How do you reconcile and forgive people who hurt you deeply? Do you have any examples to help me??
I rarely come on Tumblr anymore. I find that I get hooked on it and it crowds out the Lord in my life, with my faint and weak spirit. I have not been on in a long, long time, but I felt a strange tug to check my messages tonight, and here I find yours.
I'm humbled that you would ask me...but maybe you're asking me so the Lord will remind me how to do it myself. I wrestle with it often as this world is broken, and we experience hurt often, as we hurt others often.
Sometimes someone will hurt me and I think, "How can I forgive this hurt? I know I should...I know Jesus wants me to, but how can I love this person who has wounded my soul so deeply, who has treated me with such disregard and hurt the deepest parts of my heart?"
No matter how strong my will, no matter how much I know I should forgive that person...I cannot. My strength is short-lived and I am tempted by the Enemy with constant thoughts of how that person is unworthy of my forgiveness and how they consciously chose to hurt me...how weak I will look if I forgive them.
As a girl with a childlike heart and sometimes quiet spirit, I am tempted to feel that I must protect myself. I must show the world that they cannot steamroll over me and my emotions. After being deeply hurt by various people [as every heart is hurt] I decided that I was going to take matters into my own hands and protect myself for awhile.
But when I do that, I imprison myself. I fly into a cage and lock the door, always exhausted from trying to prove to myself and others that I cannot be hurt, when the reality is I'm hurting all the time.
But when I open my heart to Jesus..when I allow Him to protect me, my emotions, my future, my feelings, my friendships, my relationship with my guy, my family...I am set free. I am free to know that the Lord protects me. Forgiveness is not weakness. Jesus delights in helping me to love again.
The mightiest Man, the Great God, the Almighty Ancient of Days, the Lord of all Lords forgives my weak, troubled, faint, doubting, fleshly, wavering heart every hour.
And is He, the great Heavenly Host, weak?
If I am to model myself after Jesus Christ, the Suffering Servant and victorious King, who rules the ticking of time and the governing of galaxies, the courses dolphins swim and steps donkeys take, the way the flowers spring forth from the ground and the way healing descends on a woman who touches His hemmed cloak...
If His example is forgiveness of human hearts, should I not strive for that example?
Should I not saturate my sinful nature with His holy, healing heart?
Sometimes it takes awhile to heal and forgive. Sometimes I run upstairs to my room and close the door and vent about how hurt and angry I am about something that has happened with someone close to me and the last thing I feel like doing is granting them grace and showing them forgiveness. I know Jesus understands in that moment what I am feeling and why. There is no use pretending with Him. I think it actually dethrones Him and gives me a small view of His all knowing nature when I pretend I can hide what I'm feeling.
But I ask Him to help me. I ask that He cleanse my sinful heart and help me to love Him and love others the way He does. I ask for a renewed spirit and a bigger perspective. I ask for help and I wait on the Lord. I surrender the frailty of my own heart and strength and invite Him into my weakness. I run to Him and wait expectantly. :)
“There is absolutely no experience, however terrible, or heartbreaking, or unjust, or cruel, or evil, which you can meet in the course of your earthly life, that can harm you if you but let Me teach you how to accept it with joy; and to react to it triumphantly as I did myself, with love and forgiveness and with willingness to bear the results of wrong done by others. Every trial, every test, every difficulty and seemingly wrong experience through which you may have to pass, is only another opportunity granted to you of conquering an evil thing and bringing out of it something to the lasting praise and glory of God.” [Mountains of Spices by Hannah Hurnard].
I hope this helps you, dear reader. I hope this draws you nearer to the Lord. He is ready to help.
janainaart
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izzy806
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