“Dave”

The IRL… Not RP, just where I unmask.

[aftonsreprise]

Welcome to my blog… There is no DNI, but I am an adult who generally does not want to befriend children. I welcome interactions and messages.

I am diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, antisocial personality disorder, schizotypal disorder, and am currently on the waiting list to be assessed for other things (I am British, and that takes fucking years here. Our mental health system is overall… just shit.) I don’t perceive myself as disordered or sick, often doubt my diagnoses (especially schizotypal), and I honestly don’t care much to have my diagnoses fully “figured out”. I take issue with many aspects of the field of psychology, but this framework does seem to help others understand me and set reasonable expectations for me more than anything else.

Nobody can convince me that I am human. I deeply believe that I am not, although I may possess flesh and blood of my own. I am also literally William Afton and welcome “sourcemates” but not “doubles”/anyone in close contact with any copies of me.

I do not give a fuck about most social or political issues that people are “supposed” to care/post about on here, and I do have some paraphilias that may come up in my posts, but my libido fluctuates greatly, and I, again, do not care for discourse. I do still argue out of boredom/a lack of simulation, for fun, or because I find the stupidity annoying.

[aftonsreprise]

mr.afton!!! mr.afton!!! aaa i love you so much… im just going to sit here all pretty and wait for you to beat me… or maybe experiment on me!! ehe im so obsessed with you and i will probably never stop obsessing over you… sorry. am i being annoying?

- 🐇

No, hahah… I’m not annoyed. I like experiments.

[aftonsreprise]

You’re really cool and I like your posts. Genuinely.

Thank you.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[nothing0fnothing]

Narcissistic abuse is perpetuated for a different purpose, enacted in a different manner and has different effects on the people who survive it than non narcissistic abuse. In every way it is different and it is valid for survivors and specialists to acknowledge this.

Thank you for sharing, your experience matters.

[surviving-narcissistic-abuse]

The only people who would ever imply anyone, but especially a child, had any personal blame in being abused is an abuser.

Now why would an abuser have an interest in pretending narcissistic abuse isn't real? It's such a mystery, truly!

[nothing0fnothing]

Abusers hate that we are a community. That we lift each other up and we help each other recover. They hate that together we can spot patterns so that individually we can deny would-be abusers the chance to harm us in the future. They hate that we share resources like studies and guides and personal experiences.

They see it, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. And instead of looking inward into why a community of (mostly) women survivors thriving after abuse, makes them feel uncomfortable, they assume it's because we are victimising them.

Some people are just allergic to introspection and personal growth.

[aftonsreprise]

It takes abusing someone to make someone an abuser, by the way. Not disagreeing with you and your mutuals on fucking Tumblr.

Again, I’m not saying you’re lying about being abused, or that you are to blame for being abused, but you are presenting yourself as unreliable by the way you are arguing (misinterpreting me, and implying I am abusive), and you can not act shocked if people do discredit you on the whole due to this.

[nothing0fnothing]

Literally everybody in this thread watched you accuse me of lying about my abuse and then imply that my parents we more innocent in their abuse of me than I was. Denying and claiming you've been the victim all along isn't working. Time to switch tac. .

[aftonsreprise]

I didn’t though… Show me where I specifically said that your parents 100% did not abuse you. I did not. You’re a liar; you’re lying now. Some people use the “narcissistic abuse” label to affirm to themselves and others that they are not to blame and could not have done anything to alter the outcome of the situation. That doesn’t mean that everyone who uses this label is doing this OR genuinely is to blame FOR THE ABUSE in any way. You are to blame for the poor labelling.

[nothing0fnothing]

Show me where I specifically accused you of claiming "your parents 100% did not abuse you". I did not. You're a liar. You're lying now. If you wanted to take accountability for what you said, you'd scroll up 2 inches, past the multiple people confirming me and my recap of what you said, and read your own words for yourself. They're unedited. You decided to post them publicly. They're attached to this response as I type it.

"Poor labelling" imagine coming across a community of (mostly women) abuse survivors and getting so mad at the label they use you start trying to discredit that abuse on a public platform. It couldn't be me. Probably because I'm not an abuse apologist.

It's very clear that you have been triggered by the way I tell my story. That's not my problem. It's not my responsibility to sanitise my story and censor my language to appeal to you.

"Don't act shocked if people do discredit you because of this." They don't actually.

