Verse 1
- Make the trees popping up a little faster to the music and springing back in place if possible.
- Carcinoma bobs a bit, make it stop…
- Make Carcinoma split in two instead of falling away and make one part slide off and the other stay.
- Untreated Glaucoma… Glaucoma needs something more happening to it… maybe each letter popping in separately?
- ‘now I find it hard to see’ needs to be fixed! Move the camera? Make SEE small and have the camera zoom in on it in the bottom corner.
- ‘This untreated dose….’ Part should be white.
- As ‘has’ comes up into ‘of you’ make it faster and not so flowy.
Verse 2
- The doctor sign comes in a bit too quickly I think.
- ‘now’ is flowing back and forth, make it stop.
- ‘All I see is’ still levitate a little bit, try and fix it.
- The ‘O’ of YOU should be gone by the time ‘when we first’ comes in.
Verse 3
- You can’t see all of ‘you seemed’, make it smaller.
- Have a look at the transition to shallow.
- ‘MATCH’ does the flowy bobbing thing, make it stop.
- The wiggling of the arrow needs to be slowed down.
- It’s ‘BREATH’ not breathe…
Verse 4
- ‘you’ should be completely reviled when he stops singing it.
- Flower is gone for a frame before the animation.
- Maybe make the growing animation as long as he sings ‘grew’?
- Melanoma should maybe be reviled in the same way the last organ is?
- The letters of ‘never’ could be reviled as you hear them.
- Skip the shrinking of the text and have it fade instead.
- And have the mole be unmasked only while the mole is growing in scale so that you never see the edge of it.
- And finally have ‘on’ and ‘you’ be reviled by unmasking them as well, from middle and out.