🫀🖤

Love the rhythm, crave the pause, worship the restart.

[loudheartbeat89]

The Bionic Heart Update 🛠️🤖

The saga continues: my ECG machine is still apparently socializing at the border, and my nerves are officially frayed. But because I cannot be stopped, I went ahead and bought a proper, manufactured stethoscope mic to replace my trusty, cheap DIY version. 🩺

​The verdict? Well, it’s loud. It definitely works. But it turns out my pump sounds less like flesh and blood and more like a finely tuned piece of German engineering. A bit mechanical, huh? Maybe I should have spent even more money on a high-end model... but unfortunately, I only look like a million bucks, I don't actually own them. 💸🤡

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On the bright side, I managed to capture a rather intimate little recording of my carotid artery. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing... 😉

​Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a TV doctor and a massive bowl of popcorn. 🍿 ​Love & Kisses 🩷

[loudheartbeat89]

Roxie’s Weekend Tease: Sticky Pads & Triple Digits 📈❤️

The ultimate mail day was cruelly cut in half—the actual ECG monitor is stuck at the border! But a true cardiophile doesn't let a pile of fresh electrode pads sit idle. I went ahead and stickered up, even if my placement is a bit chaotic from the pure adrenaline of opening the box. 📦

​Luckily, the pulse ox arrived safely to prove that Roxie is putting on a show, keeping the pace steady in the low 100s.

​Send some good vibes to the postal service so my needy heart can get fully wired up next week!🍀🤞🏼 Have a lovely weekend! 🩷

[loudheartbeat89]

Summer goth season has officially started... and well, my pale skin and the urge to wear black are not the best friends with these current temperatures. ☀️🖤

​Roxie and I are doing good, but we thought you might want to take a quick, close-up listen to the tempo shift anyway. I went ahead and subtitled my inner monologue this time... for, well, atmosphere. 🎬🧠

So just look into my eyes and say my name. Slowly.

​Hope you're all doing good and have a beautiful start into the week! 🎧🩷🦇

[loudheartbeat89]

​I already shared this with a few of you privately, but life has been so hectic lately that I haven’t had the time—or the creative muse (yes, it happens even to me 💔)—to film something completely brand new. So, I was digging through my camera roll tonight and stumbled across this old favorite. I ended up completely hypnotized watching the steady jump of my own pulse against my neck, and I knew it was far too good not to share with the rest of the world.

Lose yourself in the rhythm for a moment, enjoy the visual cadence as much as I did, and have a wonderful, relaxing Saturday evening everyone! 🩷✨

[loudheartbeat89]

Hello I love your passion for heartbeats!💗Your content is amazing 🤩 I want to ask if by any chance we get to see you take your bp the manual way 👀 I wish you a great day 😊

Thank you so much for the incredibly sweet feedback! Knowing you all love my passion for these rhythms makes creating content so rewarding. 🩵

​To answer your question: I actually don't own a manual blood pressure cuff at the moment! I can absolutely do a video measuring it with my digital machine soon... but to tease you all just a little bit: I actually just ordered a few brand-new clinical toys for myself and Roxie. I'm highly confident every single one of you will profit from my latest purchases. 😉📈

​The manual cuff wasn't originally in my shopping cart, but hey—one more toy to play with and experiment with? Why the hell not! It’s officially on the wishlist. 🛒🩺

​Please never hold back with your ideas, prompts, and wishes. Have a beautiful rest of your day, everyone! 🌊🥁✨

[loudheartbeat89]

Talk about a testing Tuesday. I just survived a marathon day that included trying to maintain a completely blank, professional straight face while a very handsome doctor talked to me—practically hypnotizing me with his stethoscope—only to get stuck in the underground for a solid thirty minutes right after. 🚇🫠

But the absolute cherry on top of this chaotic shift? Watching how the body reacts to a sudden change in posture and this lovely summer humidity. I was lying completely horizontal just moments before this, and now we are vertical. Well, technically slightly leaned forward, just to get you all as close to the pump as possible. 😉

​Enjoy the curly mess of my hair (courtesy of the train sweat and weather) and the beautifully erratic, changing speeds of my rhythm tonight.

​Stay cool, peeps! 🎧🫀🌿

[loudheartbeat89]

Noir: Shadow Work 🖤🎞️

The rain outside was relentless, blurring the city lights into streaks of neon amber, but inside, the frame was perfectly clear. He didn’t need the window tonight. He was already inside the apartment, sitting in the deep velvet armchair positioned just far enough in the shadows of her bedroom to watch her step out of the shower.

​She stood before the vanity mirror, completely unaware—or perhaps entirely aware—of his gaze. Her skin was flushed pale pink from the heat, damp curls clinging to her neck. He watched the deliberate, intoxicating ritual she performed every night. She didn't reach for lotion or perfume. Instead, she tilted her chin up, closed her eyes, and slid two dark-nailed fingers deep into the hollow of her throat.

