i am the mess you chose

aiden james ryland 21 years old. liberal arts major + mechanic, extraordinaire. twin. i get told i'm a nerd sometimes. @aidjames: when i say i'm going to a 'rock show' i sound so cool, but... ain't that the gag.. #rockcollection

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Telling Aiden he didn’t plan on letting this die out was the easy part, it was the actual doing that worried him. There were lots of things Ben didn’t like about himself, lots of insecurities and lots of questions he had about his life and his future, Aiden seemed to have his life together, at least far more than he did. They were very obviously on different levels, and Ben simply worried about it being something that ended up tearing them apart after all. But it was worth a shot, he had a brother now, he’d had a brother all his life and while he wished he could go back and change it there was nothing he could do about the past, so he just had the future to look forward to. Still, he wondered what it was going to be like. 

Leaning back into the tree, Ben watched wheels turning in Aiden’s head, wondering what exactly was going on up there considering he knew how much was going on in his head. He was definitely heading towards a headache later, and a long conversation with Vanessa for sure, but right now he was sticking whatever this moment was out with Aiden. Nodding his head, he fished his phone out of his pocket, twisting it in his hands a few times. “We should probably do that, yeah, like if we’re gonna talk and hang out more we should be able to contact each other, right?” Ben held his phone out to Aiden finally, letting him put his phone number in it. “Just send me a text so I have your number.” He murmured before taking his phone back. Eyebrow lifting as Aiden mentioned telling his parents, the idea alone seemed odd to Ben, but that probably had more to do with the fact that he didn’t have communication like that with his mother, at all. But still, he nodded his head then something else peaked his interest. “Who else are you going to tell? Like who’s the first person outside of your parents that you’re going to tell?” It felt like a decent question, it could tell Ben a lot about Aiden with just the simple answer. 

As they seemed to be easing into a little bit less deep of a territory, Aiden couldn't help but continue to let his mind wander to other conversations they could have. What were Ben's friends like, what was he like in high school, did he play any sports, too, what did he do for fun, what was his favorite book - okay the last one might have been a little hit or miss, he could very well find out Ben hated reading, but that was beside the point. Opening a door to more communication between the two of them meant the opportunity to know so much more about this brother that he never got the chance to know before. As nerve wracking and definitely weird as that was, there was also a little bit of excitement present, too. He stood by saying what he had, that not looking for Ben at seventeen in the state he'd been in was a good plan, because who knew how different things would have gone then. Perhaps it was naive to think so optimistically about things already, here and now, too, but spending the last eight years with Steve and Peggy, he had learned to try to stay positive - weird as it might seem to a younger version of himself. Getting each other's phone numbers, extending the ability to talk to each other more, hang out more, that was a good thing, and he was going to take it as such.

After they were situated on the phone number front, Aiden wasn't sure if he should be preparing a momentary goodbye or not. Ben was speaking again then, however, and the question that he asked made Aiden's brow crease initially. Not because he had to think very hard about it, because the fact of the matter was that he didn't, the answer was super easy. It was more that he hadn't expected the other male to ask the question in the first place. "Uh, my best friend. Her name's Amelia. We've known each other since the Ryland's adopted me. We tell each other pretty much everything, yeah." He explained, nodding slowly. After hearing the mention of Ben having a girlfriend, he figured that would be his answer to the same question, but he could also be wrong. It wasn't like he knew all the in and out details of Ben's life, what his social sphere looked like, so there was at least a little curiosity. "You're probably gonna talk to your girlfriend about it, right? Or do you have somebody else you're gonna talk to first? The tattoo guy, maybe?"

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

Amelia and Aiden never had a problem talking to each other, it felt easy whenever they were around either to fill the moments they wanted to with words, but at the same time there was comfortable silences between them too. Their friendship was just easy, there wasn’t anything that made it complicated other than her feelings for him (which she did her best to bury). It made times like this were Aiden was excited about something exciting for her too, because of how enthusiastic he was, it made her happy knowing he’d done something he really liked doing. Hearing good things about Italy, Amelia was grateful her best friend had a good time while studying abroad. Before he’d left she’d read a few things online about it being a struggle for some people, but of course, Aiden the social butterfly he tended to be was able to make friends and live a life there, instead of just going and going to school. Sounded just like him. Nodding her head, she grinned. “Eventually, but there are a lot of places I want to go first, but it’s on the list.” Rattling off the two places in the world she wanted to go, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Aiden already knew at least one of them, even though she joked about them being the same. Wrinkling her nose at him, she shook her head a little then thanked their server as he set down their drinks. Eyebrows lifting up in the middle of adding three sugar packets to her coffee, the timing being perfect with his explanation causing her to let out a snort. “I’d never make it there, I’d be off the walls with that much caffeine and who would wrangle me?”

One of the many things Aiden was grateful for when it came to Amelia was that he could talk to her about anything and not feel like he was bugging her. It didn't matter if she was a part of what he was talking about or had any actual interest in it, she listened to him anyway, let him rattle on if he needed to. Not to say he didn't do the same for her, because he did, but if he were honest, he was way more aware of how often he had a bunch of shit to say. Knowing each other for as long as they had made that kind of open and continuous conversation easy, he figured. Giving a tilted nod of his head, a thoughtful but still subtly joking expression touched his features. "It's probably a solid first plan, considering it's technically still a US state and not a foreign country. But what do I know? Not a lot." He snickered with a loose shrug of his shoulders. Nodding his head at her look alone, reading the way she'd put the pieces together in her mind, he grinned. "Oh, I'd have to be there, for sure, for wrangling purposes." He nodded, smiling. "Not to mention, now I'd make a pretty sweet tour guide, since I've been to some of the cool places worth going to. One day. We'll get there one day." As he said it, he found himself hoping that Amelia would get to go one day, with him or not. She would love it, and she deserved to experience he, he'd told her that even while he was still there. "In the meantime, though," Aiden's brows lifted as he toyed with the straw in his iced coffee. "You've got gifts from my trip, so."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Explaining to Aiden that their mother wasn’t exactly California’s Number One Citizen, he wondered it would do. He could only assume that meeting his birth mother was an important thing he wanted, and he might have just squashed it for him. Opening his mouth to try to backtrack a little, Aiden was talking before him. Ben blinked a few times, very obviously surprised by the fact that Aiden didn’t care about meeting their mother, that whatever struggle he’d had at seventeen after finding out he’d had a brother was about him. He was quiet as Aiden went a little deeper into his explanation, he listened carefully to what he was saying, and related to all of it. The fact that his life would have been completely different if he’d had his whole brother and it angered him that his mother took that away from the both of them but even more, Ben had so little figured out at seventeen. He was living day to day trying to stay out of homeless shelters and trying to graduate high school so he could at least say he achieved something, even if it was just a high school diploma. If he’d had Aiden walk into his life then and it didn’t work out? That would have sent him on a downward spiral he probably wouldn’t have made it out of, which scared him to think about even all these years later. 