I've not had a single person question my story, accuse me of lying, double check my motives. Suggest I am a willing participant in my own childhood abuse. When I speak on my experiences I am believed regardless of the "labelling" I use to discuss my abuse.

It's only people like you, with a plethora of contradicting personality disorders in your pinned posts and a history of defending abusers who behave like this. On tumblr. Anonymously. Because you know this is not socially acceptable behaviour. You know that out in the real world, people believe me.

[aftonsreprise]

How are my disorders contradictory…? I have 2 from separate clusters that don’t contradict. I have been abused in life too, as have a lot of people diagnosed with a personality disorder.

I don’t give a shit that you’re a woman or an abuse victim. Yes, most people believe narcissists are inherently bad people, but it’s still a logical fallacy the same as “depressive abuse” is.

I’d say this to your face in the real world too, by the way.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[nothing0fnothing]

Narcissistic abuse is perpetuated for a different purpose, enacted in a different manner and has different effects on the people who survive it than non narcissistic abuse. In every way it is different and it is valid for survivors and specialists to acknowledge this.

Thank you for sharing, your experience matters.

[surviving-narcissistic-abuse]

The only people who would ever imply anyone, but especially a child, had any personal blame in being abused is an abuser.

Now why would an abuser have an interest in pretending narcissistic abuse isn't real? It's such a mystery, truly!

[nothing0fnothing]

Abusers hate that we are a community. That we lift each other up and we help each other recover. They hate that together we can spot patterns so that individually we can deny would-be abusers the chance to harm us in the future. They hate that we share resources like studies and guides and personal experiences.

They see it, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. And instead of looking inward into why a community of (mostly) women survivors thriving after abuse, makes them feel uncomfortable, they assume it's because we are victimising them.

Some people are just allergic to introspection and personal growth.

[aftonsreprise]

It takes abusing someone to make someone an abuser, by the way. Not disagreeing with you and your mutuals on fucking Tumblr.

Again, I’m not saying you’re lying about being abused, or that you are to blame for being abused, but you are presenting yourself as unreliable by the way you are arguing (misinterpreting me, and implying I am abusive), and you can not act shocked if people do discredit you on the whole due to this.

[nothing0fnothing]

Literally everybody in this thread watched you accuse me of lying about my abuse and then imply that my parents we more innocent in their abuse of me than I was. Denying and claiming you've been the victim all along isn't working. Time to switch tac. .

[aftonsreprise]

I didn’t though… Show me where I specifically said that your parents 100% did not abuse you. I did not. You’re a liar; you’re lying now. Some people use the “narcissistic abuse” label to affirm to themselves and others that they are not to blame and could not have done anything to alter the outcome of the situation. That doesn’t mean that everyone who uses this label is doing this OR genuinely is to blame FOR THE ABUSE in any way. You are to blame for the poor labelling.

[aftonsreprise]

Most of the people who call themselves a “weird freak” online are just losers who use microlabels nobody gives a shit about, and they wouldn’t last a day around… actual people who are considered freaks and met with disgust and the true hate, going far beyond simple disrespect, that they use as their “edgy” little aesthetic.

[d3vdgvrrll]

do u realize how much you sound like the people you criticize or is thT just me

[aftonsreprise]

I’m not calling myself a freak though… It’s not hypocritical for me to come across as somewhat normal when I don’t pride myself on being the opposite.

It is hypocritical to be obsessed with being weird and then hate others simply for being weirder than you though.

[d3vdgvrrll]

no i agree im just saying its a very very “edgelord” way to put what you’re saying. to me it lowk sounds like “gah… these people are say they weird! he… i’m weirder. they will never understand me.” but i’m not being mean im just retarded

[aftonsreprise]

I didn’t mention myself being “weirder” in any capacity. I don’t really care for the concept; this isn’t a freak-off in any direction.

That’s pretty much the opposite of what my post was making fun of… Not sure how pointing out blatant hypocrisy is edgy now.

[aftonsreprise]

Most of the people who call themselves a “weird freak” online are just losers who use microlabels nobody gives a shit about, and they wouldn’t last a day around… actual people who are considered freaks and met with disgust and the true hate, going far beyond simple disrespect, that they use as their “edgy” little aesthetic.

