suffering. You are too. I can see it. We don’t have to talk about Porky or the time you and I spent under his fat thumb… Tea. Yes. Tea.” He poured them both a cup and slid one over to her. “Help yourself to the cakes… And how about I let you stay here for a while? …I mean, if you’d like. I know that you wander a lot, so think of this as your home, okay?”

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

She frowned, she didn’t have anything to say about Marta. She still hadn’t met Emil’s though from what he’d told her about it, she didn’t really want to. “I suppose…I can’t really relate to that, but then again, brother would have mauled any guy who tried to get close to me within an inch of their life. So I didn’t have much of a chance to have someone so controlling….though….I was under house arrest for ten years..” She smirked wryly at that. Oh, how they’d tried to control her. Them and the illness both, it still didn’t stop her from trying to prove herself to Zelos by fighting him in the collosium. 

Funny…even though she was suffering back then…in hindsight..she really was stronger then she’d expected herself to be.

She then frowned when he mentioned the gaps in his memory. Though she did recal a few times where he’d actually forgotten his friends, she didn’t realize that there were even MORE gaps. “You have blanks? Again? What happened?” 

She was then distracted by the tea, and the offer to stay in the mansion. It gave her pause…she hadn’t really had a home in a while, and the situation in subspace seemed to be…calm for the moment. Though the monsters were still there and making excursions into other worlds.

Then she remembered that she still had somewhere back on the nowhere isles and shook her head. She picked up the teacup and blew on the hot liquid, giving a slight smile, her eyes cast downward.

“I’d take you up on that offer…maybe. I do miss everyone, but I still have a lot of work to do between the dimensions, and I can’t neglect that. Things are calm for the moment, and there’s nothing around HERE to alarm you, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay that way.” She then shrugged, her smile growing slightly as she thought of a certain ginger. “Besides, someone has to be there to nag at Claus to at least try to eat something better then candy when he finally wakes up. He’s in hibernation for now, but he should be waking soonish.” Her smile faultered slightly, he SHOULD be awake soon, but she didn’t know how soon. She didn’t know when he’d wake up, and it’d been….a long while already. She was starting to get worried.

[adoubledgedsword]

“I heard… and I’m glad you’re out. Otherwise I wouldn’t have met you.” He said, being sincere with each word. Cautiously taking a sip of his tea, he set the cup down and watched her a bit. She seemed so happy.. but there did seem to be a hint of sadness.

Of course, when she said a name.. it rang a bell but.. why? Why was that name so familiar to him? Shaking his head, he sighed. “You’re free to stay here whenever you like, then. Think of it as a sanctuary. Nothing really gets here because we’ve got too much trouble with the Abyss and whatnot…”

It was true. They had too much on their hands for any sort of thing to really happen here.

“…By the way, Seles. Who’s Claus?” It was an innocent question, and it showed in his eyes that he sincerely didn’t know who she was talking about. It was all thanks to Ophirius, anyways. Mis-matched eyes gazed at her, pleading for an answer.

”..Why are you staying with him? …I want you here.. with the family, Seles… you… you’re family to us, remember? …you’re the godmother to our children…”

He was just being concerned and wanted to have Seles around to see the kids grow up… not wasting her life with someone he didn’t know..

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

[adoubledgedsword]

In all honesty, Emil had been hoping she’d scream at him and get everything out. Sighing, he followed her inside and closed the door softly, heading to go make her tea. Of course, it took him a while to as he needed to let it sit for a bit. Going to the cupboard, he got a tray and put down some snack cakes on a plate and set the tea on it.

Returning to the area Seles was at, he set it down. “..Look, Seles.” He began, staying where he was. “..You have every right to be angry. I could tell you were.. just by the look in your eyes. And I don’t blame you.”

Looking at the staircase, he frowned. “…From the day we first met, onwards, I’ve been horrible to you… haven’t I? …I don’t understand why you stick around but I’m grateful that you do. You help me see the error of my ways more often than not… and I am thankful….”

“…And you don’t know how much you mean to me.. that you’re there. It.. helps, in a way.”