His head nodded quietly when Aiden finished talking, and even after Ben asked what they were supposed to do now, it didn’t feel like there were any clear answers. They knew about each other, evidently his parents knew about him too, but what were they supposed to do? Just dive right into being brothers, to trying to piece together the last twenty one years? It felt more right than just avoiding it all completely, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen after he left the park, but he felt like he owed it to himself and to Aiden and the shitty cards they’d both been dealt to at least try to be some kind of semblance of brothers, right? There were obvious hurdles, Aiden’s family, his “job”, other things they’d have to tackle but he figured it was worth a shot. All he knew is that he wasn’t just going to let this person walk out of his life, especially when he had so few people that actually meant something to him. Aiden already did, just by existing. 

Brow creased downwards thoughtfully, he breathed in deeply from his cigarette, the cherry at the end illuminating his fingers in the shade of the tree as he sighed the smoke from his nose. “Personally,” He paused, snuffling out the second cigarette into the ground next to the other before continuing. “I think if we just took this very obvious moment of good karma, fate, desitny, whatever you want to call it, and said fuck it that it’d come back to bite us in the ass, and I’m not really in the business of letting bad karma get me when I’ve already lived through a few versions of hell, so.” Ben offered, leaning back on his hands as he looked at Aiden almost expectantly, head tipped to the side. 

They heavy weight of 'where do we go from here' lingered, and Aiden was well aware of it. By some twist of fate, they had ended up in the same area, so close enough in fact that here they were, sitting together under a tree that Aiden spent time with his family under more than once. But what did that mean long term? After 21 years, was the possibility of any semblance of a normal relationship even there? Did their mom ruin that for them more than they'd even realized already? The bigger part of Aiden hoped that it would be different, that things might actually get to be alright between them. There may not have been some intense moment of recognition, no cosmic connection that made him feel automatically tethered to this person, no it wasn't dramatic like that, but it was subtle. It lingered in his subconscious, in all the questions that he had, in all the hopeful potential he thought there might be for the both of them to somehow bring a good into one another's lives in some capacity. He didn't want Ben going anywhere, he just wasn't totally sure where that left them, or what Ben felt about it all, either.

Only then Ben was explaining it, voicing whatever was going on in his mind, and Aiden listened, processing the sentiment. It still didn't clear a whole ton up, because it didn't answer any of the looping questions about how they were going to go about this, if it was going to work, or anything else. Aiden knew he had to talk to his parents about it all, too, because they probably had some answers of their own to offer. He couldn't imagine that they would deter him from getting to know his twin brother, considering. Chewing at the inside of his lower lip, Aiden nodded his head slowly and took a deep breath in through his nose. "Should we like--" He paused, huffing shortly and scrunching his face up subtly. "It feels so fucking weird asking if we're supposed to exchange numbers or something now, because.. I mean..." He didn't elaborate, didn't think he needed to. He figured the circumstances at this point kind of spoke for themselves. "I, um," Pausing once again, he cleared his throat, not totally sure how Ben was about to react to what he was going to say. "I'm gonna tell my parents about meeting you and talking to you more and stuff, so. I don't think it's gonna cause anything bad or anything, just like.. a heads up, I guess."

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

Amelia was so ready to find out everything that had happened and that Aiden had learned about in Italy, she was ready to grill him for hours, listen to him talk for hours about everything he experienced there, and she was happy she got to do it in person. Sticking her tongue out at him, she laughed after the fact. Listening to him get into his explanation, listening to him answering all of the questions she’d asked, she was already coming up with at least three more follow up ones. She never really cared what they talked about when she was talking to Aiden, but hearing him be so excited about something, so happy about something he’d gotten to do made it so much better. “That makes sense, but you didn’t have a hard time adjusting to it all? No one was mean to you, right?” She squinted, but she knew she wasn’t even the slightest bit threatening. “Don’t tempt me, I’d love to go to Hawaii.” She laughed, leaning back into the booth before twisting her mouth to the side in thought, thinking about where she’d really want to go. “Africa, Cape Town, specifically, so I could go on a safari to see lions, I’ve watched so many Youtube videos on it, I wanna go.”  Amelia sighed airily, then shrugged. “Or Disney World, you know, same thing.” 

