A real⊠relationship? Xaden X F!Reader
Xaden Riorson X Griffin paladin!Reader
Summary: There were enough books showing that fake romances were never entirely fake. So, what would happen when a griffin paladin decided to embark on this charade with the cold and distant duke?
Notes: Okayyy! You voted, so I decided against splitting this one-shot into two parts and kept it as one. It's huge, but I'm really proud of what I wrote.
Enjoy, and comment what you think!
Convincing the griffins to accept the fortress had been my first defeatâand, in a way, my first triumph as well.
They arrived suspicious, irritated by the smell of dragons, by the noise of the cadets, by the mere idea of ââbeing surrounded by walls.
And, of course, there were many shadows there.
Xaden Riorson always seemed to know where I was. Not intentionally, it was as if our paths inevitably crossed, day after day, always at the exact moment.
It was in the map depot that our first real conversation took place.
I was redrawing patrol routes that would accommodate griffins and dragons without one knocking the other out of the sky. Maps open, charcoal scattered, my mind boiling.
And then his voice came from behind me, low and firm: âThat line will take down half your patrol.â
Xaden was there, arms crossed, sharp gaze examining my curves on the paper. He took my charcoal without asking, tracing an alternate route with irritating precision.
âThe wind changes in these valleys,â he explained. âYou need to reposition here.â
But he was right, and the light brush of his shoulder against mine as I leaned over to observe the drawing burned more than I wanted to admit.
He didnât bother to answer me, but looked at me for too long before leaving.
And so began that strange⊠partnership.
Meanwhile, another responsibility fell into my lap: teaching History.
The library was good, but some records were still incomplete, and the newly arrived cadets barely knew the difference between ancient alliances and recent conflicts. The fortress needed more teachers and instructors. And some of them should be from the Griffinsâ side, not Basgiathâs.
And, apparently, I was the chosen one.
On the first day preparing the hall, surrounded by salvaged books, notebooks, and maps, I heard footsteps in the hallway. Footsteps I already recognized.
âSo itâs official,â Xaden said, leaning against the doorframe.
âItâs official.â I confirmed. âTrained to be a flying kick, but becoming a History teacher.â
He surveyed the room, the aligned desks, my chaotic notes.
âThey will resist,â he stated. âNobody likes to admit they donât know.â
âYeah, I didnât either.â
That answer made his eyebrow rise a millimeterâalmost in surprise.
âYouâre going to teach the truth?â
His tone wasnât light. It was a question that carried weight.
âThe recorded truth,â I replied. âAnd also what was left out.â
Xaden finally looked at me, without looking away.
âYouâre up to the task.â
Simple words, but they filled my chest with a kind of pride.
And in that instant, in the silence that remained, I realized two things:
The griffins still didnât trust the fortress. But I⊠was starting to trust someone I definitely shouldnât.
Until a big fight broke out.
Iâd seen fights between cadets before, it was natural, almost a tradition. But nothing came close to what was happening in that courtyard.
Dragon riders facing off against Griffin riders, as if they were ready to rip out throats. And Cat, always inflaming the feelings of others, at the center of it all, fueling every spark.
âTheyâre not trustworthy!â she says, her voice loud enough to echo off the walls. âSooner or later, theyâll choose their side. And when that happens, weâll pay the price!â
My fellow Griffin riders began to agree and shout back. The dragon riders advanced, sharing the same hatred.
And I felt that familiar panic in my stomach: This is going to end in blood.
Xaden Riorson was approaching, probably after his numerous meetings with the council. Arms tense at his sides, shadows subtly moving beneath his feet. He didn't say anything, but his mere presence aroused hatred or fear in half the people there.
And that was the problem. He was the leader of the knights. And I was one of the most respected voices among the Griffin knights.
Everyone thought my influence came easily, as if I'd inherited authority along with the uniform. But the truth was much heavier. I earned my place the day my father died defending an entire village during a Venins attack. He was a legend among us, a leader who inspired even those who disliked him.
When we lost him, I began to carry his name⊠and prove that I was more than just the daughter of a hero. Since then, every flight, every decision, and every word spoken in public was observed, judged. And, somehow, they began to listen to me. Because I didn't ask for respect, I kept alive the legacy of someone who had given everything for us.
If we both hated each otherâand everyone thought we didânothing there would end well.
It was at that moment that I realized something very simple: Someone needed to do something.
I cross the circle before anyone can stop me. I see his gaze narrowing, not in irritation, but in⊠curiosity? Evaluation? It was difficult to read Xaden, but he saw me. That I knew.
He stops halfway, as if he foresaw that I was going in his direction and that nothing would stop me.
Without thinking too much so as not to regret it, I grab his jacket and kiss him.
An immediate silence fills the entire courtyard, as if everyone had held their breath at the same time.
And he⊠doesn't back down. Doesn't freeze. Doesn't move away.
His hand moves up to my waist with a precision that seems rehearsed, strong, and pulls my body against his. His other hand moves up to the base of my neck, guiding the angle of the kiss. He responds as if he's been waiting for this for weeks.
As if he's been waiting for me.
My heart races. Not from fear, but from shock at discovering that his kiss is hot, firm, and totally devastating.
Only when the air runs out and I pull away, just half a centimeter, do I notice the discreet and dangerous smile on his lips.
Not out of mockery or surprise. But out of recognition.
âSo this is how you resolve conflicts?â He murmurs, low enough for only me to hear. The tone is hoarse. Dangerously appreciative.
I swallow, trying not to show that my legs are a little less reliable than seconds ago. Iâm screwed.
âDid it work?â I ask, trying to focus on the fact that I did it for a greater reason.
He looks around. Absolute silence. Even Cat, who was talking, seems to have swallowed her own tongue.
âIt worked.â He says, seeming to suppress a smile.
His hands still hold me, and I stare into his eyes so deeply that I could get lost in them. Cat was the first to recover. Or at least the first to try.
âSorry⊠what?!â She blurts out, her voice rising to an almost hysterical tone. âAre you⊠together?â
Xaden doesnât answer. He simply looks at me, as if expecting me to finish what I had started. And I make the decision, perhaps the dumbest one I've ever considered.
"Yes," I say, clearly and without hesitation. "We are."
For a second, nobody moves. It seems like the whole world is waiting for someone to blink to confirm they heard right.
And then someone in the crowdâa freshman too cocky for his own goodâspeaks out:
"Liar. I've never seen you two together!"
Great. Exactly the kind of line that could destroy everything.
Before I can open my mouth, Xaden speaks. Calm. Lethal. And too convincing.
"That was the intention," he says, without taking his eyes off me. "She preferred to keep things discreet. But, it seemsâŠ" His lips lift in a dangerously intimate half-smile. "That's over now."
A murmur runs through the courtyard. My fellow Griffins' eyes widen. The Dragon Riders exchange confused and suspicious glances. Cat looks like she's about to choke on her own indignation.
âBut⊠but theyâre not trustworthy!â Someone shouts behind me.
âThen itâs strange that Iâve never had problems with any of them,â I reply, without even turning around. âMaybe the problem isnât the dragons. Maybe itâs whoever keeps repeating that speech.â
And I make a point of glancing at Cat as I finish the sentence. She pales. And, for a moment, the entire courtyard seems to rebalance its own dynamic: people who have always followed her now hesitate, disconcerted.
Xaden remains silent, but thereâs something like approval and amusement in his eyes. I take a step back, finally letting go of him.
âI hope this ends todayâs discussion,â I say to the whole group, who stare at me like a true leader. âBecause, honestly, you should be training instead of measuring who hates each other more.â
An awkward silence settles in. No one knows what to say. No one dares attack Xaden while Iâm next to him and vice versa.
I turn around and leave the courtyard before anyone has a chance to catch their breath enough to ask questions.
And, honestly, before I myself crumble from the impact of what I just did. From the intensity of that kiss. From the fact that he⊠responded that way.
The rest of the next few days passed like a whirlwind. In every room I entered, everyone focused their gaze on me. Whispers followed me, and even the recognition of who I was now became implicit to both sides that had been separated and hating each other until then.