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

Seles sighed and looked down at the table, her anger slowly draining away as he spoke. “I wouldn’t say you were horrible, just frustrating. You’re incredibly determined to be unhappy, from what it seems, and that upsets me.” She then shrugged. “I…know that what you went through…after….after everything…it was hard…I mean…” She closed her eyes and looked away, fighting another onslaught of tears. 

That whole situation…it still effected her? Even after all this time? She didn’t realize it….

“We were both hurt…by that man.” She murmured, looking at her hands, laced together on her stomach. “You more then me I think…since I willingly went into the situation, though…” She clenched her hands, noticing that they were shaking. “I don’t think I really understood how it would be, just WHAT it WAS I was getting into…”

She then took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked at him. Her eyes hard and determined, full of that inner strength that she’d gained from years of being alone and situations she couldn’t control and having to cope anyway. Strength learned from a man who’s very life was not about who he was, but WHAT he was. All that stubborn pride and determination, reflected in her eyes.

“But that doesn’t mean that you should just give up on everything, or that things are hopeless, or that you don’t matter. It was tough, yes, but you can’t let that stop you from overcoming it. You can be BETTER then what that man did to you, and what frustrates me is that you refuse to look beyond the past.” 

[adoubledgedsword]

He listened, watching her make every move. Form every word. Nodding at times and humming at others. Yes, he remembered Porky. She'd been there. It was just them. No one else. Not that anyone came to mind other than them being the only ones.

"...You and me.. both. I'm glad we got out of there. Otherwise... who knows where we would be? ..And I think you were willing to take the risks... no matter what.."

Even though he'd been used as a tool. Nothing more, nothing less... just that, a tool to use to kill and make people Porky's. The two of them shared a similar experience..

One that Emil shoved away, not wanting to remember the burning pain.

"...I thought I was destined to be unhappy. I mean, Marta.. she.." He looked away, shaking his head. "She ruined life for me by being.. well... so controlling."

"I've been looking away from the past. I have blanks in my memory, Seles. I can't dwell on things I can't remember..." He said honestly. "But I do understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry I was so frustrating and somewhat horrible.."

The boy sighed, flopping down and wincing out of habit. There was a complete blank part in his memory, something that annoyed him to no end. What was that blank part? Why did it irritate him?

"...I'm not the only one suffering. You are too. I can see it. We don't have to talk about Porky or the time you and I spent under his fat thumb... Tea. Yes. Tea." He poured them both a cup and slid one over to her. "Help yourself to the cakes... And how about I let you stay here for a while? ...I mean, if you'd like. I know that you wander a lot, so think of this as your home, okay?"

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

[adoubledgedsword]

He never thought anyone would remember him, to be honest about it. Turning to face Seles, Emil listened.. and listened well. She didn’t know how he really felt. About being replaced over time. About being forgotten in favour of another Emil. He didn’t mind her calling him a jerk. Emil knew, in all honesty, that he deserved it.

But there was still something missing. A fuzzy memory he couldn’t make out. Someone who was always beside Seles. The voice was hidden behind white noise, so he couldn’t make out… just who that person was.

Giving a small sigh, he stepped towards her before shaking his head. “I know I said that to you… but.. I stopped listening to my own advice after it got me in a bad spot.” It was true. He’d been in several bad spots that the benevolent being, Ophirius, fished him out of.

“I… think I ended up somewhere else after you lost my core… I don’t remember.. exactly where but.. it was very quiet. I spent a few days there before going back home to Anastasia and the children. You’d love them, Seles… the children.. they’re adorable now..”

Giving a chuckle at her question, he shook his head and shrugged. “There are plenty of others, Seles… I’ve been forgotten for most of them. No one remembers the struggling Chimera boy.. at least, not those I knew.”

Stepping closer to her, he brushed her hair away from her forehead and placed a kiss there before wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. The blond was silent for most of the moment, but he finally spoke.

”..I did most of Anastasia’s work until all the Dukedoms besides this one fell. I nearly killed myself with overworking.. And you’d see me again. There’s really.. no way I can truly die unless my core got smashed, y’know? Now come on, Seles.. stop crying here and come inside. I’ll even make you some tea and get you some snack cakes… if our pregnant knight didn’t eat them all again.”

