Cali

I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself King of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

I don’t know what to reply to this Agent California, except to say that you don’t have to ‘justify’ anything to me. I am only your peer- but if you feel the need to justify your actions out of guilt, then perhaps your time is better spent apologizing to Command?

You are also correct. That is a good lesson for new recruits to learn.

Wait back the truck up, How do you know I’ve even broken any rules? You been following me Egon? I’m gonna have to start singing that ‘feels like somebody’s watchin me’ song when I see your ass around. Plus I haven’t stole anything from you yet so don’t even worry about it. Speaking of, where the hell were you before here and how the fuck did you get here? Secondzies, how many times a day do you clean your gun? 

[agentcalical]

the-agt-maine :

“I don’t really have a story, really. Not about the fourth, or fireworks.. But, there was this one time I was stationed on this planet in the Outer Colonies, Maxus IV. There was a Covie attack… One of their command ships tried to flee orbit, but this was when we really got good at using our MAC guns. So, it got hit bad and listed and got sucked into the orbit. So, it’s falling down planetside, and the alien fucks decided that the best thing to do was to try to escape into slip-space mid-atmosphere. So the ship if falling down, burning up as it does so, and it tries to jump into slipspace…and their core fails. It was the largest, deadliest, and most mesmerizing explosion I’ve ever seen… The sight of it was almost burned into our eyes for at least a week afterwards…” He opened up another beer,”Never saw anything quite like it again.”

Cali was like a kid at his first movie riveted as he listened to Maine’s story. It was a legendary one that blew Cali’s to hell. He knew of Maxus IV and of that explosion. It had passed through his planet. Outer colonies were getting glassed and the UNSC seemed to get involved when it had skin in the game and let the others fend for themselves. News traveled fast at that time be it good or otherwise. Cali didn’t know if the shit about the UNSC was true or not, he wasn’t the type to dwell on that kind of shit. Instead he took action and joined the UNSC. Then he move up in rank until he was calling the shots and could be the one to stop his home from getting glassed. Well that was why he had joined. How the hell he got into project freelancer he still wasn’t sure. Maybe to test himself, see if he was as good as he thought he was. “Sounds epic. So you were stationed on the outer colonies? What did ya think?” He curious because the outer colonies had a reputation for insurrectionists, he was from the outer colonies, and his immediate family were all innies, save for his father who died when he was much younger in a mining accident. 

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

Yes, I know every rule on the Mother of Invention, Agent California, you’re supposed to know the rules before you join. That’s why they send you the Project Guidelines. But again, yes, I know all the rules. If you do not, I can arrange some time to meet with you to teach you about them. And point out all the rules you’ve broken that I’ve observed since you’ve been stationed here.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Of course you know every rule. And fuck that. Guidelines. Guidelines aren’t rules they’re guidelines so I don’t really have to follow them, therefore I’ve broke none. And don’t bring up the pillow in the rec room. That shit was on fire when I got in there. I was trying to put it out when I whacked that grunt with it. Fucking grunt half walked into it. That might have been one rule I broke, accidentally of course. If anything it was a good lesson in safety. Don’t walk into a room without first surveying it. 

[agentcalical]

the-agt-maine :

“I’m a big fan of instant gratification, so the best that’s left is a couple ‘ONI-Eagle Showers’ or maybe a ‘Covie-Buster’.” Maine slid them and the lighter over to Cali as he downed the rest of his beer,”Go ahead and light ‘em up if you want.”

Maine eyed the other agent, passively. He wasn’t the type to start conversation, but there was something about fireworks and beer that made him ever just more open to meaningless conversation,”So, you got a story? A patriotic story, or stupid fourth story?”

“Covie-Buster, I fuckin love those.” Cali said snatching the lighter and the fireworks. He checked them both out and went back and forth on what to light off first. Honestly he was just happy to be this close to Maine and not getting his ass kicked. Maine wasn’t known for his hospitality to anyone. 