​From across the dim room, he could see it. The violent, rhythmic leap of her carotid artery against her skin. He watched her chest rise and fall, tracking the heavy, visible tremor right over her breastbone as her heart strained under the pressure of her own thumb. He could have sat there for hours, purely intoxicated by the raw mechanics of her life force moving so beautifully, so frantically, beneath her velvet skin.

​She caught his eyes in the mirror, her hand freezing over her collarbone. A subtle tremor ran down her spine.

​"You're quiet tonight," she murmured, her voice a soft, breathless friction in the quiet room. She turned around slowly, gripping the edges of her black lace robe, trying to play it cool despite the sudden, erratic spike in her breathing. "Are you just going to sit there?"

​He rose from the shadows, the low light catching the sharp silhouette of his jaw. He didn't answer until he crossed the hardwood floor, stopping so close she could feel the cold air clinging to his dark coat. From his pocket, he slowly drew a heavy, clinical stethoscope, the polished chrome bell catching the amber glow of the bedside lamp.

​Her breath completely hitched. Her eyes tracked the silver metal, and he watched a heavy wave of blood rush up her throat, her pulse practically hammering against her skin now.

​"I'm going to do what I came here to do," he whispered, his voice low, dominant, and entirely devoid of hesitation.

​He didn't wait for permission. He stepped into her space, his left hand sliding behind her neck, his thumb pressing firmly over her carotid artery—not to check it, but to trap it. He felt the fierce, desperate force of her blood pressure surging violently under his skin. With his other hand, he guided the ice-cold metal chestpiece directly onto her bare breast, burying it against her skin.

​She gasped at the freezing contrast, her knees instantly giving in, but his grip on her neck kept her anchored right where he wanted her.

​Through the earpieces, her heart wasn't just beating; it was a frantic, slamming outburst of adrenaline and surrender. A hard, thudding cadence that filled his entire head.

​He leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of her ear, his thumb shifting to press even deeper into the pounding pulse point on her neck.

​"Look at me," he commanded softly, watching her chest heave against the heavy silver bell. "Listen to how loud you are for me. From this second on... I own every single pause, and every single beat."

[loudheartbeat89]

Some people pour a glass of wine to decompress; I just grab my stethoscope and check my neck. Constant pulse tracking might be an odd hobby, but even when life forces me to act like a functional adult, I’m allowed to indulge in the cold, therapeutic metal of my favorite accessory.🩺💎

The rule is simple: always stay playful! 🃏

Since you’ve seen the vitals check, I’m certain you want to know what Roxie felt like under my fingertips. Crank the volume up for the audio track at the very end and find out. Happy evening, peeps! 🎧🫀

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[loudheartbeat89]

Caught the early morning light today and thought I’d let you listen in before I finally get dressed and head into my day. ☀️

Nothing too fancy or special here—just a raw look at my pump after a morning double espresso successfully woke her up from her sleepy baseline. Roxie is running hot, the audio is crisp, and we are officially ready for Tuesday. ☕️🫀

​Put your headphones on for this one, and hope you all have an amazing start to your day, peeps! 🎧💋

[loudheartbeat89]

After an honestly very cursed week, Roxie is hitting me with a sudden tachycardic outburst, her rhythm caught up in quick waves of anxiety mixed with the sheer noise of the week. She’s completely feeling the emotional exhaustion, the terrible sleep, and a very odd, vivid dream about a jester... please don't ask, by the way. 🎪 The only thing currently keeping me going is knowing WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is on tonight. Look, I’m really not much of a drinker, but after a week like this? Just pass me the Tequila and let me watch giant men slam each other around in peace. 🥃🤼‍♂️ Enjoy watching these slamming fast beats!

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone, and hopefully less weird dreams than me! 🫀📺

[loudheartbeat89]

Acoustics: 10/10. 🩺

Cadence: Flawless. ✨

My ability to look normal while tracking my own valve closure? Questionable at best. 👽🛸

Let’s just focus on the sound tonight, shall we? Turn it up and let me know how her rhythm hits your speakers. ♥️

[loudheartbeat89]

Home, Sweatpants, & Heartbeats 🛋️✨

Finally home after a marathon shift, and yes—I am currently standing in my wonderfully, shamelessly messy closet. 🚪🤫

​There is absolutely no better feeling than stripping off the 'uniform' and freeing the girls from their daily prison sentence... well, okay, maybe one better feeling. Dropping a stethoscope onto my chest and listening to my sweet Roxie do her thing.

​She’s a little too relaxed right now, so I think I’ll have to tease her a bit to get those RPMs up. Though, to be completely honest, I wish someone else was doing the teasing for me. There is just something entirely irreplaceable about a solid, heavy, manly hand pressing down over a raging heart, isn't there?

