- A very very long retell of what I believe to be my first shift.
It was 2021, and it had been a hot minute since I discovered shifting. To be honest, I was beyond “delusional” than I am now. There were no doubts, only absolute confidence in KNOWING that I can be in another reality.
I was shifting to an early iteration of my main MHA DR, yes, very cringy, very me.
On this day, I vividly recall sleeping upside down on my bed. I was determined to try out the raven method once more. It was a late night, and I was filled with excitement, eager to see where the night would take me.
And to note, that was an era when I genuinely believed I required a method to shift. I thought I needed about 10 gallons of water to shift, or a clean room, or literally be in a good mood all day.
So, yeah, I had absolutely no idea about the hypnagogic state, the void state, or lucid dreaming. It was just me and my naïve mind against the world.
Anywho, I don’t recall much throughout the time I was doing my method, and the time I had induced dreaming, but I did.
My dream, which is a bit hazy now, still lingers in my memory. But only the final moments remain in my head.
I was running around a field with people I assumed were my CR siblings and cousins. Suddenly, I tripped and fell on the grass.
I recall looking to my side and seeing a full and clear dandelion. The only one in the entire field. That’s when I realized I was dreaming. I grasped the dandelion and stood up once more.
I held the dandelion in my hand, fully aware that I could do whatever I pleased in that moment. Suddenly, a switch flipped over me, and I finally uttered the words,
“Once I blow this dandelion away, I’m going to shift, and I’ll be in my DR.”
As soon as I blew air out to the flower, I looked up at my siblings and the field, and a darkness washed over me, as I seemingly hit the ground.
I jolted awake after a moment. and I was met with a ceiling of an oddly familiar room.
I turned to my left, and looked around my surroundings.
The room was adorned with a multitude of drawings, mannequins adorned with pins, and different colored cloths scattered across the drawers.
I looked down at where I was lying. It was a fuchsia chaise lounge chair.
And that’s where it hit me…
I’m currently in my DR adoptive aunt’s fashion design room.
Yes, my guardian was a renowned fashion designer in the hero industry. And yes, I wanted to be a model, aside from being a pro hero, that’s what I had scripted LOL!
Anyway, I remember slowly climbing out of the chaise lounge and get up to snoop at my aunts desk. I eye the drawings of new clothing and costumes my aunt had made, the threads, needles, and undone sewings in her desk. I was really here, and I couldn’t believe it.
My thoughts were interrupted by what seemed like hundreds of notifications I was receiving on my phone. In my head I told myself it was expected. After all, I WAS the niece of the most famous and influential fashion icon in Japan, wasn’t I?
My thoughts also quickly went to UA High. I recall freaking out and checking the time but seeing that it wasn’t too late to go to school yet. I would get ready as soon as possible AND FINALLY SEE CLASS 1A. I WAS GEEKING.
I turned around once again to see a mirror and took note of my reflection, which was surprisingly…me??
Well, yes, me of course it was me. But CR me not DR. Though at the moment, it felt right, like everything fell into place perfectly. I grinned at my reflection before looking around again.
I then remembered my CR bestfriend.
She and I were obsessed with shifting during that time. We would plan group shifts and even script together. She would be so happy to hear about this. I told myself she would be the first to know after I went back.
My train of thoughts was interrupted again when I heard someone down the hall. I backed away from the door to see who it was. To this day, I still have no idea who I saw,,,it could have been a version of my CR dad, who was presumably looking for me, or it could have been my DR twin brother.
Either ways I was not about to check. I was still a bit shocked and scared about the whole ordeal, so I closed the door before backing away, plopping back into the chaise chair and laying down.
I sighed in contentment, realizing that I had actually shifted before I closed my eyes with a huge smile on my face.
Yeah biggest mistake EVER.
When I blinked my eyes open again, I found myself back in my CR, surrounded by the familiar ceiling of my bedroom and my bed. However, my heart was beating differently.
I kept my promise by jumping out of bed and immediately texting my best friend about the situation. I don’t recall what she said, but I knew I had spilled EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. And I do remember her believing me and being so happy about it.
After some reflection and a few texts back, I realized that my shift wasn’t exactly what I had intended it to be, which was to my Main MHA DR. It was sorta like an alternate reality. In this alternate reality, the house I was in was a blend of my old CR childhood home and the one I had scripted living in, in Japan.
So, I had shifted…but not really….? At the time I dismissed my doubts and was in a state of euphoria for the days following.
Though that didn’t last for very long.
The months and years following that day I don’t recall much. But what I do know is that i had attempted to replicate the same process and success and was never satisfied. Failure after failure resulted in growing resentment.
I had idealized the concept of what my first shift would be and feel like so much, that I had somehow gaslighted myself into believing that day wasn’t even a shift. That it was all in my imagination, and that I was making stuff up. Shifting became something so unattainable to me, that I had stopped trying for a very long time.
I come here to tell my experience not to gain any kind of scrutiny, or to be accused of lying nor to be dismissed as an irrelevant story, though rather, as a form of validation towards myself.
I shift for me. I shift for the 12 year old girl who was ecstatic to find out she can conquer universes and live in wonderlands, something she had dreamed of since she could remember.
I’m glad I found shifting, and i’m so glad im able to experience the hardships of it, and the exciting parts as well. Ive gotten at the point where I find joy in the process of getting to my DR now. Something that had me feeling desperate and sad.
Yes, sometimes I still feel a sense of desperation to get there, wanting and yearning to be with my friends, but I know these feelings and my work is not in vain.
I know that i’ll shift. I know that I have.
I’m here to say that you will get there. There’s no need to panic, no need to worry, and no need to feel hopeless.
You, cosmic being, are capable of everything you set your heart to. Shifting is inevitable, it’s always been. Since you were just a star in the universe, to when you first discovered you can triumph over realities.
Sometimes all we need is a little reminder.
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