“I got all kinds of stories yo.” Cali smiling wide. “This was a few years back during the war. I was stationed on the Independence, aptly fuckin named right? But yeah I didn’t even know what the fuck the fourth was then havin come from the outter colonies and havin an overprotective mom. So I never handled them, didn’t really know what they were or how they worked. Course we’re drinkin cause how the fuck can you have fireworks without alcohol.” Cali said drinking his beer for effect. “You know this rule. Anyway, dude that’s got the fireworks hands some out to everyone. I got a one of these.” He holds up the Covie-Buster. “And some bottle rockets. I’m excited as fuck cause I have no idea what any of this shit does, but everyone seems excited and who wouldn’t be for explosives. We head to the hanger and I’m thinkin we’re gonna light these fuckers off in there, but dude has this grand idea of going down to the planet we’re orbiting since we got leave for the Holiday. Now I just want to preface this with, if we’re going down to a planet then give me fireworks once we’re on ground not before. I’m an intuitive motherfucker. Specially with weapons. Don’t give me shit and leave me alone with it assuming I know what the fuck is going on. This time, I totally didn’t. So we get on the drop ship and start headin down to the planet. I got a lighter on me and find the wick to light. In my defense I had no clue what this thing was gonna do, everyone around me did though and started screamin at me once they heard the thing light to put it out. Shit startled me so I dropped the damn thing. Two other dudes tried to pick it up, but drunk asses just kicked it into the cockpit. Yeah so the thing goes off in the fuckin cockpit. Lets just say, it wasn’t pretty. Positive note. No one died. Negative note, drop ship crashed, few injuries, and my ass barred from any kind of explosives for like a fucking decade. Now you can see why I”m so happy to be handlin one a these again.” Cali was smiling from near ear to ear. “What about you? You got any stories?”

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

Being caught with contraband doesn’t sound fun to me, Agent California. And how many ‘friendly relationships’ I had as a juvenile matters little. I doubt you and I would have been ‘friends’ if I hadn’t reported the sparklers, so I don’t currently see any reason why I shouldn’t have.

Besides, in that scenario I didn’t ‘police’ anything. I reported it. You should label me as a ‘Fun Narc’ or ‘Fun Rat’ for full understanding and clarity. It would at least make more sense.

It’s not...did you really just call fucking sparklers contraband? Fuckin killin me smalls. And you’re only sayin it doesn’t matter cause you didn’t have any friends when you were younger. We might have been friends if you didn’t report them, but we’ll never know cause you reported them.

......Did you just...you just...[Cali ran a hand over his face shaking his head from side to side] I can’t even with you Egon. You’re...I bet your ass knows every rule on this ship by heart don’t you? Don’t you?

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

I have no idea what you’re talking about, Agent California. I would not take such contraband into my own possession. I simply alerted Command, and they sent a Grunt to come confiscate it and take it away.

If you wish for reimbursement, you could always petition to bill the Project.

Oh my god Oreo. It’s...you didn’t have may friends growing up did you? Cause seriously...seriously. Fun police, that’s what I’m calling you cause if there is any fun your ass is going to police it to death. Sparklers Egon. Sparklers. 

[agentcalical]

the-agt-maine :  

Maine gave Cali an indifferent look as he tossed him a beer,”I don’t know what you’re talking about. I confiscated this contraband off a grunt and am disposing of it.” He took a sip and leaned forward to light another before sliding it away from him. “And I’m not worried about Oregon. He can write me up to the Counselor all he wants. It’d take half a week for the write-up to even reach Command, and by then I’d be on a mission. And really? He found your sparklers? What did you do, hide them in the Mess Hall?”

Cali caught the beer tossed to him. “Oh yeah? Cause putting it out the airlock wouldn’t be disposing of it properly huh?” He mused popping the cap and taking a drink. “You are so full of shit.” But such a badass that Cali didn’t mind he was full of shit. Maine was elite as they came. A bruiser and cutthroat as fuck. He always got the best missions. Cali still on scouting missions or hacks which he could usually do from a distance. “Not that I’m callin you on it. Just an observation. You got anything good in that stash?” 

[the-agt-maine-blog]

Maine grinned as he set off another firework in the training room. He normally wouldn’t have participated in a holiday like this, but he had snatched the fireworks from a grunt on a whim… And it wasn’t the worst holiday to celebrate. He sat back and drank a beer as the firework lit up the normally bland training room in a handful of different colors.

