Too many questions, too little time. Flinging his hands in the air, he shot Jack an annoyed look. “I was busy, he was distracting, and I see myself all the time. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I need to tell you anything. Everything. I meant everything.”
Staring at the Doctor, his jaw dropping at the criticism of his timey-wimey detector, he shook it vigorously in the Doctor’s face. “Well, I’d like to see you come up with something better! All you have is a broom!” He eyed the broom and cautiously sidled back off to the side. “A very… broomy-broom, nice broom, good quality, very bristles, but still a broom. It’s not even sonic. And I created the thing and improved the thing. This one doesn’t explode chickens. Well, only a little. Well– anyway, point is…”
Whatever the point might have been was lost as he shied back from the imminent broom threat to his hair. “Not the hair! And from a certain point of view, I am your biggest fan. I regenerated into me. How’s that for being a fan? Besides, it’s not like you don’t lie all the time, especially to preserve the time line. Blimey, talk about exothermic combuster calling the I-gen radiator hot.”
But it was when the Doctor’s comments turned to Jack that Doc went very still… and he might have blacked out for a moment, because the next thing he knew, he’d reared back and slapped the Doctor right across the face.
He hadn’t done a Donna-ism in a very long time.
“Stop that,” he hissed. “That wasn’t funny - that wasn’t even rude - that went right past rude and entered orbit. Missed the moon. Fell into the Medusa Cascade. You’re right, Coal Hill is better with one Doctor, and it isn’t you.”
Jack was admittedly very confused. When he would be stuck in a room with more than one Doctor, this wasn’t how he saw it going. He was about to say something more when the imminent eruption of violence between the two aliens was about to come to a head when Doc snapped at him.
Widening his eyes a bit, the Captain raised a brow and took a step back and gave his husband one of the most offended looks he could muster. Sliding his gaze over towards the Doctor, the immortal placed his lips into a tight, thin line deciding that now wasn’t the time to have a domestic; especially in front of the Doctor.
Besides, Doc corrected himself quickly after.
“Guys, it’s just a detection devise, it’s really not something to fight over…” but he knew his words were being drowned out over the arguing that was going on between the two. Sighing, heavily, Jack re-crossed his arms over his chest and only paused to give the Time Lord a confused glance.
“Head in a jar? What-” Growing silent when Doc slapped the Doctor, Jack looked between the two knowing that there was a shared secret that he wasn’t privy to. Stepping forward, he placed himself between the Time Lord and his husband, taking care to face Doc and to show his back to the Doctor.
“Stop, both of you.” He warned, giving them both an equal look before meeting Doc’s gaze. Lowering his voice, he shook his head. “He’s not worth it, just let him go, he’ll disappear soon enough. Just remember that you decided to stay here and he didn’t. You’re saving these kids more than he is and you are the better Doctor.”
The Doctor was well within the realms of being absolutely rude and unforgivable and though in the back of his mind he acknowledged this; it was too far back for him to stop or decide to apologise. Besides, he knew better not to apologise when he didn’t really mean it.
Standing in stunned silence after he had been slapped, he blinked once, then twice, before allowing his jaw to slack open. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” Was all he managed to get out, recognising the ‘Donna’ in his Metacrisis. “I was simply stating what could happen, as you’re well aware.” Sniffing, the Doctor moved to paying more attention to his broom than Jack and Doc.
Except he absolutely was listening in on their conversation. Rolling his eyes at Jack’s ‘you’re better than him’ speech, the Doctor moved the stick end of the broom away from him and tapped the Captain on the shoulder. “He’s not, but it’s nice for you to say that.” Giving a vicious grin, the Doctor adjusted his shoulders before placing the broom down correctly and leaning against it.
“I’ve been coming back regularly, you know, just to check in on the place and a few of it’s staff members.” He gave them a knowing look before continuing. “I’ve also been laying traps around to catch things and to read the meters when the Rift inevitably opens.” Tilting his head, he narrowed his gaze at Doc. “Which, by the way, I’ve seen you do very much the same. Good on you. However, you should adjust your readers to tell when it’s me coming through so you won’t have to waste your time chasing me down whenever I pop in for a visit.”
Clearing his throat, he raised his head and listened in to Time. “The Rift will be opening again soon, I’d want to be there if I were you, I think something might be coming through this time.”