[d3vdgvrrll]

do u realize how much you sound like the people you criticize or is thT just me

[aftonsreprise]

I’m not calling myself a freak though… It’s not hypocritical for me to come across as somewhat normal when I don’t pride myself on being the opposite.

It is hypocritical to be obsessed with being weird and then hate others simply for being weirder than you though.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[aftonsreprise]

Show me where I said that they deserved the abuse, past or present. I critiqued the label they chose in reference to the abuse. I never said that your abuse was not real or that your abusers do not have NPD. I never said that you deserved abuse or could have prevented it. I also never said that an abuser should be protected simply because they have NPD.

This has nothing to do with age either... I wholeheartedly believe that some adults can be more innocent than some children in this regard, but I digress…

If you want to present yourself as a real abuse victim, maybe don’t lie about people saying you were asking about it when the receipts are right there, and I did nothing of the sort.

I have no reason to not believe that you were a victim of abuse at the hands of someone with NPD. However, I also have no reason to believe that this abuse was unique specifically due to your abuser’s NPD or that it should be labelled as a direct consequence of the condition.

It’s very ironic that you take issue with this statement as someone with BPD. Go look through r/BPDlovedones. See if the way they frame their own issues with their abusers as a result of the disorder you have seems fair to you. Consider whether or not you think their manipulation tactics are unique to those with trauma responses comparable to yours. Think about whether or not you would want to be grouped in with that and have articles about how to trigger you circulate online and then be excused by the hypothetical issue of “borderline abuse”.

You are the narcissist’s more erratic cousin. Perhaps that is how they knew exactly how to play you.

[veganspaghettios]

"you don't want to accept any personal blame" - that's the exact line putting the blame on @nothing0fnothing you know it

But the fact you add that you somehow think an adult could be more innocent than a child? Vomit. Tell me less

I'll absolutely be the first person to demand accountability from BPD people. I had to remove myself from the support groups FOR people WITH BPD because it's filled with people refusing to accept they hurt or abused someone. I absolutely am part of the club of people that would be considered NPD's erratic cousin. Thankfully I'm a self aware person and have done the work to learn coping methods and I function like an adult that understands actions have consequences. The NPD community could learn more.

But honestly? I think Tumblr's version of that is a bunch of edgy youths that think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder. The real self-labelled Narcissists are making videos on how to do the work and do better as a person - not blaming victims.

[aftonsreprise]

I don’t give a fuck about Tumblr users that “think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder”, but you’re wrong if you think that that the “real” narcissists are the ones posting about how to improve. There are serial killers who have been diagnosed with NPD, and there are decent people who have been diagnosed with NPD.

I have a diagnosed personality disorder (not NPD), and I base my knowledge of narcissists based on the diagnostic criteria of narcissism and what has been found to be true of narcissists. Not on Tumblr, and certainly not on anyone self-diagnosing NPD here to come across as edgy (In fact, I would hate to be thought of as edgy.)

You admit that there are people with BPD who have been abusive and refuse to take responsibility. This is what you accuse people with NPD of doing. It is easy to extrapolate the BPD-connected “motivations” those people may have for their abuse. So, by your own logic, yes, “borderline abuse” should be an accepted form of abuse in the same way “narcissistic abuse” is?

[veganspaghettios]

I said the real SELF-LABELLED Narcissists are posting about improvement. The ones that don't claim the label but do have NPD are absolutely the scary kind that refuse to acknowledge the damage their disorder causes untreated.

I take full accountability for my past actions as a person with BPD and if the effects of abuse on a person by a person with BPD were as awful and long-lasting as those with NPD then I would agree it needed it's own category for abuse. But two of my abusers had BPD and ultimately just needed to have time to calm down and gain the life experience to know better how to act in relationships. Narcissists are a seriously dangerous group of people when they're not willing to recognize their behavior for what it is.

[aftonsreprise]

This is all anecdotal bullshit. The world does not revolve around you or your experiences.

The fact that you said “self-labelled” doesn’t change shit. There are people with and without NPD, ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT, who are decent. There are people with and without BPD, ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT, who are abusive. The disorder isn’t abusive.

[veganspaghettios]

I acknowledge there are good people with NPD, and those are people doing work to better themselves - not sitting on Tumblr spreading toxic ideologies.