It was, at the very least, a tiring day. And to make matters worse, Xaden disappeared for all those days, leaving me to deal with the âlions.â Dodging questions I wouldn't know how to answer, focusing on teaching and extra training. I was even avoiding my friends so they wouldn't find out the truth so easily.
My room is silent when I arrive, and I begin to untangle the various weapons that have been tied up all day. At least until the door slams shut behind me.
I turn around, but Xaden is already opening it and entering. He closes the door with a light movement.
âSo,â he says, leaning his back against the door. âWant to talk about what happened a few days ago?â
I cross my arms, trying to avoid the memory of that kiss burning my skin.
âI did what I needed to do.â I reply.
âYeah.â He tilts his head. âI realized.â
He takes a step closer. His onyx eyes lock onto mine, and my heart decides to take a painful leap.
âYou realize youâre going to have to stand by this now, right?â His tone is low, almost amused. âYou put me in a relationship.â
âAnd you reciprocated the kiss.â I retort firmly.
His mouth pulls into a slow smile. âOnly an idiot wouldnât.â
My stomach drops at the revelation, and he doesn't even seem to realize what he said.
"But," he continues, standing two steps away from me, "I like to understand the strategies I'm involved in. So⊠why me?"
I take a deep breath because it was him or chaos. Because he's the only possible bridge between two groups that hate each other more than they should.
And also because⊠because nobody looks at me the way he does. Not that I've noticed him in the last few months.
"Because it would work," I reply, simply.
He raises an eyebrow. "And it is working."
It's almost a compliment. And that, coming from Xaden, is too dangerous.
"It worked," I shrug. "For a few hours at least."
"It worked because you are who you are. The Griffin Knights listen to you." He stops two steps away from me. "I just didn't understand why you lied about us being together."
"Oh, that." I look at the ceiling, theatrically. âMaybe because someone needed to do something before Cat set everything on fire.â
âCat always set things on fire.â He murmurs, almost wearily. âBut really, she was outdoing herself.â
âYour ex-fiancĂ©e seemed pretty⊠uncomfortable.â
âSheâs nothing to me anymore.â He replies too quickly.
âAnd Violet?â I ask, because if Iâve noticed, everyone else has also noticed her glances in my direction during the days.
Xadenâs gaze hardens a little, but doesnât close.
âViolet is⊠complicated.â He replies, and for the first time I feel something real there. âAnd itâs not a matter for political fighting between units.â
âGreat.â I say. âBecause I donât want to be used against her. Or against you.â
He tilts his head. âAnd you think I want to use you?â
Silence. The kind of silence that has electricity inside, revealing more than we want to say.
âSo letâs get down to business.â "Now everyone thinks we're dating," I say, taking off the boots that had tired my feet all day. "In fact, if the rumors are true, you've spent the days arguing with the board about it."
His eyes widened, but only slightly, as if he wasn't that surprised that I knew about him.
"If we deny it, tomorrow they'll rip each other's heads off. They're already suspicious because we haven't been seen together," I conclude.
"So we keep up the lie?" He asks, his voice low, almost a purr.
"We keep it up," I take a deep breath. "Temporarily." "Just until everything stabilizes."
"Pretending to be with me isn't easy."
"Pretending to be with me isn't easy either." I reply, undoing my hair braid.
He takes an even closer step, seemingly observing everything I've said and my actions. Watching the agile movements in my hair.
I can feel one of the shadows he controls brushing against the ends of my hair, and it gives me goosebumps even against my will.
"So let's make it clear what this agreement involves." He says, as if he's starting to think again. "Public appearances. Closeness."
"Kisses only if necessary." I say, looking directly at his mouth just to provoke him. Feeling bolder than ever.
He laughs. A low, hoarse sound. And I add: "And I, personally, wouldn't want to be known as a cuckold. So if you can not sleep with anyone while we pretend this..."
âThat wonât be a problem.â He states, as if the idea didnât appeal to him either.
âSo⊠are we on the same page?â I ask.
âWe are.â He says, as he walks away toward the door.
â-ââââââââââ
The strange feelingâwarm, electric, dangerousâwas still clinging to me when I left the dorm that morning. The previous night seemed like an insane dream: his gaze, the impulsive âfake boyfriendâ decision, the tense conversation in my roomâŠ
And now I needed to act with him.
I was crossing the courtyard when I felt, before seeing, his presence. Shadows moved as if recognizing my body first, and then Xaden appeared beside me as if he had always been waiting for me.
âGood morning.â He said, his voice low, drawn out, with that calmness that always hid something.
His eyes scanned me quickly, taking in the large sword I carried on my back and the various daggers strapped to my body. And of course, his eyes were on my hair, which was tightly braided.
âGood morning,â I replied, looking away. If I kept looking too long, the memory of the kiss would become even stronger.
He let out a sound that seemed like a laugh through his nose. âYou donât need to act like Iâm going to bite you.â
âDidnât you bite me yesterday?â I automatically retorted, even though the phrase was a metaphor.
He turned his face to me, and the smile he gave didnât help. âNot the way i wanted.â
Before I could regain emotional control of my own body, Xaden touched my hand. He didnât take it. He just touched it.
âCome on,â he said, guiding me toward the makeshift cafeteria.
And itâs only then that I realized what we were doing. All the stares we were getting.
Dragon riders, griffin riders, instructors, people who definitely shouldn't be paying attention to anyone at six in the morningâeveryone turns their head when we walk in together.
Xaden knows this, of course. He knows it and uses it. He walks slowly, confidently, as if he were introducing something. Or someone.
And then he does something that almost paralyzes my legs: he slides his hand to my lower back, low, warm, guiding my body naturally as if we've been used to this for a long time.
"We're being watched," I whisper, stating the obvious.
"That's the idea," he replies, winking at me.
His desk is in the left corner, where his commanders and friends sit. It was no surprise that those sitting there were the ones he trusted most.
And now⊠I'm going to sit there.
As we approach, the conversations die down. Garrick, whom I know from always being by Xaden's side, widens his eyes. Bodhi, whom I've spoken to a few times on patrol, tries to hide a smile. And two girls I don't know exchange quick glances, as if they knew this was going to happen.
Xaden pulls out the chair next to him. Like a perfect gentleman.
"Sit down," he says, and I'm almost surprised by his kindness, not knowing he was raised by a duke.
He pulls out his own, and when he sits down, his leg lightly brushes against mine as if by accident. But I know it isn't.
"Is everything alright?" he asks softly, just to me.
"I think so," I reply honestly.
He smiles without showing his teeth. "I'd say we're off to a great start."
The hall murmurs like a storm about to break, curiosity, gossip, and the surprise of our actions. Exactly what we wanted.
And then, the unexpected: his hand discreetly slides over my leg, under the table.
Nothing explicit. Nothing that would justify me arguing with him. But close enough for me to lose my breath for a second.
âWeâre being watched from all angles,â he explains, as if it were a simple strategic adjustment. âI thought it best to reinforce the narrative.â
âOf course. Strategy.â I try to appear as indifferent as possible.
He leans in slightly, his mouth close to my ear: âYou started this, remember?â
My whole body reacts. But before I can answer, Bodhi interrupts.
âSo⊠the commander decided to show up for breakfast.â He comments, with a smile thatâs half teasing, half curiosity. âIt must be for something important.â
He looks at me as if he already knows the answer. âDonât say itâs because of you.â He adds, his tone light, playful.
I smile, tilting my head in an almost innocent way. âMaybe Iâm quite convincing.â I reply playfully, acting on equal terms.
Bodhi laughs, shaking his head. âAh, I had already noticed that.â
Xaden's hand squeezes my thigh in silent approval. As if he liked my answer.
And I just think that maybe we've created something bigger than we imagined.
ââââââââââ
The worst part of pretending to date Xaden Riorson wasn't facing the suspicious glances from the knights. Nor was it putting up with Cat circling me like a griffin hunting its prey, trying to catch any contradiction between us. And much less the stares from Violet and her friends.
The worst part was that he was almost never there.
In the morning, that gesture of hisâhis warm hand at the base of my spine, guiding me to the table as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and then his touch on my thigh until the end of breakfastâhad created such a profound silence that even the griffins seemed to have stopped breathing.
