This might be a bit long-winded, and I'm pretty sure no one's even gonna be here to read it, but I just wanted to reminisce for a bit. After all my name-changes I'm not sure who will even remember me, but this blog was named "siiq" and "addict3d" for the longest periods of time. Bear with me as I just word-vomit all over the place.
TL;DR It's been fun, but this might finally be the last time I hop on here.
Hell, the last time I logged in was like a year and a half ago. Nonetheless, it's been kinda fun coming back here and just seeing what's what who's still around, who's deactivated, and what the site even looks like.
I still remember when shortly before the end of my Senior year of high school in 2011 God I'm fucking old when one of my friends in my GFX class decided to make a Tumblr account for me against my will because SHE felt like I needed one. I didn't even do anything with it over that whole Summer either. It wasn't until September I decided to get on here and see what it was all about. Very quickly it became sort of a home away from home. Myself and my immediate family members had had our entire world rocked and flipped upside down shortly before I got on here, and Tumblr became an escape for me. A way to disconnect from my world and circumstances at the time. An outlet for me to express myself and my creativity as well. Never did I think upon logging in here for the first time that I would eventually have over 25,000 people following me, and that a fair few of them would become great friends for that season of my life. People that could relate to me. People that would listen. People that were also, in different ways, broken like I was. People that needed a friend, like I did. Side note, it amazes me that people still talk shit about friendships online. One of my best friends of 15+ years is a guy I first met gaming in like '08 and we didn't even meet each other in person for the first time until about 5 years later.
But anyways, I don't think y'all will ever really know how much everything meant to me. The messaging back and forth, getting to know each other, the late night phone calls when one of us just needed to talk, all the times we'd get the gang together in Tinychat and just hang out, the roasting and trash-talking, reblogging each other's selfies just 'cause we just wanted our friends faces on our blogs, all of it.
All the little things. Such simple things. They meant so much.
So now here I am. Sitting at my desk, almost 12 years to the day after my first post. Scrolling through my archive and my messages for the last little while, just reliving some moments, scrolling through who I'm following and remembering simpler times. A lot of us have moved on and away from this site. A lot of us have grown up and subsequently grown apart as life has carried us in different directions and down different paths. And I know at this point most of y'all will never see this, but just know, wherever you are in life, whatever you're keeping yourselves busy with, I'm thinking about you and truly wishing all of you the best of luck in whatever you set your hand to. You, unknowingly, helped me through arguably the toughest years of my life and I'll never be able to repay you for that. You deserve the world and more, and I wish I could give it to you.
Again, sorry for the wall of text but I just wanted to get this all out in one sitting. I feel like it's been a long time coming.
With that all being said, I'm not going to deactivate this blog (at least not until Tumblr decides to do it for me), but it's at this time that I will bid you all a very fond farewell.
Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And keep on keepin' on.
Adieu, my friends. And thank you.
Josh
