I've come to the realization that I have been grieving and processing the fact that I and others are expected to comply with a system that 1) shaped a man who spewed very hurtful, harmful, and false rhetoric; 2) protected him and his privilege to demean others while proclaimimg Jesus; and 3) still polices the way people are "allowed" to respond to his unfortunate death.
My entire life, I've bumped up against a moral double standard that is baked into America's history, one that says marginalized communities must grieve "correctly", even for those who actively harmed, targeted, and vilified them with damning biased and racist narratives; all while dominant groups have been permitted, even celebrated, for finding entertainment in the suffering of others.
When members of marginalized communities decline to mourn ā or even openly express relief ā at the passing of someone who publicly demeaned, attacked, and dehumanized them, their reaction is pathologized as cruelty. They are scolded for not offering empathy to those who never extended empathy to them, told that āsomething is very wrong with any person who could ever celebrate the violent assassination of a patriot.ā Yet this nation has a long and bloody history of public celebrations of Black pain ā lynching photographs turned into postcards, picnics held under hanging bodies, cheers erupting at executions and assassinations of those who dared resist racial hierarchies.
I am NOT justifying the violence, but the hypocrisy is staggering. Children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of those who once cheered violence against the oppressed now clutch their pearls when the oppressed refuse to cry over the silencing of an oppressor. This demand is not about grief at all, it is about control: about centering certain lives in death when they were never held accountable in life.
What we are witnessing is not a failure of empathy by marginalized people. It is a failure of the dominant culture to reckon with its own legacy of crueltyāand its ongoing expectation that the oppressed extend grace where they themselves never have.
And the selective morality that shields specific figures with a veneer of faith continually condemns others without ever interrogating the more profound injustice.
Weāve never been taught to have compassion for Goliath after he was slain. Yet no one in churches scolds David for the act of murder itself. Goliath bullied David and his people, so the church has taught us that David was justified. But letās not forget that David still took a life, and many more after that. To some, this man may seem like David, a flawed but āchosenā figure. But too many are treating the very communities he targeted and demeaned as if they were Goliath; enemies to be defeated, voices to be silenced. They were never Goliath. They are the ones standing in the same camp David fought to protect, and their grief is real. Their pain matters. To dismiss it or demand their silence is to add another wound.
And yet, redemption is still possible. The same God who forgave David offers forgiveness to all who seek it. No one is beyond Godās mercy ā but forgiveness does not erase accountability, and it cannot require the oppressed to pretend their wounds never happened. True forgiveness faces harm honestly and allows space for lament.
I do not condone the act of the killer. His actions were evil. I also do not condone the harmful behaviors of the man who has lost his life. His behavior was divisive and racist. I am having the hardest time with one man's behavior being excused and sanctified because he publicly professed to know and love Jesus. His faith does not erase his continual intentional harm all for his own financial and reputational benefit. Proclaiming Christ with his lips while demeaning, dismissing, and targeting others with his harmful and biased rhetoric is not discipleship. That is hypocrisy.
What disturbs me further is how so many "Christians" continue to weaponize faith in the aftermath. The same twisting of Scripture that justified slavery, segregation, and the brutal mistreatment of Black citizens is reappearing now. "Slaves, obey your masters" has been exchanged for a modern demand: "Grieve as we say you should. Show compassion on command. Honor those who have never honored you."
This is not gospel. This is control.
True gospel calls for repentance, not selective sanctification.