Resurgence
I’m a christian. I experience ups and down in my christian walk. I always ask myself; Who am I?, Am I really saved?, Why I’m still doing thing that doesn’t give glory to God? Why I’m feel condemned? Why I feel tired trying to keep the fire in my heart burning? Why I always experience trials? Why I get hurt by people around me? Why I stuck of things that I should not do?. I was so devastated. My faith was tested. Testing comes in my way especially in my office, how I deal people, how I react in different situation, how my lips whisper words.
There was a youth camp in our church. At first, I hesitate to come because of my behavior, but as I experience difficulties, instead of condemning myself, putting myself away to God, I hold on to God’s promises. I saying to myself that God pick me by his hands, God will never condemn me, He is patiently waiting for me to change in different areas of my life, he is a gentleman God. I realized that all my questions are just lie of the enemy to deceive me in my christian walk. One month before the camp day, I decided to go to camp,whatever I’m facing that moment, no matter what it cause. I don’t want to miss what God can do for me to be revive.
Before I go to camp, I set some preparations. I ask God for forgiveness, for cleansing, and prepare me for what he’s been doing. One week before the camp I decide to have a fasting, instead of eating my lunch in the office cafeteria and have some chi-chat to my officemates, I decided to pray not just for me but for the youth who been joining.
Here am I, writing a testimony about my resurgence experience.Resurgence, according to Ms.Miriam Webster, a rising again into life.
DAY 1: THE PURPOSE
On this day, I feel so nervous but at the same time I feel so excited. I don’t know why. First session: Returning to your first love. My goodness, I get teary eyed. My heart was beat so fast. I couldn’t contain. He reminds me that I should go back when the time that I started to fall in love to Jesus, the moment that I decided to follow Christ. I was reminded that I was side track of different things but forget who am I living for. That moment, when my tears flowing down on my face, I was feel the love and embrace of God that He is comforting me. He said to me,”I know what is getting into, but I called you”. I feel that Im forgiven. Second Session: Vessel of Honor. As I was revived from my failures, from going back to my first love. I was reminded of this session. What vessel am I? What I’ve been filling in? Does my actions glorifying God? As I realized that I’m not a good vessel, I said to God, I fill myself of so much garbage but here am I, make me as your good vessel, make me empty again so you can fill me up. God make me broken again so you make me a new one. Though I miss the last two session of Day 1, the failing of the grace of God and the orphan spirit, God never fail to let me experience his presence on that session. I had a chance to talk of my co-leader who been joining on the orphan spirit session and I ask her, what does the topic all about. Then I get some of it and I know that is for me. She said that you don’t need any position or authority to see your worth of this world. You are a child of God. I know and I know that it is for me because I have a baggage in my heart about promotion in my office but then unfortunately I was not promoted because the management is putting their favorite associate, but as I heard those words, I was relive. I was amazed to God that he use a person for me to hear that message. Thank God. Late afternoon, I saw this.
I’m so in love with clouds. I’m so attach of it. So I always look up to see the clouds. When you look at in the actual, it looks like a clouds with the fire. I ask God whats on it? What do you want me to see.
After dinner, there will be an after glow worship and that was so awesome. People are getting crazy for Jesus. The fire I saw on the clouds I saw on the worship night, the fire of ever heart of a young people who are so in love on Christ. Like what I saw, I also experience his love and grace. The fire in my heart was fan again.
Youth are willing to testify what God has been doing to them after the worship night.
Day 1 Lights off. A wonderful start.– Day 2 : TO BE CONTINUE.
A testimony of a youth who been experience a revivalof her christian walk.