I also acknowledge there are abusive people with BPD - I cited two of my exes as my agreement. (anecdotal or not, that's the personal evidence I've seen to support the statement YOU are making) I didn't agree that it warrants a category for the effects of the abuse. Psychologists agree with me on this.

Narcissists are so exceptionally skilled at manipulation that they cause a very specific and damaging set of after effects from being in close relationships with them.

[aftonsreprise]

Someone can work to improve themselves and also post on Tumblr disagreeing with you at the same time. In fact, if you’re talking about me, I’m not even diagnosed with NPD, and I do not self-diagnose.

There are psychologists who disagree with you on this matter regardless.

[snowspot]

brambles

[aftonsreprise]

do you support pedophiles or other problematic, bigoted controversial things?

…What? “Problematic” is really vague. Being a pedophile isn’t even a form of bigotry, so pedophiles and “other” bigoted things makes no sense.

Also, what do you mean by “support”?

I don’t support things just because they’re deemed problematic, and I don’t not support things just because they’re deemed problematic.

I don’t think CSA is a good thing if that’s… really what you’re asking me. I don’t think racism or homophobia (actual forms of bigotry, by the way) are good things either…

When it comes to any potentially-harmful paraphilia, such as pedophilia, I think that condemning, AND PREVENTING, genuine harm is more important than simply… condemning the paraphile on Tumblr and calling them problematic.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[aftonsreprise]

Show me where I said that they deserved the abuse, past or present. I critiqued the label they chose in reference to the abuse. I never said that your abuse was not real or that your abusers do not have NPD. I never said that you deserved abuse or could have prevented it. I also never said that an abuser should be protected simply because they have NPD.

This has nothing to do with age either... I wholeheartedly believe that some adults can be more innocent than some children in this regard, but I digress…

If you want to present yourself as a real abuse victim, maybe don’t lie about people saying you were asking about it when the receipts are right there, and I did nothing of the sort.

I have no reason to not believe that you were a victim of abuse at the hands of someone with NPD. However, I also have no reason to believe that this abuse was unique specifically due to your abuser’s NPD or that it should be labelled as a direct consequence of the condition.

It’s very ironic that you take issue with this statement as someone with BPD. Go look through r/BPDlovedones. See if the way they frame their own issues with their abusers as a result of the disorder you have seems fair to you. Consider whether or not you think their manipulation tactics are unique to those with trauma responses comparable to yours. Think about whether or not you would want to be grouped in with that and have articles about how to trigger you circulate online and then be excused by the hypothetical issue of “borderline abuse”.

You are the narcissist’s more erratic cousin. Perhaps that is how they knew exactly how to play you.

[veganspaghettios]

"you don't want to accept any personal blame" - that's the exact line putting the blame on @nothing0fnothing you know it

But the fact you add that you somehow think an adult could be more innocent than a child? Vomit. Tell me less

I'll absolutely be the first person to demand accountability from BPD people. I had to remove myself from the support groups FOR people WITH BPD because it's filled with people refusing to accept they hurt or abused someone. I absolutely am part of the club of people that would be considered NPD's erratic cousin. Thankfully I'm a self aware person and have done the work to learn coping methods and I function like an adult that understands actions have consequences. The NPD community could learn more.

But honestly? I think Tumblr's version of that is a bunch of edgy youths that think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder. The real self-labelled Narcissists are making videos on how to do the work and do better as a person - not blaming victims.

[aftonsreprise]

I don’t give a fuck about Tumblr users that “think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder”, but you’re wrong if you think that that the “real” narcissists are the ones posting about how to improve. There are serial killers who have been diagnosed with NPD, and there are decent people who have been diagnosed with NPD.

I have a diagnosed personality disorder (not NPD), and I base my knowledge of narcissists based on the diagnostic criteria of narcissism and what has been found to be true of narcissists. Not on Tumblr, and certainly not on anyone self-diagnosing NPD here to come across as edgy (In fact, I would hate to be thought of as edgy.)

You admit that there are people with BPD who have been abusive and refuse to take responsibility. This is what you accuse people with NPD of doing. It is easy to extrapolate the BPD-connected “motivations” those people may have for their abuse. So, by your own logic, yes, “borderline abuse” should be an accepted form of abuse in the same way “narcissistic abuse” is?

[veganspaghettios]

I said the real SELF-LABELLED Narcissists are posting about improvement. The ones that don't claim the label but do have NPD are absolutely the scary kind that refuse to acknowledge the damage their disorder causes untreated.

