will you sleep tonight? will you think of me?

aiden king | lost

[aiden-king]

001

[aiden-king]

burningbridges-writes‌:

“There isn’t,” she contradicted. She wasn’t trying to argue with him. It’s just what was. “There hasn’t been since you stopped picking up the phone.” She had felt so desperate those weeks. Felt crazy for calling him when he wouldn’t answer. For leaving the voicemails of her crying for him. It was when he never called back, never texted, never gave her any sign that they were worth holding onto. He had let go of her and with that, he gave her nothing to grasp. Hands falling on her hips a laugh of disbelief came from his words. She couldn’t even look at him for a moment as she did everything in her to hold back the anger that suddenly shot through her. “I haven’t seen you in a year. I haven’t even heard from you in over ten months. You don’t warn me you’re coming, you don’t even say hi… You just pop up here and say that, and what? What am I supposed to do? Invite you inside and have a talk like this is any other time?”

Aiden shot her his first confused look when she argued. He’d never looked at it like that. He never could. Even when he wanted to. Even though he was the one who put the space between them. Even when he stopped answering the phone, there was still a them. It was when he realized there couldn’t be an Aiden King without Mackenzie Beckley that he decided to come back. “There’s still an us to me,” he answered, twisted lips. He was almost relieved to see anger, at least there was some kind of emotion. He didn’t expect this conversation to be smooth, didn’t expect her to just embrace him back just like that. “I don’t know, Mack. I just thought-- I didn’t think it was a conversation we should have over the phone. And I didn’t want me coming back or not to hinge on an answer from you or something, so I just came. And I was going to text you tomorrow morning, but-- but, I don’t know, I just came here.”

[aiden-king]

001

[burningbridges-writes]

aiden-king‌:

Aiden couldn’t remember a time when things with Mackenzie weren’t complicated. It seemed as if they could never find themselves on the same page for long enough for things to truly work out. The one thing that always seemed to remain, though, was somewhere inside, he was hers and she was his. He still believed that to be true, but a year of trying to convince himself it was best if it weren’t true had him doubting things as he stood in front of her now. Her confusion almost felt like another punch, and it was that he could tell she meant nothing by the question asked that almost pained him the most. “I– I’m here, Mack. I’m back,” he bit his lip. “I’m back here and I’m staying,” he clarified, swallowing harshly. “So.. can we talk about that… about us.”

She felt like she was getting the wind knocked out of her over and over with no chance to recover. No other name on her phone could have such an effect on her. No sight of any person could have the power over her like the sight of Aiden. A year apart could never have changed that. Mack wasn’t ever expecting it to. Yet, she wasn’t expecting him here. She wasn’t expecting him to state he was staying and the word us was the last kick in the gut. There wasn’t much emotion that came from her because it didn’t feel real that he could be saying that. “Aiden…” Her brow furrowed as the confusion continued. “There… There is no us? You ended it. A year ago,” she tacked on because this was so different than past breakups. This was the one where an actual expiration date had been given.

[aiden-king]

Aiden was growing antsy and almost frustrated at the lack of emotion or real reaction from her. The question made his throat tighten even more and all of the sudden, this impassioned speech and dramatic moment he’d envisioned through parts of his drive over here was slipping away in front of him. And maybe that was a good thing, but it didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel like he was just going to handle this in a more mature way, it felt like an uphill battle to get her to even understand what he wanted. But it was simple. He wanted her. “Mack... there’s always going to be an us,” he answered with a shrug, but his words weren’t casual. They were slow and soft, vulnerability that wasn’t rare between the two seeping in. “And I mean, I... I just feel like I fucked up. Big time. And I-- I mean, I want you back.”