Babbling the slightest bit on some of the details of his time away, Aiden knew there were a thousand more things he could say, and he didn't doubt that they would get to them, either. One of several things that came really easy for him and Amelia was talking about pretty much everything. At length. All the time. Letting out a laugh as she asked if anyone had been mean to him, he automatically shook his head with a further snickered 'no.' Leaning forward once again with his elbows on the edge of the table between them, he rolled his eyes faintly. "Doesn't every girl wanna go to Hawaii? I feel like once girls hit a certain age that's just it, that's where they wanna go." He half-joked, having known a few girls he could think of easily enough that had fit that description rather well. Amelia's answer to his question was almost surprising, but then he took a second to think about it and realized it wasn't actually terribly surprising at all. He knew enough about the girl to know how much she enjoyed lions, even without her mention of the safari to see them, so it made sense. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Disney World and Cape Town are like, not at all the same thing, but what do I know." He laughed, a subtle fondness lingering beneath the amusement in his expression. Pausing as their server came back to the table with their drinks finally, Aiden thanked the other male and immediately went in for a drink from his iced coffee, face scrunching faintly after he swallowed. "Okay, another thing about Italy? They fucking love espresso. Like when you go to most cafe's there and ask for a coffee, you're getting espresso. Not like a latte or some real sugary shit, like real deal, finely pressed and brewed, espresso. Shit's wild."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Ben’s bottom lip was going to be worked raw after he left this park, and he was probably also going to be leaving with a higher risk of lung cancer than when he came in. Pulling his cigarette carton out, he lit another one without pausing, deciding he didn’t care all that much about what Aiden thought of him, he needed to cut the edge some how. Ben didn’t know how to feel, he didn’t know what to think. Aiden had known he’d had a brother somewhere in the world, he had years to process it, wonder and day dream about it, and Ben didn’t have time to cram any of that in between sentences. He knew one thing though, this kid was far better off than he would have been if their mother had kept the both of them, and maybe that was her reasoning behind it, but it didn’t seem fair considering the hell he went through even though she had picked him. Maybe he’d have time later on to think about the reasoning behind it, maybe he’d even go talk to her but he didn’t think she’d give him much, considering he wasn’t even allowed in her house currently. 

Sighing smoke out from his lips, Ben flicked the ash from his cigarette and watched it fall to the grass between his shoes, looking up at Aiden when he was answering his question. Just the explanation alone confirmed that Aiden had been better off without their mother, the fact that his adoptive parents were better than his birth mother was was a blessing for Aiden, and Ben wasn’t oblivious to the little green monster that flared up in his head for a second. He’d done so much growing up on his own, what would he be like if he’d had good people on his side for most of his life? He figured it was something else to contemplate later on. Squinting, he shook his head as he inhaled another breath from his smoke, fingers twitching on his leg. “She would have put on a good show, acted like some doting mother who had no choice but to give you up then asked your parents for money after the fact. That’s why she’s with the guy she’s with now, cause he’s got money and she thinks she deserves the fuckin’ world after what she went through with my- our dad, like she’s an absolute saint or something, but she had no problem kicking me to the curb once her husband decided he didn’t like me, some saint.” He answered, then shook his head. “You’re better off not having her in your life, in case that wasn’t obvious.” He gestured to himself then slumped back into the tree. “So what now?” 

It was impossible for Aiden to know how things were going to turn out by the end of all of this. It was also impossible for him to know what was going through Ben's head the longer that they sat there for. He knew what a mess his own brain currently felt like, how it sort of felt like he was a little out of his own body in all this, so he could only imagine that Ben felt similarly. Maybe even more intensely, given at least Aiden had had some sort of warning, regardless of how likely he had figured these odds to be. Glancing toward the other male as Ben went to light another cigarette, Aiden's lips rolled together loosely as he took in a deep breath through his nose. He wasn't about to tell the guy how to handle his stress or anything, and given current circumstances, he figured he couldn't exactly blame him, either. Having spoken about the life he'd been given after his adoption, and noting the distinct differences between what he had going for him now and what Ben did, Aiden could only hope that it wouldn't lead to some sort of distaste for him. Ben wasn't up and bailing on current conversation, so he took that as as good a sign as he could for the time being.

It dawned on Aiden as Ben got into some more explanation about their mom that he had failed to express a distinct detail in his emotional thought process at that previously mentioned time. Still, he let Ben finish, took in what he was saying. If nothing else, it validated further something that Aiden had already sort of construed in his mind in the last eight years; he was better off without her. Steve and Peggy had been so good to him from the moment that they'd met, he wasn't foolish to think that anyone was going to match what they had given to a little boy who felt all alone in the world after all that. He did find himself wishing, though, that Ben had had someone like that in his life, because from experience, he knew the kind of difference it made. "It, um," Aiden paused, brow furrowed as he looked down in front of him at the grass he had taken to twisting anxiously with his fingers. "It was never really about her? It was more about you." He shrugged and then cleared his throat.

"I was seventeen and yeah, I'd had a good few years in this family, but like, at that point I had really fully like, come outta this shell of a person I was for a long time in that last year or two then, like made friends, got into sports. I had a good support system and I recognize that, but I had just gotten there with myself, it felt like. And then it was just a curve ball to find out I had a brother, twin or not. 'Cause I started thinking about all these scenarios of like, how different things could have been. Like would I have been different when I was younger, how foster homes maybe wouldn't have been so bad if I'd had someone with me, if we were anything alike, but then it like snowballed into dumb teenage shit like 'well what if he fucking hated me,' y'know? Like I could've met you and you could've just been this-- this fucking earth-shattering thing that happened to me because I was seventeen and I was just figuring it all out and I knew that if I met you then and it didn't go well that I was in a position where I wouldn't come back from it. Not then." His head shook slowly, brow still furrowed deeply. "I don't-- I'm not really sure what that means for now. I never even thought this would fucking happen after a certain point, because what are the fucking odds? But-- But I dunno." Aiden paused and lifted a hand to drag down his face, head shaking slowly once again. "I don't.. really know what we do now, where we go from here."

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

While Amelia had been happy Aiden had gotten to study abroad, that didn’t mean she wasn’t happy he was home again and that they could settle into their normal routines of hanging out and doing everything they always did together. Going and getting breakfast was definitely part of the routine, so it was a good way to start them back on track, she wasn’t complaining at all. “Pardon me for wanting to know about your time in another country I’ve never been to.” Amelia laughed lightly, still resting her chin on her palm and smiling at him. Listening to the way he talked about Italy, she felt the tiniest bit jealous, wondering if she’d ever get to go there someday, but for now she was working to live vicariously through her best friend. Bottom lip pouting out in an exaggerated pout, Amelia sighed. “It sounds so cool, I’m really mad at you for going without me.” The brunette joked, teasing him not at all lost just because they hadn’t seen each other for a while. “Did you make friends? Was it weird going to school there? Like was it different? I have so many questions, A.” She laughed again nose wrinkling up before she sighed. “I wanna go somewhere pretty now.” 