[agentcalical]

Cali had heard the sound of a firework and followed the echo through the ship until he found Maine looking like a hillbilly with his fireworks and beer sitting in the training room. He pointed at the man winding up. “Oooo, yer a be in so much trouble. You know the fun police or Oreo, er Oregon, Oragon? Oragen? Whatever the fuck. Dude is gonna flip shit he catches you lightin legit fire works off. He was all over my ass for some fuckin sparklers. I’m just sayin, but I’m all for a beer and more explosions. If yer down.”  

[agent-oregon]

Just a reminder: All forms of fireworks are prohibited and extremely dangerous in a pressurized spacecraft.  This warning goes out to whoever hid sparklers in the couch in the ‘Rec Room’.

[agentcalical]

You leave the sparklers in the couch of the rec room? Cause if your ass didn’t you owe me some cash and they’re just sparklers. It’s not like I’m lighting off legit fireworks. 

[agentcalical]

ghxstthatlingers :

This was too damn much. No longer feeling that he was adorable in any capacity, she grabbed him by the back of the neck and pinned him against the wall. “Sexual harassment of your fellow agents? You know can be reported for that.” Not that she was inclined to go through official channels for something like this–she could handle herself quite well, thanks.

“I”d let you report me anyway you wanted to.” Cali said where his cheek was resting against the wall. Her grip strong in and out of the armor. She was as badass as everyone thought and somehow that made all the blood drain to the lower brain and along with that went his self-preservation instinct overrun by another more base one. In one swift motion he twisted from her grip and shifted out of her range grinning as hie looked her over once more.  “ That mean I could sexually harass ya if I wasn’t a fellow agent?” 

[agentcalical]

the-agt-maine :

“Some of the members knew me from Command so they picked me up at the start. Made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Besides- I’d gotten bored with ODST by then anyways. If this Project is successful, well, we’ll be the first Freelancers.” He grins darkly,”And I rather like the sound of that.”

“You get hard-on from killing people don’t you? I bet all you watch is war movies and Westerns. Bit of a freak. How’s that workin for you? Sure lady’s love a grade A psychopath.”  

[agentcalical]

agent-nh :

“Woah there Buddy I don’t want to fight with you. I kind of like my arms just the way they are.” He chuckled as he held his hands up. 

“We got a leader board?” He asked raising an eye brow. “So they got us all trying to beat the other up to get higher on a board. Do we win anything for being on the board?” He shrugged and looked down at his data pad “I hope we get snacks, I always like snacks.” Hampshire was grateful that at least another agent understood that he was lost. His only concern was that he felt like there was from trick from pick up on the others sarcasm. He would at least believe his judgement until there was a consequence or truth from it. 

“You might wanna fight with me. Don’t know me well enough to make that call yet.” He mused rocking on his heels. 

“We got a lotta things. Should have gotten lost on a better level and you could have seen some of them. And not that I know of other than the joys of being #1. Depends on how arrogant ya are.” The other grinned. “Yeah I’m sure there’s snacks somewhere. Should ask around. Everyone’s real nice. Maine is a good one to buddy up with. Tell him Cali sent ya. He was looking for a teammate. I’m more of a solo guy otherwise I’d have jumped on with him. Hell of a guy Maine. He’s great at training. Love’s showing new guys the ropes. Bout this time he’s probably in the mess hall. Guys pretty routine. Can take ya too him if you don’t trust finding your way back to the elevator and following my directions. Sure he’ll be fuckin psyched to see a new recruit.” 

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

“…You’re last partner hated you? Or- killed you?” Perhaps California was more damaged than initially suspected. “That is very…Interesting… Are you ‘high’ or under the effect of some kind of medication right now?” Oregon subtly stepped away. No more nudging. He was glad to not have to engage in more physical contact,”I thought you’re speech patterns were naturally erratic, but it seems that you are under the side-effects of….something.”

“It’s complicated.” Cali said because that’s the only way he could explain it. He’d tried contacting Demp a lot of times but every com came back return to sender. Damn. “Test drug. Help with sleep deprivation. Keeps me up for days and all that. A few side effects I’ve noticed. It’s got some good to it thought. I’ve got a lot of work done I think.” He scratched his head offering the gun to Oregon. “I’m usually not much of a talker or if I do it’s deflecting. For fuck sake, I need to stop talking to you or I’m gonna have to shoot you. Stop asking me questions about serious shit or I’m going to dig into every big of info I can find on you until I got your entire life mapped out to your fucking great grand parents.” Cali muttered unable to stop his mouth from babbling the truth about himself and way too much truth.   

