Director of C.A.W

How did you find this place?

[agentsofcaw]

Post 348: Test Concluded

We have reached the 1 year mark for the C.A.W agency posting daily reports. We have gather much information, and we wanted to thank all our agents here for taking part and enjoying the various reports we have given during the year. So we say this was a heavy heart that, our 1 year test here has finally concluded. With this conclusion, daily posts won’t be happening anymore, and this page here will go on a hiatus. The board doesn't know when we might return to this, but they also wanted to thank all of our agents located here.

I to wanted to thank all of you. It has been an interesting year, typing up all these reports, and sending them out to your viewing pleasure. I won’t say this will be permanent, but until the board has decided, this is good bye for now. I personally thank all agents for their hard work, and hopefully we will see each other again.

Director of C.A.W

Logging off...

[agentsofcaw]

Post 347: Organization

We have just finished the new organization system that all teams will need to follow from now on. The old system involved using various methods, and none of the groups worked together to make a viable system for the entire HQ. Today, that stops, and the board is now issuing a standard way of organizing all reports, files, and projects, in a neat fashion that allows new agents joining a project knowledge of where everything is. We understand that there would probably be some frustration in getting use to the new system, but the board decided this was the best for new agents and agents that go to various projects. If you need more help on the new organization method, please contact your project manager in how it should be done.

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 346: C.A.W HQ, part 2nd

Starting from where we left off yesterday, “Hat Kid” was trapped in a cage in what seems to have been a storage room, instead of an actual prison cell. Because of this, “Hat Kid” was able to use their laser badge, and break the part on the wall that was holding the cage in the air. After it fell, it broke upon impact, allowing them to explore the rest of the facility. After some slight platforming, they were able to get into a vent just in time for an agent to walk in to check on “Hat Kid”. They discovered the broken cage, and put the facility on alert. This forced “Hat Kid” to explore multiple rooms, pulling various levers to open a door that leads further inside.

The hallway was covered in various lasers that causes anyone to touch them to burst into flames. After navigating the hallway, they were lead into the security vault that contained the  ████ █████. They needed to first find a way into the vault. After they found their entrance, they needed to then platform and stealth their way though the various lasers in the area. After going though about 4-5 levels of various laser puzzles/traps, they ended up at the bottom, obtaining the  ████ █████. They then needed to get thought the door which was locked by an intelligent AI with a complex password. “Hat Kid” gets lucky on their first attempt, and is able to continue further inside, attempting to find a way out.

They then traveled though more rooms of various boxes and agents walking around, until they got to one of the exits. The exit looked like a hanger door for vehicles or aircrafts to get though. Once they almost reached the exit, it closed, and “Hat Kid” found themselves being chased by 2 unique c.a.w agents. This forced “Hat Kid” to climb the tall hanger, going over tight ropes, platforms, balloons, ect, they were able to get to the roof top construction. This area didn’t contain any agents, and seems to have the construction team on break when they were climbing the various wooden beams and pipes, and solving a few puzzles involving ice and dweller platforms.

After reaching the very top of the construction, there was a zip line that lead off into the sea until “Hat Kid” found themselves on a Deserted Island. This island seemed to have been off their radar somehow, and the island had a dweller as the only other creature there. There was a mention of a reference of some sort, but it flew off into the air, never to be seen again. The Dweller was convinced by “Hat Kid” to set sail back to their family instead of living alone, and “Hat Kid” ended their adventure of the C.A.W base there. This story was quite the complex one, and the board is somewhat honored to have a letter all about the c.a.w agency. However, this still opens up questions on who these “entities” are, and how they know so much about our world. More research will be needed.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 345: C.A.W HQ Found?

Today’s mail room caused some of our security team to go into a panic. A letter titled “ OPERATION: Caw_Base_Infiltration “, was found in the mail room, and our security team more then tripled our defenses in case this was true. Luckily, from reading the letter, and making sure there wasn’t any hidden messages, it looks like this is just an made up account of “Hat Kid” infiltrating the “c.a.w” base, attempting to get a  ████ █████. From the location it gave, to the details of the base and the surrounding area, our analyzers have decided this location is also faked for the sake of a good story.

The story starts off “Hat Kid” starting off at a canyon entrance on a stormy night. From here, they attempt to sneak around the various guards, either going around them, above them, or though secret areas. They use their grappling hook and witch hat to help get around of make entrances for themselves. They eventually get to a bridge that it to well protected from the top. They find themselves going under the bridge, and finding the Conductor. The story says he followed us here after being suspicious, and ending up getting stuck there due to all the guards. Hat Kid then goes though a secret cave that starts under the Bridge.