Grinning with a laugh, Aiden shook his head at the vaguely defensive retort on the girl's behalf. The truth of the matter was, he could probably talk for hours about all that he had learned, the things he'd been able to see, the places he got to go. His brain was just running a million miles a minute on it all and he couldn't fully figure out where to begin. "You told me I had to go." Aiden laughed in challenging reply. Leaning back in the booth seat, he took a moment to stretch his shoulders back before he shrugged them. "I mean, yeah, we were all living together, you kinda learn to like people that way." He answered. "School wasn't too terribly different, no. Like, they run a lot of abroad programs there, so there's a lot of American professors, and even the local Italian ones have been doing it for so long in the same school system that it's not very different. A little more hands-on and like location-based sometimes, 'cause it was pretty much a solid fifty-fifty on the in classroom learning and on location learning, which was pretty dope." He nodded his head slowly along with his own words as he wrapped up the explanation. "I think the hardest part at first was just adjusting to the time, and then getting used to like how different the street traffic is, and then like, the whole other language thing, too, obviously." Lifting his brows at Amelia's declaration, he wrinkled his nose faintly with a grin. "Hawaii? I'll drive." Aiden laughed out loud on purpose, knowing the lack of reality that joke held, considering. "Real talk, though, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

Eyes half rolling at the boy in front of her, Amelia leaned back into the booth they were sat in. “Well we know how you love your workouts.” She wrinkled her nose up at Aiden, a smile creeping onto her lips. It was hard not to notice Aiden being attractive, from the moment she met him she felt it was a little unfair how pretty he was, but the fact that he had a pretty tight work out regimen that clearly didn’t stop even though he was in another country for months made it worse. Amelia spent lots of long summer days sneaking gazes at his shirtless torso or watching him do just about anything that would flex his arms; sometimes it was hard being his friend, more often than not it was hard being his friend, if she were honest. Blinking the images of her best friend out of her mind, she laughed lightly, nodding her head. “A wise decision, I don’t feel like a trip to Urgent Care today.” Amelia sighed out, still smiling at the boy. Offering her order up to the waiter, Amelia’s expression changed from amused to a little judgy as he finally finished his long list of what he apparently wanted for breakfast, eyebrows raised up. “I didn’t do anything.” The brunette smiled sweetly, pushing some hair out of her face then thunked her chin down into her palm, elbow pressing into the table. “What was your favorite part of it? I wanna live vicariously through you.” 

Keeping a faint grin on his face, Aiden rolled his eyes at the girl's comment. If anyone had asked him in his younger years if he thought he would give a crap about being physically active or working out, he probably would have laughed in their faces. Steve's influence and encouragement getting into sports - specifically football - as a teenager, though, had made that a thing for him. Maybe he took it a little more seriously than entirely necessary, but he validated it with the fact that he wasn't actually playing football anymore, so a regular and specific workout regime was just like, necessary, or whatever, to make up for that. Yeah. "Does anyone ever really feel like a trip to Urgent Care?" He mused, joking challenge in his tone though a laugh slipped in in between. Amelia of all people was definitely used to the sheer amount of food that he could consume, but that didn't ever stop her from giving him that look about it. It was adorably amusing more than anything. He breathed out a chuckled 'uh huh' as his head shook once at her. Leaning back with a dramatic huff, Aiden's face scrunched up in thought as he thought back to the number of cool things there were to talk about when it came to his time abroad. "That's probably like the hardest question you could ask me." He admitted with a snicker. "It was all so cool, you know? Being somewhere I'd never been before, somewhere that far away and like, different. I'm glad I picked up some Italian before I got there so I didn't look totally stupid." He snorted gently with a tilt of his head. "There's just so much to take in. Like it's so fucking beautiful there, all the architecture and artwork, and just the layout of some of those super old cities, it felt like stuff straight out of a book, you know? Like the kinda stuff you visualize but never really experience in real life? It was fucking crazy."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Ben didn’t know how he was supposed to process everything coming at him right now. Finding out he had a twin out of the blue was far from expected when he woke up that morning, let alone when he’d been called by Isaiah to come see him. Yet there he was, sitting in the park with a kid who looked exactly like him, but had a completely separate life than him. He had so many questions, for Aiden, for his mother, for himself, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to get to them all. His life would have been completely different if he’d known Aiden forever, if he’d had a brother forever. Maybe it would have even been better for the both of them, but there was no way of knowing that now. Shrugging silently, he didn’t say anything further about Isaiah, he was still a little lost in his own head trying to process this right now, he’d get around to unpacking anything else later on. 

It was an odd sensation, hearing Aiden speak. If Ben closed his eyes it’d sound like a recording of himself, but even more odd than that was that the person talking looked exactly like him. This whole thing was a little bit trippy. Still, he tried to focus on the conversation they were having. His head nodded towards the end of Aiden’s explanation, then he breathed out a sigh. “This is fucked.” He rubbed his hand down his face, head lulling back into the tree as he thought for a moment. “Your life was alright though, like you’re good?” Ben asked, finally looking back at his brother, thinking to himself about how he was concerned that Aiden had ended up with something better than he had, despite being the one their mother had kept, because even though Ben couldn’t change anything about the past, he hoped that his moms decision hadn’t fucked up Aiden’s life entirely the way it had definitely fucked with his. 

More than just the conversation at hand and how much was going on in Aiden's head sitting there with the twin brother he had never met before, there was the realization that he had zero fucking idea where this was all going to leave them. He had conversations to have with his parents, because he wasn't just going to not tell them that he'd met Ben. How could he? He didn't know what their reaction would be. He wondered idly what Amelia would tell him to do, if she would tell him that this was his brother and whether it felt like it or not at the moment, that he shouldn't let that go. He kind of had that feeling already; like just because it wasn't there right now didn't mean he could just walk away from this interaction and never talk to Ben again. There were so many questions, so many things he probably wasn't even thinking of right now, things that would come to mind later on. He didn't want finding this person to be just this; this lingering awkward tension, this tiptoeing around questions to each other because it was so weird to take in looking at and listening to one another. Maybe with time things could be different, easier, better. Maybe.

