Apparently this is still a controversial opinion, but abuse is still abuse even when it’s aimed at people you don’t like.
Abuse is still abuse even when perpetuated by people you do like, just the same.
I’ll add another:
Consensual abuse is still abuse
Nnnnnope. Those terms are mutually exclusive. Violation of consent is the fundamental core of what makes abuse abuse. You can be trained to expect or believe you deserve something, but that’s not the same as consenting to it.
I deny this. I do not agree.
There’s an objective standard. When context is taken into account (and consent is usually a very large part of context, but it’s never absolute in sufficiency), what’s bad is bad - not just sometimes, but all the time.
Oh look, Catholics trying to pretend that their moral code is perfect and universal. Freely given consent is sufficient. If you don’t like what two adults are happily doing between themselves, consider shutting the fuck up and leaving them alone.
The papists are up to their old tricks, I see
Actually someone can give consent because the price of not consenting is too high and that is still considered abuse. It’s called coercion .Abusive behavior is abusive behavior even if the person you are abusing allows it or believes that s/he deserves it. The rest of us can see it for what it is. No amount of semantics can change that.
Repeat after me:
Consent cannot be coerced.
You can perform consent because you’re scared of what will happen. But you’re not actually consenting.
You are telling me that I consented to what my abusers did to me. You are telling me that some of the things I do with other consenting adults, though profoundly healing and highly desired for everyone involved, are abuse because they Look Wrong. Do not go down this road.
If the fundamental core of your ethics is not respecting other people’s autonomy, your ethics are fucking broken. Stop telling other people you can decide what they can and can’t consent to.
Oh sweetie, sounds like you are still getting things a little twisted. I am not telling you either of those things and your reaction is this strong for a reason. I would suggest you examine why your reaction is this vehement and that will probably be the most beneficial to your journey in healing. Good luck.
Oh sweetie, sounds like you’re not as good at communicating as you think.
I’m saying that consent cannot be coerced - only performance of consent can.
You are claiming that consent can be coerced, it’s just bad to.
So yeah, you’re saying that all those times I said yes to make the pain stop, I was actually consenting.
If that’s not what you meant, perhaps think about the implications at play here.
I would suggest you stop being so fucking condescending until you’re sure it’s justified. I know exactly why my reaction is this vehement - and it’s the result of my healing.
I’m this passionate about it because I have spent my entire life being told that I didn’t really know what I wanted or what I meant or what was good for me - and every single time, it was by people who regarded my pain as less of a problem than their inconvenience.
I’m this passionate about it because I’ve seen the same pattern in countless survivors around me.
I’m this passionate about it because overriding or ignoring consent is a critical component of literally all abuse I’ve ever seen.
I’m this passionate about it because I’ve seen the healing power of autonomy, firsthand. I’ve seen the good it does people to know that they can set boundaries and have them respected unconditionally.
I’m this passionate about it because my autonomy is still under attack - though now by authorities and political movements rather than individual abusers. People who want to make it impossible for me to exist are literally passing laws making it easier to lock me up for being too visibly weird.
I’m this passionate about it because I could be denied medical care if I was completely honest with my medical team, because they would be ‘protecting my autonomy’ from me.
I’m this passionate about it because I’ve seen a dear friend fall into that trap and it’s killing him.
So… Now you know why I am. The question is, why aren’t you?
“If you’re being coerced it’s abuse” not shit Sherlock! Nobody is saying it’s not! Coercion isn’t consent, and I have no idea where you got that concept from! This post is about actual consent! @aifementu
This coward blocked me because they have no real arguments, just stubborn insistence that they’re right. Buddy, that is not just a “semantic” distinction, it’s also a legal one! Coerced “consent” is literally not considered consent legally! It’s only consent if it’s freely given! Coercion isn’t consent, not by definition, and not legally! What point are we missing? You’re the one who doesn’t know what consent is!
@aifementu pulling some condescending, patronizing-ass BS a la “sweetie the fact that you’re angry about blatant disrespect is just more proof that I’m correct and you don’t know what you’re talking about” is textbook manipulation and *that* is what’s actually transparent.
But you’re not condescending at all and your multiple posts on your blog about how much life sucks aren’t a manipulation for attention at all. 👌