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

She frowned, her frustration at the blond only growing as he kept saying detrimental things about himself. He just…made her so mad sometimes. However she didn’t push him away or resist when he held her, instead just riding out her tears of frustration and somewhat relief, letting the sobs sort themselves out as she worked out what she was to say to him.

What COULD she say? She’d already told him what she put her though…and from the looks of it, he’d been put, and put himself, through a lot. What would she gain from continiued yelling at him?

Even though she wanted to. She REALLY wanted to.

“Fine, I’ll come in. But I’ll have you know, I’m very, very angry at you still.” She huffed, before quickly wiping the last traces of her tears and heading into the mansion like he asked her to. 

Her impression of pride and anger deflated somewhat however, when some of his words got through. 

“I’m glad you’re doing fine now though…really, I am. And I’m happy Ana’s doing well too, with the kids…Even if you refuse to believe it.” That was what angered her the most after all…that he didn’t believe what she said when she said she cared. That made her want to yell at him most of all.

[adoubledgedsword]

In all honesty, Emil had been hoping she'd scream at him and get everything out. Sighing, he followed her inside and closed the door softly, heading to go make her tea. Of course, it took him a while to as he needed to let it sit for a bit. Going to the cupboard, he got a tray and put down some snack cakes on a plate and set the tea on it.

Returning to the area Seles was at, he set it down. "..Look, Seles." He began, staying where he was. "..You have every right to be angry. I could tell you were.. just by the look in your eyes. And I don't blame you."

Looking at the staircase, he frowned. "...From the day we first met, onwards, I've been horrible to you... haven't I? ...I don't understand why you stick around but I'm grateful that you do. You help me see the error of my ways more often than not... and I am thankful...."

"...And you don't know how much you mean to me.. that you're there. It.. helps, in a way."

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

[adoubledgedsword]

“…” He heard her whisper and shook his head before shrugging. “I’ve been alive. Just… locked myself away for some time.” There were things that he had hidden from, that Ratta and Anya made him face. Now…

Now he was just here.

”..It’s me. Unless you’re thinking of another Emil.. which I wouldn’t be surprised. Everyone forgot about me.” He waved a hand, turning away from her.

“Don’t just stand there, come in.”

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

She just stood there for a few moments, stunned. Her face set in a frozen expression of shock. 

He was here. Right in front of her. Alive.

”..It’s me. Unless you’re thinking of another Emil.. which I wouldn’t be surprised. Everyone forgot about me.”

And the first thing he has the gall to say is that?!

“You….stupid….jerk…” Her voice was still quiet, still small, but her whole tiny body was trembling.

“You stupid moronic idiotic jerk!” Her voice then rose several octives, her small hands clenching into trembling fists as she took a step towards the blonde. “Do you realize what you’ve put me, put everyone through?! I thought you were dead! I thought I’d never even see you again after I found your core! And you have the gall to say something heartless like that?! Of course I was talking about you! For Martel’s sake Emil, what other Emil do I even know?! You’re the one who was my friend, even if you are a stupid asshole most of the time!” She took another step forward, extending her hands out to the sides, blue eyes shimmering with unshead tears. “Aren’t you the one who told me that, just because I lost my family in that faulty Aselia, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a family with you guys?! Why would you even think that?!” Her voice broke, and faltered, and she relaxed her aggressive stance.

“Wh-why…..why would you hide all this time? After everything…why would you say something so horrible?” He hiccuped, then tried to hide her tears with her hand. “I-I looked for you…but….but you were no where to find….when I lost your core…I thought I’d never…”

[adoubledgedsword]

He never thought anyone would remember him, to be honest about it. Turning to face Seles, Emil listened.. and listened well. She didn't know how he really felt. About being replaced over time. About being forgotten in favour of another Emil. He didn't mind her calling him a jerk. Emil knew, in all honesty, that he deserved it.

But there was still something missing. A fuzzy memory he couldn't make out. Someone who was always beside Seles. The voice was hidden behind white noise, so he couldn't make out... just who that person was.

Giving a small sigh, he stepped towards her before shaking his head. "I know I said that to you... but.. I stopped listening to my own advice after it got me in a bad spot." It was true. He'd been in several bad spots that the benevolent being, Ophirius, fished him out of.