It was a little deep in his brain, a pocket of suppressed hope that had appeared at age seventeen when he had first even heard about having a twin brother in the world. Nothing had come of it then and he honestly never expected anything to. Aiden wasn't sure if the here and now circumstances of it all were going to pan out in any way he might have imagined back then. Sucking his lower lip between his teeth, he nodded his head slowly at Ben's initial statement, because, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty fucked, wasn't it? It was the question about his life that had Aiden's brow furrowing faintly, though, gaze lifting from the grass to look at-- Jesus, it really was going to take some getting used to, looking at his own face on someone else. "After the Ryland's adopted me, yeah." He murmured finally, then cleared his throat. "I was-- kinda weird as a kid, kept to myself, didn't really.. fit anywhere, but they made me feel like I had somewhere I was supposed to be. Made me feel like I belonged somewhere. As fucking dumb as that may sound." He admitted with a very faint breath of a passing laugh. "They're good people. They adopted a baby girl when I was sixteen, too, Isabella. She's five now, pretty much thinks I'm a superhero." He nodded slowly once again, faint hints of a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth before it faltered a little once again and he breathed out a heavy sigh. "I got so pissed at them at first, when I first found out I was a twin, like it was their fault, even though deep down I knew it wasn't. Steve-- My dad, he felt so bad, he initially offered to try to see if he could contact my birth mom if that was what I really wanted." Aiden paused, swallowing thickly as his brow creased. "I think I was too freaked out by what it all would mean at the time to let him go through with it."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Telling Aiden a little about his past felt like the right thing to do, considering. He had been given up by their mom, but even with the first impression Ben figured he’d somehow still gotten a short stick here, but maybe that was just an assumption. Still, he explained bits of his past, the main parts, the parts that mattered and he wondered how Aiden’s life had been, truly hoping that it had been better than what his had been. Only hearing the explanation the other male had given him, Ben didn’t get that vibe right away. Pressing his cigarette butt into the ground he ran a hand down his face after Aiden explained himself, palm pressing into his face. “Shit.” He sighed, shaking his head. “People are fuckin’ awful sometimes, you know? I’ll never get fuckers who wail on kids and women or put them through hell just because they can, like shit, I didn’t ask to be born, why are you taking it out on me?” Ben rolled his eyes then licked his lips, running his hand back through his hair with another sigh, then shrugged. “Shit’s better for me now than it’s ever been, that idiot at the tattoo shop that called me? He looks out for me, he probably wouldn’t admit that he does, but he does. I got a girlfriend, an apartment, a car.” Ben shrugged, rolling his lips together. “I got a decent life, it’s not lavish or anything but it’s decent.” He leaned back against the tree, looking Aiden over. “These parents of yours, do they know about me? Like that you have a twin?”

It felt a little like sharing war stories or something, Aiden realized. He wasn't sure what he was expecting going into the conversation, but at the very least he had known what his own earlier life had been like, the varying shades of unpleasant it had been. Some part of him had to have hoped for better for Ben, but then another part of him had already kind of assumed that things couldn't have been too great, having a mom who was willing to give up his unknown twin and all. Still, it didn't make it suck any less that the both of them had such crappy things to tell each other about their lives, whether things were on the up for them now or not. Aiden nodded his head along with Ben's seemingly frustrated words; he got it, both from a self standpoint and given the things that Ben had been through growing up. Brows lifting subtly, he tilted his head at the mention of the guy who had recognized him back at the tattoo shop. "He seemed pretty concerned about you when I told him you had to be my twin, so." He noted with a loose shrug of his shoulders. He did have to admit that it was a good thing to hear, that things seemed to be good for Ben now. Though, he wasn't totally sure why, given they really didn't know each other.

How fucking weird did the world have to be that he could share DNA with someone, be their twin, and still not know them? There was no cosmic connection that made him suddenly feel like there was a bond between them, no subconscious trigger that was set off to make him feel like they were automatically a pair. Their mom had really fucked something up here in keeping them separate all their lives, he figured. As he was asked about his parents and what they knew, Aiden nodded his head in answer, breathing out a sigh through his nose. "It was in all my paperwork with social services, but I didn't ever see that shit. They knew from the moment they met me." He shrugged his shoulders, lips twisting to the side. "I found out when I was seventeen, on accident, sort of." The boy shifted to remove his hands from his sweatshirt pockets to push up the sleeve on his right arm passed his elbow. There was a three inch scar right beneath the bend of his elbow, on the backside of his arm, and he pointed it out now. "Compound fracture. My friends and I were dicking around, playing football without our equipment on and I took a bad hit. Bone broke right through." He started by way of explanation, tugging his sleeve back down again. "Apparently hospitals double check for any internal bleeding with compound fractures because of the open wound and all, so they had to run blood work and shit. I overheard the doctor mentioning to my parents that my blood make up results had two names in the system. My dad told him I had a twin brother." He nodded slowly, gaze thoughtful, bordering on zoned out as he stared ahead of him. "It was a weird few days after that."

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

While she was absolutely thrilled Aiden had gotten the opportunity to study abroad and go to Italy, she was selfish enough to be happy he was home and not planning on going anywhere any time soon. They’d been attached at the hip for years now, and it threw her off a little bit to not be able to hang out with him whenever she wanted, but that was fully over now and she wasn’t going to dwell on the last few months of her not having the comfort of Aiden being around because he was back now. Wrinkling her nose, she pouted. “And you didn’t even get fat while you were over there, if that were me I’d probably be a piece of fettuccine by now.” Amelia laughed out, not being able to keep the pout present on her face as she joked. Nodding her head once, Amelia lifted her arm to press her elbow into the table, chin falling into her palm now as she looked across the table. “Maybe we can go to the mall or on a bike ride or something, we’ll get to the back scratches when your mom says you can go to sleep later.” She wrinkled her nose again, then shrugged her shoulder. “I probably wouldn’t make it that long, I’d end up coming home cause I missed my parents and you too much after like a week or something silly, it wouldn’t even be worth the punishment for you.” She laughed. Looking up as their waiter arrived, Amelia smiled at the man and ordered her iced coffee, french toast and a side of bacon, then looked across the table to Aiden, already ready for him to order half the menu like he usually did when they went out.” 

