An archive that shan't burn

"everything and nothing"

[aexiphera]

They say actions speak louder than words, which is why when you make rash decisions, you cant hear yourself think

[aexiphera]

Today i realized how privileged I am to be able to write as well as i can (even on those days) and that I enjoy it just as much

[aexiphera]

I hate to admit it but, I think I'm more of an academic writer than a creative one 😨😨😨

[aexiphera]

Self concept is a complicated subject, people spend most of their lives stumbling around in the dark trying to find it. In order to capture the subject, it must be seen, therefore it is not enough for it to be lit from only one perspective, but rather through the collective effort of a lighting set. A collective effort, parallel to how it is only through connection; through other people, that we truly become our "true" selves. Without others, the self will remain the same—in darkness—even to the person themself, for it is almost impossible to understand something, let alone find if it lies in darkness. There are parts of the self that can only be brought out by other people, there will always be something that other people can bring out in you that you, yourself cannot.

I can only hope that i am able to be apart of someone's lighting rig, that i am/can/have brought out something in someone, that i have illuminated the best of someone. I only hope to be one of the many lights that shows us your true self.

[aexiphera]

A dead cat's body, the curiosity that killed it, with no satisfaction to be seen.

It is almost human nature to creep into unknown territory and toy with concepts inconceivable to the regular man. This has led to some of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind, and at the same time, unearthed horrors that would have been better off buried in time. This leads to me to think that it is human intervention that creates these monstrosities, after all, the earth has spun for far longer than when humans first arrived. Its quite ironic isnt it? How fast your own curiosity can turn against you when you search in the abyss that is the unknown.

(Someone tried to bother me while i was trying to disassociate and i kicked them)

[mrhuskay]

I just had a talk with my brother about how he (and a lot of people) don't have any real hobbies that makes them happy besides social media, and it made me realize how lucky I am to love writing as much as I do and of the genuine happiness it provides me (even if it also irritates me sometimes). I'm so happy that I have not let go of it and that I keep writing even through difficult times 🫂🫂🫂

[karenandwriting]

When you're writing and then all of a sudden you write a sentence either so good or so bad that you need to immiedetly shut your device

[aexiphera]

Dear blog,

Today, i started a blog, this one, the one that you're reading right now. Ironically, as I'm writing this, I am so done with writing, I'm stick to my stomach. I just can't get a grip on it right now, everything just feels so sloppy and so mediocre, everything from my word choice to my use of literary devices, feels so bad, it all feels just so "eh". On paper, it doesn't look THAT bad, but I know for sure, I'm better than mediocre slop. Recently. I've also noticed my vocabulary and even my inner dialogue has started to decline, so I've been talking to myself more, even tho I'm reluctant to and kinda scared to.

As of right now, the plan is to learn to deal with mediocrity, not accept it, but to learn from it i guess, and to put less stake into it.

Bye blog.