"I... think I ended up somewhere else after you lost my core... I don't remember.. exactly where but.. it was very quiet. I spent a few days there before going back home to Anastasia and the children. You'd love them, Seles... the children.. they're adorable now.."

Giving a chuckle at her question, he shook his head and shrugged. "There are plenty of others, Seles... I've been forgotten for most of them. No one remembers the struggling Chimera boy.. at least, not those I knew."

Stepping closer to her, he brushed her hair away from her forehead and placed a kiss there before wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. The blond was silent for most of the moment, but he finally spoke.

"..I did most of Anastasia's work until all the Dukedoms besides this one fell. I nearly killed myself with overworking.. And you'd see me again. There's really.. no way I can truly die unless my core got smashed, y'know? Now come on, Seles.. stop crying here and come inside. I'll even make you some tea and get you some snack cakes... if our pregnant knight didn't eat them all again."

[adoubledgedsword]

Current list of AU Tales RPers~ (Let's keep this list going! Add your url to the list!)

Tales of Destiny 2

Kyle Dunamis: the-tiny-son-of-a-hero, dynamichero

Tales of Symphonia

Lloyd Irving: replacementofcruxis

Colette Brunel: a-name-never-known

Emil Castagnier: apprehensiveblond, adoubledgedsword

Summon Spirit Ratatosk: dawnofratatosk, shadowofaknight

Tales of Legendia

Jay the Unseen: daggersanderes, apprenticeassassin

Tales of the Abyss

Luke fon Fabre: phos-floga

Asch the Bloody: aschthebravevesperian

Tales of Vesperia

Yuri Lowell: commandant-yuri-lowell

Tales of Graces

Asbel Lhant: royalbait, honoraryknight

Tales of Xillia

Jude Mathis: bishoujojude

Alvin: faithful-mercenary

Ludger Will Kresnik: revivedkresnik

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

Emil gave a half-hearted smile, seeing the pink-haired girl at the manor. “S-Seles.. Hello.. It’s good to see you again.” Something made him think there was someone behind her, so he looked and saw nothing. Blinking, he returned his attention to her.

“…It’s… been some time…”

[seles-wilder-deactivated2014092]

She….she knew this place, and while the first person who HAD greeted her had been the…alternate form she….she hadn’t expected…

It COULDN’T be…..could it? But the last she’d seen him…

“Y….you’re supposed to be dead….” A whisper, as if anything above that would shatter the illusion for what it was. 

Because….when she’d last seen him he was….he was….

“Emil?”

[adoubledgedsword]

"..." He heard her whisper and shook his head before shrugging. "I've been alive. Just... locked myself away for some time." There were things that he had hidden from, that Ratta and Anya made him face. Now...

Now he was just here.

"..It's me. Unless you're thinking of another Emil.. which I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone forgot about me." He waved a hand, turning away from her.

"Don't just stand there, come in."

[adoubledgedsword]

There are seven of you at the Arks Manor

[traveller-of-dimensions]

“Emile~!” Maira cheers before walking up to the elder and gently hugging him, mindful of her bump. “Ah~! It’s so good to see you again~! I’ve missed you.” Even though Maira would visit now and then, she had stopped for a little while because she was paranoid before on how the rift would affect the children within her. But now that she was brave enough to venture out again, at least only to the Arks Manor, she was glad the trip was worth it. Letting her fiend and brother-in-law go, she grins happily.

“So~ How have you been~?”

[adoubledgedsword]

He winced a bit, a reflex from being a human chimera too long. There was no pain, but it still happened. "Missed you too, Maira..." He murmured, hugging her and patting her on the back.

"I've been all right... playing with Anastasia and the kids... how about yourself..?"

[adoubledgedsword]

Seles-Wilder is at the Arks manor

Emil gave a half-hearted smile, seeing the pink-haired girl at the manor. "S-Seles.. Hello.. It's good to see you again." Something made him think there was someone behind her, so he looked and saw nothing. Blinking, he returned his attention to her.

"...It's... been some time..."

[adoubledgedsword]

There are seven of you at the Arks Manor

The blond blinked, looking at the newcomers. "Hello! Welcome to the Arks Manor. My name is Emil Castagnier. Is there anything I can help with?" He gave a chuckle and bowed a bit before standing and gesturing towards the living room.

"Please. Make yourselves at home."