All jokes and missing each other aside, Aiden was grateful for the experience he'd gotten to have abroad, and he knew that Amelia was happy for him, too, no doubt. The joking about him not leaving again or how boring things were for her without him there, though, was just them, so it wasn't terribly shocking. Aiden laughed with a dip back of his head at the girl's comment about his weight, his head shaking once it righted on his neck again. "It was a whole fuck load of carbs, I won't lie. They love their pasta over there. I was still working out like the whole time, though, I didn't slack off, that helped save me." He noted, grinning. It also helped that he had a fast metabolism or whatever, but that was aside from the point. Tilting his head back and forth slowly with the girls suggestions turned into a slow nod after a moment, eyebrows lifting. "The mall's probably safer. Imagine I started dozing off while on a bike. I don't need anymore broken pieces of me." He chuckled. Smiling, there was a subtle fondness in the look on his face as Amelia mentioned not being able to last going away for school; mostly the missing him part, but the rest of it was cute, too. Before he could comment much more on it, their server was coming over, though. Aiden ordered a water and an iced coffee before sparing an amused glance in his company's direction across the table, knowing she was undoubtedly going to have something to say about the amount he was about to order. Two by two with blueberry pancakes, eggs scrambled, crispy bacon, with an extra side of sausage links, and a side of hashbrowns. He wasn't lying when he said he was starving. Thanking their server and handing off his menu, he looked back at Amelia after the man had walked away. "Don't look at me like that, I'm a growing boy."

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

“Good, I was hoping she’d put that law into place, I was rooting for her.” Amelia wrinkled her nose up at the boy across from her, shifting a little in the seat. She definitely wouldn’t complain if Aiden didn’t go anywhere ever, ever, so she was pretty thankful that the five year old had put her foot down on the subject. “You were a college student in Italy, Aiden, you were eating far better than most college students and you know there is no denying it.” She pointed a finger at him, shaking her head subtly. Smiling as he explained he didn’t have plans the rest of the day, her face scrunched up at bit at the mention of keeping him awake. “See my suggestion was going to be head rubs and back scratches and that’ll definitely put one or both of us to sleep, so we’ll have to figure something else out but you’re mine all day, got it?” She creased her brow down at him, pulling out what was some semblance of a stern expression as she looked at him but then faded into a smile. “I should study abroad next year, so you can see how awful it was with your best friend in another country for months.” 

It was good evidently both for his little sister and for his best friend that Aiden had little to no intent to be going anywhere again anytime soon. Granted, having gone to Italy and learned and experienced all that he had there definitely did spark interest to be able to do the same in other places, too, but the likelihood wasn't high. Really, he'd only been able to go to Italy because the timing had lined up just right with the finances. It wasn't likely to happen again, especially not soon. "I'm not denying it, but I'm also saying we didn't have private five star chefs or anything." He tilted his head. "Actually, a regular chef in Italy probably would easily end up a five star chef here so maybe I can't say that." He offered with a wave of his hand. Brows lifting, he let out a breath of a laugh at what was going to be their plan for the day - one that admittedly sounded great, considering how long it had been, but definitely counterproductive to the whole not sleeping during the day thing. "All yours, all day. I'm good with it." Aiden nodded with a smile, unable to not be amused at Amelia's attempt at stern. She really was fucking adorable without even trying to be sometimes. "You definitely should. Like for the dope educational experience." He paused, snorting out a breath of a chuckle. "But I mean, punishing retaliation is valid, too."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

He didn’t know much about Aiden yet, and he didn’t know if he’d get to know much about him at all, considering how poorly this conversation seemed to be going. He was curious about this guy, his brother, his twin, but under that there was a lot of questions and confusion there, but that mostly had to do with his mother, their mother. Brow creasing downwards at the apology that left Aiden, he flicked the ash of his cigarette and looked at him with a crease in his brow. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, man.” Ben answered, lifting his brow now as if to challenge him. Nodding his head, Ben took another drag from his cigarette and leaned his head back against the tree, blinking up at the branches above him while the other boy explained his childhood wishes. “We were both pretty busy getting smacked around by my dad, who probably isn’t even my- our biological father considering all the other shit she’s lied about. Anyway, we were getting wailed on, she left that dirtbag when I was 12, by the time I was 14 she was married to another dirtbag who didn’t want me around much so I stayed at friends houses or shelters, wherever I could until I graduated and could get my own place.” He shrugged a little looking back at Aiden finally. “So you didn’t miss out on much.” Ben chuckled, taking another drag of his cigarette finally. “Were you in the foster system until you aged out or what?” 

As he sat there with this twin he had only known he had for a handful of years now, Aiden came to the realization that a lot of his questions had to do solely with Ben. There weren't many questions he could ask Steve and Peggy; they didn't know much, they only had what paperwork told them and that was mostly just medical records. He wasn't exactly intending on getting in contact with any social workers about his mom, hell, he wasn't even totally sure he did want to meet his mom in the first place. It was Ben that he was more curious about than anything, this other person that had a whole different life than he did, in different ways, for different reasons. Ben seemed to be getting to some explanation about some of those differences, and while Aiden was curious, that didn't mean he had to like what he was hearing still. Chewing at the inside of his lower lip still, he found himself nodding slowly along with what the other male explained. Another mumbled apology lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he figured it would go dismissed again so he bit it back in favor of letting out a heavy sigh. There was a subtle sadness in his gaze, combined with the confusion still, when Aiden looked up at Ben again at his question. 