"Meeting," he said. As if that explained everything. As if he wasn't the busiest rebel leader on the continent.
So I spent the rest of the day listening to annoying whispers. But at least they were less bad than the previous ones. Now they said:
"Did she really manage to tame Riorson?"
"I thought it was a lie."
"He's never looked at anyone like that." âSheâs only doing this for some political reason.â
And the best thing Iâd heard so far:
âItâll last two days. He doesnât even show up for extra combat classes, imagine for a romantic date.â
Apparently, pretending I had an absent boyfriend was proving more difficult than I expected.
And things got worse when I was subjected to an intervention. Yes, an intervention.
When I finally managed to escape to the dormitory, night had already fallen. The dim light from the corridors made everything too quiet. I just wanted to take a shower and forget that, somehow, Iâd become the talk of the entire fortress at once.
As soon as I opened my door, I heard:
âHave you gone mad?!â Mara shouted as soon as I closed the door, her eyes wide. âSeriously, have you really gone mad? Because kissing Xaden Riorson in the middle of the courtyard isnât something anyone in their right mind does.â
Kess just crossed her arms, staring at me as if Iâd committed a war crime.
âHeâs Catâs ex-fiancĂ©. Cat, who hates us. Cat, who would be happy to gouge our eyes out with a spoon. And you kiss the guy in front of her? To end whatever peace we still had?â
I slowly exhale; it was taking too long for that to happen. âYou saw the courtyard. You saw where that was going. Someone needed to do something.â
Mara nudges me hard. âYes! Shout, raise a flag, throw a bucket of cold water on them! Donât pretend youâre dating the duke!â
Kess shakes her head, exasperated. âAnd the worst part? He⊠he let it happen. He reciprocated. You two looked like you were about toââ
She stops, making a vague gesture with her hands. As if she couldnât say the word out loud.
âAnd you two are dating.â Mara reminds me, pointing dramatically.
I sigh. âIt was supposed to defuse the fight. It worked, didnât it?â
The two of them stare at me as if I'd announced I was going to adopt a pet wyvern.
"We just want to make sure you haven't completely lost your mind," Kess sighs.
"That you'll be careful not to actually fall in love," Mara adds.
I feel a heat rising up my neck. I don't know if it's from shame, irritation, or because, yes, maybe in some hidden corner of my mind I was starting to think about what could happen at the end of all this.
"I know what I'm doing," I say too firmly.
The two exchange a look that clearly says: no, she doesn't know.
"Is he handsome? Yes. Dangerous? Obviously. But he still has an ex-fiancée who idolizes him and an ex-girlfriend who's practically a living legend! Are you absolutely sure you want to get involved in that hornet's nest?" Kess says, exasperated.
"Okay, fine," I take a deep breath. "Thank you for your concern, but I really don't need an intervention."
Kess sighs again and Mara hugs me quickly, as if it were a farewell before a catastrophe.
âEverything will be alright, itâs only for a few weeks.â I try to reassure them.
âOkay.â Kess says, grabbing her coat to leave. âBut if he breaks your heart, Iâll personally threaten those damn shadows he uses as guard dogs.â
âYes, me too.â Mara agrees with a knowing smile.
My laughter echoed through the room, and the two joined in, laughing at the absurdity of what I had done.
I open the door for them to leave. And I almost choke on my own breath.
Leaning casually against the doorframe, as if watching a show. Arms crossed. A smirk and a dark look.
Kess lets out an âoh shit.â
I just close my eyes for a second, begging all the gods to take me away immediately. But no one takes me, and Xaden tilts his head.
âSo⊠a waspsâ nest, is it?â he asks, his voice low and dangerously satisfied.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. He raises an eyebrow slowly.
âAnd, just to confirm, who exactly is going to threaten my shadows if I âbreak your heartâ?â
The girls practically run away, without bothering to answer, much less look in my direction. They simply walk past him.
And then silence. I stare at him, mortified with embarrassment.
"How long have you been there?"
He gives a small smile. "Long enough."
And then he approaches, two slow steps, absolutely self-assured.
"If it's any consolation..." He murmurs, getting close enough that I have to hold my breath. "I thought the part about me being dangerous was quite accurate."
I narrow my eyes. "You were having fun."
He doesn't deny it. Doesn't even try. "Quite a lot."
I roll my eyes while crossing my arms. "What do you want, anyway?"
"I came to see my girlfriend." He answers as if it were obvious, amusement dominating his voice.
He walks past me without asking permission, entering my room.
When I close the door, he turns to me.
"I'm sleeping here tonight."
My brain fails. âYou⊠are going to what?â
He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused by my reaction.
âSleep, here. In your room.â
âXaden, Iâ I didnât think that⊠I mean⊠thereâs only one bedââ
He blinks slowly, and the corner of his mouth twitches.
âCalm down.â His voice is low, laden with satisfied sarcasm. âIâm not going to share your bed.â
Before I can answer, he crosses the room in three long strides, opens the closet as if he already knows where everything is, and pulls out a folded comforter.
He throws the comforter on the floor next to the far wall, straightens it as if he were completely at home, and grabs an extra pillow from the top shelf.
âI sleep on the floor,â he declares simply, already crouching down.
The question slips out before I can stop it.
He stares at me for a second. Those dark, intense eyes, full of something I still can't name.
"Because if they're doubting our relationship," he says, lying down on the makeshift mattress, "we need to escalate things."
He rests the back of his neck in his hands. "And I don't need to give anyone the impression that you're a liar."
My throat tightens without warning.
He closes his eyes, as if he's already ready to sleep, but his voice comes low, almost too calm:
"Turn off the light. Tomorrow we have a long day."
And I stand there, staring at the fallen duke sleeping on the floor of my room⊠because he wants to protect me from comments.
And that's probably the most dangerous part of all.
I wake up with a strange feeling of not being alone. And it takes a few seconds to remember.
Xaden Riorson slept on the floor of my room.
I turn my head slowly. And there he is, arm folded under his head, the duvet pulled up to his chest, breathing deeply, completely relaxed for someone who slept on the floor. No shadows moving, no raised eyebrows, no general's posture.
And the impact of this on me is absurd.
I try to get up slowly, without making a sound. Taking light steps to the desk where I keep my uniform, which is now all black.
While I was braiding my hair, his voiceâhoarse with sleepâpierced the silence:
âYou tread very lightly for someone with such a heavy conscience.â
I almost fell backward. But I turned towards him.
âI donât have a guilty conscience,â I replied softly, letting my hair brush against my back. âI just tried not to wake you.â
He sat up slowly, running a hand through his disheveled hair, his eyes still half-closed.
âI wake up easily,â he said, and his gaze rose to meâslow, assessing. âEveryone will assume exactly what you want them to assume.â
âThat you slept in my room.â
He smiles, a small, dangerous smile. âSlept, I really did sleep.â
My heart skips a beat. Iâm an idiot.
Before I can decide how to respond, he stands up. His black shirt falls in an irritatingly perfect way on his body, and I make a conscious effort not to stare too much.
âIâll wash my face while you get changed.â He says simply, turning toward the small bathroom in my room. The one I had to rush through last night to avoid thinking too much about who was sleeping in my room.
âShould we go out?â He asks, a few minutes later, already heading toward the door. âIf we do it during the times the cadets pass by, there wonât be a single doubt.â
In other words: letâs put on a show.
I swallow my nervousness, take a deep breath, and nod in agreement.
When he opens the door, the hallway is already full.
Instantly, the conversations die down. Eyes are turned, not-so-subtle nudges are exchanged. A curious silence spreads as I walk out first, followed closely by Xaden Riorson.
He doesn't make eye contact with anyone. He just places his hand on my backâfirm, warm, possessive enough to ignite half the continent's gossipâand guides the way as if this were his routine.
And perhaps it needs to become so.
I keep my chin up, but inside my stomach is a mess.
Bodhi walks past at the end of the hallway, notices the scene, and almost freezes in place. A huge smile spreads across his face.
I feel my face heating up to my ears without him having to say anything.
Bodhi whistles softly, clearly amused by Xaden's serious gaze.