Inside the cave, “Hat Kid” must use various cherry bombs and dwellers to blow up some of the pipes, to allow more water into the area. After blowing up enough of the pipes, the water will raise high enough to an entrance at the top of the cave. Its good to mention that the Dwellers here to talk to hat kid, and give them clues or information about the area. From out of the cave, “Hat Kid” must venture further onwards, attempting to sneak by more of the guards until they reach a deep ravine with the bridge drawn up. They discover another dweller with a cherry bomb, blowing up a near by tree to make as a bridge. They reach the entrance of the base, and see the  ████ █████ floating above. They then fall for the trap of attempting to grab it, and end up trapped in a similar one when they first met the Snatcher. Various agents appeared and started laughing at them before putting her in a cage in the facility.

Part 2 of this mail will continue tomorrow.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 344: Memory Test

Today’s experiment with the  ████ █████ was to have several test subjects, from agents to various trained animals, and see how much they remembered after sending them back in time. There were various tests from sight, hearing, simple phrases, and other such examples. These tests were to figure out if there was any body sense of idea that couldn’t be remembered due to said experiment.

From the agents, they seem to have been able to recall most memories when asked, giving them a deja vu like feeling for the tests. There was some mistakes in some of the tests, but the researchers feel that this is due to them not having the best of memories. After doing a second round of tests, some of the subjects were able to remember better, making the earlier theory more likely.

For the various trained animals, they seemed to have been able to remember things when a treat was involved, and have been shown to remember things, even when the body itself shouldn’t have been able to remember it. Said test was a smell of something that we have never shown the test subject, but after giving them their first whiff, and then sending them back, they remembered the smell and was able to track it with ease. This helps show that memory seems to be one of the few things that the  ████ █████ can’t seem to alter.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 343: Where is Hat Kid pt. 3

In the coming weeks, we have received another 2 pictures from our mysterious giver. Like all the rest, they have the #whereis, but interesting enough, 1 of these pictures isn’t “Hat Kid”, but “Bow Kid”. This report will briefly describe said pictures.

The first one seems to be taken of “Hat Kid”, who appears to be on some kind of balcony, taken from a floor or so below. Most everything however is green, including the balcony and background, and there seems to be some kind of fountains in the area. So far our researchers have having many issues attempting to find any kind of location that matches this picture.

The second one is one of “Bow Kid” standing in the middle of what seems to be a forest of sorts. The picture is taken above them, only showing them and the ground around them. There are many waist tall plants and white flowers surrounding them. Agents are currently looking though forests, attempting to find any forest that contain these certain plants, and any traces of “Bow Kid” of being there.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 342: Security Safety

This is a PSA to all agents. We will be holding some Security Seminars in the near future due some agents not following security protocols, and performing “unofficial” tests with some of the security measures. Some of the things we will follow our system securities(passwords, logins, ect.) and building security(including door/windows, security locks, building defenses). We have had a few issues with some of the agents “testing” the electric fence outside with various objects. One agent has also been reported to have sustained injuries from said fence. This is a mandatory seminar. If you are unable to arrive at stated times from your project/division manager, please ask them to help get a new time slot made.

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 341: Egg cannons

This report is about the unique type cannon that appears in various areas. These Cannons shoot a unique egg of  various sizes(we have only listed 2, but the researchers think there could be more) that explode on contact with something. These eggs also seem to ignore gravity, allowing for easier targeting. The eggs themselves are black with a yellow zigzag in the middle of it. In some cases, it almost looks like molten rock in the shape of an egg.

These “eggs” have yet to be closely examined due to it being almost impossible to actually obtain one after its been shot. Some of our agents are trying to track down a source of the fire power of these cannons, but haven't come up with anything yet. Our researchers figure they are what the fire crows hatch out of. Some other researchers figure they are just bombs in the shape of eggs, but both sides don’t have any proof of the other. Research is postponed until a sample is able to be retrieved.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 340: Payment Delivered

This is a quick PSA to all the volunteers who decided to take part in the program we listed earlier. All payments have been sent out, and bonuses should start next pay period. We would also like a moment of silence for the volunteers that are no longer with us.

Moment done, and now its back to work everyone. Stay productive!

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 339: Not so lucky

Our agent that were on project “Rainbow Gold” have returned empty handed. Yesterday was Saint Patrick’s day, and we had a team of agents, going over every rainbow in attempts to find the fugitive, Patty McDoodles the Leprechaun, who stole an entire pot of gold and was able to escape by using a rainbow. From some eye witnesses, He was able to escape at the end of a rainbow, and since then there has been no sign of him. This crime took place about 5 years ago, and every year, we send out a team to various rainbows in order to find some clues on what happened to the Leprechaun.

The first year we were able to find traces of some magical substance, leading us to believe he was transported somewhere, but in the following years, the traces of magic seem to have been diminishing. The traces only seem to appear on this day, and its been getting trickier to find a good rainbow. Our researchers investigating the traces of magic claim that it could be an otherworldly type of magic, and the rainbow seems to open a portal for a very short time. We guess that Patty either knew the time or was very lucky and was able to escape this way.