He twisted his lips to the side at first before huffing out a sigh. “Technically I was adopted not real long after I was put in the system in the first place. This guy took me in, basically let his cleaning lady raise me for a few years. I dunno, I was still pretty little then.” He paused, swallowing thickly as his brow furrowed. “They took me from him and put me back in the system when I was five. He, uhhh.. went to a bar and left me in my car seat in the car for like three hours. Some college kids called the cops and off I went.” A deep breath was taken in through his nose as his gaze dropped down to the grass again. "The time it actually really counted for something was when I was thirteen. My, um-- My parents I still have now adopted me then." He explained, nodding once. "But I was in a lot of overcrowded homes before that. Like, one a year, pretty much. There was one year, I was nine, I got bounced to two homes in the same year because social services found out the dad in that house was touching some of the kids, so." He cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders back and tilting his head one way then the next. "Things have been good since I got adopted by the Ryland’s, though. My life's a hell of a lot better than I ever thought it would be, growing up." He shrugged his shoulders, frowning when he realized that that statement might be a little insensitive. "Are things good for you? On your own and whatever?"

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

They’d talked nearly every day, but even still Amelia was happy to find that nothing had changed between her and Aiden, that his time away didn’t do anything to tarnish their friendship. Things were good so far, in the moments they’d been around each other and that was a clear enough sign that they were going to stay good too. Pouting her bottom lip out hearing that his little sister had cried when she saw he was home, she shook her head against his shoulder. “She’s such a sweetie.” She smiled softly. Listing off the mostly boring things she’d done while Aiden had been in Italy even though he’d already known them, a furrow formed in her brow when he answered her. “I’m sure most people we know wouldn’t consider any of that fun at all, you’re just nice to me.” Amelia smiled then sat up as he parked the car. Half rolling her eyes at him, she scoffed. “Sorry there’s no fancy Italian chefs around here for you, sir.” The brunette answered, brushing some fly away’s out of her face as Aiden lifted his arm around her shoulder once more. “I’m excited for french toast and bacon, you can choose to be disappointed if you want to but I’m going to enjoy this.” Getting inside and getting seated, Amelia didn’t bother looking over the menu she was given already knowing exactly what she wanted. Looking at the boy sitting across from her, she smiled softly. “Are you running off somewhere after this or do I get you for a little while after breakfast?” 

"Yeah, she told me I'm 'never allowed to leave again ever, ever,' so I think that's like, in the law officially not or something." Aiden added, tone light. He loved his little sister dearly, and if anyone knew that it was Amelia, so whatever subtle joking there was in his voice, she would know he wasn't being mean about the little girl. Scoffing himself, he rolled his eyes right back at her retort. "I didn't have like special chefs all the time or anything, I was still a college student, jesus christ." He laughed with a shake of his head. "They're just hella careful with their cooking craft out there, it's wild. Italians are so extra but like.. in the best ways." He mused, giving a single nod this time. Settling at the table that they were given, Aiden settled the bag of gifts he had brought back for her beside him on the booth seat before leaning forward on his forearms against the edge of the table. "I'm running off exactly nowhere. I think I'm banned from going home for most of the day, actually. Mom's trying to force me back onto California time and she knows I'll end up going to bed at like three in the afternoon here if I don't figure out how to keep myself awake, so." He lifted his brows, and his hands in semblance of a shrug. "By all means, keep me for a while."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

Ben didn’t know what to expect walking into the park to see Aiden. He hadn’t been expecting this kind of meeting at all, let alone a conversation that had to be had because of it. He was capable though, he was mature enough to be able to hold the conversation, answer and ask his own questions, and he had lots of those; this was just something he didn’t know how he was going to handle in the long run, or what it was going to change. He’d have to take to day by day, though. Sitting down against the tree, he wasn’t shy about smoking now, he never had been and he felt like he deserved a cigarette now more than ever. Stuffing the carton back in his pocket after Aiden turned him down, he leaned his head back, eyeing where the other boy had settled in the grass. It was weird, like looking into a mirror that wasn’t all a mirror looking at Aiden, hearing the way they sounded the same was even another reason to really be weirded out like this. Head lulling towards the other male, he lifted an eyebrow as he inhaled through the filter. “Yeah.” He paused, squinting subtly. “It’s kind of complicated, I guess. I haven’t talked to her in a while, a few months but it’s not like we had the greatest relationship anyway.” 

While there was no perfect way to approach the situation at hand, Aiden at least hoped that it would go smoothly enough that some questions could be answered. Considering the sheer amount of them that looped around in his own head, he could only imagine that Ben had them, too. He hoped that their getting to talk to each other, no matter how unexpected and discombobulating all of it seemed, that it ultimately ended up being a good thing, somehow. Listening to Ben's answer to his question, his teeth worked at the inside of his lower lip, his head nodding gently. He knew next to nothing about the woman that had given birth to him, other than the fact that his records said he was one of a pair of twins and that his mother had chosen to give him up to the foster system when he was two years old. He had formulated his own opinion of her based on that alone, which led to an unfortunate lack of surprise to find that Ben said their relationship wasn't so great. Still, it didn't exactly make him happy to hear it for the other male. "Sorry." He mumbled, maybe for asking, maybe for all of it. His hands stuffed into his sweatshirt pockets and fiddled with his car keys on his lanyard there as he looked down at the grass. "When I was little I imagined this great mom I had out there somewhere, like she'd come find me or something, but then I got older and that went away."

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

Head on Aiden’s shoulder as they drove towards their breakfast destination, she was comfortable and content there. She’d definitely be suggesting they go back to her house and have a good back scratching session, it was deserved for sure after being apart for so long. Amelia had never been shy about being affectionate with Aiden, even if they were just friends. There was a comfort level they had with each other that Amelia couldn’t say she had with many other people, so the way they were with each other was just natural, and everyone liked back scratches and head rubs, right? “Good, I’d appreciate it if you never went anywhere again, Miss Bella and I agreed on that the day after you left when I walked her home from school.” She smiled tilting her head to look up at him then nuzzling her cheek into his shoulder a little more. “Well, it started with absolutely nothing, some school, a little work sprinkled in, rewatching Buffy and Angel and then… yeah more nothing, mostly just waiting for the fun part of the duo to come home.” 