"I'll go to the cafeteria with you," he says, as if he were just narrating a decision already made.
On the way, he doesn't talk much. But his presence weighs heavily, warms, occupies every inch beside me. And I know everyone is watching.
When we reach the hall door, he stops, and so do I. And I take a deep breath as I turn towards him.
Why is everything with him so intense?
"I have a meeting with the council," he murmurs, his voice low and deep. He glances quickly towards the tables. "Sit with your friends. They look mortified."
I nod, trying to appear absolutely normal despite his touch still burning my waist.
He leans in slightly, just enough for only me to notice the approach. And he squeezes my waist again, firmer this time, as if it were a farewell.
And without waiting for an answer, he walks away, heading in the opposite direction accompanied by Garrick. Imposing. Untouchable. But everyone saw the touch. Everyone saw that he left my room.
And when I turn towards my friends, their faces, in complete shock, say that we are convincing.
My heart leaps. Because everything was starting to not seem so theatrical after all.
From then on, the routine became almost a ritual:
Quick touches. Lingering glances. Calculated proximity. And brief encounters that seemed to ignite the entire breath.
And when he left, which he always did, it left me with the feeling that something was growing between us.
Something dangerous. Something that no acting in the world could explain.
I had spent the entire morning trying to put together the next lesson, but without the right book it was like teaching blindfolded. The explanation of the North-South Treaty in the available volumes was a jumble of loose dates and blurry maps.
So I took a deep breath and went to the Duke's office. Xaden's office.
They had placed his office near the history room, which meant crossing half the fortress trying to pretend I wasn't nervous about asking for a book.
He looked up when I knocked on the door.
âDo you need something?â His voice was firm, professional, as if we didn't have to put on our act in that environment. But there was always something underneath with him.
âI need material,â I replied, holding the notebook against my chest. âThe treaty The Roots of the Alliances, the old edition. Without it, my class won't understand anything about the beginning of the Northern alliances.â
Xaden was silent for a moment, analyzing my words as if it were a political negotiation. Or as if he were analyzing me.
âDo you want the old edition?â
âYes. The others are too confusing.â
He put down his pen and simply said, âIâll see what I can do.â
And that was it. No promises. No guarantees. He was the dukeâbusy, responsible for half the world.
So, I didnât even expect him to remember the subject.
In the afternoon classes, I resumed my lesson with what I had. The cadets paid attention and laughed at the little historical jokes I made, all while I tried to salvage the content with improvised explanations.
Until, in the middle of the explanation, the door opened with a soft click.
His posture filled the space as if it were a second door opening. He walked straight to my desk, without looking at anyone else. And placed a book on top of the papers.
The Roots of the Alliances. The old edition. Rare. Intact.
âWhat you asked for.â His voice was low, but his eyes seemed warm as he approached me.
His hand lightly touched my waist, just enough to send shivers down my spine. âI didnât know you were so funny in class,â he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.
âYou would if you attended one, Duke,â I replied, even though my heart was doing something stupid inside my chest. âThank you for the book.â
I tried to make everything seem less tense than I felt, but the class had seen everything.
âIf you need more material, ask.â
He turned to leave, and it was only in that movement that I saw Violet and Cat. Violet was stiff. Cat was biting her cheek from the inside.
And I realized, uncomfortably, that that delivery had meant something I was still trying to understand. More than just a performance.
When the door closed behind him, the air seemed to slowly return. I lowered my gaze to the book, feeling my cheeks too hot.
âLetâs continue the lesson.â I declared, drawing everyone's attention.
I wasn't spying. At least, not on purpose.
I just turned down the wrong hallwayâsomething anyone would do in a building that swaps hallways when they're in a bad moodâand came face to face with familiar voices echoing in the partially open strategy room.
The first was Violet's. Tense. Hurt. The second⊠was his.
âSo it's true?â Violet asked. The tone wasn't jealous, but that of someone who had been hit by something she didn't expect. âYou and her?â
My heart plummeted in my stomach.
I leaned against the wall, holding my breath, unsure whether to run or wait for the right moment to make a minimally dignified escape.
âIt's more complicated than that,â Xaden replied, his voice low and restrained, sounding brutally honest.
âComplicated how?â Violet retorted. âI know when youâre hiding something, as always. No one had ever seen you two talking for more than ten minutes before. And now youâve been dating for what? Two weeks?â
âIâm not hiding anything.â He corrected, and this time there was something hard, tired. âIâm⊠trying.â
Another pause. I could almost hear the air vibrating between them.
âTrying what, Xaden?â Violet insisted.
He let out a short sigh, one that seemed to scratch from the inside.
âIâm making a choice. My own.â He finally said.
Is he talking about me? Or was it just another enigmatic phrase typical of Xaden Riorson?
Violet remained silent for a few seconds that were far too long. When she answered, it wasnât with angerâit was with a quiet sadness that almost made me regret my plan.
âJust⊠be careful, Xaden. You never do anything halfway. And if this isnât real⊠someoneâs going to get hurt, as usually happens when it comes to trusting you.â
My chest tightened even more.
Footsteps began to move toward the door.
And I quickly backed away, probably looking like a criminal, and turned into another hallway before anyone saw me.
His words were etched into my mind, burning like a freshly done tattoo:
âIâm making a choice. My own.â
And the question I feared most echoed within me:
Did he say that because of our agreement� Or because of me?
My head was lost in thought, but I noticed when a pair of hands gripped my shoulders, making me stop walking.
âHey, you look like you just fell off your griffin.â Kess says, her eyes scanning my face.
âI donât think I can handle this situation.â I whisper as she pulls me behind a pillar.
âWhat happened?â she asks simply.
And I almost crumble as I recount the conversation I overheard. âHow can I even think about competing with a love this deep?â
Kessâs eyes widen at my question. And I realize Iâve blurted out the wrong question.
âI thought it was a fake relationship, with fake feelings and touches,â she whispers, her mind seeming to process my confession.
âAnd thatâs it,â I try to fix as I shrink back. âBut the way he touches me⊠itâs like Iâve gotten used to it. Like weâve been doing this forever.â
âGirl, youâre screwed.â
Kess immediately pulled me even further away from the strategy room, almost marching down the hallway like I was a disoriented recruit on my first day.
âYou canât just walk around with that face,â she murmurs, glancing around to make sure no one is listening. âTheyâll think you fell off a mountain or that Xaden broke up with you. Which, technically, doesnât even make sense, because you two havenât even really started.â
âExactly for that reason,â I whisper, holding my breath. âI shouldnât have heard anything. I shouldnât have felt anything. This is⊠this is completely ridiculous.â
âYeah,â Kess agrees mercilessly. âBut ridiculous feelings are your specialty.â
âThank you for your trust.â
She smiles slightly, but her gaze is gentle as she replies:
âHey, youâre not in love. Youâre just⊠confused. And vulnerable. And involved in an emotionally dangerous arrangement with the most complicated man on this continent. Normal.â
âFor you? Absolutely.â
I let out a breathless sigh.
And thatâs it. Thatâs the part no one explains: itâs not the kiss in the courtyard, nor the touches, nor the acting. This is what happens when I'm alone with my own thoughts.
Kess puts her arm around my shoulder and guides me, giving me no choice:
âYou're going to train with me today. And you're going to breathe. And you're going to pretend you're not on the verge of a romantic meltdown.â
âIt's not romantic,â I protest. âIt's⊠strategy.â
âSure,â she replies with soft irony. âAnd I only drank one glass of wine at that palace party to celebrate Cat's birthday.â
â-------------------------------
The day passes as if someone had ripped my skin off and forced me to walk around unprotected.
Every glance, every whisper, every muffled giggle⊠everything feels more personal than it should.
And the worst part is when I see Violet crossing the hallway. For a second, I think about turning away, but itâs too late.
Her eyes pass over mine, just for a fraction of a second. Thereâs no anger. No jealousy. Just that contained coldness of someone trying not to feel anything.
And that hurts even more.
Kess notices and immediately positions herself beside me, as if ready to push away anyone who approached.