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

“I’m quite sure you’ve learned the same lesson by how ‘poetically’ you put it. But, no. I never had a relationship.” A necessary lie. Smile. Bump elbow to California’s arm. Oh- Not so hard next time. “Emotional investments like relationships take a lot of time and effort which would detract from focusing on other areas of pursuit. I am content to be ‘married to my work’. Research, statistics, training, and investing- those are my companions. I’m sure you are also more inclined to delve deep into hacking and coding then to become emotionally compromised. You probably are open to the idea of sex, but only in the physical release. I’d guess that you’d panic if you realized that you had developed for someone unwittingly.” Observe physical response,”And scared? No- disinterested.”

“Wonder if he knows about him. Dumb ass is In love with a dude that hates you. Wasn’t for that socket backfiring I’d be dead from the last time he tried and successfully killed me for seven minutes.  That makes me lucky or cursed? Maybe both. Probably both. Fuck I’m saying this out loud aren’t I? Yeah his face says I am. Stop thinking.” God damn side effects of that stupid ass test medication. 

“Well there’s that. I’d love, fuckin love, to get emotionally invested in someone else. Seems I got a type and ain’t found anyone to make me hate myself as much as dude can. Love being miserable, why do you think I joined this project and signed up for all those fancy test projects and you nudge my arm again I’m gonna break yours.” He said with a smile and a laugh it hard to tell if he was joking or being sarcastic. 

[agentcalical]

the-agt-maine :

“One time is was me versus four Brutes. I gotta say- Love their rifles. They’re bones break if you hit them just right.” He sighs calmly and eats more food,”Why’d you join the Project? Get bored?”

“I got asked.” Cali said and it was as deep as he was going to get on the subject. It wasn’t that simple, but either was anything about Maine, though he played it out to be a simple thug at times. Cali knew thugs and Maine wasn’t one. An asshole sure, but hat was standard project requirements. “What about you?”

[agentcalical]

agent-oregon :

“Considering I tolerate you quite well, I’d say we were ‘getting along’ right now. One just has to ignore every other sentence you say, and then you are tolerable.” Smirk. Chuckle lightly. “Frankly, I don’t see myself engaging in sexual relations with either- or intimate relations for that matter. Especially not during my career. Engaging in such an emotional investment- well, it’s illogical and unfeasible for our careers. It’d make things messy.”

“You anticipating we won’t since we are getting along ‘right now?’” He queried and frowned when the other mentioned ignoring half the shit he said. “Sex is sex Egon. It’s a natural thing. Shouldn’t be so scared of it or your own feelings. Don’t say you aren’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t be makin excuses and usin your work as an out to keep everyone at arms length. Sounds to me like yer too scared to let anyone in. Girl chap your ass? Break your heart or someshit? Not that I’m judging. It’s alright to be scared of other people. Most of them are assholes. Teach you a bit of something and then take off with some piece of you that you didn’t know they had till they were gone. So you stop given any piece of yourself and you make god damn sure no one can steal it. Safe I suppose.” 

[agentcalical]

agent-nh :

“If I’m Captain Obvious does that make me a higher ranking a official with even more pay? Because if so I will gladly continue with the stupid thing.” He laughed and nudging the others arm lightly. 

“I can be devious when I want to be, that’s if people are willing to look the other way. But I would rather like to not get fired on the first couples hours of being here. So far I kind of yah now, like this job. Really appreciate you telling me where I have to go by the way.” 

“Sure it does. Whatever you want Captain.” Cali gave a mock salute before he was nudged. He looked the other over. “Careful newb. Bump me like that again I might take your arm.” He winked. 

“This isn’t the kinda place people look the other way. Better get good at hiding your deviousness. Eyes are always on ya, watchin, waitin for you to fuck up. Team with a leader board means we’re always competing. Friendly competition, cept for us devious lot. Can’t figure out how to fight fair.” He grinned. “No problem at all friend. Always glad to help.” Cali’s directions would lead the other freelancer right to the main deck and if he timed it right it would be about the time the Counselor and the Director would be making their normal rounds, which really the other agent should thank him for the face time he was getting with the higher ups.