I take full accountability for my past actions as a person with BPD and if the effects of abuse on a person by a person with BPD were as awful and long-lasting as those with NPD then I would agree it needed it's own category for abuse. But two of my abusers had BPD and ultimately just needed to have time to calm down and gain the life experience to know better how to act in relationships. Narcissists are a seriously dangerous group of people when they're not willing to recognize their behavior for what it is.

[aftonsreprise]

This is all anecdotal bullshit. The world does not revolve around you or your experiences.

The fact that you said “self-labelled” doesn’t change shit. There are people with and without NPD, ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT, who are decent. There are people with and without BPD, ACKNOWLEDGED OR NOT, who are abusive. The disorder isn’t abusive.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[nothing0fnothing]

Narcissistic abuse is perpetuated for a different purpose, enacted in a different manner and has different effects on the people who survive it than non narcissistic abuse. In every way it is different and it is valid for survivors and specialists to acknowledge this.

Thank you for sharing, your experience matters.

[surviving-narcissistic-abuse]

The only people who would ever imply anyone, but especially a child, had any personal blame in being abused is an abuser.

Now why would an abuser have an interest in pretending narcissistic abuse isn't real? It's such a mystery, truly!

[nothing0fnothing]

Abusers hate that we are a community. That we lift each other up and we help each other recover. They hate that together we can spot patterns so that individually we can deny would-be abusers the chance to harm us in the future. They hate that we share resources like studies and guides and personal experiences.

They see it, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. And instead of looking inward into why a community of (mostly) women survivors thriving after abuse, makes them feel uncomfortable, they assume it's because we are victimising them.

Some people are just allergic to introspection and personal growth.

[aftonsreprise]

It takes abusing someone to make someone an abuser, by the way. Not disagreeing with you and your mutuals on fucking Tumblr.

Again, I’m not saying you’re lying about being abused, or that you are to blame for being abused, but you are presenting yourself as unreliable by the way you are arguing (misinterpreting me, and implying I am abusive), and you can not act shocked if people do discredit you on the whole due to this.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[aftonsreprise]

Show me where I said that they deserved the abuse, past or present. I critiqued the label they chose in reference to the abuse. I never said that your abuse was not real or that your abusers do not have NPD. I never said that you deserved abuse or could have prevented it. I also never said that an abuser should be protected simply because they have NPD.

This has nothing to do with age either... I wholeheartedly believe that some adults can be more innocent than some children in this regard, but I digress…

If you want to present yourself as a real abuse victim, maybe don’t lie about people saying you were asking about it when the receipts are right there, and I did nothing of the sort.

I have no reason to not believe that you were a victim of abuse at the hands of someone with NPD. However, I also have no reason to believe that this abuse was unique specifically due to your abuser’s NPD or that it should be labelled as a direct consequence of the condition.

It’s very ironic that you take issue with this statement as someone with BPD. Go look through r/BPDlovedones. See if the way they frame their own issues with their abusers as a result of the disorder you have seems fair to you. Consider whether or not you think their manipulation tactics are unique to those with trauma responses comparable to yours. Think about whether or not you would want to be grouped in with that and have articles about how to trigger you circulate online and then be excused by the hypothetical issue of “borderline abuse”.

You are the narcissist’s more erratic cousin. Perhaps that is how they knew exactly how to play you.

[veganspaghettios]

"you don't want to accept any personal blame" - that's the exact line putting the blame on @nothing0fnothing you know it

But the fact you add that you somehow think an adult could be more innocent than a child? Vomit. Tell me less

I'll absolutely be the first person to demand accountability from BPD people. I had to remove myself from the support groups FOR people WITH BPD because it's filled with people refusing to accept they hurt or abused someone. I absolutely am part of the club of people that would be considered NPD's erratic cousin. Thankfully I'm a self aware person and have done the work to learn coping methods and I function like an adult that understands actions have consequences. The NPD community could learn more.

But honestly? I think Tumblr's version of that is a bunch of edgy youths that think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder. The real self-labelled Narcissists are making videos on how to do the work and do better as a person - not blaming victims.

[aftonsreprise]

I don’t give a fuck about Tumblr users that “think being hurt and not wanting to open up anymore is a full blown disorder”, but you’re wrong if you think that that the “real” narcissists are the ones posting about how to improve. There are serial killers who have been diagnosed with NPD, and there are decent people who have been diagnosed with NPD.