âBreathe,â she murmurs. âShe doesnât hate you. Sheâs just dealing with it.â
âI know,â I reply, clutching the book to my chest. âBut I went too far into this. Nobody explained that faking a relationship includedââ
âEmotional consequences?â
âWelcome to fake love. Itâs more real than it seems.â
I let out a weak, humorless laugh. Throughout the afternoon, I keep my head down.
I avoid any place where Xaden might appearânot because I don't want to see him, but because I don't know what to do if he does.
"Come on, a training session with our squad will help distract you," Kess says.
And just like that, I find myself in the courtyard where all the students and graduates train.
"Finally you showed up for training," Mara says, drawing the attention of most of those present.
"I'm motivated to train," I say, stretching my shoulders.
Kess twirls her short sword between her fingers, the confident smile I know so well appearing on her face.
"Ready?" she teases, as she always has since we met.
"Always," I reply, pulling the sword from my back. The sound of it being drawn cuts through the air, drawing the attention of everyone around.
Attention I like to receive when I'm fighting. The courtyard is full. It's always been there, ever since the tensions startedâtoo many people looking to prove their strength or relieve anger.
My sword is almost my size. Long, curved, sharp enough to cut through the air. The instructors say it could be a disadvantage, but I've never been left behind in any fight.
The blade cuts through the air like lightning, and Kess blocks at the last instant, her arms trembling from the impact. She tries to retreat, but I don't let her. I advance again, twist my wrist, and slide the sword to the side, forcing her to give ground.
"That was low." She growls, trying to regain her balance.
"I told you I was motivated." I reply, smiling.
Everything around me disappears when I enter this state. It's just focus. Instinct. Every strike she attempts, I anticipate. Every advance I make, she responds with speed.
Until, finally, she manages to break my rhythm. A side strike that's too fast.
I duck in time, feel her blade brush against my shoulder, and before she can complete the movement, I twist my body, using the hilt of my sword to strike her forearm and make her let out a short exclamation of pain.
A murmur runs through the courtyard.
âOkay, now Iâm pissed off,â Kess says, attacking with renewed force.
She comes like a storm, and I follow. Our blows collide so quickly that the air seems to vibrate. We are sweaty, panting, our feet digging marks in the ground.
And, in the end, as always, the inevitable moment arrives.
I block her last blow, slide my blade underneath, and place the tip right in the middle of her chest.
Kess raises her hands, surrendered, smiling broadly.
âOkay,â she says, breathless. âYou won⊠again.â
I lower my sword slowly, trying to control my breathing. And only then do I realize that the crowd of cadets is larger than before. Much larger.
And in the center of the crowd, standing as if he had always belonged there, is him.
Arms crossed, indecipherable expression, eyes fixed on me as if it were impossible to look at anything else.
Kess follows my gaze and lets out a low whistle. âWell⊠now I understand why youâre really motivated.â
I ignore it. Or try to ignore it.
Xaden says nothing. He just observes me, as if the fight had been an answer to a question he never asked aloud.
And the worst part? I like that look. Much more than I should.
âYou could have warned us when you started a show like this,â Bodhi comments beside him. âWe would have brought food.â
Kess wipes the sweat from his brow and nudges me with his elbow, clearly amused by my expression.
But only Xaden matters there.
He steps away from his friend and walks over to where I am. His eyes scan my weapon⊠then my face⊠slowly, as if analyzing every detail.
âI didnât know you fought like this,â he says, his voice low enough for only me to hear. âLooks like I have a lot more to find out.â
My heart stumbles. âMaybe we should know more than just rumors about each other.â
Xaden tilted his head, as if considering my words. Or⊠as if reading me. Again.
âThen letâs find out,â he says, softly, firmly, and dangerously. âOne thing at a time.â
I should breathe. But he gets close enough that I forget how.
Kess, realizing my brain just shut down, says goodbye and disappears with the other cadets, leaving me alone with the man everyone believes I dominate⊠when in reality heâs the one who leaves me in internal ruins.
He takes a step to the side, enough for us to walk together, but too close for it to seem like just strategy. âWhy such a long blade?â He asks, his eyes on the sword Iâm beginning to tuck back into my back. âMost Griffin Knights prefer short reach.â
âBecause Iâm not most.â I reply, trying to sound indifferent. âI feel the weight better. Control. It responds to my movement as if it were part of my arm.â
Xaden is quiet for a long second, and thenâŠ
âThat makes sense.â His voice is low. âYou like balance. Precision. Nothing about you is careless.â
My heart leaps so hard I almost stumble.
âAnd you?â I ask. âDo you have a reason for using two blades, besides charm?â
He laughs. A short, rare laugh, so unexpected that it completely disarms me.
âTwo weapons, two rhythms.â He replies. âAnd a lifetime needing to control more than one front at the same time.â
Something tightens inside me. Not pity, but understanding.
âYou talk like youâre used to carrying the weight of the world,â I say.
His eyes meet mine, and linger there.
âI used to,â he says. âNow⊠itâs not just mine anymore.â
The air temperature changes. Or maybe itâs just my body reacting to it.
We walk for a few moments in silence, but itâs the kind of silence that reveals more than it hides.
âSoâŠâ I say, trying to break the tension before it consumes me. âI really like tea, andââ
âYou talk in your sleep,â he interrupts, with a small, dangerous, almost proud smile.
âYou talk,â he repeats, without a hint of shame. âAnd before you ask, yes, I heard. No, Iâm not going to tell you what you said.â
âThat was cute,â he teases, clearly amused.
âWant to know something?â I ask, narrowing my eyes.
He blinks, as if it were impossible for anyone to dare say that to him. âI snore?â
âYes, I barely slept.â I exaggerate, just to see his reaction.
And he reacts. His hand moves up to my waist, slow, firm, as if reminding me that even amidst teasing, he can still do whatever he wants.
And after that moment, it was as if we were in a silent battle over who would discover more things about the other.
And I would be lying if I didn't say that this was making me happier than usual.
The next day, as we're leaving the cafeteria, the wind changes direction and messes up my loose hair. Xaden walks beside me, without touching meâuntil a strand falls across my face. He reaches out and tucks it behind my ear.
There are no ulterior motives. Just care. Just⊠attention.
âDo you fight better with it tied up?â He asks, genuinely curious.
âI fight well anyway.â
The corner of his mouth threatens a slight curve, as if he didnât expect a different question. âI noticed.â
Later, at dinner, he arrives late. He always does. Iâm almost finished when he sits down next to me.
âYou separate the food by order of preference.â He observes, studying my plate.
I stop, surprised. âItâs not by order of preference. Itâs by texture.â
He raises an eyebrow. âThatâs worse than I imagined.â
I give him a light tap on the shoulder. âAnd you? Why do you always eat the bitter part first?â
âTo finish quickly.â He replies as if it were obvious.
âYou were the one who kissed me in the middle of a fight. Drama is relative.â
A small laugh escapes him, one Iâve seen few times. And it warms me more than I want to admit.
It's been a few days since my fake relationship with Xaden has become even more intense than before. I try to control myself, thinking that it's all fake. A fake relationship with overly realistic acting.
The courtyard was packed during the break between classes, everyone scattered in small groups. I just wanted to cross the space quickly, teach my classes, get on with my day⊠but I stopped halfway when I saw Xaden.
He was leaning against the low wall, shoulders relaxed, expression attentive as he spoke to another cadet. A blonde second-year student, smiling, leaning too far forward. One of those who laugh at everything he says, even if he's not telling a joke.
I felt the discomfort without bothering to really understand what it was. A warm, almost irritating tightness, right below my ribs.
Jealousy. Ridiculous. Useless. Inevitable.
The cadet touched his forearm while she spokeâtouched himâand that was enough to make something inside me freeze.
It wasn't supposed to mean anything. But it meant something.
And before I knew it, I was already walking over there.
âXaden,â I called, in a neutral tone⊠but firm enough to interrupt the conversation.
He looked up at me, and a restrained smile appeared on his face, his gaze shifting to one he only used with meâattentive, warm in a way he would never admit.
The cadet next to him pursed her lips, annoyed, but trying to maintain her composure.