It had been a few months apart, but between talking everyday and a general being used to how they were with other, Aiden was glad but not totally surprised how easy it was to fall right back into the swing of things with Amelia. Surprising her and going to get food, her head on his shoulder, the casual and playful way they talked, it was all characteristic to them and he appreciated that an ongoing physical distance didn't seem to do much to change all of that. "I'm sure Bella did agree." He snorted out a chuckle with another small shake of his head. "When she woke up the other morning after my dad had picked me up, she cried on me for like twenty minutes, she missed me so much." He pouted out his bottom lip dramatically. "It was somehow cute and sad at the same time." He snickered faintly, a smile reappearing. Listening as Amelia explained what she had gotten up to in his absence, he probably could have guessed most of it without asking her. He had a vague idea anyway from their daily talking, but still, it was nice to pretend on a full recap. "You're fun, who said you're not fun? You just have a different kind of fun, doesn't mean you're not fun at all." He pointed out with a tilt of his head. It was only a couple more minutes before they were pulling up at the restaurant they were getting breakfast at, Aiden heaving out a dramatically heavy sigh as he shifted his car into park. "This is going to disappoint me I can feel it." He half-joked before he was getting out of the car. He let Amelia get her own door this time - because subtle balance, or whatever - but still slung his arm over her shoulders again after he finished grabbing the bag that had her gifts in it from the back seat. "I hope you're ready for me to not shut up for a while."

[aidenjryland]

benxwaters·:

The agreement on the park near by had Ben thinking about bailing on whatever this was to just go back to hanging out with his girlfriend and forgetting any of this even happened, and as he walked out the back door without another word and dropped into the drivers seat of his car, he was almost sure he was going to head in that direction. But turning the car on he headed in the direction of the park instead. Stopping at a 7-Eleven, he got another pack of cigarettes and stuffed them in his pocket, knowing he’d need them later. Pulling up in the parking lot of the park, he scanned the area while he sat in his car for another few seconds. He had a twin, not just someone who looked like him, not a long lost brother, a twin. He felt dizzy again. Taking another few seconds to collect himself, Ben finally got out of the car and headed down to where he saw Aiden, his fucking twin, standing by a tree. “Hey.” He murmured quietly, carelessly moving to sit with his back against the tree, pulling his new pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and packing them against his hand after pulling the plastic off and stuffing the trash in his pocket. Opening the carton and pulling one out for himself, he held it between his lips before offering one to Aiden, raising an eyebrow. “Might as well start now, this could be a long conversation.” Ben drawled, still holding the carton up to the other boy as he lit the smoke between his lips with his other hand. 

As he stood there under the familiar tree, Aiden started working through some sort of gameplan in his head; how long he would actually wait there for, how he would go about the conversation with his parents when he was telling them he met his twin for like five whole seconds, whether or not he may need some kind of therapy after it all. Ben showed up not too far along into all that thinking, though, and kind of put a pause on it. Aiden stepped off from leaning against the tree - as if that was some kind of necessary, or they were going to shake hands or something else just as equally ridiculous. He murmured a quiet 'hey' of his own, and practically winced at the way that it sounded exactly the same as the greeting before it. In his moment of deliberation on sitting down or not, Aiden was halted once again as Ben held his newly opened back of cigarettes out to him. "Uhh, I'm good, actually, thanks.." He mumbled with a subtle dismissive wave of his hand. Smoking had never been his thing; between living in multiple homes where he'd gained a dislike for the smell, and then playing football once he was older, it just wasn't for him. Clearing his throat turned into puffing out a heavy breath before he finally resolved to sitting down on the grass diagonal from where Ben sat back against the tree. "So, did you--" Aiden cut off on the beginning of his question, trying to figure out if there were a better way to go about asking it, his brow furrowed faintly. "Have you, um-- have you been with our mom this whole time?"

[aidenjryland]

meliaxmartin·:

Leaving Aiden in her room, Amelia rushed down the hall to brush her teeth and her hair. Putting it back in a messy bun, she ran back to her room to throw a bra and some shoes on before going downstairs. She wasn’t going to waste another second with Aiden being home after not having him around for months. Coming up beside him she smiled having his arm thrown around her shoulders. “I’ll be back later, mom.” She smiled, letting herself be guided out to his car, rolling her eyes. “I’m not gonna say a thing as long as you don’t kill me, but if you do I’m haunting you forever.” The brunette laughed, plopping down in the passenger seat of his car and twisting to grab her seat belt as he got in the drivers side. Squinting in his direction as he spoke, Amelia shook her head, a displeased expression on her face before she leaned sideways, curling herself up in the seat and thunked her head down on Aiden’s shoulder. “I’m really happy you’re home, Aiden.” She murmured, her cheek pressed against his t-shirt. “I’ve had a very boring time without you.” 

Letting out a laugh at the girl's threat, Aiden shook his head, but otherwise didn't comment. It wasn't like he was a terrible driver anyway, he'd never get away with it having an EMT for a dad, and all. Getting going toward their breakfast destination, it didn't come as a surprise when Amelia's head fell against his shoulder, his eyes shifting from the road for just a second to glance at her with a smile. Being notably affectionate with one another wasn't particularly odd for them, in fact it was more common than it wasn't. Admittedly it was something that Aiden had missed about being around the girl even while they were talking everyday during his time away. "Well, lucky for you, I'm not going anywhere again anytime soon. Or like, probably ever. It's still a fucking miracle I even got to do that." He snickered with a small shake of his head. "What did you do without me here, though? If it's so boring the ten minute drive should cover it, right?" He teased gently, reaching over with one hand to squeeze at her knee before it moved back to his own space. "God knows I'm gonna be talking about all the crap I got up to for days, so you should get your word in now probably."