[aiden-king]

001

[burningbridges-writes]

aiden-king‌:

He didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know if her reaction to him being here would be cold, or concerned. Angry or relieved. Happy or confused. He hadn’t the slightest clue and it seemed the lack of a reaction she showed seemed to hit at him the must. The nerves built up in his stomach mounted, a pain in his stomach seemingly moving up his chest and into his throat caused a delay in a response. He pushed up from his car, shoving the phone back into his pocket, taking a step toward the porch, but not moving to come up yet. “I was hoping we could talk.” He tried to keep himself from jumping into anything right off the bat. Tried to keep this all measured. “I know it’s late, but could you– can we talk now?”

It was an odd feeling. To have the man in front of you that was once your heart and future, and have him be a ghost. She could barely remember a time that they could go more than a week without seeing each other, and even that was rare. He was her every day, even on the bad ones between them. Now it had been a year that held a few phone calls but it had conditioned her not to be used to him. “I don’t…” Confusion filled her features as her eyes settled back on to him. “I don’t know what it is that we need to talk about?” Her tone wasn’t angry or annoyed. Her question was genuine. 

[aiden-king]

Aiden couldn’t remember a time when things with Mackenzie weren’t complicated. It seemed as if they could never find themselves on the same page for long enough for things to truly work out. The one thing that always seemed to remain, though, was somewhere inside, he was hers and she was his. He still believed that to be true, but a year of trying to convince himself it was best if it weren’t true had him doubting things as he stood in front of her now. Her confusion almost felt like another punch, and it was that he could tell she meant nothing by the question asked that almost pained him the most. “I-- I’m here, Mack. I’m back,” he bit his lip. “I’m back here and I’m staying,” he clarified, swallowing harshly. “So.. can we talk about that... about us.”

[aiden-king]

001

@burningbridges-writes​

When he set off, he planned to sleep. To go to his parents house, crash for a night and then have this conversation rested and alert. But as soon as he got closer it became obvious to him where his car was headed. He couldn’t wait, couldn’t sleep. So with a car full of junk, running on countless hours awake, Aiden pulled up to the house he’d spent seemingly half his time growing up. He climbed out of the car, thinking better of knocking on the door at such a late hour. “I’m outside.” Was all the text said and then he waited, leaning on the hood of his car, eyes moving back and forth between the phone and the door, heart pounding out of his chest, wondering what the reaction would be. 

[burningbridges-writes]

It had been a rough evening with her father, finally getting him settled in later than what a usual night looked like. She needed sleep, but this was the only time she had to herself nowadays that as tired as her eyes were she settled into the living room with tea and a book. The glow of her phone screen had caught her eye and she all but dropped her it to see the name. She thought about pretending not to see it. She thought about telling him she wasn’t coming out. She had even typed it out to erase it. Her heart raced as she stood, making it to the front door to stand there. She wasn’t ready to see him. How could she be when he wasn’t supposed to be there? It was without conscious thought that she opened the door the sight of him causing much more of a reaction than she let herself show. She took a few steps out on to the porch but chose not to come closer. “Hey.”

[aiden-king]

He didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know if her reaction to him being here would be cold, or concerned. Angry or relieved. Happy or confused. He hadn’t the slightest clue and it seemed the lack of a reaction she showed seemed to hit at him the must. The nerves built up in his stomach mounted, a pain in his stomach seemingly moving up his chest and into his throat caused a delay in a response. He pushed up from his car, shoving the phone back into his pocket, taking a step toward the porch, but not moving to come up yet. “I was hoping we could talk.” He tried to keep himself from jumping into anything right off the bat. Tried to keep this all measured. “I know it’s late, but could you-- can we talk now?”

[aiden-king]

001

@burningbridges-writes​

When he set off, he planned to sleep. To go to his parents house, crash for a night and then have this conversation rested and alert. But as soon as he got closer it became obvious to him where his car was headed. He couldn’t wait, couldn’t sleep. So with a car full of junk, running on countless hours awake, Aiden pulled up to the house he’d spent seemingly half his time growing up. He climbed out of the car, thinking better of knocking on the door at such a late hour. “I’m outside.” Was all the text said and then he waited, leaning on the hood of his car, eyes moving back and forth between the phone and the door, heart pounding out of his chest, wondering what the reaction would be.