I approached slowly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and placed my hand on his chest, just a light touch, but intentional, my fingers brushing against the fabric of his shirt, my nail lightly scraping.
âYes, I do,â I said, looking directly at him. âYou promised youâd help me with that research for my next class. Remember?â
A blatant lie. He blinked once, just to make sure he understood.
The smile he held when he saw me was evident on his face, a dangerous recognition.
The cadet took a deep breath, clearly irritated. And I couldn't blame her, until I realized we were staring at each other as if that was all that mattered. As if the world could catch fire.
âWell⊠I'm going now.â She said, walking away.
I replied with a polite smile, without really bothering to look away from Xaden. But the touch on his chest continued for another second, while I felt his strong, agitated heart. One more second that he noticed very well.
When we were alone, Xaden lowered his eyes to where my hand still was.
âResearch, hm?â He murmured.
He slowly removed his hand from his chest, as if I had retrieved a secret. Or at least I tried, since he held my wrist, leaving my hand exactly where I had placed it.
He took a step closer, his voice low, almost scratching the air.
âNext time you want to do thatâŠâ He said, bringing his face closer to mine. ââŠyou donât need to make excuses.â
âAnd next time you get all flirty with some younger cadetâŠâ I said, moving even closer to him. âRemember you have a girlfriend, Duke Riorson.â
âAs if I could forget you for more than three seconds.â He replied, his eyes lost on my mouth. And I felt his heart beating even faster, even with the light touch. âBack to formal titles?â
âOnly when you deserve it.â I replied, losing myself even more in the moment.
His free arm slid around my waist, and I took a deep breath, feeling the moment through my bones.
âYou werenât kidding when you said it wasnât easy.â
âNeither were youâ.â I started to reply, but was interrupted when he finally joined our lips.
It was our second kiss, the first since I dragged him into this whole charade. But, gods, it didn't feel fake at all. It wasn't even a kiss out of necessity as we had agreed, it was simply because we wanted to.
I felt his touch on my waist burning, and I was sure he felt the same with my hand still on his chest, holding his shirt as if he could run away at any moment.
We had already forgotten the rest of the world when some cadet passed by and let out a low whistle.
âLet it be clear that I wasn't being cheeky, she was asking something about the dragons,â he said, as soon as he separated his lips from mine.
âThat sounds cheeky to me.â
He left a light bite on my lip before saying, âIf you want to punish me, I won't complain.â
âYou're the duke,â I replied, seeing the mischievous smile appear on his face.
âThen maybe I'll have to punish you.â He answers, and I can clearly discern the desire in his voice.
âWell, I didnât want to hear that,â Kess says, right beside us. Since when is Kess right beside us?
I move away from Xaden as if we were children being picked up by their mother. Well, I move away as far as I can (that is, one step) until he grabs my waist. Possessive.
âI didnât mean to interrupt, but someone needed to remind you that you have a class to teach.â She says, and I straighten my posture immediately, as if the weight of responsibilities has returned to my shoulders.
âDamn it.â I mutter, as I walk towards the stairs with Kess practically running away and trying to ignore what she heard.
âYou use me for your pleasure and then just leave like that?â Xadenâs voice hits me.
I turn back, noticing the amused smile on his face.
âSee you later, Riorson.â I wave, a provocative smile on my face.
-------------------------------
A few days later weâre teasing each other along with the others. Something thatâs become routine.
âTo this day, I donât know what your power is, you know?â Bodhi asks, putting his arms around my shoulders.
The action immediately attracts the gaze of Xaden, who is training with Garrick. He pauses to approach.
âBelieve me, itâs better not to know,â Kess says, winking at me.
âWell, then itâs a serious power,â Imogen acknowledges.
Bodhi looks at me like a puppy, and I smile shyly. âBelieve me, the fewer people who know, the better.â
âWhy? Do you read minds or something?â Garrick asks, making my face pale as I look at him.
âYou canât be serious,â Xaden says, arms crossed.
âIt gives you an advantage in absolutely everything. If this were in Basgiath, youâd already be dead,â Quinn adds, her eyes widening in my direction.
âIt doesnât work like that,â I start to defend myself. âI need permission.â
âYes, and she can only see what we allow her to,â Mara points out. âAlthough if she wanted to, she could force us to know everything, but she wants to be respectful.â
âI have principles.â I justify myself, feeling my cheeks flush.
Xaden raises an eyebrow. âAlright, letâs fight.â
I turn to him slowly. âYou think you could beat me?â
He gives that half-smile, only from the corner of his mouth. âI think Iâll win even if you try to read my movements. Letâs see what youâre capable of.â
The group immediately reacts with a chorus of âoooooh,â and I smile, accepting the challenge.
We walk to the training space. The hard-packed floor, the tense air, the rest of our friends around like an overly happy audience.
He assumes the fighting stance first, looking confident.
He advances quickly, and I quickly scan his mind for the movements. Enough to easily dodge.
The group cheers. He tries again. I dodge again.
âItâs getting predictable, Riorson,â I tease.
âOr youâre getting too cocky.â He counters, and I can almost hear the smile in his voice.
Blows and defenses are exchanged, him going hard, as if he knows that the size of his strength won't do him any good. And I feel bolder than I should.
And then, when he tries a quick spin to take me down, I duck at the last instant and say, with a victorious smile:
"You're smiling too much at someone who's losing."
And it's at that moment that the thought escapes him. Quick. Strong. Almost involuntary. And I see it.
"You're going to break that blade if you keep going like that," Xaden commented.
Garrick laughed. "Look who's talking. The man who's already broken four swords just from being angry."
Xaden didn't answer. He leaned against the pillar, crossing his arms, observing the movement of the fortress as if he were responsible for every stone in that place.
Garrick raised his eyes and studied his face with an almost offensive calm. "You know you're smiling, right?"
Xaden blinked slowly. âWhat am I?â
âSmiling.â Garrick shook his head in feigned surprise. âAnd thereâs no point in pretending. I havenât seen you like this since⊠well, since before everything went wrong.â
Xadenâs jaw tightened, but he didnât take the bait. âYouâre imagining things.â
âAm I? Then why did you personally deliver a book in the middle of her class?â
Garrick turned completely to face him now. âYou could have left it at the door. You could have sent someone. But no. You went. You went in. You stood in front of her. And you just stared.â
Xaden looked away towards the horizon, as if the wind were more interesting.
âIt was a necessary teaching tool,â he replied, too seriously.
Garrickâs smile widened. âOf course. Because you always care a lot about teaching tools.â
âIâm going to tell you something you might not want to hear, but youâre going to hear it anyway.â He tossed the dagger up, caught it easily, and pointed with it. âYouâre⊠different.â
âYou are.â Garrick rested his elbows on his knees. âShe makes you different. Iâve never seen you open up to anyone like this.â
Xaden frowned, but didnât retort.
âAnd thereâs one more thing,â Garrick said, narrowing his eyes as if observing a rare beast. âThis whole fake dating thing⊠it didnât have to be with you. You know that. Everyone knows that.â
Xaden stood absolutely still.
âBut when she said it had to be you, you agreed too quickly.â Garrick tilted his head. âToo quickly for someone who hates that kind of deal. Too quickly for someone who never gets involved.â
The air seemed to freeze between them.
Finally, Xaden said in a low, firm tone. âI did what needed to be done.â
Garrick smiled sideways, unconvinced. âYeah. Of course you did.â
His blow passes too close to my rib, but I donât feel fear, I only feel the memory of him still burning behind my eyes.
The way Xaden tried to deny it⊠but didnât.
And that disarms me in a way that no physical movement could. I mistime my defense by half a second, enough for him to almost catch me. Almost.
Reflexively I spin, dodge, and slide backward.
The group cheers as if I had performed magic.
âSheâs too fast!!â Bodhi shouts.
âFirst time Iâve seen someone escape Xadenâs trap,â Imogen comments, even impressed.
My heart is racing, my hands tremble slightly, and I feel the air trapped in my chest. The memory is still there, alive, pulsatingâhe didnât mean noâand that makes everything too tight.
âEnough.â My voice comes out firm, but low.