One researcher threw out the idea to use the  ████ █████ in order to reverse time in the area to see if we could open a portal that way. The idea however was rejected by the board, due to misuse of the  ████ █████ and because we don’t know if the power would work due to the work of other magic. For now, Patty is still at large, but one day the C.A.W Agency will capture him.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 338: Tick Tock Goes the Clock Badges

In this weeks Mail report, we will be covering 3 interesting badges that seem to have similar power to the “Time Stop” hat, but are unique in each of their own ways. These Badges are the Broken Clock Badge, Slow Clock Badge, and the Warped Clock Badge.

The First Badge is the Broken Clock Badge. It seems to make everything go at a much quicker pace then normal, except for the user. This badge seems to make things harder for the user to actually do, and seems to be only useful if you want something done faster if you have to wait a longer time. We estimate that it makes things go around 3 times faster then normal.

The Second Badge we will cover is the Slow Clock Badge. It’s similar to the Broken Clock badge, except instead of effecting everything except the user, this only effects the user itself. This badge slows time of the user, making then more at a much slower pace. This include gravity, making them fall at a much slower pace. This makes them a much easier target to attack, but it does allow them to stay in the air for a much longer time.

The Final Badge is the Warped Clock Badge. This badge makes time move only as fast as the user. If the user is standing perfectly still, time will also stand still. If they start sprinting, this makes the world go at a “sprints pace” as it were. This is a tricky badge to counter due to them being able to control time at their speed, allowing them to more easily plan out their next move.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 337: Missing “Pet”

This is a PSA to all agents to keep an eye out for  █████████. It seems to have escaped its holding cell, and it currently on the loose in the HQ. Its deemed mostly harmless unless it feels threatened. Some signs of it being in the area include  ████, ██████████, and █████. Some of its powers also include  ████, ████████████,  ████, and ████████ ████. If you find said subject, or any traces, please let your project managers know, so they can contact our team to attempt to retrieve them. Don’t try to capture them yourself or engage with them. Any agent that does so will be terminated if they survive. Again, please follow the proper procedures and contact your manager if any of the above is found.

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 336: Giant Rolling Meat

Today’s report will be about the meat that can be seen rolling around “Mafia Town”. From what we seen, this hunk of meat seems to either be beef or pork, but we haven't gotten to study it closely yet due to it being rolled around often enough to cause danger to agents that get close. It seems to have been brought overseas, either though trade or theft. The reason they are rolling around on it seems to either them attempting to tenderize it, or attempting to transport it but not being able to get to the area they want. There could be a 3rd reason our researchers didn’t come up with yet, but so far it looks like its one of those 2 reasons. While its just a giant cylinder of meat with bones stick out of the ends, this is still considered to be dangerous due to how fast its moving, the how easily it can crush most people. We speculate this meat is what they use for the HQ above in the sky, but haven't seen them actually transport it there yet.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 335: Pie Day

There will be no report today due to the celebration of Pie Day. We do apologize, but we do invite all agents to celebrate today with various different pies. We brought many different kinds of pies, and will be hosting a pie baking competition. So come on by, and celebrate.

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 334: Volunteers Needed

This is a quick PSA to all agents that some projects need some volunteers for various experiments. These tests can range from very simple things, like an outside perspective on something, to possible danger to life. Volunteers will not have a choice on which project they will be a part of, but instead will be more of a raffle to the agents that accept. Agents that do accept to be a Volunteer will need to fill out some paper work, for legal and medical reasons. After that is said and done, all agents that took part will receive a bonus in the mail of about 5 times their normal pay amount, and will get a 50% increase to their normal paychecks afterwards. We thank all the future Volunteers in advance.

Director of C.A.W

[agentsofcaw]

Post 333: Pipes of the forest

Today’s report will be about the piping system located in the Subcon Forest. The Subcon Forest seems to have been home to a fairly good sized town. This town however seems to have been more advanced then first thought. Thanks to the Toilet’s attack earlier on, we have discovered an advanced system of piping located under the remnants. The piping indicates that the people of the town knew how to easily move water around, and could have actually good plumbing.

An interesting side note is how did an outhouse have access to it thought the green pool beyond the canyon. This does help explain how they had a good fountain that seems to have been fantastic back in its glory days. With such a piping system, some of our researchers are wondering if they had any other great technological advances for its time. More research is being done to help discover the hidden truths.

[agentsofcaw]

Post 332: Scheduled Power Outage

This is a quick PSA to all agents that HQ will be running on backup power while our technicians replace some of our old wiring for new ones. The entire HQ will first be on back up power while they do this, and then the main power will turn back on to replace the backup power. Afterwards, they will go room to room, replacing the wiring in each. This process could take a few days, so ask your project managers on what time each of the rooms is scheduled to be shut down temporarily. Any projects that require nonstop power will be issued portable power stations, to allow the transfer of said projects. We thank you all for the hard work and understanding.

Director of C.A.W