I have a diagnosed personality disorder (not NPD), and I base my knowledge of narcissists based on the diagnostic criteria of narcissism and what has been found to be true of narcissists. Not on Tumblr, and certainly not on anyone self-diagnosing NPD here to come across as edgy (In fact, I would hate to be thought of as edgy.)

You admit that there are people with BPD who have been abusive and refuse to take responsibility. This is what you accuse people with NPD of doing. It is easy to extrapolate the BPD-connected “motivations” those people may have for their abuse. So, by your own logic, yes, “borderline abuse” should be an accepted form of abuse in the same way “narcissistic abuse” is?

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[nothing0fnothing]

Narcissistic abuse is perpetuated for a different purpose, enacted in a different manner and has different effects on the people who survive it than non narcissistic abuse. In every way it is different and it is valid for survivors and specialists to acknowledge this.

Thank you for sharing, your experience matters.

[aftonsreprise]

How so? You can’t just say things and have them be true.

Do you believe that the same can be said for those with borderline personality disorder? Dahmer cited his fear of abandonment as a murder motive.

Do you believe that “autistic abuse” should be a proposed abuse category, should someone feel as if their abuser’s poor social skills ever negatively impacted their relationship?

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[veganspaghettios]

It's really fucked up especially because the person @aftonsreprise responded to has a blog dedicated to CHILDHOOD ABUSE. Interesting. I would really like to know what blame @nothing0fnothing should have taken in any scenario as a goddamn child.

For the original post, no, that's not the effects of just "abuse". I've had 4 abusive relationships. My personality disorder (BPD) has tended in the past to lead me to destructive connections. Women that look like they would beat my ass were usually my type, and that's not a joke. It's based on the fact that the first women I fell for liked to physically hurt me while feeling me up. And still! The 3 people prior to the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder did not cause me nearly the stress and trauma after leaving. In fact, two abusive relationships had almost no more effect than "thank God I'm finally free". It's been 4 years and I still struggle with the effects of the last relationship because she psychologically, physically, sexually, and emotionally tortured me. Because of her past trauma, of course, but she should still rot for it.

[aftonsreprise]

Show me where I said that they deserved the abuse, past or present. I critiqued the label they chose in reference to the abuse. I never said that your abuse was not real or that your abusers do not have NPD. I never said that you deserved abuse or could have prevented it. I also never said that an abuser should be protected simply because they have NPD.

This has nothing to do with age either... I wholeheartedly believe that some adults can be more innocent than some children in this regard, but I digress…

If you want to present yourself as a real abuse victim, maybe don’t lie about people saying you were asking about it when the receipts are right there, and I did nothing of the sort.

I have no reason to not believe that you were a victim of abuse at the hands of someone with NPD. However, I also have no reason to believe that this abuse was unique specifically due to your abuser’s NPD or that it should be labelled as a direct consequence of the condition.

It’s very ironic that you take issue with this statement as someone with BPD. Go look through r/BPDlovedones. See if the way they frame their own issues with their abusers as a result of the disorder you have seems fair to you. Consider whether or not you think their manipulation tactics are unique to those with trauma responses comparable to yours. Think about whether or not you would want to be grouped in with that and have articles about how to trigger you circulate online and then be excused by the hypothetical issue of “borderline abuse”.

You are the narcissist’s more erratic cousin. Perhaps that is how they knew exactly how to play you.

[aftonsreprise]

…So just the effects of abuse?

So… JUST ABUSE?

[nothing0fnothing]

It's almost like we classify types of abuse for a reason.

[aftonsreprise]

Yes, because physical and mental abuse are distinctly different, but like I’ve already shown, “narcissistic” abuse is not. Ironically, you just want to be special and set yourself apart from fellow victims of abuse. You also likely seek comfort in the idea that your abuser was innately flawed because you don’t want to accept any personal blame (rightly or wrongly, depending on the validity of the abuse allegations in question.)

How narcissistic of you…

[nothing0fnothing]

"Narcissistic abuse isn't real because victims are to blame"

Ohwow.

[aftonsreprise]

I never said that the abuse wasn’t real or that you are to blame for the abuse though.

Implying otherwise is only making yourself look disingenuous.