Xaden raises an eyebrow. âGiving up so soon?â
Itâs a light provocation. He seems to have no idea. I try to smile, but it seems fake even to me.
âIâm⊠tired.â I shrug, avoiding looking directly at him. âThat was enough for today.â
Garrick whistles. âIf that was tired, imagine restedâŠâ
Kess is already pulling me by the arm to celebrate, and I accept, smiling in her direction.
A thought of Mara crosses my mind when our eyes meet. âYou saw something you werenât ready for, right?â
And despite the shock, I smile because she knows me too well.
âOkay, thatâs enough. Go take a shower because you stink.â Mara interrupts, eliciting a few giggles.
âYeah, friend, I think youâre in more trouble than you thought.â She whispers as we walk away. âOr better than ever, depending on your point of view.â
And I know that maybe weâre going too far with what was just a pretense.
I had no idea why they had called me. They just told me âmandatory attendanceâ and sent me to the council room. That enormous hall, full of echoes, where every shadow seemed more threatening than useful.
When I arrived, the air was already heavy.
The councilors were lined up like griffins waiting for their prey to bleed. And among them, in the center, seated on the throne reserved for the duke was Xaden. Steel eyes. Clenched jaw.
He looked up when I entered. And what I saw there wasn't relief. It was⊠preparation. As if he knew exactly what was coming.
One of the advisors opened a scroll with an irritating snap, as if he wanted everything to sound more dramatic.
âNow that she has arrived. We have received official correspondence from the King of Poromiel.â
My fingers went cold. Cat's familyâŠ
The advisor cleared his throat theatrically and began to read:
âIt is with strangeness and deep concern that we observe the sudden closeness between Commander Riorson and a woman from an important, but common, family.â
I froze. My temples throbbed.
Xaden didn't move a muscle. He just kept looking at me. Steady. Assessing my every reaction as if it mattered more than the entire assembled council.
âWe request immediate clarification regarding the relationship. And, urgently, guarantees that political stability will be maintained. It is suggested that, if there is any intention⊠it be formalized through a clear commitment.â
The silence that followed was suffocating.
The councilors exchanged glances as if they were about to decide my fate. Or his. Or both of ours.
And one councilor said, âWell, weâre screwed because this isnât more than just a little romance.â
I opened my mouth to speak, to say anything, but I never managed to utter a sound.
Xaden simply extended his hand to me. Slowly. Calculated. Powerful.
And all the councilors turned their heads at the same time.
âCome.â He said, his voice low, but cutting through the air.
I took a step. Then another. And when I got close to the throne, I thought he just wanted me to stand beside him.
His hand encircled my waist and pulled me, deliberately publicly, to sit on his lap.
I lost my breath. The council members lost their composure.
And Xaden lost absolutely nothing, because he seemed to be exactly where he wanted to be. He placed a hand firmly on my thigh, anchoring me there, as if making a statement of power. Of possession. Of alliance.
âIf the council is concerned about rumorsâŠâ He began, his voice calm but sharp as a newly honed blade, âI can offer a clear answer.â
âAnd what would that beâŠ?â A council member asked.
Xaden tilted his head toward me, but his eyes never left the council members.
âSheâs mine. My girlfriend. And, if itâs her wish, Iâll make her my wife. Any objections?â
My heart stopped. Stopped. And then started again violently.
The council erupted in a mixture of protests, shock, and controlled panic.
He tightened his grip on my waist. Subtle. Protective.
âAnd before you think of questioning my judgment,â he continued, âremember that I would never compromise the safety of the kingdom. Do your part. Iâll take care of mine.â
That was it. The threat. The promise.
And I didnât know if I wanted to punch him or kiss him. Maybe both.
But one thing was certain: After today, there was no turning back. Not for me, and not for him.
After the meeting, something changed. Not explicitly between us. There was no conversation, no confession, not a different touch that could explain it.
But I knew he had changed. Well, that we had been changing with each other for weeks. Even though we hadn't even talked about our kiss.
As if that sentence had pulled a loose thread that we kept hidden, pretending it didn't exist. Now, every approach from him had weight. Every look lingered a little longer. Every silence between us seemed full of unspoken things, as if we were about to cross a line that, for some reason, we still insisted on not admitting we wanted to cross.
I had no idea who had authorized that party, probably nobody. The cadets simply appeared in the common room with bottles, music, and magical lights.
It was strange, after weeks of tension, to see griffins and dragons sharing the same space without wanting to tear each other apart.
"This is surreal," I murmured to Mara, while grabbing a juice that was definitely alcoholic from an improvised table.
"They called it a celebration of 'if we're going to die soon, at least we'll die with a drink in our hand.'" She laughed, rolling her eyes. âBut to me it just seems like collective neediness.â
We quickly joined our group. A group that strangely belonged to me more and more each day. If someone had told me months ago that I would be there, laughing with Kess, Garrick, and Imogen at a party that simply didn't make sense in wartime, I would have called it madness.
People were laughing too loudly, and the makeshift hall seemed too small for so many people mixed together who hated each other until recently.
But there I was, with Xaden very close.
His hand rested on my waist with a naturalness that no one questioned anymore. Including me.
He was leaning towards me, whispering something about Bodhi cheating at some card game in the corner, and I tried to pay attention. I really tried, but it was difficult when that touch felt like it was burning against my hip.
Mara arrived first, with a glass in her hand and a mischievous smile.
âYou two are being a little too well-behaved today,â she teased. âI'm almost thinking that, I know âThere, you two broke up.â
Garrick arched an eyebrow and added dryly, âYeah. Because the last time I saw you two in a crowded place like this⊠letâs just say you were a lot less distant.â
I rolled my eyes. âWeâre not distant.â
Imogen gave a short chuckle.
âHm. Sure. Youâre just standing side by side like two colleagues, barely touching.â
Xaden squeezed my waist just to contradict her, slowly, intentionally, as if to say, âIâm touching now.â
âSometimes I get worried, you know? Itâs just that itâs been so long since weâve seen you two⊠you know.â Quinn continued, gesturing as if stating the obvious. âKissing.â
His words drew a few glances. Nothing intrusive. Just a curiosity that everyone seemed to feel.
I felt Xaden watching me out of the corner of his eye before he turned his face fully towards me. It wasn't a request, nor a question.
It was an assessment. Like: "Do you want to?"
And I did. Gods, how I couldn't stop thinking about his touch.
He moved closer, just a little. As if he wanted to make sure I wouldn't pull away.
I raised my hand, lightly touched his chin, observing his eyes. And he didn't need anything more to bring our lips together.
The kiss began slowly. Warm. Confident. Like two actors who already knew they weren't acting anymore.
His hand moved up to the nape of my neck. Mine gripped his shirt.
Someone behind us let out a "finally," but I couldn't hear anything anymore. I was too focused on his touch, and on the feeling of finally reliving a kiss that had been etched in my mind.
As we slowly pulled away, his eyes lingered on mine for a second that was far too long.
âJust so you know,â he murmured softly, just for me. âI didnât do it to provoke you.â
âI know.â My voice came out softer than I expected.
Kess waved her hand in our direction.
âSee? I knew it. No breakup.â And she winked at me.
I could still taste his kiss on my lips when we reached the silent hallway. The entire fortress seemed to breathe slowly, as if the world had finally stopped for a second. Only I was too frantic.
Xaden walked beside me, his hand firmly on my waist since the hall. Not for the theater, but simply because he didnât want to let go.
When we entered my room, he hesitated for a moment. A single one. As if we hadnât been doing this for the past week, talking until we fell asleep.
But I already knew what had happened in the hallâwhat had been happening for weeksâas did he: this was no longer a fake relationship.
I held his hand before I could retreat to the duvet on the floor.
âXaden.â My voice came out almost a whisper. âCome to bed with me.â
He looked at me as if I had just broken down all his defenses at once.
I felt my heart pound in my throat. Fear. Desire. Courage. All mixed together.
And he took a deep breath as he moved even closer, as if he were controlling himself. He stopped in front of me, so close I could feel his breath brush against mine.
âIâm not going to touch you.â He began.
But I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart racing beneath my fingers. Like the last time we kissed in the courtyard.
âI want you to touch me.â I said.
