If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine

A Northern Dingobrawler

[nuderefsarebest]

[valtsv]

bed bath and behind you

[this-onegoes]

- Blythe Baird

[grungegoths]

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

[yamitamiko]

me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ....... sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey

[dankmemeuniversity]

[afronerdism]

Let’s fight.

What’s the worst household chore? Clearly it’s doing laundry.

[my-nig-ga]

Doing dishes fasho

[sweedishcoochiemeatballs]

^agreed

[westafricanbaby]

DISHES!

[laylamajandra]

Sweeping

[ahoneyedbadger]

Cleaning the bathroom

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[twosidseofthesamecoin]

[girl-debord]

if you are in high school and you follow me idc if you learn nothing else from me, but learn this: do not join the fucking military. they will promise you all sorts of things in exchange for joining their muder-system for a few years. do not listen to them. you won’t find a sense of purpose, you won’t find an adventure, you might not even get the money they promise you for college. if you survive, you’ll come back with blood on your hands, feeling just as aimless as before except knowing you’re a killer. the government will drop you like hot potatoes the second you are not useful to them, and you will be on your own with nothing but some ptsd and a more intimate understanding of the phrase “blood for oil.”

[lofijazz]

They also have a way of targeting POC as well as those who are in a family that isn’t doing well financially. Be wary of any and all recruiters.

[mens-rights-activia]

Read this thread if you wanna know what the military does to people

[thejusticethatissocial]

I also recommend the podcast What a Hell of a Way to Die, which is by two men who joined the military very young, (one of them was 17) and then became very leftist socialists after seeing it for what it really is. They cover a lot of topics like anti imperialism, military propaganda, fascism, and talk about all if it from a perspective I haven’t heard before.

They did an episode about this topic pretty recently, titled Recruiting 16-Year-Olds: Patriotic Child Grooming.

[bogleech]

It’s a sad upsetting subject to be on my blog but one I want to boost. Military service ruins more lives than it can ever protect and veterans have among the highest rates of homelessness and suicide. They will not take care of you once you cease to be useful.

[ahoneyedbadger]

You wanna know some of the loudest people against the military? Military families.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[beckette]

men weaponize art against women

[beckette]

notable examples of this include:

that one college guy who was going to play the piano on campus until his ex took him back

the game designer who tried to propose to his (now ex) girlfriend via the spider man video game

the song “hey there, delilah”. written abt a girl who was in a relationship w another man

any time a guy tries to use art to manipulate a woman into loving him and/or giving him what he wants, he’s wielding it as a weapon

[beckette]

yo shout out to everyone who’s interpreted this post as me saying that men should never make art for any reason ever again. they’re right

[goosewithajob]

“Can One Punch Man beat-”

Yes. Always. Good lord. I never understand why people can turn this into a big serious discussion. Yes, One Punch Man would beat Thanos. He would beat Luke Skywalker, Superman, every single character from Dragon Ball Z, and every ninja from Naruto. He would beat Thor and Wolverine and the Hulk in a tag team match. 

Because he plays by different rules. One Punch Man is a PARODY character. His skill set is defined by comedy, not power levels or physical strength. One Punch Man not Superman facing off against an ever-more powerful lineup of villains. He’s the Roadrunner against Wil E. Coyote’s ever more convoluted plans. Deadpool is the only other super hero type character who comes close to living in the same realm of parody, but frankly, Deadpool repeatedly getting the crap beat out of him would be funnier than Deadpool winning, so One Punch Man would win that fight too, even if he can’t actually kill Deadpool in one punch. Because parody.

If I see another Youtube video recommended to me like “Could One Punch Man beat-” really, truly, I do not care. 

[riotlion]

I saw somebody also make this point once in another great post, I’m paraphrasing from what I remember; how strong is Saitama? However strong he needs to be in order for it to be funny.

[heizehearts]

One punch man is on the same level as bugs bunny

[tooquirkytolose]

A lady in 1905 minding her business on the trolley when she suddenly spots a man across the way with leering eyes:

[88missmarauder88]

Harry: *looking with wonder at the Marauder’s Map* Is that really…?

Fred: Dumbledore.

George: In his study.

Fred: Pacing.

George: Does that a lot.

Harry: So… what do the other professors do in their spare time?

Fred: Well, we’ve seen Flitwick’s dot hopping up and down in his office loads of times… figured he had some hidden passion for aerobics, but turns out Peeves just likes to drop his wand onto shelves he can’t quite reach.

George: Then there’s Snape. Creeps about at night quite a bit, which isn’t a surprise, but after we noticed him in the Trophy Room a few times, we went down one night to see what he was up to. He was changing your dad’s name to “Rotter” on all his Quidditch awards. 

Harry: HEY!

Fred: No worries, we set them right whenever he does it.

George: Man’s got to have a hobby.

Fred: Sprout sleepwalks, we reckon. Watched her bumping into the greenhouse wall for a half-hour one night. Lupin goes for a long jog in the Forbidden Forest once a month, it’s a bit odd. 

Harry: And McGonagall?

George: You know old mum. Standard stuff. Classroom, office, Great Hall one minute… 

Fred: …climbing the drapes, chasing birds, tipping over cups in the kitchens the next.

[twoofcups]

dc literally has better villains than marvel because marvel antagonists are always like “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i kill people because i’m SAD inside” meanwhile everyone in gotham just be off the shits and have an actual aesthetic and presentation  

[wherewhywhat]

The villain’s in Gotham are better because no one can out do Bruce Wayne in  “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i beat up people because i’m SAD inside” so they had to come up with something else.

[twoofcups]

this is the only response anyone is allowed to put on this post actually 

[prideprejudce]

every line of this tweet hits like a punch in the face

[ahoneyedbadger]

9 times out of 10 I'm packing a new bowl because the last hit tasted like butane and I need a palate cleanser