​Until that hand gets here, it’s just me, my oversized comfy clothes, and a very happy evening cadence. Have a gorgeous night, everyone!🌙

[loudheartbeat89]

Under My Ribs 💌

There are loves that arrive loudly,

with fireworks and slammed doors,

with trembling hands and promises

that dissolve by morning.

But this—

this was born before language.

Before I knew grief.

Before desire had a name.

Before I understood loneliness

or the terrible shape of growing older.

There was only the pulse.

Small.

Relentless.

Sacred.

A rhythm living beneath my ribs

like a secret animal

that never once abandoned me.

And God, how I loved it.

The first time cold metal touched my skin,

I thought:

so this is what holiness feels like.

The stethoscope against my chest,

silver and winter-cold,

and suddenly my body was no longer silent.

It spoke.

Raw.

Unfiltered.

Without performance.

Without shame.

No polished language.

No lies.

Only the wet thunder of survival.

lub-dub.

lub-dub.

lub-dub.

The most honest thing I have ever heard.

People speak of souls

as if they float somewhere distant,

ethereal and untouchable.

Mine lives here—

inside muscle and electricity,

inside rushing blood,

inside breath dragged deep into aching lungs.

I have spent years listening.

To the quickened rhythm of longing.

To skipped beats in the dark.

To the beautiful violence of panic and desire.

To the slow settling hush

when I finally feel safe enough

to exhale.

And breath—

sweet God, the breath.

The inhale that opens me.

The exhale that empties me clean.

The fragile rise of my chest at 3 a.m.

proving I am still here.

Still alive.

Still becoming.

There were years when everything changed.

Faces.

Homes.

Bodies.

Versions of myself I barely recognize now.

But never this.

Never the pulse waiting faithfully beneath my fingertips.

Never the breath returning after every sorrow.

Never the heart, stubborn and glowing in the dark,

beating through every ruin like a promise.

I do not want perfection.

I do not want silence.

I do not want stillness.

I want the sound.

I want the racing heartbeat beneath cold metal.

I want the trembling inhale.

I want the ache, the pressure, the rhythm.

I want the proof.

Because to be listened to—

truly listened to—

is the closest thing to love

I have ever known.

- Brina

[loudheartbeat89]

Raw, Wild, & Restless 🫀

Heading into the long weekend like… well, like this. While the rest of the world is planning brunches, I’m hiding in my own world where The Sopranos is always on and the Undertaker is still active. 📺💀

​I took a few breath-holds for fun (if you’re a cardiophile, you get it; if not, don’t ask), and Roxie absolutely lost her mind. There was a split second where I thought the lights might actually go out—a different kind of high entirely.⚡️

​This is the most "me" you’ll get: hair slicked back, wrestling shirt, and makeup I painted on at 6:00 AM. No blurs, no face-cuts, no aesthetic filters. Just the artist behind the art, shaking in her living room.

​Just Sabrina, Brina, Brie… whatever you want to call me. This is the rhythm that runs the show.

​Happy long weekend, my loves. Stay breathless. 🗝️🩸

[loudheartbeat89]

Monday Night: The Decompression 🩺🎞️

Roxie and I have officially clocked out. It’s been a long, relentless Monday, and we’ve decided we’ve earned the right to put our feet up and just... listen.

​She’s feeling surprisingly relaxed right now—slow, steady, and deep. But the night is young. We’re about to put on my favorite movie, Flatliners, and see if we can’t tease that pulse back up into something a little more... dramatic. 🍿⚡️

​There’s nothing like a bit of cinematic heart peril to get the adrenaline humming again, right?

​Hope you all survived your start to the week! How’s your rhythm holding up tonight? 🌙🫀

[loudheartbeat89]

Look what arrived in the mail today. 💌

Two new beauties to add to the collection, and Roxie is already absolutely obsessed.

​There’s a certain thrill in the upgrade—the cold, professional weight of a new diaphragm resting exactly where the rhythm is strongest. 🩺✨ Watch the way she reacts to the pressure; she isn't just beating, she’s practically reaching out to meet the steel.

​It turns out Roxie is a bit of a show-off when she knows she’s being listened to through high-definition glass. The staccato is sharper, the thud is deeper, and the vibration is undeniable.

​I think we’re going to spend a lot of time getting reacquainted today. Just me, my new instruments, and a heart that refuses to be quiet. 🗝️🌑

​I am not the cage. I am the bird beating against the bone.

[loudheartbeat89]

Self-preservation is a hell of a drug. 💉 Watching Roxie go still just to feel the violence of the jumpstart. There is nothing more sensual than the first ragged breath after a felt lifetime of silence. 🫁✨ My hands, my rhythm, my rules. But I’m always keeping the seat warm for my favorite medic... 🩺💋