The air between us seemed to crack.
His hand slowly moved up my waist, then down my back, pulling me against his body in a slow, deliberate movement. My body responded before I even thoughtâas if it had known him for much longer than it should.
He rested his forehead against mine, taking a deep breath.
âIf I start⊠I wonât be able to pretend this doesnât mean anything. Iâve been paranoid enough since the last time we kissed.â
I smiled, my heart crumbling and rebuilding at the same time. âWeâre not pretending anymore.â
And then, he kissed me. A slow, deep kiss that seemed to carry everything neither of us had said aloud yet.
I pressed my fingers into the nape of his neck. He slid his hands down my waist, lifting me slightly, as if he wanted to feel me completely against him.
And when he set me down on the mattress, he looked at me. Really looked at me. I knew there was no more acting between us.
--------------------------
I woke up alone. The bed was still warm on his side, but the presence that had touched and embraced me all night was gone.
On the pillow, I found a folded note and a steaming mug of tea on the small desk.
âIâll be back before lunch. Drink the tea â Xâ
The note shouldnât have meant so much.
But it did. More than the kiss at the party. More than any excuse to stay close to him.
I liked him. Really. In a way that had nothing to do with agreements, nothing to do with politics, nothing to do with squad protection. It was my heart, simply⊠giving in.
I could still smell him on my neck. On my sheets.
I could still feel his hand. I could still remember his look when we pulled away, half dark, half determined. As if he were accepting something he hadnât planned. Something neither of us had planned.
Kess noticed. Of course she noticed.
âYour face is giving it all away,â she said as she tied my hair back during practice. âYouâre thinking about him.â
But, that same day, just before I decided to face my feelings, reality hit me so hard it felt like a slap.
Mara walked into my dorm room before lunch, her face tense, a crumpled letter in her hand.
âDid you see this?â she asked.
She handed me the paper. I recognized the sealâit was an internal squadron newsletter, the kind of document that usually dealt with logistics, surveillance, border updates.
But this edition⊠wasnât that. In the center of the page was a highlighted paragraph:
âSome knights are concerned about the recent alliances between leaders on both sides. Sources claim that the Griffin knight is getting close to the duke for self-interestâseeking access to the Council, influence, and prestige. Others allege that she may be being used as a distraction. Or to make his exes jealous.â
My stomach churned. I read it again. Then again.
Self-interest. Influence. Used. Jealousy.
Bile rose in my throat. âWho sent this?â I whispered.
âSomeone from the Griffins, probably.â Mara crossed her arms, her expression hard. âOr someone who wants to see you destabilized. Because⊠it worked?â
I couldnât answer. My chest ached in a strange wayâit wasn't just anger. It was fear.
Fear that it would get to him.
Fear that Xaden would think it was true that I was getting close to him for status, for power, for convenience.
Kess came in right after, locking the door and saw my face.
"Hey⊠you can't let this affect you," she said, but her voice lacked conviction.
"Xaden won't believe it," Mara added. "He's not stupid."
But what if he does believe it?
What if he looks at me and sees exactly what everyone else was saying?
My throat tightened. Becauseâand I hated to admit itâsomething else hurt even more than the gossip:
The idea that this rumor⊠could convince him to back down.
And even though I knew it wasn't trueâeven though my body still remembered the kiss at the party, the way Xaden made me his all night, I was still apprehensive.
Because I had finally admitted to myself that it wasn't an act. And it was exactly when I let my guard down that someone aimed straight at my weakest point.
So I did what I always do when I'm too hurt to react:
I locked my bedroom door. I curled up beside the bed. And I tried, in vain, to breathe without pain again.
The silence was short-lived. Three firm knocks. And his voice.
My chest tightened. I didn't answer. Maybe he would leave. Maybe it was better that way.
Another knock. Lower. More controlled. "I know you're there, and I'm not leaving."
I swallowed hard. The knocks stopped⊠to my terror and relief.
And then the lock turned. Making me sit up quickly in bed.
I blinked, confusedâuntil I remembered that he had opened that door before. What shadow opens any weak lock.
Xaden entered slowly. As if getting any closer could break me.
His face was strange. Too controlled. Too cold. Pure danger beneath the surface.
But the eyes⊠the eyes sought mine as if they needed to see me breathing before they could breathe themselves.
âTheyâre saying horrible things about me, Xaden.â My voice came out lower than I intended. âAnd about you. And about us. And I⊠I donât know how to deal with this.â
He closed the door behind him with a soft click.
âYou donât have to deal with this alone.â
I swallowed again. The feelings were too heavy to speak.
âI just⊠didnât want you to hear.â
He took a deep breath, and I sawâfor the first timeâtrue anger seeping through the shadows in the corners of the room. Low, throbbing, boiling.
âI heard it.â His voice came out in a calmness that almost burned. âAnd if I find another cadet repeating this shit, there wonât be anything left of him for the gossip to continue.â
My eyes widened. He wasnât exaggerating.
Xaden took two steps until he stopped in front of me. He knelt down to be at my height, the duke at⊠at my feet.
âLook at me.â And I looked. âDo you think I would let someone use my name, my power, my position without realizing it?â He tilted his head, bringing his face closer to mine. âAnd do you think I would use you?â "Who wouldn't choose you?"
When I didn't answer, his jaw clenched so tightly I almost heard it.
"Read my mind," he said, his eyes fixed on mine.
"Xaden, you don't need to..."
"Read it," he insisted, placing my hand on his face.
As soon as my hand touched his face, the world disappeared. But this time, it's not a recent memory.
It's deeper. Older. The shadow parted, and I fell directly into what he didn't want to admit even to himself.
Me, arriving with the griffins, exhausted, covered in dust, arguing with one of the commanders about how high we had to climb. I didn't even remember that.
But he remembers. Xaden standing further back, arms crossed, expression unreadable, thinking: âWho is she?â
He sees me enter the fortress kitchen, haphazardly tying my hair back and starting to help one of the employees carry boxes of supplies.
Then, my intention ignites and reaches him like a clean blow: âSheâs going to kiss me. Here. Now. In front of everyone.â
All the excuses to keep my distance, all the self-control he pretended to have. And the understanding: After this kiss, I wonât be able to stay away from her again.
And he stands outside my office, listening to my voice and my jokes. Watching me laugh at a cadet who got an answer wrong, and adjusting his hair that was coming loose.
âDo you see now?â He asks, bringing me back to reality.
âCan you read intentions?â I ask, seeing a smile escape his lips.
âOf everything Iâve shown you, is this what caught your attention?â
âWell, thatâs quite a surprise.â I reply, watching as he stands up.
He just shakes his head, as if heâs internally laughing at me.
âYes,â he finally admits. âI felt when you hesitated. When you thought about backing away. When you decided to kiss me anyway.â
He takes a step back, as if giving me space to breathe. âAnd I felt when that changed everything.â
My heart clenches. âYou knew I had seen that memory?â
His eyes meet mine in a way that almost makes my legs fall off. âYou know I did.â
I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off before I can. âI should have stayed away. It was the right thing to do. It was the safest thing to do.â
He takes a deep breath, runs his hand over his tense jaw. âBut after the book, the worry, the kiss⊠I couldnât. I thought the limit would be at the council meeting, when you sat on my lap and seemed to really belong to me. But yesterday⊠yesterday, everything changed.â
Silence. A heavy silence. A burning silence.
âXadenâŠâ I whisper.
âI donât want you to think for a second that I approached you out of convenience.â He takes another step, now close enough for me to feel the warmth of his body. âI approached you because you disarmed me before I even realized it.â
My chest aches. But itâs a good kind of ache.
âAnd now?â I ask, almost in a whisper.
âNow?â he repeats, watching my hand tremble slightly before carefully taking it. âNow youâve read everything, I canât go back. Damn it, I donât even want to go back. I just want you.â
âI want you too, Xaden.â I reply, getting up from the bed. Really looking into his eyes. âBut, I donât know where to startâŠâ
An easy smile spread across his face, one of those genuine smiles he seemed to reserve only for those who mattered. His hand found my cheek, and he gently caressed it.
"We can start with forever."
